katan

Marjoram - My thoughts are prayers are with you, and your friend. You know what you need to do, and we are here to cheer you on, to listen and to support you.

lifewithoutbooz

I hope your friend will be OK Marjoram. I'll send out some positive vibes and good thoughts for him. Good that you got it out in the open with your husband - sometimes doing it quickly and then letting him have time to think about it turns out for the best.

Keep strong!

Really4Real

Marj... hope you find some peace in all of this....

Sarah... welcome back...

Katan.... so glad you didn't cave.... but I'm wondering... did you carry around your own porta-potty???????

jhe have a wonderful vacation.

Good prayer tonight and some things to journal/think about.

Have a great night all.

Obladi

Marjoram, a blessing on your house and all those you hold dear.
Glad you at least were able to toss it out there for your husband to hear.
And yes, it's a step in the right direction that you looked up info on the meetings.
Good on you and hang in there.
Life's not easy.

lwb, you are looking mighty vibrant today!

Sarah, it's good you are back. You needn't lurk. Please blurt.

R4R and katan, you all are rocks. Glad you're here.

And jhe, I know well the good feeling you get when you feel like you picked right - am glad for you.

I've had a bit of a revelation today (actually a whopper of one) and am working on sorting it all out. Am so grateful to have found this place and though I'm not quite sure where I go from here, am more confident now that I may be able at long last to really nail this thing.

In other news, MTN has made an appearance on her thread, so perhaps she will rejoin us here.

Sentso, Mel, NFW, and all who lurk here - hi and Happy Monday or Tuesday, whichever it may be for you!


iwillwait, how goes it?

Emma18

Well done to everyone today - I'm having a bit of a rough day already and I just woke up. I can't get to a meeting today and I'm pretty much relying on other members (on here and out there) more than I should be. I don't want to go back, but there's a terribly tantilising feeling... Not sure right now.

Marjoram

Emma - I got through it today, you can, too. Think of my poor friend that dug himself into that dark hole he's in. He didn't reach out to us, and it makes me sad. I just got done sending two Hallmark cards via the internet letting him know how much we love him, and how much faith we have in him that he can do this and fight it. And you know what....I have to practice what I preach.

Stay strong, kiddo. You are way ahead of me in regards to this part of your life. You are making a wonderful choice. I'll be here most the night working, so keep posting if you need to.

And thank you to everyone for your kind words regarding our friend. It means a lot. And Obladi....did you mean to make a poem. That made me smile, even if you didn't. Your first two lines rhymed. You are right - life is not easy, and life is not fair....no one ever said it was ever going to be. But, getting through the struggles, truly makes us stronger. Thank you, dear friend.

Dee74

Welcome back Sarah - I really hope you can make this time your time
Sorry for your friend Marjoram.

Lean on whoever you need to Emma...don't listen to the lies. Re-read old posts if you need to.

a rough day is just that...one rough day...I'm sure easier days are ahead...I'm hoping tomorrow is one of them

D

lifewithoutbooz

Emma - sit down, strap in tight and hold on - you're doing great! We're all on this ride together!! Post when you need to - one of us will be online, I'm sure.

Obladi

Emma, you are a beacon of hope. You can do this - one day without meetings is just a bit of a test. You don't really "need" those meetings, you know - you've been doing this all on your own! *nods head firmly*

Hang in there, luv

Obladi

Marjoram, I didn't mean to rhyme, but I noticed after I posted that I did!
And then I wished I woulda made the next stanza (?) do the same.
But that would've been hokey.
When I just meant to be there.
Which I am.
Here.

xo

Marjoram

Emma - Obladi is right. You can do it without a meeting. We are all in your corner thinking of you. So, keep your chin up and tell yourself you can do this. LWB has it right, too. Keep yourself busy and your mind on things that are much more rewarding than giving into that voice.

Obladi - stanza....very good. I would have never thought of the proper term.

Emma18

Thanks for the posts guys. I'm at school right now so there's not much that I can do to get myself in trouble (and I have work after) but it's just the feeling of trying to hold on that gets to me sometimes. I know it will pass and I just have to get through today.

This is one of the two days I don't go to meetings per week, and I do find that I tend to struggle a bit more. Usually I try to catch up with someone from the rooms though just to keep my head on straight.

katan

R4R - thanks for the chuckle and the bathroom humour!
Emma - lean on us if you need to...That's why we are all here. To give each other strength to go on.
Obladi - thanks for the kind words.
And on that note, off to bed.
Good night all.

blueshades

Emma - good to see your parents involved and working things out.

iwillwait - Welcome to SR!

JHE - Hang in there. Six weeks is a great achievement. You know that there is nothing magical about that timeframe. Every day is as important as the last.

Mel - I'm with you on exercise. I am taking my time so as not to injure myself, but I'm looking forward to getting more physically active in the weeks to come.

R4R - Glad to read that you're feeling better. My own days have been up and down, but at least the desire to drink seems to be waning with each passing day.

katan - congrats on getting through the wedding. I don't know that I could have faced that much temptation in one evening. Good for you!

Sarah - Keep your chin up! We've all stumbled down the path to sobriety here and there. What's important is staying on that track.

Marjoram - We may have talked about this before, but I would be more in the Rational Recovery camp than AA. For now, I am pretty much recovering on my own (with the help of this site.) Good for you for keeping an open mind.

The last two days have been so much better physically than the three or four preceding days. My mind is getting sharper again, which is important since I work in a field that makes many demands on my faculties! I'm feeling encouraged by the last couple of days and I am thrilled to have reached Day 20!

Have a great sober day, everyone.

MtnSeer

Watching how you guys all help each other brings a tear to my eye. You guys rock! Night all.

Marjoram

Blueshades - I continue to read information on the AVRT website and I really like it. I do have to look into an actual book on it, as I have not yet done so. Just scoping out the website more than anything. I just know with the drive and my weird hours, it will be real difficult to do AA. But, I know it's an option if I other avenues are not working. I really feel great relief from telling my husband, though quickly. It's out there again, and that's a huge step for me. He said this evening that he really needs to look at his own drinking again and try to quit, too. I told him whatever he does is his choice and it's not for me to decide. I have to do this for me. But, we'll only be better together for it. Congrats on Day 20! That is super. Do you have a book on AVRT yet?

Well, gang, I'm pooped. Been a long day. Good night!

blueshades

No, not yet. I'm only digging into the options. For now, I am doing okay with the SR community and my own regimen. I need to do what you are doing and delve into the web site to learn more. I will spend some time on this in the coming weeks.

It's great that your husband is examining his alcohol use as well! I am fortunate that my wife is not much of a drinker. She decided to quit smoking a couple of days after I quit back in January and that was definitely a big help. If nothing else, I think we help one another in relationships by modeling healthy choices and behaviors. I hope things work out well for the two of you.

Take good care!

MyTimeNow

Morning everybody

Haha penance for disappearing - catching up on 20 pages of posts! It's been great to catch up on how you have all been doing and truly touching to read the comments left for me. I feel guilty now - I have purposefully avoided this thread. I don't know why, maybe in a failure mindset, thinking I've let everybody down, or knowing full well that I was going to continue drinking... I've been back to my every other day drinking. Purely just to block out life. We've been out and about doing stuff, but I got back into 'reward' mode with I'm going to shut myself off for the evening... and feel crap the next day. Yeah great.

I posted on my thread last night about how I went to see the DR yesterday, that was really positive and I'm on the waiting list for counselling, it could take weeks but at least it is in the pipeline. In the past I would have used the wait as an excuse to carry on, but I've pretty much got so fed up with myself and how the last couple of weeks have gone that I'm ready now.

I cannot believe (well I can as I am proof of) how easy it is to slip back into old habits. It was like the periods I had sober were a distant memory. My alcoholic mind telling me, well you tried, you can't do it so this is your destiny. Noooooo.

I haven't read any PM's yet either I'm afraid, have been ignoring those too. Sorry! I will get back to you all. I'm feeling a bit groggy this morning, in spite of what amounted to an 11 hour solid sleep, more tea then off to see my nan with the kids.

I'll catch up with you all later and once again, so so many thanks, I can't express my gratitude or appreciation for the support from you guys in words so I'll do a little armchair cheer for you all *YAY!!!!!!!!* Did you see that? Good! Haha, back to rambling too Love and hugs to all.

Laters

Marjoram

MTN - glad to see you back. A lot of us are proof as to how easy it is to fall back into the same regimen. I honestly feel every one does it over the course of their addiction, no matter what it is. But, it's up to us to learn from it. I know staying here is a big step of fighting it. So, stay with us. I've had my tail between my legs a lot lately, but I'm doing my best to get it back up wagging where it belongs.

Blueshades - thank you. And let me know what your thoughts are as you read more into AVRT. I really like the strength it portrays. When my hubby was married before, his ex and him were smokers. She was very challenging with him, and in a fight one day said "YOU CAN'T QUIT SMOKING". That is the best line you can use on him. "You can't". And I agree with him. He looked her in the eye and said "be met". Slammed his pack of cigarettes down on the table and hasn't smoked since. He enjoys the occasional cigar at camp with the guys, and I'm completely fine with that. But, to buy cigarettes and smoke regularly, he quit cold turkey. So, I have to look at my AV that way. "You can't quit drinking". Oh, bet me. I know I can, and that's what I have to tell myself. And I love the idea it's based on the family concept. That is something I think about often......"If my Mom knew how much I drank her heart would break". "If my Dad knew his only girl was an alcoholic like his oldest son was, it would sadden him." "If my brother knew, he would want to give me a bg hug and then a kick in the pants". But, I like how it makes us responsible for our actions. And I think that is a good route for me, as I believe that my husband looks at many of life's decisions in the same way. Responsbility. So, SR and AVRT it will be. If I feel I need further guidance, than I will continue the hunt for the perfect plan.

Have two houses to clean today so a busy day. That's serious exercise. Balances out my office job. No brainer work and brainer work. Flexibility - I'm very fortunate.

Have a wonderful day every one. I'm feeling very positive today. I know telling hubby was what I needed.

TodayisGood

MTN: Great to have you posting! Love the fact you are trying again and that you have a doctor's appointment. Hope the counseling goes through. Wish you the best, and "sober is the new cool." Don't get down on yourself, you can get back on track. I'm glad your back here. 20 pages of reading!

I was traveling for work yesterday and didn't have time to post or read. Just finished reading everyone's posts now, but have to get to work. Some great things are happening. Sorry I don't have time for personals. A lot I want to respond to. Maybe later... have to travel again tomorrow, so it's a busy week.

I'm still going strong, although more thoughts of being all good now and that I can be a normal beer drinker with buddies again. To get out of that mode, I "play the tape through" and think about what will come afterwards and how I won't stop looking for the next drunk-buzz. Been reading about PAWS. The irritability, lack of emotional responses and low grade headaches that I have seem to match the PAWS characteristics, although I don't believe these symptoms for me are all that bad. But, they do exist. When thoughts of drinking come to mind, I think that I'm sober only 30 days now which isn't enough time for my body to adjust, so in fact, I'm not "all good" now as the persuasive beer drinker would have me believe. I try to think about this too as a counter measure to the creeping desires. Anyway, it's certainly going to be my challenge. I just have to keep remembering and not forget what alcohol really means for me and not relate it to the fancy fun times in the commercials or what maybe friends can do who are not susceptible to abusing.

Have a great day everyone!!!!!