Class Of September 2012 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 896
[QUOTE=sobrietygrl4;3571795]SFMS, Deepbreath, and WWG-no judgement here! I have picked myself up, dusted myself off, only to land back in the dirt again over and over for years. Most of us have been there. The important thing is admitting it and looking forward, not back. Too many people stumble and think they've failed, so they give up and never return. That's not our purpose!! We all need each other for support! We are each other's cheerleaders, shoulders, and outstretched arms. The last thing that I need right now is a place that would make me feel unwelcome if there was some kind of perceived 'failure' in my life, and I sure know that isn't the case with this September group!
Every new tool that I find in recovery I'm using to build up my guard rails. If my car gets going fast enough, I could still plow through it. But the more I'm on here, the more I learn about how to control my urges, the more I learn how to handle life on life's terms, the stronger my guard rail will be and the less of a chance there will be that I'll take it out. I used my past mistakes to lay the foundation; the things that I am learning will keep me from making those mistakes again.[/QUOT
you wrote my thoughts that i couldn't put into words.
Every new tool that I find in recovery I'm using to build up my guard rails. If my car gets going fast enough, I could still plow through it. But the more I'm on here, the more I learn about how to control my urges, the more I learn how to handle life on life's terms, the stronger my guard rail will be and the less of a chance there will be that I'll take it out. I used my past mistakes to lay the foundation; the things that I am learning will keep me from making those mistakes again.[/QUOT
you wrote my thoughts that i couldn't put into words.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 289
SFMS, Deepbreath & WWG, my friends...none of you have failed, because not a single one of you sound like you want to give up! Don't ever feel embarrassed or ashamed of coming to your SR family. We will always be here. I like to think that if and when I have a slip, that there's not a doubt in my mind I could come here for support.
I know I posted for WWG earlier, but to you SFMS & Deepbreath, I know I'm only on day 5, not exactly an expert at giving advice, but I would like to offer something. It's no lie when they tell you on here to take it 1 day at a time. Every single time I quit & relapsed in the past it was because my thinking was that 'I have to quit FOREVER'. That's a scary word. I gave in everytime. I knew I had to change something. What I'm doing different this time is saying to myself every single morning, 'Today, I'm not going to drink', and that's what's got me past my big record of only 2 days. I have no idea what the future has in store, but 'today, day 5, I'm not going to drink.' Join me...taking it 1 day at a time.
Big Hugs to all of you!!
I know I posted for WWG earlier, but to you SFMS & Deepbreath, I know I'm only on day 5, not exactly an expert at giving advice, but I would like to offer something. It's no lie when they tell you on here to take it 1 day at a time. Every single time I quit & relapsed in the past it was because my thinking was that 'I have to quit FOREVER'. That's a scary word. I gave in everytime. I knew I had to change something. What I'm doing different this time is saying to myself every single morning, 'Today, I'm not going to drink', and that's what's got me past my big record of only 2 days. I have no idea what the future has in store, but 'today, day 5, I'm not going to drink.' Join me...taking it 1 day at a time.
Big Hugs to all of you!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Soberformyson....It is hard to grasp ...AT THIS POINT...for me I will find easier to cope with just today. If I start thinking about the future and 'never again'...well it is just too hard on my head..
I need the mental energy to focus on getting through one day at a time for the moment.
Jim
I need the mental energy to focus on getting through one day at a time for the moment.
Jim
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 123
I think someone said that over time you get "better at quitting" or something along those lines. I think it is true of anything in life. There is a learning curve and this is no different. Did you tie your shoe perfectly the first time you tried it? Look some people quit and do it forever, but I would venture to say MOST(myself included), have tried to quit before and have failed. Its ok if you fall into the MOST group like the majority of us.
Now there is a difference between failure and throwing up your hands and giving up and failure where you try something again. Make coming here a habit. Make anything that you did while drinking, NOT a habit. Try again and commit to it being your last time of failure. If for any reason you do Fail then continue to do the things that work. I think the most productive times of my life over the past 10 were the times that I had quit drinking, even if it was a week, a month, a year. Those few days some of you managed to conquer is a starting point and you certainly can do it again and then some. Who knows maybe it all falls together and you do it for a lifetime?
Now there is a difference between failure and throwing up your hands and giving up and failure where you try something again. Make coming here a habit. Make anything that you did while drinking, NOT a habit. Try again and commit to it being your last time of failure. If for any reason you do Fail then continue to do the things that work. I think the most productive times of my life over the past 10 were the times that I had quit drinking, even if it was a week, a month, a year. Those few days some of you managed to conquer is a starting point and you certainly can do it again and then some. Who knows maybe it all falls together and you do it for a lifetime?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 123
Originally Posted by Dark Asylum 
Feeling like i want to drink ...trying to distract myself ...just need to keep busy
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 289
Me too, Dark Asylum. About 10 times a day (if not more). Keeping busy with something, anything just to get thru today helps. Anything you do is better than picking up that drink. Hang in there!! I'm off to re-pot some plants...and let me tell you, the only way I'll have a green thumb is if I paint it that way. But I need to get my mind off of drinking too. 
You can do this!!
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 9
Day 4
Hi Everyone. This is my first post. I couldn't find the September thread because unlike all the other months, this is under the "New to Recovery" forum rather than the "Daily Support Thread" forum. Can someone message Dee and let her know? I've been looking for this thread since the first day of September! Thankfully I finally found it.
I'm a 30 year old male from Southern California. My first sober day was September 6th. This is day 5. I'm terrified I'm going to slip because I've been down this road before (45 days in 2011, 14 days earlier this year, and 7 days two months ago). This time I really want it to stick. I want this to work for good. I've done a lot of reading on both 12-step and AVRT (Rational Recovery) and am willing to do either, both even, anything that will keep me sober.
Surprisingly my hardest day was last night (Day 4). For some reason the cravings were incredibly strong. So incredibly intense I was almost out the door and to the bar. Instead I forced myself to walk around the block, then come back home and take a shower in the dark, while crying. I never, EVER cry. But I guess my brain is so messed up right now I just let go, unleashed, and didn't even really understand why besides how badly I wanted the cravings and this addiction to go away. I felt so completely helpless and I had no one to talk to. And I feel I'm just too either unmotivated or too socially awkward and shy to pick myself up and drive to my first meeting. I know it will help but I just cant seem to get up and get myself into my car and find a meeting and drive there and then sit awkwardly in the back blah blah blah.
As for withdrawal, day 1 was utter hell, but surprisingly day 2 wasn't all that bad physically. Day 3 didn't have much physical withdrawal but the cravings come back and hit me like a mack truck at 5pm. I feel sideswiped with cravings exactly at 5pm, even if i'm not looking at the time. Naturally this was the time I would start drinking every night. They remain strong and come in 30-60 minute waves of intense craving, and then subside a bit. Luckily by midnight or so I feel like I've made it and they've passed.
Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to stick around this forum and keep you guys updated.
I'm a 30 year old male from Southern California. My first sober day was September 6th. This is day 5. I'm terrified I'm going to slip because I've been down this road before (45 days in 2011, 14 days earlier this year, and 7 days two months ago). This time I really want it to stick. I want this to work for good. I've done a lot of reading on both 12-step and AVRT (Rational Recovery) and am willing to do either, both even, anything that will keep me sober.
Surprisingly my hardest day was last night (Day 4). For some reason the cravings were incredibly strong. So incredibly intense I was almost out the door and to the bar. Instead I forced myself to walk around the block, then come back home and take a shower in the dark, while crying. I never, EVER cry. But I guess my brain is so messed up right now I just let go, unleashed, and didn't even really understand why besides how badly I wanted the cravings and this addiction to go away. I felt so completely helpless and I had no one to talk to. And I feel I'm just too either unmotivated or too socially awkward and shy to pick myself up and drive to my first meeting. I know it will help but I just cant seem to get up and get myself into my car and find a meeting and drive there and then sit awkwardly in the back blah blah blah.
As for withdrawal, day 1 was utter hell, but surprisingly day 2 wasn't all that bad physically. Day 3 didn't have much physical withdrawal but the cravings come back and hit me like a mack truck at 5pm. I feel sideswiped with cravings exactly at 5pm, even if i'm not looking at the time. Naturally this was the time I would start drinking every night. They remain strong and come in 30-60 minute waves of intense craving, and then subside a bit. Luckily by midnight or so I feel like I've made it and they've passed.
Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to stick around this forum and keep you guys updated.
Last edited by ideatrack; 09-10-2012 at 12:27 PM. Reason: wording
Earth Child
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
Not really got any plans ...its the evening here and i normally just hang out on line and listen to music
When i was drinking years ago i use to go out places ...i no longer go out the house much because of social anxiety and when i have drank in the house av sat in front of the pc on forums
I guess i should really go and have a bath as it might help a little but i need to wait for hot water
I dont like watching tv much and there isnt much else for me to do and it kinda getting late for going out for a walk
Am sure if i keep myself busy in the forums or in chat that i will be fine
When i was drinking years ago i use to go out places ...i no longer go out the house much because of social anxiety and when i have drank in the house av sat in front of the pc on forums
I guess i should really go and have a bath as it might help a little but i need to wait for hot water
I dont like watching tv much and there isnt much else for me to do and it kinda getting late for going out for a walk
Am sure if i keep myself busy in the forums or in chat that i will be fine
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,204
Keep talking to us! Tell us something cool or wacky about yourself. Your favorite music, color, animal, anything. What's the weather like? Just don't drink. Righteous coming from me, I know... But hey I am back on the horse after dumping mine!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 289
Welcome to the family ideatrack!! We have something in common, Sept. 6th was my first day too. Way to go for both of us! Take it 1 day at a time. You've got a great group of people here to support & encourage you. Have faith in yourself, you can do this!!
Earth Child
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
Originally Posted by SoberForMySon
Keep talking to us! Tell us something cool or wacky about yourself. Your favorite music, color, animal, anything. What's the weather like? Just don't drink. Righteous coming from me, I know... But hey I am back on the horse after dumping mine!
I don't like video games so much so i don't play them
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