Class Of September 2012 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by ivehadenoughnow 
Yeah me too. I figured that since I wasn't in the gutter that everything was ok and that I'd eventually get around to quitting. People with hangovers rarely go to the park and practice soccer with their sons. People who are addicted to booze hate when there is a child's school event in the evening because it interferes with their buzz. I don't want to be that guy.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 289
Welcome Jambry123 and Evan3! Congrats on making that first step. It's already been said, but going to say it again, a great group of people here! Read & post as often as you need to...know we all understand and support you. School functions? Been there too. Those that I did make it to, I was probably one of the first to leave. Like you said, it was 'my time'. Looking back, I feel so guilty.
I just got invited on a wine tour in October to see the color changes here in Northern Michigan. I had to decline. Too soon. On the one hand, I feel amazing physically, mentally & emotionally being on day 5 (yay!), on the other...I certainly feel like the poop of the party. For the first time in my life, I'd much rather be the poop.
I just got invited on a wine tour in October to see the color changes here in Northern Michigan. I had to decline. Too soon. On the one hand, I feel amazing physically, mentally & emotionally being on day 5 (yay!), on the other...I certainly feel like the poop of the party. For the first time in my life, I'd much rather be the poop.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 123
Originally Posted by Evan3
Man, me either. I am totally with you here. I think of night time as "my time" and forget I have a family. How do you get to that point? Only think I can do is try to do better. Thanks for your post.
I keep thinking back to the thousands of times I was pouring another glass of wine like at 10pm while my wife sits next to me drinking nothing. I often think about what she observed night after night. How embarrassing, and she's my wife too! It's pure madness, that is all I can say, and it has to stop.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 896
Hello everyone, i've been poping in from time to time today to catch up with you all. Seems like everyones doing so well, i'm really proud of this special group and would like to say a huge welcome to the new guys n girls.
I've been battling a bit today, it seems to happen when i'm at work i think because i'm very unhappy in my job for many reasons. Before getting sober i always escaped by going to the pub drinking and smoking after work. I have to say i miss it and my friends, not enough that i want to go back to my old ways, but its early days and i'm sure in another week or so this will be harder to deal with.
I eat Harribo sweets at the moment to help with cravings. I must be one of there best customers.
I've been battling a bit today, it seems to happen when i'm at work i think because i'm very unhappy in my job for many reasons. Before getting sober i always escaped by going to the pub drinking and smoking after work. I have to say i miss it and my friends, not enough that i want to go back to my old ways, but its early days and i'm sure in another week or so this will be harder to deal with.
I eat Harribo sweets at the moment to help with cravings. I must be one of there best customers.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Hey Jim uk....Sober Jim here. I hope today goes well for you. I like the positiveness in your note. Lots of folks struggle with their jobs. Glad your not using it as an excuse to continue drinking.
You are right, does seem like a good group. Lets all get through September together!
Jim
You are right, does seem like a good group. Lets all get through September together!
Jim
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Godalming, Surrey, UK
Posts: 95
Does anyone else feel excited about quitting? I can't stop smiling. I know it's going to be tough but I'm actually really looking forward to the challenge. Booze wiped all the real challenge from my life for too long now.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 76
I'm a little behind you all because it's finally Monday morning here, but I'm standing on the PODIUM, too!! Congratulations to all of us who made it through the weekend, and to everyone who's joining back in!
Had houseguests this weekend, so haven't been on the forum as much as I'd like. Taking the last person to the airport this afternoon, and I'll be glad to get some more reflective time. Luckily, all the socializing wasn't too hard without a drink. I was worried about it, but I found myself so busy that I was able to shift my thinking away from cravings and on to something else.
I suspect I'll have to stay vigilant when the house quiets down and I have time to myself.
Had houseguests this weekend, so haven't been on the forum as much as I'd like. Taking the last person to the airport this afternoon, and I'll be glad to get some more reflective time. Luckily, all the socializing wasn't too hard without a drink. I was worried about it, but I found myself so busy that I was able to shift my thinking away from cravings and on to something else.
I suspect I'll have to stay vigilant when the house quiets down and I have time to myself.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,204
Failed. Couldn't handle the weekday alone. Blah blah blah. The good? I know I can do a sober weekend. I know I need to formulate a better plan. I know I need more help than I thought I did. I KNOW I want to change.
The bad? This is really hard. AA is not too common in my little country town. I have no home support. I feel like a failure and this post was very hard to write.
The bad? This is really hard. AA is not too common in my little country town. I have no home support. I feel like a failure and this post was very hard to write.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 896
jambry123 welcome, yes i feel the excitment about quitting and what the future may hold for me, its great isn't it. I had a few negative thoughts today and new i needed to face them head on. I looked at new business ideas, businesses for sale, i thought i could do that, the feelings of excitement for what could be along with some Harribo drowned out the negative and the smile is back.
Great post, thank you. :-)
Great post, thank you. :-)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 259
SFMS: I'm with you...ashamed and crying for letting down our SR family. I just had a breakdown, felt so damn lonely, and thought 'one last time'. I thank you for being honest because I don't know I could have admitted this without you. I made the freakin podium and now I failed...me, my new life, and my new family at SR. I have huge abandonment issues because everyone always leaves my life so I was scared to admit failure and lose my new family...the only thing that gave me 5 days; more than I've had in a year.
I feel so alone and scared and ashamed for letting you all down - like I don't belong anymore because everyone is doing so well.
SFMS: thank you
I feel so alone and scared and ashamed for letting you all down - like I don't belong anymore because everyone is doing so well.
SFMS: thank you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,204
Deep Breath.... I feel the same way. I lost the best thing in my little sad world... My SR family. I really screwed up today. And I don't see it improving overnight. This is so hard... So so so hard. Never done anything harder.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Massachusetts
Posts: 1,637
Originally Posted by DeepBreath2012
SFMS: I'm with you...ashamed and crying for letting down our SR family. I just had a breakdown, felt so damn lonely, and thought 'one last time'. I thank you for being honest because I don't know I could have admitted this without you. I made the freakin podium and now I failed...me, my new life, and my new family at SR. I have huge abandonment issues because everyone always leaves my life so I was scared to admit failure and lose my new family...the only thing that gave me 5 days; more than I've had in a year.
I feel so alone and scared and ashamed for letting you all down - like I don't belong anymore because everyone is doing so well.
SFMS: thank you
I feel so alone and scared and ashamed for letting you all down - like I don't belong anymore because everyone is doing so well.
SFMS: thank you
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 896
DeepBreath2012, Hang in there friend, i'm sending you and SFMS a huge hug wish i could wipe your tears away, we will always be here, neither of you are alone and never will be if you stay with us. Please don't feel shame you can both do this. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Godalming, Surrey, UK
Posts: 95
You are not a failure
Originally Posted by SoberForMySon
Failed. Couldn't handle the weekday alone. Blah blah blah. The good? I know I can do a sober weekend. I know I need to formulate a better plan. I know I need more help than I thought I did. I KNOW I want to change.
The bad? This is really hard. AA is not too common in my little country town. I have no home support. I feel like a failure and this post was very hard to write.
The bad? This is really hard. AA is not too common in my little country town. I have no home support. I feel like a failure and this post was very hard to write.
Do not feel like a failure!!!! The only time we fail is if we don't try and you are trying!!
Just dust yourself off and (when you're ready) try again!
Jx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 76
DeepBreath, SFMS, WWG--we are all still a family. There is absolutely no shame here. We have ALL been there, whether we were typing on these forums, or just off in our own worlds. Thank you all for continuing to post and staying connected.
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