Class of March 2011 Part 18
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Bridgeton
Posts: 718
Mirage--I am so sorry for the shocking situation. If at all possible, try & get some quiet time to gather your thoughts and ask for help (I don't know how spiritual you are--but you need to ask for strength to pull you through). When things like this happen, it seems so surreal. Life throws us some serious curve balls at times and I'm sure all of us here will be here to help you catch them. My thoughts & prayers are with you my friend.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Oh no, Mirage...I am SO sorry! I can't imagine what you must be going through. You have all my thoughts and prayers. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.
I am hoping the best for you and your children, even as I write. Ugh....damn!
I am hoping the best for you and your children, even as I write. Ugh....damn!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 185
(((((Mirage)))))
I gasped in utter shock reading your post, cannot even imagine how much you are reeling! I pray that you have been misinformed.
Storming Heaven for you, prayers for all your needs and God's Highest Will for you, your family and your marriage!
Love,
Rosie
I gasped in utter shock reading your post, cannot even imagine how much you are reeling! I pray that you have been misinformed.
Storming Heaven for you, prayers for all your needs and God's Highest Will for you, your family and your marriage!
Love,
Rosie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
I wish I were misinformed. He called me to ask if it was raining up here and I told him who called. He had to admit it. And I'm not being dramatic when I say he was living a life behind my back. It's more than a simple affair. I was just about to write how things were better with us lately, too. Wow, so much of it was lies, I had no idea. I left the house so he could get some things to stay at a friend's. I don't know where to go from here. Do I let him come back and sleep downstairs till he finds a place? Do I not? I'm so confused. I just never dreamed this would happen. It's so bizarre. Thank you all for being here. You're so needed.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
No one can answer for you Mirage. But, I hope you will fill your folks and family (sibs) in for immediate support, and discuss with your husband how to approach the children. I also hope you will consult the best attorney you can find. If there is hope and desire for reconciliation on both your parts, you'll obviously want to find the best counselor available as well. I know this hurts, but you have to also have a clear head about it, or at least someone you trust needs to. I have feared this day in my own marriage, and hope it never comes. But, it happens far too often.
Peace, prayers, and be thankful you are sober; for yourself, and for your kids.
Peace, prayers, and be thankful you are sober; for yourself, and for your kids.
Editor
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pensacola, Florida
Posts: 1,516
mirage...I dont even know what to say....There is not a smile in my heart today...as for what you should do...whatever is best for you and the boys is the best idea I have seen. I am so sad.....If there is anything that I can do???? I am here. As we all are. There is some good advice on here from our family....You need to find a quite place and make plans when your head stops spinning. I pray that you and the boys find Peace.
Peace
Dave
Peace
Dave
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm glad you're back Dave - I hope you can find healthy ways to deal with all this stuff that's been consuming you for a while.
I hope you can find some solutions too bryan
I don't really know what to say mirage but that I'm sorry and there's been great advice here.
We're all in your corner
D
I hope you can find some solutions too bryan
I don't really know what to say mirage but that I'm sorry and there's been great advice here.
We're all in your corner
D
orangutan
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,970
Mirage I just don't know what to say. I am so sorry, I wish I was closer and able to do something helpfull . Your post knocked the wind right out of me. Take care my friend.
Dave so glad you made it back here, depression is one of my biggest struggles in staying sober. There is no need to be embarressed around us .
Lofty this is just my opinion and I hope you don't take it the wrong way ,I would say your father is set in his ways by now and your not going to change that so maybe you will need to tell yourself you can't change him, it's who he is , it's not your fault and try to leave it be.
Huggs for all Marchers today, love you all.
Dave so glad you made it back here, depression is one of my biggest struggles in staying sober. There is no need to be embarressed around us .
Lofty this is just my opinion and I hope you don't take it the wrong way ,I would say your father is set in his ways by now and your not going to change that so maybe you will need to tell yourself you can't change him, it's who he is , it's not your fault and try to leave it be.
Huggs for all Marchers today, love you all.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
I agree, Aussie. Set in his ways is an understatement, actually! I may sound like I want to change him, but I really just want him to accept me. I'm over it now, and have accepted that will not likely happen. That's okay, and a relief to me. After this weekend, I can go on without needing to be validated by him. My wife and I have spent a couple hours discussing the weekend and it led to some great conversation. We actually let each other finish our thoughts and sentences!
Peace and prayers for all!
Peace and prayers for all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
I can see your new perspective Lofty and it looks good on you! My experience is that when I have tried every way I know how, and I finally let things be, that is IS a relief.
Woke up thinking about your Mirage. Sending peaceful wishes to you this morning.
Off to gym!
Woke up thinking about your Mirage. Sending peaceful wishes to you this morning.
Off to gym!
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Thank you, Frances! I do feel a bit better. But, I, too, am worried about Mirage. Prayers sent.
Its nice out today, but a stormy morning inside. Kids woke up late. I woke at 4:30 but got back to sleep at 5 and slept in til 7:15, which didn't help to get the late kids fed, lunched and off. Wife is in a tizzy. And the dog ate part of the kids lunch from the counter. If it were on I Love Lucy, I'd laugh, but its not.
I got my new self-help book. Self-discipline in 10 days. It got great reviews and I like it so far. So, we'll see whether its a good investment of time or money, or I'm one of those suckers PT Barnum said was "born every minute".
Skipped the bike ride today to get ready for a big appt this afternoon. I've got to get ahold of my pipeline and help some folks so I can earn a living!
Peace to all.
Its nice out today, but a stormy morning inside. Kids woke up late. I woke at 4:30 but got back to sleep at 5 and slept in til 7:15, which didn't help to get the late kids fed, lunched and off. Wife is in a tizzy. And the dog ate part of the kids lunch from the counter. If it were on I Love Lucy, I'd laugh, but its not.
I got my new self-help book. Self-discipline in 10 days. It got great reviews and I like it so far. So, we'll see whether its a good investment of time or money, or I'm one of those suckers PT Barnum said was "born every minute".
Skipped the bike ride today to get ready for a big appt this afternoon. I've got to get ahold of my pipeline and help some folks so I can earn a living!
Peace to all.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Hi guys, thanks for the thoughts. I'd like to say I'm doing ok, but I think some of the shock has worn off. I'm sick to my stomach still. Can't eat and my stomach is jacked. Been drinking pepto, but not really helping. I managed to nap on and off on the couch for a total of a couple hours. I look like a train hit me, good grief. I don't know if I'll muster energy, I haven't eaten but one yogurt since Monday night. I'm not trying to throw a pity party, I'll be ok. Just right now I'm hurting physically, too. I don't know when to say something to the kids. I may email my mom right now. I think part of what's eating me up is the anticipation with telling all of them.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Thanks so much you guys. I don't have a lot of face to face good friends, so you really do help me. I sent the email and felt a little better immediately. I managed a shower (I HATE not showering) and I got a yogurt down and I'm washing the bedding. Don't ask, I just have to. And guess what, Lofty?? I lost 4 lbs yesterday! haha THERE'S a diet for ya! I know I'm dehydrated. You're right, frances..water! I'm doing a lot of it. I need to get past this initial hard part. Seeing D, telling the kids..I just want to get that behind me and move forward. Does that sound too fast? I dunno, but this floating in this space is killing me. I don't even have my ring on. It hurts to look at it. I love you guys, too. Thank you SO much for taking the time and your energy to care about me. I really need it and really appreciate it. This really sucks.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Good steps, good direction.
The right speed will be what is best for you. This is so hard so be kind to yourself.
Water, food, gentleness.
My experience is that telling people bad news is the worst part and then things start to unfold and the next right step appears.
One step at a time.
The right speed will be what is best for you. This is so hard so be kind to yourself.
Water, food, gentleness.
My experience is that telling people bad news is the worst part and then things start to unfold and the next right step appears.
One step at a time.
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