NoFireWater

I love that, recovering perfectionist. Fits a lot of us here.

I'm finding it impossible to quit drinking and keep up with my endless shoulds and to do lists as well. Part of it is whining "It's hard to quit drinking, I deserve a break" but part of it is just I'm too tired to do it all. You have to choose your battles and staying sober is at the top of the list. Still trying to figure out how I did it all drinking?!?!? I'm finding sober I just want to slow down and cut out everything that isn't completely necessary, retreat for awhile...

It is starting to feel like this can be done!

iwillwait

Retreat for awhile - yes. Besides the alcohol withdrawal, even harder really, I am tapering off a ten year xanax prescription. So what I have read suggest benzo PAWS can last years. Ive really done a doozy on my head trying to forget. The joke's on me, because now I can't remember when I want to.

NFW - you described it pretty well. I don't feel like doing much anymore, and I'm supposed to be finally discovering life, right? I could easily become a recluse.

What sorts of thing do you guys do in the evening? I feel like I'm no fun anymore. Not that I was before, because I was still doing nothing. I was just drinking while I did nothing so it felt like something.

Mel12

Hi IWW,

Tonight I avoided a birthday party of dear friends, which means I think that I am on phase 3:

Phase 1 is "I want to quit, but how can I? My friends will pressure me into drinking!"

Phase 2 is "well what do you know, my friends are fine with me not drinking."

Phase 3 is "even though my friends are okay with the new me, the time has come for me to find a life that does not revolve around events which are partially or totally organized around drinking."

Now that I have reached Phase 3, I feel socially squashed, so the last thing I would try to do is give you or anyone advice. But it has dawned upon me that I need to let go of something, I need to create space so something new can enter.

Mel

TodayisGood

Good morning,
I am boring too with uneventful evenings and weekends, but I like it that way. Helps me recharge for the work week. Last night, I did some exercise, read SR and went to bed. On the weekend, I like naps.

NoFireWater

IWillWait thanks for bringing this up. I'm struggling with the same issues. I feel like silly fun left the building with the Captain Morgan and I miss it. I wasn't doing much before either, but I did enjoy hanging out with my friends laughing and drinking does bring out a funny way to look at life in general. Now it's all about responsibilities and it's making me crazy. Part of the problem for me is money, I can think of things I'd enjoy like travel, concerts ,shopping but can't afford them right now. I'm also limited as I take care of my elderly mom and can't leave her alone for long. I think the PAWS is making it worse for us. We expect to feel great because we're "being good" and when we don't it's really frustrating.

Mel, your description of socially squashed is excellent. I've been to the bar with friends and I get bored so quickly. We do need to make room for new things, it's just hard finding out what they are.

I'm really liking being sober, and I don't miss so much of the anxiety, guilt, and chaos that goes along with drinking. Just have to wait it out until I feel better I guess. We'll have to come up with ideas for fun together

Mel12

Hi NFW and IWW,

For me alcohol was less about feeling good than about not feeling bad. It was my "escape valve" for stress. Of course, I was deluded in believing alcohol was a good stress reliever. Be that as it may, these days when it comes to stress, I just stew in it like an overripe tomato. At least I am no longer making the stress worse by drinking.

Truth be told, marijuana is the drug that makes me feel good. Alcohol doesn't, though there were moments when it made me feel less bad. That is why I really need to stay away from marijuana, for I know I would become 200% addicted in a minute.

Mel

Vajra

Im back again after falling off.Therapist said I should post a soon as I got home. Wish me luck guys.

P.S. I made some off color posts ridiculing certain recovery methods in the past.I apologize to any I offended. Won't happen again.

Mel12

Glad to see you back, Vajra! Welcome back. - Mel

Vajra

Thanks,Mel!

Dee74

welcome back Vajra

D

TodayisGood

Welcome Vajra. Good job getting back to qitting.

iwillwait

Welcome back V.

Mel - I would probably be a pot head now if I didn't have kids. It wouldn't help me learn better coping techniques, though.

Nfw- Between all of us surely we can think of some cheap things to do.

I have to be careful with muscle relaxers. I take them when my back and butt are spasming. It's becoming a regular weekend thing, tho it is needed. But tonight I am dying to take one because something feels pinched bad. I'm just scared they will become my new habit.

Really4Real

Welcome back V! Glad you're doing it again!

Evenings... ummm... well, there is reading, watching tv, meetings, therapy, meeting with friends who don't drink. It all boils down to - do I feel comfortable with 'me'. Nope, not yet. Do I like me, nope not yet. But I'm learning. We're all learning.

I had a hard counseling session (church) today. My mind still feels jelly-fied. So, not going to post much. Feelings of or compulsion to drink is down to almost nil again.... THAT is a relief

Still battling depression on one hand and anxiety and hyperactivity on the other hand. About to drop another 50 on my zoloft. We'll see how that goes...

Colonoscopy went ok.... I remember laying there and saying 'I feel funny' and the next think I know I'm in the recovery room and my hubby is there and I'm awake. One polyp sent out but didn't look cancerous. A couple other minor problems - nothing that's affecting me.
Tomorrow, I am getting my neck x-rayed. Can't turn it too far to either side before it hurts. Been like that for 3 and a half weeks.

I feel like telling God, 'Hey Dad, can I please use your credit card'... hmmmmmmm.

IWW.. don't fret about how long PAWS can last. That's future stuff. Be concerned about today and how you can live for today. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, it's a focus thing. If you focus too much on the negative, guess what will happen? Just a thought And yeah, I'm talking to myself also.

Have a good night one and all.

Really4Real

IWW.... Muscle relaxers do absolutely nothing for me.... at least flexeril doesn't.
I think they more or less just trick your mind into thinking it doesn't hurt... IMHO.

iwillwait

Sometimes flexeril is all that will take the edge off the pain for me. And then I sleep ten hours. As soon as I get up and start moving around again the pain comes back, usually not as bad tho. It's like hitting a re-set button.

Dee74

Stick with it Mel (and IWW and everyone else)

I've become a lot better with dealing with stress - I recognise there's only so much I can do, so I do what I can...and the stuff I simply can't do anything about...I have to let. it. go.

I'm not sure who's religious or not, so I'll just say I put myself in the Universe's hands for the stuff I have to let go - I've never had any outcomes I can't deal with yet

and I was addicted to pot as I was to alcohol later on...you made a good choice not going down that road, Mel IMO

D

NoFireWater

Good to hear from you Vajra-welcome back!

R4R glad procedure is over with and they didn't find anything major *sigh of relief* Good luck with neck-hope they can find some relief for you.

Headaches finally subsiding. Maybe I was just getting a bug-at least I feel like I have a little energy again.

I've steered clear of pot too-could see getting addicted to that as well.

I wish I could get addicted to exercise as easily as I get addicted to the stuff that's bad for you

MyTimeNow

Hello strangers... !

I'm back in the early days again and tbh struggling to get back into the posting side of things. Would anybody mind if I posted here as well as September? Feeling a little lost over there and I'm fast losing my mojo. It's cheered me up to read your posts though and see everybody doing well xx

Obladi

MTN, I'm hanging in both camps as well and also feel like this is my real home, would love to have you post here.

Mel, it's really great to read you. Thanks for continuing to put it out there.

R4R, glad things went well at the doctor, I know you were worried.

Hi TIG!

And a good day to all other Julians. Appreciate you all!

MyTimeNow

That's what I was thinking Obladi - it's like coming home! Hope things are well with you