Really4Real

Emma... no such thing as 'relying too much' on others right now.... rely - away Just don't go out and use or drink.... it's soooooooooo NOT worth the pain. You're free.... stay free.

MTNS.... You rock also

Blue and Marj.... I'm pretty much following my own plan.... looking at all the options and am thinking that there just may be a book brewing in me - pulling everything together. Just a very interesting concept right now....

MyT

Listen guys... in the end, we have to do this for ourselves. I want to be a better person - I want to help others out of the holes they've dug for themselves or that circumstances have dug for them. But I have to get me ok.... or I have nothing to give. That would be a sad existence.
Prayer last night was good again.... dealt a bit with abandonment and acceptance. Still have some things to work out from it, but some healing transpired. Tonight is therapy.... Looking forward to it.

Oh, and working on getting my body back in shape. Lost 9 pounds since July 6!

Emma, the days you can't go to a meeting, maybe you can read the Big Book or there's one called the Little Red Book that I started to finish up my Step 1. Read anything that has to do with recovery.... it helps.

Blessings to all of you today!

NoFireWater

Emma, hang in there-you can do it!!

TIG this nailed it for me " I just have to keep remembering and not forget what alcohol really means for me and not relate it to the fancy fun times in the commercials or what maybe friends can do who are not susceptible to abusing"

That thought has been keeping me going. Remembering the reality of booze, not my AV's fake perception of how fun drinking is and how relaxing,etc. It really isn't fun, or relaxing for very long. Trying to think through the media blitz and friends' pressure to what it does to me physically and mentally every time. I'll never be a social drinker and that's what I have to remind myself of constantly.

Marjoram, So sorry to hear about your friend. I hope he will be okay!

It's official-I just hit 30 days thanks to all of you. No really, THANKS to all of you I'm liking this feeling that things are possible instead of impossible!

sarah1414

NFW, Congrats on 30 days! That's wonderful.

R4R, 9 lbs? Wow! That's great, girl! Keep up the good work. We really do HAVE to do this for ourselves. In another post I said my husband promised to hold me accountable and say no to me if I wanted wine. Well, he didn't keep that promise over the weekend (and he didn't even drink). He's just so tired of me saying the same thing over and over. I now know (just like many of you told me) I've got to say no for myself only. No one else can be the strength that I need to work through this. It's got to be me and my God.

We're glad you're back, MTN!

Margoram, have a great day!

TIG, Well done and best wishes with your traveling.

Emma, You are doing so well. Stay the course.

Hello, Blueshades, Mtnseer, katan, obladi, lifew/obooze, our beloved Dee, and anyone I missed.

Off to a busy day with the kids. Have a great Tuesday!

Really4Real

Well, Sarah, if you're anything like me and my h would've told me no.... the dander on the back of my neck would've risen up and I would've found a way to get out of the house to get some. Or I'd just tell him that I have to do this.... back then, I did. My allergy to alcohol turned into an illness of the mind.

NFW.... Great job on the BIT 3-0!!!

Alcohol is poison. The Little Red Book says so in black and white.... so would I go drink some Drain-O - NO FREAKING WAY. My desire is to never drink again. After that first drink, I am powerless over alcohol. It affects every area of my life. I'm not an alcoholic... I'm not living that lifestyle, I'm a recoverying alcoholic. There is no 'cure', but recovery is totally possible!! I desire to fully squeeze everything I can from the Steps.... they are just a really good way to live life.... period. Alcoholism is no longer my Master, but I can never drink again. Alcohol has poisoned my liver, kidneys, heart, brain, nervous system, pancreas, stomach, intestines, gall bladder, colon... my body is worth more than that. Alcohol is slow suicide.... because I was killing myself slowly. AND I must always keep in the back of my mind where I came from.

That's what I wrote in my Recovering Alcoholic journal.

justhadenough

Wow-so much activity-it’s great to see!

Marjoram-sorry to hear about your friend, sending thoughts and prayers your way. I’m glad this gave you an opportunity to broach the subject with your husband. Do you feel better?The AVRT is very good-I found it very helpful

Obladi-you are right,you just know when you’ve made the right decision,as you say. Yousoundpositive-I hope your news is good.

Emma-that is what we are here for.you can never rely on us too much. please don’t ever fear coming on here

Blueshades-I know you are right-days are just days aren’t they.congrats on day 20 and good to hear you are feeling better and positive

Welcome back Maxine-it’s great to hear from you and good on you for seeing yourdoc.

R4R-well done on 9 pounds!

NFW-congrats on 30 days!

Sarah-it’s good to hear of your realizations. Stay strong.

justhadenough

Me too!

Love this post

Marjoram

Looks like some good posts today. I really like that every one is on the same page....even if it's in a different book.

I believe I'm on my way to making it through another day. Have lots planned tonight - making stuffed green pepper casserole, garden salad, and some garlic baguette bread. Going to make a couple loaves of zuke bread afterwards for freezer storage for the winter. Maybe process some Acorn squash...oh, and work, too.

Still no word on our friend. I'm anxious to find out how he's doing.

NFW - 30 days - congrats!!!! I'm very happy for you, as we all are!

The desire for alcohol is surely still there. The thought of it on the way home today just about made my mouth water - but I told myself "absolutely not!". Not looking forward to the headaches again....but it's a given. All part of it. That's what I get for years of abuse to my body.

Well, it will be another late night, but that's okay. I love the sound of the crickets - they have been awesome this year with all the heat.

Hugs to all!

Dee74

Congrats on 30 days NFW

D

Obladi

Hey hey hey, it was quite the day! So good to read up on everyone and see where it's at. Sending a chip to NFW... virtual, but it's plated with gold so that should count for something!

Still reeling a bit/processing a lot from this big reveal of mine, but moving forward feeling much better overall. I bought the RR book the other night and started reading straightaway. But keep falling asleep! I'm seriously trying to figure out how to put myself on retreat, but not sure how I could swing that... So, I will keep plugging away as I can.

Really4Real

Just here to say goodnight.... have a good one everybody.... whether it's today or tomorrow (which for some is actually your today).... uhhhh or something like that

Marjoram

I have figured out one of the main triggers of my drinking. My husband coming home and complaining about his job. Don't get me wrong. He's a great husband, a great friend, and a great guy. But, I cannot stand the complaining....always something. Instead of being grateful for being 2 miles from work (for over 24 years), decent pay (will never be rich, but that's okay by me), 25 vacation days (which right now are hard to use because they are so short on guys), 12 sick days, and as of right now a pension...yes a pension. People are without work, losing everything, and the complaining. I clean people's houses - wiping down their stained toilets, cleaning up their body hair, etc. I work for a shop that is always struggling doing their A/P and purchasing. These are not the jobs I dreamed of. But, I can sit back and look at it and be grateful that it gives the flexibility in my life to allow for walks with my dogs, time with my Mom and Dad, time with my hubby, time with friends.

It just happened tonight, and I wanted to scream. But, I got through it and I sit here with my coffee in hand. It was a hard one. Especially since I know he had a few beers tonight.

I know this is my gig, if he rides along it's a bonus. But, I can't expect him to and I can't let what he does affect my choice.

Ugh..... Time to get some work done.

Marjoram

Obladi - I'm assuming you purchased the Rational Recovery book from their website? I'm buying it tonight. Let me know how you like it.

flachead

MTN - welcome back, thanks for sharing your story!

sarah1414

Love your grateful attitude, Marjoram. That would be a tough one with husband complaining and continuing to drink but you're so right; we have to ride this one for ourselves. I hope your hubby sees great changes in you and might want to join you in sober living. Have a great night.

Had a wonderful run tonight and I signed up for race which will take place next weekend. That keeps me motivated to stay away from the wine and be as healthy as I can (along with many other reasons, of course.)

Good night all.

lifewithoutbooz

I've been waiting YEARS for my husband to join me on this journey but it only happened once 6 years ago - it lasted six months. Best six months of the marriage (although most of it's been pretty darn good).

I think I kept blaming him for my/our failure to quit drinking - blaming him for holding me back. I finally feel like I can do this without him - and like you said Marjoram, if he comes along for the ride it's a bonus. God bless him though - he's held up his side of the deal to have no booze in the house this week. So far so good.

And thanks to all who've mentioned AVRT recently. I didn't really know much about it but have looked into and find it very intriguing. Looking forward to learning more. Thank you!

blueshades

Emma, I know that you can hang in there and beat this. Remember, you are worth the effort to live a better life!

MyTimeNow - You're not letting us down by not posting, but I think that we all gain when you share your stories and your struggles. We're all here for each other.

Marjoram - The old reverse psychology can work sometimes. I like to use positive thinking to reinforce good habits. Like telling myself that I can't wait to work out even when I'm tired. I find that I can actually fool myself until I reach a point that I really believe what I've been telling myself! That technique and sheer force of will is what helped me kick the smoking habit cold turkey back in January. This is how I know I can win against alcohol! I'm definitely a fan of personal responsibility when it comes to managing bad habits and even breaking addictions. SR and AVRT seem like a logical combination for me as well. BTW, it looks like you're something of a "foodie." My DW and I are getting the bug this summer. Gardening is one of my new passions that's helping crowd out booze in my life. It's a good way to go!

TIG - I found that reading up on PAWS gave me that extra edge of knowing what to look for in recovery. Knowing that these symptoms are what drive a lot of people back into the vortex helps me to strengthen my will. I hate to lose, and I won't lose to booze.

R4R - Obviously, I'm a devotee of the "craft your own plan" approach. WTG on your weight loss. That's awesome! Alcohol is a slow suicide for sure, or as one composer called it "a theme, with no variations."

TIG and NFW - I wonder how much the big breweries spend on those wonderful beer ads. Millions for big games like the Super Bowl alone! I'm with you guys in that they're full of pipe dreams. I am beginning to feel so free not drinking. It's a wonderful thing. WTG on 30 days, NFW!

Sarah - I like the idea that I'm quitting for my DW and others that I care about, but it is ultimately a choice I am making for myself. I have hurt myself far more than I have hurt anyone else with drinking. I stand to gain the most by quitting!

Obladi - I will be curious to see what you get out of the RR book. At some point, I will invest some time in checking that out. We will have to trade notes.

lifewithoutbooz - It's good to read that your husband is supportive. I have been very fortunate in this regard as my DW has offered not to drink while I am trying to kick the habit. (I have not asked her to do this and we do have some alcohol in the house.) I rarely think about it at home as she has never been a big drinker. Even so, I am fortunate!

Tomorrow marks three weeks of sobriety for me. It just keeps getting better!

Marjoram

Blueshade - A foodie I am. I love cooking healthy as much as possible, therefore the garden is a treat. I preserve as much as I can for winter. It's a lot of work, but it's so nice in the winter to have all my own veggies from the garden with the exception of my salad fixings. Pretty tough to freeze a cucumber. I love my pizza, and the occasional greasy bar burger, though. And Taco Doritos.....my chip of choice (pure heaven) Lately, I've been doing pizza on the grill - up to three now, and they just keep getting better. Congrats on the upcoming 3 weeks sober! How cool is that!

I can't say it enough (especially to myself) - responsibility. Each one of us individually has to be responsible. It sure is hard sometimes. Tonight, as badly as I wanted a drink after hearing about the work woes....I realized, it's only day 2 and I have to do this.

Well, we are all in this roller coaster together. Thanks everyone for being on the same ride with me. It's good to know you are here. Continue sharing...it sure does help.

Marjoram

LWB - hubby was with me last year, but it took him a while to join along. So, I'm okay with it. And Sarah - you are right, a lot of the times people will jump on the wagon with you because they see the change and they want it as well. I'm hoping for that, but will continue to do this for me first. I usually don't put myself first...but in this case, it's the only way I can make this happen.

Sweet Dreams every one!

justhadenough

Hi Marjoram

I just bought it off Amazon -free delivery and very reasonably priced

justhadenough

Morning all,

45 days,not that I'm counting or anything:rotfxko

Marjoram-It's so hard to focus and be positive when others are complaining and being negative. The thing is,we can't control what others door say,just how we react to them.

Sarah-good luck with the race.I find exercising reduces cravings and makes me feel better.

Blushades-I like your idea about reverse psychology and will use it

Feeling a bit sluggish this week -not exercised as been busy and no one to look after DS.It's amazing how worse I feel just missing couple of gym sessions. Off to yoga tomorrow night though.

Not sure if I mentioned it before but I'm reading 'The Power of Now' by EckhartTolle.I would recommend it for those of us who beat ourselves up about the past and are full of fears about the future and trying to live in the future rather than live now. It's all about enjoying life and finding peace now.It's quite hard to follow at times and can only read small bits at once.It's truly fascinating though and inspirational. I am finding an inner peace and contentment I've never felt before despite (or maybe because of?) quitting drinking. It also works well with the RR book

It reminds me of an old saying and today's thought for the day!!

"happiness isn't getting what you want,it's wanting what you've already got"