Jeni26

You're a very special person FP. Never ever forget it xxx

FrenchPink

Hey, Dee. A compliment from you, our Sage Sober Superhero, means so much to me! Thank you for your congrats on my 90 days. Love you, buddy.

FrenchPink

Rock, my steadfast partner in sober solidarity, where would I be today without you? Probably 3/4 of the way into a bottle of Pinot Noir. My love to you, May mate. Thank you for the awesome pink elephant pic and your kind thoughts on my 90 days.

FrenchPink

Dweller, my most cherished partner in primetime rhyme crime, I could never, ever have made it to this point in my sobriety without the solid base of your early and continued intellectual rivalries and humorous snipes at my Mammoth hide. A chance miracle to discover a partner in matching wits at just the right moment in time when I sorely needed a reason to come out of total social withdrawal and reach back up to the light.

Early on, you actually had to goad me into our shared poem jabs. Do you remember? Poetically accusing me of spreading your cyber flu, and then beating on poor Pach for my poem "nosedive" which made me feel quite "irrelephant." (PAWS had its grip on me then, as I could only hear my ex yelling at me through your verses.) Pulling myself out of my projected replay, I realized that your challenges in the form of pokes and prods in lyrical lambast were exactly what I'd been missing and needing to fire up the old grey matter engine again.

Trying to keep up with you and outdo you in our rhyme/snipe rivalry threw me into consulting online dictionaries, proper poem format sites, online thesaurus sites, alliteration tools, rhyming wikis, rap lyrics sites.... obsessive? Perhaps so, in those critical early days of sobriety, but time surely flew by at warp speed and I had one hell of a ton of fun with you! My poem format improved, my penchant for vocabulary gymnastics regenerated, and I surprised myself by writing my first-ever attempts at raps. And seeing as you haven't recovered from our last East vs. West slapdown, poem mate, looks like Student Mammoth may have finally kicked Professor Dawg's mutt butt... at least in that rap-type format.

My love and sincere gratitude to you, Dweller, for taking me this far in sobriety. I can only hope to return the favor of helping you achieve your own peace of mind in solid sobriety, as it would be my heartfelt honor as your faithful Dweller-Phant Productions partner. Thank you for coming back to us, May mate.

FrenchPink

OneLess, Saskia, and Soleil, my sisters of strength along the superhighway of sobriety, my gracious thanks to all of you for your wonderful well wishes on my 90th day. Together, we can accomplish anything. Huge hugs of love to you!

Uninvited

Isn't there something a little ironic about seeing pink elephants on a sobriety site?

ToxicTonic

Happy Birthday FrenchPink...well done!!!







pink eleph.jpg

MalkavianEmily

Day 20 draws to a close. It's been an odd sort of day. Up early to sort out mum's tablets and breakfast, then back to bed for a short nap. Starting to bake and then realising I was out of flour...
A quick trip to the shops and then...
I hate mobile phones. I just got mine back because the new screen didn't work, only to find I couldn't get a signal. Anyway, I took all my old video games to the second hand shop, which was a bit of a wrench. Not just mentally and emotionally, but also for my shoulders. The fact that the bus I was on... seemed to attract people who either couldn't read, couldn't think or both, and ended up running late.

But yes, I've packed up and had to sell a whole chunk of my life. Tomorrow I'm heading back to the place I went to school. It's been a while since I was there... old memories, some of them good, most of them... not so good. And a few that I know aren't real, but are made up from 'stock footage'.

Deserto - sorry you slipped, but glad you came back. We're here for you May mate.

Jeni - anger is understandable. And it's better to let it out and let it go than let it fester. At least, that's what I'm told...

Uninvited - congrats on the donation. Congrats too on 79 days.

Saskia - stress... I take it out on my fiance too much but I hope that things start looking more peaceful for you soon. And it's really good that you've managed to avoid slipping.

GingerBeer - good to hear from you. Sorry to hear about your slips and glad to hear you're not letting them get to you.

Seahorse - that's a... somewhat disturbing picture. In a good way.

FP - congrats on the big 9-0. Your posts are a large part of the glue that holds us together.

It's time for me to call it a day. Hopefully I won't need to be up too early tomorrow. Good night and sleep well everyone, and remember that tomorrow is a fresh start. Congratulations to everybody who's hit a milestone - big or small. May life treat you gently, and if it doesn't... treat yourselves gently instead.
Love and hugs to you all.

Saskia

Oh my, Uninvited, that is so hilarious now that I think about it!
:rotfxko

Deserto

Thanks Emily. And thanks FP for that sweet shout out. Glad I could help get the ol' neurons firing again And don't worry -- I plan on recycling all my old poems now that I'm counting again

Feeling annoyed with myself tonight, having gotten off work, avoided the powerful temptation to pick up some vodka, and came home to have a little pity party with myself (the dog looking at me reproachfully). I know it's just day two physical and emotional withdrawals and the normal spiritual temper tantrum ("It's not fair! It's not fair! It's hopeless!"), but I have to admit I just feel low tonight. Yeah, hopeless. I don't want to drink and I don't want to be in "recovery." I resent everything at the moment.

So instead of going out with friends (never a possibility in these early days, and I think I need to take some deeper steps and develop some new friendships) I'm off to the 7 o'clock movie by myself. The Bourne Legacy.

I don't quite get how a week of drinking can set us back so much. I know all my work over 83 days (and the three months last fall) aren't in vain, but this feeling of being back at square one has me down tonight. I know the lesson should be: don't go back to square one. But the lesson seems just as powerful to simply give up the game.

As I said, it's a damned pity party 'round here. Bring your own lampshade.

Dee74

I know that feeling...but you're not really at square one, Des...you have a lot of accumulated wisdom and experience to call on now that you did when you started this journey.

Hope you feel better later - enjoy the movie

D

kittycat3

yeeeeeeeehaw!!!!!!

Saskia

Thanks, kitty cat! That is just priceless :-)

Deserto, our favorite desert dweller, you are NOT back at square one. You have shown so much kindness and wisdom while I've been here. You have been a rock...and now you're still a rock but a human one. I felt somewhat inadequate for awhile when some of you were so strong. Now I realize that you are still strong but human like the rest of us, too! And that's not a bad thing.

I believe that if we never make mistakes we aren't learning life's sometimes difficult lessons. So I hope you'll be able to see the positives in what has happened and you can figure out those things you need to do for your sobriety and happiness.

kittycat3

Way to go FP and all the other 90 day celebrants!!!

Wrapping up a good day 6....home alone on a friday night!!!! Had a fleeting thought that in the past a night without plans may have been a time I'd pick up some wine and stay in and obliterate. Nope, not today! I am wearing pajama pants and thinking about a movie....

I feel really good. I am dating a guy now that hardly drinks. We are in the very early stages and not moving fast at all. It feels so good to go out and laugh laugh laugh with him over dinner and tea. The friends I saw last weekend during my slip I will not see for a long while. Tomorrow I go out with friends that I suspect will not be drinking but if they are I will feel completely comfortable declining and sipping sparkly water...I'm taking very good care of myself and not accepting invitations to anything that could jeopardize my sobriety. (If I was honest with myself I could have suspected my slip last weekend due to the location and company where it happened.)
I've also been very careful about not beating myself up about it. I posted about this earlier. The relapse has entered my mind more than once this week and I'm working on just letting it go in / out without the need to judge. That is my mediation lately. Withholding judgment, good OR bad. It just is.

I have fretted so much about telling others about not drinking and feeling like the odd woman out because of it. I am today feeling more acceptance than ever. I just don't have energy to devote to that right now. So I don't drink, so what?! Drinking makes me an a*hole, and if people think I'm a sally for not drinking then I think they are a sally right back And continuing to think about this keeps me focused on what others think more than what is most important, which is that I am sober and I need to do whatever it takes to put that and me first.

So, here I sit, iced tea, kitten and cat, typing in the dark, browsing for a good movie to veg out to. I am so glad to be here alone and healthy. I am so glad to go to sleep with a clear mind and to wake up tomorrow on a glorious Saturday to have fun with friends and celebrate summer. Love you all.

FrenchPink

(((Emily))): “May life treat you gently…” I flipped that around to read that life in our class of May treats us gently, and it does. Thank goodness for all of our loving and supportive classmates to prop us up along the way. Huge hugs to you during your move back to school. Congrats on your 20 big sober days. Thank you for your 90 days good wishes!

KittyCat: Awesome Cats-on-Pach shotgun pic! Wonderful that you’re dating a nice guy who hardly drinks. I wish you two all the best. You sound super-strong in your sobriety tonight on your excellent Day 6. “I am sober and I need to do whatever it takes to put that and me first.” Love that! Thank you for your congrats on my 90 days. Hugs to you!

FrenchPink

For Desert Dweller, I declare
there needn’t be a do-over square.
As the sober count of days
is more than one in his collective share.

Hey, Cactus Crusher. You’re on Day 2 today, so why not just add it to your 83 consecutives? I see that as at least a twofold advantage here:
o You can use today’s Day 85 count as a well-deserved psychological boost back into our wagon.
o As such, you’re now entitled to your very own celebratory elephant picture for milestones without having to share the accolades! Worth the price of admission right there, I’d say, as you'd only have 5 days to go.

As far as you recycling your old poems? My last recollection was your puny attempt on Day 52, with a whole lotta nothin’ in between. Leave those tired, hackneyed, moth-eaten, leftover verses in the desert dust where they belong in May and June. If you’re partial to getting back into the game with this French Punk, even if we start off light and easy seeing as you’re all rusty, I am all in and all about it, Dawg. I heard about this May elephant who swears by poem slaps as guaranteed sober therapy. Go figure?!

Deserto

Well according to my royalty checks, those leftover verses have become classic hits in places like Lithuania.

Who needs a stairway to heaven when the road to Vilnius is paved in gold?

Pity party is over, though I think the dog is having one because he didn't get a walk today. As for me -- nothing like popcorn for dinner and coming home to some cheering up from Dee, Saskia and FP to clear the air....

FrenchPink

Yup. You're doing a good job in cementing my point, Sidewinder. What I'm hearing is a lot of Dawg's yapping and no rapping. Walk that pooch to get your head clear and back in rhyme gear. Mammoth will be anticipating with unflappable, loyal patience. Love to you on your Day 85.

FrenchPink

Luling? Where did you go?

If my day count is right, then tomorrow (Saturday) marks a big 60 Days milestone for you!

Jeni26

Good morning classmates. How I love waking up to read all your posts.
Deserto, I know that feeling of having to start again and the sadness you feel, keep with us, we're with you every step of the way.
I slept proper sleep last night yay!!! Not that, tossing and turning and wandering around in the early hours lost in self-pity kind of sleep which has been my life for the past week!
I've got the ordeal of seeing my parents today. Feeling a bit of anxiety about that, but gotta remember I'm not 6 years old, nor am I responsible for their well-being. I'm me, and I'm bloody well doing ok, Thankyou very much!!
I am taking deep breaths and focusing and holding my head up high.
I can do this!
Families eh?!
Love you all xxx