Class of July 2012 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southeast US
Posts: 332
JHE, we certainly don't want to make you feel badly. My hope is that everyone here can feel glad and grateful for a new life of sobriety. I'm continually inspired by what folks like you, Obladi, and katan have to endure to maintain your sobriety.
I went to a baseball game with my wife and two family members. Without even thinking about it my wife asked me if I wanted a beer. It was interesting to me how it didn't feel like an especially awkward moment. On balance, I've had this journey pretty easy. I think that's part of why I spend time encouraging others.
I went to a baseball game with my wife and two family members. Without even thinking about it my wife asked me if I wanted a beer. It was interesting to me how it didn't feel like an especially awkward moment. On balance, I've had this journey pretty easy. I think that's part of why I spend time encouraging others.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 604
Dee, sometimes it takes something morbid to shake us up enough to make a change. Good point that we can be woken up too, instead of making a change. For me, almost losing a very close friend woke me up. I wish it would wake her up as well. She is in denial and thinks she's hiding the drinking from people and it's scary for me to watch. This is serious business.
Obladi, you will be strong enough to do this when you're ready! Meanwhile keep reading and posting!
I'm glad everyone is fighting the fight. Katan, it's weird isn't it how one day you can be craving it like crazy and the next not really care...
I made it through a birthday sober. It really was a blue moon lol
Obladi, you will be strong enough to do this when you're ready! Meanwhile keep reading and posting!
I'm glad everyone is fighting the fight. Katan, it's weird isn't it how one day you can be craving it like crazy and the next not really care...
I made it through a birthday sober. It really was a blue moon lol
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Morning all
Katan-good for you not giving into the cravings especially when others are drinking around you
BLueshades-you've been very helpful and haven't made me feel bad at all.Thankyou. Glad the game went well.
NFW-was it your birthday?Congratulations and many happy returns
Obladi-hope you come back-it's just that first day isn't it-could you may be break it down in to segments?
R4R-hope the birthday goes well today.It's my husband's b/d today and we have family over.I've told them I'm not drinking and not to bring me any to the responses of 'oh that's boring!' Ummmm if you say so. I don't think so. I will be designated cook,hiding in kitchen with soda water and SR
I'm at that stage when I feel good after feeling so bad for 2 weeks that I never want to feel bad again.Why do our minds forget these feelings. I've finished the Allen Carr book. I loved it and found it very helpful. I would recommend it to those of us struggling
on a good note,MTN appeared on another thread overnight so hopefully she will be back here soon.
Katan-good for you not giving into the cravings especially when others are drinking around you
BLueshades-you've been very helpful and haven't made me feel bad at all.Thankyou. Glad the game went well.
NFW-was it your birthday?Congratulations and many happy returns
Obladi-hope you come back-it's just that first day isn't it-could you may be break it down in to segments?
R4R-hope the birthday goes well today.It's my husband's b/d today and we have family over.I've told them I'm not drinking and not to bring me any to the responses of 'oh that's boring!' Ummmm if you say so. I don't think so. I will be designated cook,hiding in kitchen with soda water and SR
I'm at that stage when I feel good after feeling so bad for 2 weeks that I never want to feel bad again.Why do our minds forget these feelings. I've finished the Allen Carr book. I loved it and found it very helpful. I would recommend it to those of us struggling
on a good note,MTN appeared on another thread overnight so hopefully she will be back here soon.
TiG
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Chicago Area
Posts: 381
Howdy folks,
Some very helpful thoughts out there. I like that we can be who we are without feeling judged for our alcoholic actions. That we all understand how big of a problem alcohol is in our lives and that we are only human beings struggling to reach a better existence for ourselves. We are all richer for the patience to heal and the kindness to help others, and especially the willingness to accept our fears and weaknesses. No games or manipulations. I really needed this.
Happy birthday R4R and NFW!
MTN: Wishing you peace and success with sobriety. You can do it!
Obladi: You too. You can do it!
JHE: Sorry your family is not supportive. Do it for yourself, and maybe some of them may wake up. You make me want to get the Allen Carr book now.
Have a great sober Sunday!
Some very helpful thoughts out there. I like that we can be who we are without feeling judged for our alcoholic actions. That we all understand how big of a problem alcohol is in our lives and that we are only human beings struggling to reach a better existence for ourselves. We are all richer for the patience to heal and the kindness to help others, and especially the willingness to accept our fears and weaknesses. No games or manipulations. I really needed this.
Happy birthday R4R and NFW!
MTN: Wishing you peace and success with sobriety. You can do it!
Obladi: You too. You can do it!
JHE: Sorry your family is not supportive. Do it for yourself, and maybe some of them may wake up. You make me want to get the Allen Carr book now.
Have a great sober Sunday!
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
Thanks for the bday wish, TiG... but it's my birth dad's bday tomorrow - so I have to go to his party today. Have to because I'm bringing the cake....
Anyway, busy day. Keep up the great work everyone
Anyway, busy day. Keep up the great work everyone
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: nh
Posts: 90
Obladi-as someone who has done the diet thing, the quitting smoking thing, the quitting drinking thing (well-working on it!) I can say with ALL certainty-there is never a good time. There will ALWAYS be something on the horizon or something going on. It is never a "good" time but it is always a "good" time, kwim? And nothing ever changed from just waiting.
I say this with the best intentions because you were so supportive of me in those first days. So filled with positive and I really appreciated it. I still do. You CAN do this. When I feel like I really would like a glass of something I tell myself "tomorrow. There is always tomorrow." And then when tomorrow comes-if I'm still having a tough time I tell myself "tomorrow.". It's not as easy as it sounds, I do know that but so far it's working.
I say this with the best intentions because you were so supportive of me in those first days. So filled with positive and I really appreciated it. I still do. You CAN do this. When I feel like I really would like a glass of something I tell myself "tomorrow. There is always tomorrow." And then when tomorrow comes-if I'm still having a tough time I tell myself "tomorrow.". It's not as easy as it sounds, I do know that but so far it's working.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Thanks, Smitty.
You are right that there is never a good time.
But "now" is always the best time, eh?
So today seems like a good enough choice.
jhe - the first chunk is easy. Feel rotten and out of it for a few hours, go on to feeling human for the balance of daylight hours. Then it seemed I used to buckle in one instant. This is a lie, though. In the back of my mind, I was waiting to see how I felt. If I continued to feel physically horrible, I would not drink. But since I came around to feeling better every day, I would then decide to go for it again. Ridiculous.
So today's plan is - don't drink. Period.
Masterful in its simplicity, don't you think?
You are right that there is never a good time.
But "now" is always the best time, eh?
So today seems like a good enough choice.
jhe - the first chunk is easy. Feel rotten and out of it for a few hours, go on to feeling human for the balance of daylight hours. Then it seemed I used to buckle in one instant. This is a lie, though. In the back of my mind, I was waiting to see how I felt. If I continued to feel physically horrible, I would not drink. But since I came around to feeling better every day, I would then decide to go for it again. Ridiculous.
So today's plan is - don't drink. Period.
Masterful in its simplicity, don't you think?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 209
NFW - Happy bday!!
R4R - How was the airshow?
R4R, JHE, Blueshades -- Thank you for the words of encouragement. This was the hardest Friday night I have had since I quit drinking. Many nights I get urges/cravings - but I drink one of my soda concoctions, and get on with it. This time if my husband had poured me a drink I was in such a state that I know at gut level I would have drunk it without any hesitation. Remorse and guilt later, but no hesitation at that time.
TIG, Mel, Dee, Obladi, and anyone else I omitted - you are all so supportive.
Have a happy sober Sunday. I never thought sobriety would be such hard work
R4R - How was the airshow?
R4R, JHE, Blueshades -- Thank you for the words of encouragement. This was the hardest Friday night I have had since I quit drinking. Many nights I get urges/cravings - but I drink one of my soda concoctions, and get on with it. This time if my husband had poured me a drink I was in such a state that I know at gut level I would have drunk it without any hesitation. Remorse and guilt later, but no hesitation at that time.
TIG, Mel, Dee, Obladi, and anyone else I omitted - you are all so supportive.
Have a happy sober Sunday. I never thought sobriety would be such hard work
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Nice words TIG, very uplifting,thank you.
R4R-hope party goes ok,Iget the feeling you don't want to go . Will there be lots of drinking or is your relationship with him not great. Apologies if I'm prying.
Nice to hear from you Smitty.Your words are very helpful
Obladi,I see what you mean. I struggle the most with the first day. Once I start to feel better I don't ever want to go back to those bad feelings. Maybe you need a new plan/program, I don't know. Obviously, I'm not a great one to give advice as failed badly recently. you can do it though. No point putting off till tomorrow what can be done today-if the first day isn't difficult maybe make today the first day and plan a plan forwhen you feel better and want a drink. did you ever look at avrt or aa? sending you best wishes
Hello Katan-I'm glad the urge passed-well done to you resisting
R4R-hope party goes ok,Iget the feeling you don't want to go . Will there be lots of drinking or is your relationship with him not great. Apologies if I'm prying.
Nice to hear from you Smitty.Your words are very helpful
Obladi,I see what you mean. I struggle the most with the first day. Once I start to feel better I don't ever want to go back to those bad feelings. Maybe you need a new plan/program, I don't know. Obviously, I'm not a great one to give advice as failed badly recently. you can do it though. No point putting off till tomorrow what can be done today-if the first day isn't difficult maybe make today the first day and plan a plan forwhen you feel better and want a drink. did you ever look at avrt or aa? sending you best wishes
Hello Katan-I'm glad the urge passed-well done to you resisting
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
jhe, I had a "friend" turn away from me recently as well. It stings.
But everyone has their own "issues," so try to remember it's not all about you.
I don't mean that in a harsh way, but am trying to say that relationships are complex because of what each of us bring into them. Stay the course and focus on being happy with yourself. Everything else will come from this place of being authentically you.
But everyone has their own "issues," so try to remember it's not all about you.
I don't mean that in a harsh way, but am trying to say that relationships are complex because of what each of us bring into them. Stay the course and focus on being happy with yourself. Everything else will come from this place of being authentically you.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 604
Obladi, you may have just hit on a really good reason to stay motivated. I'm finding that what's authentically me is not a drunk that is frequently embarrassed by my drinking. The real me is much more content to read, watch movies, walk on the beach, and stay a lot more mellow than I've been while drinking. Being drunk and making bad decisions just doesn't fit with the majority of my person, and I bet that's true for every one of us here. The desire to change back into someone you remember and like is a pretty powerful tool for stopping. btw sorry about your friend-maybe they will turn back to you in the future!
It's good to keep telling yourself when you're feeling good "I feel good right now BECAUSE I didn't drink" instead of "I feel great, let's drink".
TIG very nice post!
Smitty, you're right, there never is a good time to quit. There are many many good times to postpone quitting though, as we all know! Just start at some random time and keep going.
Thanks for the bday wishes!
It's good to keep telling yourself when you're feeling good "I feel good right now BECAUSE I didn't drink" instead of "I feel great, let's drink".
TIG very nice post!
Smitty, you're right, there never is a good time to quit. There are many many good times to postpone quitting though, as we all know! Just start at some random time and keep going.
Thanks for the bday wishes!
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
I got a trojan horse on my laptop. dumb.
Clicked on a link to watch One the Movie. More irony?
Anyhow, can use my smartphone in the meantime while I try cleaning the laptop.
AA isn't a good fit for me, but avrt does speak (shout) to me.
Will try to finish the rational recovery book today.
Won't drink.
Clicked on a link to watch One the Movie. More irony?
Anyhow, can use my smartphone in the meantime while I try cleaning the laptop.
AA isn't a good fit for me, but avrt does speak (shout) to me.
Will try to finish the rational recovery book today.
Won't drink.
TiG
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Chicago Area
Posts: 381
Katan, I'm doing good overall. Was fighting through a craving this morning as I forced myself to continue installing the floors upstairs. I hurt my back - glute area this week from too much exercise and the floors weren't helping at all. A lot bending over and sitting down- standing up routine that was stressing my injury. And, everyone is in the house: Wife is cleaning the closets, kids are fighting, dogs are barking and me thinking that I would love a beer for a late breakfast. Wife found an old Monster Drink in one of the kids closet. We don't let them have these energy drinks because, well, it would take a whole other post to explain. It has to do with medications they take. Anyway, I drank the Monster like it was beer. Good that it wasn't, but well see where the psychological substitution brings me. The boost helped along with the Advil and I was able to get a lot accomplished. Quite happy about it actually.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 209
TIG - glad the monster drink helped you get so much done. Just take care of the back - all the bending is definitely not good for sore glutes. I just discovered that between the diet pop I started drinking since I quit alcohol, and the crystal light I have been consuming - that I am retaining water. My ringers are so swollen, I can't get my rings on!! Oh well, back to regular water on the rocks with a twist of lemon/lime
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 209
NFW -" It's good to keep telling yourself when you're feeling good "I feel good right now BECAUSE I didn't drink" instead of "I feel great, let's drink". " I like the twist on the thought; It really makes sense and is very encouraging.
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