Class of May 2012 part 10
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
jeni: you deserve to be happy. in any form that takes. if it's a new job, go for it. one time i was in a similar situation, and my best friend and co-worker (but not my boss) said, "birdie's gotta fly!" your friend/boss will understand when the impact is thought through and absorbed, especially if it's a true friend. sure here ya about the wine as reflexive coping. nice job not getting any!
soleil: killer check-in. sorry you are so frazzled, but glad you are getting through it sober! HALT is a powerful tool, it really helps put things in perspective. even when you can't change the H or the A or the L or the T for that matter, it at least forces us to take a break and think about what is making us want that booze. if you will be in a lot of social situations where drinking is condoned or expected, do you have some "excuses" not to drink? There's always the go-to "allergy" comment, i'm kind of partial to "alcohol makes my butt look big." Good Luck!
saks (i want to call you "sassy" for some reason, trust me it's meant as a compliment!): you are doing your best to manage your stress, pain, everything. You will succeed.
FP: sending healthy thoughts your way
rock: good luck with your next 3 nights. your screen name could have the tagline, "rock solid."
my checkin: hmmm. this is day 99, yep checked the calendar, 99 it is! as a tool of optimism i counted the days on the calendar through the end of 2012. really stoked to have 100 days tomorrow, i've only done this a couple of times in my life since suspecting a problem with alcohol. today, there's been a little cloud over it though.
think i figured out why. first, it's all well and good and inspirational to count days. but bottom line is i need to keep this up, well, for the rest of my life if i want to stay healthy and sane. that's a bit overwhelming.
second, i just realized that friday is the anniversary of my mom's death. it happened in 1985, so it's hardly a fresh grief. every year is a little different. some years, i don't even realize until a few days later. most years my brother and i toast her (no booze, that's been the rule for years) and smile in her honor. she was a very kind, loving lady. for some reason, this year it's making me sad and a little anxious. she was 43. i'm 40 now. she died of addiction. i found her. yep, i'm 40 years old and i miss my mom...
soleil: killer check-in. sorry you are so frazzled, but glad you are getting through it sober! HALT is a powerful tool, it really helps put things in perspective. even when you can't change the H or the A or the L or the T for that matter, it at least forces us to take a break and think about what is making us want that booze. if you will be in a lot of social situations where drinking is condoned or expected, do you have some "excuses" not to drink? There's always the go-to "allergy" comment, i'm kind of partial to "alcohol makes my butt look big." Good Luck!
saks (i want to call you "sassy" for some reason, trust me it's meant as a compliment!): you are doing your best to manage your stress, pain, everything. You will succeed.
FP: sending healthy thoughts your way
rock: good luck with your next 3 nights. your screen name could have the tagline, "rock solid."
my checkin: hmmm. this is day 99, yep checked the calendar, 99 it is! as a tool of optimism i counted the days on the calendar through the end of 2012. really stoked to have 100 days tomorrow, i've only done this a couple of times in my life since suspecting a problem with alcohol. today, there's been a little cloud over it though.
think i figured out why. first, it's all well and good and inspirational to count days. but bottom line is i need to keep this up, well, for the rest of my life if i want to stay healthy and sane. that's a bit overwhelming.
second, i just realized that friday is the anniversary of my mom's death. it happened in 1985, so it's hardly a fresh grief. every year is a little different. some years, i don't even realize until a few days later. most years my brother and i toast her (no booze, that's been the rule for years) and smile in her honor. she was a very kind, loving lady. for some reason, this year it's making me sad and a little anxious. she was 43. i'm 40 now. she died of addiction. i found her. yep, i'm 40 years old and i miss my mom...
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Join Date: May 2012
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WeHav, that's very sad about your mom. Since she died from addiction, it's not surprising that the anniversary of her death bothers you! Possibly scary?
I understand that counting days has an upside and a downside. It can be a reminder of how far we have come and how far left to go. Try to think of it all as the present moment and see if that might help.
Take special care, and especially take care of yourself. Anniversaries of any kind related to alcohol can be very difficult but are not impossible.
I understand that counting days has an upside and a downside. It can be a reminder of how far we have come and how far left to go. Try to think of it all as the present moment and see if that might help.
Take special care, and especially take care of yourself. Anniversaries of any kind related to alcohol can be very difficult but are not impossible.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Originally Posted by auden67 
Saskia, Jeni, I've really worked on developing my self-kindness skills. Sometimes, to be kind to myself, I make selfish decisions. OR as I like to call it, self full. 
it's important!
it's important!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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However many years ago, I'm sorry for your loss wehav....I think it's natural for a lot of people to miss their mom whatever age they are.
I think she'd be proud of you tho - 99 days is awesome
D
I think she'd be proud of you tho - 99 days is awesome
D
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Wehav,
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I cannot imagine losing my mom at an early age and finding her. I do believe there is something beyond this life and she must be very proud you will be 101 days sober on the anniversary of her passing.
I am not one to count days...my buddy FrenchPink does that for me
I know in the beginning it really helped me. I think as we get more sober time we will move on to monthly or yearly anniversaries. I know I plan on never drinking again so no real reason to count...but it certainly is nice and feels especially good to celebrate 100 days!
And about my screen name, I certainly was not "rock solid" when I joined. I was so lost. This site saved my life.
Take care my friend.
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I cannot imagine losing my mom at an early age and finding her. I do believe there is something beyond this life and she must be very proud you will be 101 days sober on the anniversary of her passing.
I am not one to count days...my buddy FrenchPink does that for me
I know in the beginning it really helped me. I think as we get more sober time we will move on to monthly or yearly anniversaries. I know I plan on never drinking again so no real reason to count...but it certainly is nice and feels especially good to celebrate 100 days!
And about my screen name, I certainly was not "rock solid" when I joined. I was so lost. This site saved my life.
Take care my friend.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Wehave2day,
I am so sorry about the loss of your mom. I echo everbody's else's comments. Your mom must be looking down and beaming with pride. 99 days! What a huge accomplishment.
HitRockbottom - Congratulations on 100 days
Your dedication and commitment to sobriety is inspiring.
Auden - Great advice on self-kindness. I know it is something I need to work on. Old habits die hard. I have to constantly catch myself and ask myself why I say such terrible things about myself.
FindingSoleil - I can relate totally to your post. I can only take "being on" for so long. It's imperative to me to have down time to relax. It's just so nice to know that someone else feels the same way. I can't just go to an AA meeting and then go to bed. I need time to decompress and try and relax before I go to bed.
Wishing everyone a good evening
I am so sorry about the loss of your mom. I echo everbody's else's comments. Your mom must be looking down and beaming with pride. 99 days! What a huge accomplishment.
HitRockbottom - Congratulations on 100 days
Your dedication and commitment to sobriety is inspiring.Auden - Great advice on self-kindness. I know it is something I need to work on. Old habits die hard. I have to constantly catch myself and ask myself why I say such terrible things about myself.
FindingSoleil - I can relate totally to your post. I can only take "being on" for so long. It's imperative to me to have down time to relax. It's just so nice to know that someone else feels the same way. I can't just go to an AA meeting and then go to bed. I need time to decompress and try and relax before I go to bed.
Wishing everyone a good evening
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Happy Wednesday eve, my lovely boaters! Day 116 for this Pooped Pach. Two full days into work, and I can relate to Jeni’s feeling of being worn out already. Rewarding and productive work day, though, as I was able to help many people.
Auden67: Welcome to our wonderful May class! So happy you found us. You have just joined one of the absolute best threads on SR. Plenty of loving support here. “…self full” Love this! Hugs to you.
You-Rock: Thank you for being such a loving and steady force for our classmates and for me. You are a phenomenal friend. Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from appreciating you, mate. “I know there is no way I could have done this without you all.” Thumbs up. Go easy on yourself for your upcoming 3-fer at work.
Jeni: “…I still really believe the other job would be better for me.” You know in your heart and head that the new job is the right choice, as you’ve already made the decision after careful thought. Your close friend’s tears may also be a result of fear of change in your leaving, thinking that your friendship will somehow be impacted negatively. Perhaps there is some way for you to comfort her through this transition, and then again, perhaps not. She may be going through other personal issues unknown to you and unrelated to your leaving the job. Some possible “ifs” involving your friend, but this is your time now for you. We’ve got your back, girlfriend. Best wishes on this and big hugs!
(((Soleil))): “…I’m feeling very confident and trust-worthy… in my sobriety. Just wish it felt better.” So proud of you for staying sober while under so much work stress and in the potential social stress. I do hope you’re able to find plenty of quiet time for yourself while away in NYC. Just the cross-coast trip to get there and back is wearing, I remember it well. Hoping you’re able to keep in touch with us while you’re away so we can keep your spirits up. Much love and strength from me to you.
(((Saskia))): Huge Mammoth hugs of love to you. I am sorry that you’re going through physical pain and the emotional pain of health uncertainties. That kind of stress would most definitely take its toll on anyone’s sober resolve. I wish you the best of health, and a clear path to solid sobriety when you’re ready. Thank you for your kind thoughts on my return to work.
A side note on modes of posted/PMed support: I believe every one of us has a different and personal way of expressing care and concern to our classmates. Tough love is a form of true love, just as gentle handling is equally loving. None of us can know which methods will influence a classmate’s sensibilities and appeal to sober reason without trial and error. It is only when a classmate on the receiving end responds positively, negatively, or otherwise, can the originator attempt to interpret and accommodate the recipient’s preference. Meaning, some of us respond well to a caring, but stern directive (tough love), such as myself and I’m thinking of a particularly bionic boater. Others, however, appreciate a kinder and gentler touch to get back on track, or somewhere in between. Loving support delivered honestly and respectfully, regardless of the inferred edge or softness, is still awesome freakin’ support. All will reveal itself in time as we continue to understand each others’ tolerances and preferences a little better.
YMCA Cowpoke: How are you doing, my friend? What’s new out in the desert of Sneaky Sidewinders? Dawg Paddler, throw us a bone! Glad to see that you’re sticking with us and still posting every day. I have faith in you. Stay close to us, poem mate. You’re in my thoughts.
Tanja: I do hope you’re feeling better now, classmate. You’ve been through some awfully hard times with all of that pain and insomnia. Wonderful job in your sober resolve. Terrific to see you posting more with us, too. Much love to you!
(((WeHav))): Big hugs to you for remembering your mom in a special way with your siblings. I’m sorry that this is a difficult anniversary, but what an incredible way to honor her memory with your continued sobriety. Thank you for your kind thoughts on my health. Wow at your 99 sober days! Awesome job on the sober front. You know this Mammoth has a special elephant already picked out for your milestone celebration.
KittyCat: So happy you found some comfort in my words. A very kind fellow Pach gave me a similar reality check on finding a mate many, many years ago just before I found my spouse. Be good to yourself, girlfriend, and take your time to enjoy learning more about who you are. Hugs to you!
Dee: “I always try to find balance now....try and make that time to relax…” Right on, Dee. Thank you for that reminder.
Emily: How are you doing today, May mate? Missed your post today. I know you’re busy. Thinking of you and sending you big hugs of love.
Thursday? Uninvited? Lee? SoberJane? Super-Crew? Candi? TedPlante? Where did you go? Get back in here! We miss you!
Another 5am day tomorrow. When does this, how you say, “morning” thing get easier? Not complaining…too much. Cranky from an upside-down sleep sched. Pay day next week, woo hoo! Past my bed time, May mates. Thank you all for being here. Love and hugs to all.
Auden67: Welcome to our wonderful May class! So happy you found us. You have just joined one of the absolute best threads on SR. Plenty of loving support here. “…self full” Love this! Hugs to you.
You-Rock: Thank you for being such a loving and steady force for our classmates and for me. You are a phenomenal friend. Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from appreciating you, mate.
“I know there is no way I could have done this without you all.” Thumbs up. Go easy on yourself for your upcoming 3-fer at work.Jeni: “…I still really believe the other job would be better for me.” You know in your heart and head that the new job is the right choice, as you’ve already made the decision after careful thought. Your close friend’s tears may also be a result of fear of change in your leaving, thinking that your friendship will somehow be impacted negatively. Perhaps there is some way for you to comfort her through this transition, and then again, perhaps not. She may be going through other personal issues unknown to you and unrelated to your leaving the job. Some possible “ifs” involving your friend, but this is your time now for you. We’ve got your back, girlfriend. Best wishes on this and big hugs!
(((Soleil))): “…I’m feeling very confident and trust-worthy… in my sobriety. Just wish it felt better.” So proud of you for staying sober while under so much work stress and in the potential social stress. I do hope you’re able to find plenty of quiet time for yourself while away in NYC. Just the cross-coast trip to get there and back is wearing, I remember it well. Hoping you’re able to keep in touch with us while you’re away so we can keep your spirits up. Much love and strength from me to you.
(((Saskia))): Huge Mammoth hugs of love to you. I am sorry that you’re going through physical pain and the emotional pain of health uncertainties. That kind of stress would most definitely take its toll on anyone’s sober resolve. I wish you the best of health, and a clear path to solid sobriety when you’re ready. Thank you for your kind thoughts on my return to work.
A side note on modes of posted/PMed support: I believe every one of us has a different and personal way of expressing care and concern to our classmates. Tough love is a form of true love, just as gentle handling is equally loving. None of us can know which methods will influence a classmate’s sensibilities and appeal to sober reason without trial and error. It is only when a classmate on the receiving end responds positively, negatively, or otherwise, can the originator attempt to interpret and accommodate the recipient’s preference. Meaning, some of us respond well to a caring, but stern directive (tough love), such as myself and I’m thinking of a particularly bionic boater. Others, however, appreciate a kinder and gentler touch to get back on track, or somewhere in between. Loving support delivered honestly and respectfully, regardless of the inferred edge or softness, is still awesome freakin’ support. All will reveal itself in time as we continue to understand each others’ tolerances and preferences a little better.
YMCA Cowpoke: How are you doing, my friend? What’s new out in the desert of Sneaky Sidewinders? Dawg Paddler, throw us a bone! Glad to see that you’re sticking with us and still posting every day. I have faith in you. Stay close to us, poem mate. You’re in my thoughts.
Tanja: I do hope you’re feeling better now, classmate. You’ve been through some awfully hard times with all of that pain and insomnia. Wonderful job in your sober resolve. Terrific to see you posting more with us, too. Much love to you!
(((WeHav))): Big hugs to you for remembering your mom in a special way with your siblings. I’m sorry that this is a difficult anniversary, but what an incredible way to honor her memory with your continued sobriety. Thank you for your kind thoughts on my health. Wow at your 99 sober days! Awesome job on the sober front. You know this Mammoth has a special elephant already picked out for your milestone celebration.
KittyCat: So happy you found some comfort in my words. A very kind fellow Pach gave me a similar reality check on finding a mate many, many years ago just before I found my spouse. Be good to yourself, girlfriend, and take your time to enjoy learning more about who you are. Hugs to you!
Dee: “I always try to find balance now....try and make that time to relax…” Right on, Dee. Thank you for that reminder.
Emily: How are you doing today, May mate? Missed your post today. I know you’re busy. Thinking of you and sending you big hugs of love.
Thursday? Uninvited? Lee? SoberJane? Super-Crew? Candi? TedPlante? Where did you go? Get back in here! We miss you!
Another 5am day tomorrow. When does this, how you say, “morning” thing get easier? Not complaining…too much. Cranky from an upside-down sleep sched. Pay day next week, woo hoo! Past my bed time, May mates. Thank you all for being here. Love and hugs to all.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
You guys are awesome. Thank you so much for the support, i'm really needing it at the moment for some reason.
Love, hugs, and support to all of you. May you all wake up (or go to sleep, depending on your respective locations :-) happy, healthy, booze free (remember, it makes our butts look big) and pain-free as possible!
Love, hugs, and support to all of you. May you all wake up (or go to sleep, depending on your respective locations :-) happy, healthy, booze free (remember, it makes our butts look big) and pain-free as possible!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
FP,
Congrats on day 116! I am glad you have had two rewarding days of work. Sorry you are having trouble with the new schedule, but that paycheck next week should make it all worth it. Thanks for your unwavering support of all our classmates. We all try, but nobody does it quite like you. I am so thankful to call you friend.
Congrats on day 116! I am glad you have had two rewarding days of work. Sorry you are having trouble with the new schedule, but that paycheck next week should make it all worth it. Thanks for your unwavering support of all our classmates. We all try, but nobody does it quite like you. I am so thankful to call you friend.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
YMCA Cowpoke? Good lordy Pachyderm, with what strange substance have they been lacing those nuts down at the new circus?
Actually, that's pretty accurate. Went to a yoga class last night. I can't quite get the cowboy boot behind the head yet, but it felt like a good addition to the swimming. Though, strangely, the whole time I was doing yoga I kept thinking how good a PBR would be when I was done. I used to love getting out of yoga class (a few years ago) and going for pizza and a few beers. That feeling of reward for being healthy. And actually in those days the drinking was pretty well balanced. I do find myself longing for that from time to time -- but I guess those days are gone for good. Wistful.
Anyhow, just sitting on the patio, quiet evening, reading.
Actually, that's pretty accurate. Went to a yoga class last night. I can't quite get the cowboy boot behind the head yet, but it felt like a good addition to the swimming. Though, strangely, the whole time I was doing yoga I kept thinking how good a PBR would be when I was done. I used to love getting out of yoga class (a few years ago) and going for pizza and a few beers. That feeling of reward for being healthy. And actually in those days the drinking was pretty well balanced. I do find myself longing for that from time to time -- but I guess those days are gone for good. Wistful.
Anyhow, just sitting on the patio, quiet evening, reading.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Oh how I love waking up in the morning to read all these wonderful messages of care and concern for each other. This thread had become a total lifeline for me. Thankyou all xxx
Congratulations to wehav on 100 days!!! You are brilliant! I can relate to your post about you missing your Mum, the number of years that have passed are irrelevant somehow. I'm sending you huge hugs today xxx
Off for another busy day shortly. I had a few texts from my friend last night which saddened me. I skipped my AA meeting and had an early night. Hiding from the world under a duvet seemed preferable to hitting a vodka bottle! Best foot forward and all that today....
Deserto, I'm intrigued by the thought of a cowboy doing yoga. Please take off those spurs at least. You could really do yourself some damage!!
Have a safe sober thursday everyone. Loads of love to you all xxx
Congratulations to wehav on 100 days!!! You are brilliant! I can relate to your post about you missing your Mum, the number of years that have passed are irrelevant somehow. I'm sending you huge hugs today xxx
Off for another busy day shortly. I had a few texts from my friend last night which saddened me. I skipped my AA meeting and had an early night. Hiding from the world under a duvet seemed preferable to hitting a vodka bottle! Best foot forward and all that today....
Deserto, I'm intrigued by the thought of a cowboy doing yoga. Please take off those spurs at least. You could really do yourself some damage!!
Have a safe sober thursday everyone. Loads of love to you all xxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
FP - Congratulations on 116 days
Yesterday was a rough day for me. Physically I felt terrible all day long and again couldn't make it to an AA meeting. I started crying last night because the pain is wearing me out. Again, I got up too early because of intestinal issues and dogs making noises. I started crying again because I want so desperately to be sober and to fieel physically better. Every day I force myself to make a grattitude list. I haven't started that today. I am just so sick and tired of being sick and tired and I am not drinking. I need all the support that I can get today. Thank you for listening.
Yesterday was a rough day for me. Physically I felt terrible all day long and again couldn't make it to an AA meeting. I started crying last night because the pain is wearing me out. Again, I got up too early because of intestinal issues and dogs making noises. I started crying again because I want so desperately to be sober and to fieel physically better. Every day I force myself to make a grattitude list. I haven't started that today. I am just so sick and tired of being sick and tired and I am not drinking. I need all the support that I can get today. Thank you for listening.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Tanja, just a quick note, as I'm on my lunch break.
I'm sending you a big hug xxx. Do you need to talk honestly with your doctor? You shouldn't have to suffer for this length of time.
What a horrible time for you. Lots of love and strength being sent your way xxx
I'm sending you a big hug xxx. Do you need to talk honestly with your doctor? You shouldn't have to suffer for this length of time.
What a horrible time for you. Lots of love and strength being sent your way xxx
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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and we'll have to leave this part of the thread there because I'm going to bed
we continue here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-11-a.html
D
we continue here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-11-a.html
D
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