Class of May 2012 part 9
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Originally Posted by Deserto 
I know that those closest to us are probably the last to see the changes in us, and have the greatest reasons to be nervous about any proclaimed changes, but I can't help but notice how often I come away from conversations with the wife feeling deeply confused about what is real, doubting my own perceptions of reality. This breaks my heart. I don't want to be judged anymore.
If anyone can do it, you can. But be careful not to rush. Right now the job has to be work on you. When you save you and learn to love you, ther rest will likely follow. Now that you have a counselor, this seems like it is much more within grasp. Keep your head up as much as you can... And yes even in the best of times we all have our own perceptions of reality. If you ask my partner and I what happened a day after an event, you would not even know we were at the same place.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
Originally Posted by HitRockBottom70
When you save you and learn to love you, ther rest will likely follow. Now that you have a counselor, this seems like it is much more within grasp. Keep your head up as much as you can... And yes even in the best of times we all have our own perceptions of reality. If you ask my partner and I what happened a day after an event, you would not even know we were at the same place.
Had a great Skype session with the new counselor, and will see him in person next week. Luckily he's in the next town over -- which is only 107 miles away
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Or a different kinda star, Annie Oakley
phel_annieoakley.jpg
phel_annieoakley.jpg
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by Deserto
We are all in the gutter, HRB, but some of us are looking to the stars.
weirdcat.jpg
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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@FP that is one scary photo!
@HRB I think I danced with that second one down at the saloon last winter.
Just skipped out of the office to make a junket of the local thrift stores. There always seems to be a paucity of pearl-snap shirts when you need 'em.
@HRB I think I danced with that second one down at the saloon last winter.
Just skipped out of the office to make a junket of the local thrift stores. There always seems to be a paucity of pearl-snap shirts when you need 'em.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by Deserto
Just skipped out of the office to make a junket of the local thrift stores. There always seems to be a paucity of pearl-snap shirts when you need 'em.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
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Oh my, staying away from this forum is a bad idea ... So many hi jinks in between the people stories. It's a great combination!
Rock ... You have some great cat pix, same for kittycat...
and FP, you are so multi talented it scares me some days. I feel like you are much of the glue that holds us together. With your humor, caring and very wise advice you are the best in my book!
Em, I wish all the best for you with your upcoming move.
Jeni, you are sounding strong. I hope your sleep is better!
Deserto, it's really great to have you back. I'm sad to hear that things aren't going well with your wife. None of us can predict how that will ultimately work out, but please know that we all care very much about you! I'm looking forward to more Dweller-Phant smack downs or whatever you call them (granny sometimes has a tough time keeping up with the language you youngsters use). :rotfxko
Lee you sound good like you're right back in the groove. That's such a great example for all of us.
Tanja, it sounds like you had a very traumatic visit to the dentist. I know how tough that can be!!! I hope you feel better soon!
And my fondest wishes for all!
AFM, doing a bit better. Picked up my new car yesterday and once I get through the red tape to transfer the old one to my offspring, I will breathe a sigh of relief!
Rock ... You have some great cat pix, same for kittycat...
and FP, you are so multi talented it scares me some days
. I feel like you are much of the glue that holds us together. With your humor, caring and very wise advice you are the best in my book!Em, I wish all the best for you with your upcoming move.
Jeni, you are sounding strong. I hope your sleep is better!
Deserto, it's really great to have you back. I'm sad to hear that things aren't going well with your wife. None of us can predict how that will ultimately work out, but please know that we all care very much about you! I'm looking forward to more Dweller-Phant smack downs or whatever you call them (granny sometimes has a tough time keeping up with the language you youngsters use). :rotfxko
Lee you sound good like you're right back in the groove. That's such a great example for all of us.
Tanja, it sounds like you had a very traumatic visit to the dentist. I know how tough that can be!!! I hope you feel better soon!
And my fondest wishes for all!
AFM, doing a bit better. Picked up my new car yesterday and once I get through the red tape to transfer the old one to my offspring, I will breathe a sigh of relief!
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by Deserto
Day 5 here. Had a great conversation with my counselor yesterday, and came out feeling hopeful, like I was on the right path, like things could work out over time when Mrs. Deserta returned, certain that I wanted that. Then had a conversation with the wife on the phone and felt completely deflated and hopeless. The day just never arrives. And it's never seemed so far away.
Quite sad today. More counseling this morning. I know that those closest to us are probably the last to see the changes in us, and have the greatest reasons to be nervous about any proclaimed changes, but I can't help but notice how often I come away from conversations with the wife feeling deeply confused about what is real, doubting my own perceptions of reality. This breaks my heart. I don't want to be judged anymore.
Quite sad today. More counseling this morning. I know that those closest to us are probably the last to see the changes in us, and have the greatest reasons to be nervous about any proclaimed changes, but I can't help but notice how often I come away from conversations with the wife feeling deeply confused about what is real, doubting my own perceptions of reality. This breaks my heart. I don't want to be judged anymore.
I am sorry that you’re feeling sad. A huge step forward that you're finding counselors that appeal to you, and that’s wonderful news. Rock makes an excellent point in how important it is to concentrate on healing yourself, first. The rest will likely fall into place as truths become more evident to you in a clearer, calmer path of thinking.
I believe it's human nature to react hard and fast to how others view us, or at least as we think they view us. It might help to take a step back from the emotional hit and instead examine objectively what your wife said to you, e.g., was there value in her meaning? Disregarding any baseless negativity, was there information for you to work with?
You know in your heart who you are and what is true about you. While those we love may hurl cactus needles at us, we can’t control what they do or think of us. We can only show them in our actions that we are making the positive changes to be the best we can be. Stay strong and confident in your self-worth while doing what you need to do to take care of you.
Many of us know that it’s tough enough maintaining sobriety without the added burden of marital stress. Hang in there, my friend. You’re on the right road and you’ve got this. We’re all here for you, too.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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sorry to be out of the loop - tooth trouble.
As for the pics...laughing is good but....remember we don't want to put anyone off either...there may be many potential new members looking for help and judging this forum, or even the site, by this thread.
I'll be back in a day or two
D
As for the pics...laughing is good but....remember we don't want to put anyone off either...there may be many potential new members looking for help and judging this forum, or even the site, by this thread.
I'll be back in a day or two
D
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
Rounding out day 2. Feel like I did not miss a beat, just mis-stepped. All of that sobriety counted for something. I now know that moderation, in the very least, does not offer much. At the very most, it is playing with fire. Me no play with fire.
Have a great night, everyone. Much hugs around!
Lee
Have a great night, everyone. Much hugs around!
Lee
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Day 26 is coming to an end, and it feels weird. There's an itch in the back of my mind that I can't quite put a name to. I know I'm worrying about nothing. Something I need to find out for myself. I'm not about to pick up the bottle again, don't worry.
Deserto - have a good canoe trip
Uninvited - 8 miles? That's really great
Saskia - congrats on the new car.
FP - that cat is scary...
Good night everyone. Sleep well. Have a restful night. You deserve it. And remember, if you're going through hell, keep going...
Love and hugs to you all.
Deserto - have a good canoe trip
Uninvited - 8 miles? That's really great
Saskia - congrats on the new car.
FP - that cat is scary...
Good night everyone. Sleep well. Have a restful night. You deserve it. And remember, if you're going through hell, keep going...
Love and hugs to you all.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by Dee74
sorry to be out of the loop - tooth trouble.
As for the pics...laughing is good but....remember we don't want to put anyone off either...there may be many potential new members looking for help and judging this forum, or even the site, by this thread.
I'll be back in a day or two
D
As for the pics...laughing is good but....remember we don't want to put anyone off either...there may be many potential new members looking for help and judging this forum, or even the site, by this thread.
I'll be back in a day or two
D
Good luck at the dentist, mate. I get the willies just thinking about those visits. Geez. Hollered at twice in two days. (Teacher Jeni and Dee.) I'll smooth this over with a few inspirational quotes on sobriety:
o "The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity." Author unknown.
o "Alcoholism isn't a spectator sport. Eventually the whole family gets to play." Joyce Rebeta-Burditt
o "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." Ernest Hemingway
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