The Updated Clean Plan for Stability Pt 2
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I hope you'll keep coming back Paul - the only thing that's changed about this thread is it's location.
All the support is still right here - whenever you want to use it
Best of luck for day one tomorrow
D
All the support is still right here - whenever you want to use it
Best of luck for day one tomorrow
D
Spiritual Learner
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 165
paul it would be good to read the threads that are written when you are sober unless you like the merry go round, you don't really have anybody there at home (close to you)to call you on anything, help you stay on track, we at SR have been but how can you give advice if you are drinking regularly and not even trying. If you want to see where you are going take a look at where you have been and decide if that is the direction you still want to go, again I say this because I believe you can hear it. Remeber practice, superbowl teams didn't make the championship without making mistakes, they grew from them, when a receiver dropped a ball, the receiver can pick homself back up ad cstch another one. Another example when a starter loses his/her position they have two choices a. give up (make excuses, beat themselves up, reinforce the negatives) or b. try harder ( pratice more, correct and don't judge themselves to bad, reinforce the positives) I believe you are the second types or this thread would have never grown yhis large- THAT IS WHY IT IS MOVED YOU HAVE TO MANY PEOPLE SUPPORTING YOU, this is not a bad thing. 
Be grateful not many people have found a site like this, unfortunately they die or stay living in their miserable, isolated world wishing, you have found strength, love, and a way out!!!! Tonight when you go to bed I hope you pray to whatever God/Higher Power you believe in and thank Him for leading you to such a wonderful place where you are accepted just as you are, Welcome back and take care my friend!!!!
Be grateful not many people have found a site like this, unfortunately they die or stay living in their miserable, isolated world wishing, you have found strength, love, and a way out!!!! Tonight when you go to bed I hope you pray to whatever God/Higher Power you believe in and thank Him for leading you to such a wonderful place where you are accepted just as you are, Welcome back and take care my friend!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 391
Hey everyone, just checking in. Pretty faded right now, not gonna lie. I had an off and on week. The gf situation really took it out of me. I really feel I let myself down by getting back with her. I mean she literally told me she doesn't see a future with me and that she is unwilling to change anything she does. And of course, being the weakling I am I caved to that and got back together. I feel sick to my stomach that I'm not strong enough right now just to get rid of her and move on with my life.
Tonight is the most I have drank since last week, although I have been going out almost every night to restaurants and getting couple beers, it hasn't been too much. I also went golfing, hiking two days in a row, took over my finances, got my eyes check for the first time, set up a dentist appointment, and contacted everyone of my friends that I have not talked to in over a year. It was really encouraging to hear some of the things they had to say. My fraternity buddies basically said we are brothers for life and they will be there whenever I need them. My best buddy here took it bad at first but when I talked with him he started to understand and actually was incredibly helpful and told me his story about when he hit rock bottom. It involved jail, his dad hiring lawyers, him moving in with his parents, etc. So I think when I told him my story he kind of related to it and understood exactly where I was coming from.
So a lot has happened the past week... but there is still that emptiness inside of me. It's like I lost that person I was two weeks ago and am just wondering the world aimlessly. I don't want to be with this girl I'm with, I don't want to drink, I don't want to live in Alaska, but I also know I don't know how to handle being with out any of those things.
Anyways, this forum just doesn't seem the same anymore. It was the one thing holding me together, but now it just doesn't have that feel anymore. I know all of you have been incredibly helpful and I'm letting everyone down, but I don't know what else to do. I'm still trying to fight the fight and not giving up completely, but I'm definitely not on the path I was two weeks ago.
I miss that!!
Tonight is the most I have drank since last week, although I have been going out almost every night to restaurants and getting couple beers, it hasn't been too much. I also went golfing, hiking two days in a row, took over my finances, got my eyes check for the first time, set up a dentist appointment, and contacted everyone of my friends that I have not talked to in over a year. It was really encouraging to hear some of the things they had to say. My fraternity buddies basically said we are brothers for life and they will be there whenever I need them. My best buddy here took it bad at first but when I talked with him he started to understand and actually was incredibly helpful and told me his story about when he hit rock bottom. It involved jail, his dad hiring lawyers, him moving in with his parents, etc. So I think when I told him my story he kind of related to it and understood exactly where I was coming from.
So a lot has happened the past week... but there is still that emptiness inside of me. It's like I lost that person I was two weeks ago and am just wondering the world aimlessly. I don't want to be with this girl I'm with, I don't want to drink, I don't want to live in Alaska, but I also know I don't know how to handle being with out any of those things.
Anyways, this forum just doesn't seem the same anymore. It was the one thing holding me together, but now it just doesn't have that feel anymore. I know all of you have been incredibly helpful and I'm letting everyone down, but I don't know what else to do. I'm still trying to fight the fight and not giving up completely, but I'm definitely not on the path I was two weeks ago.
I miss that!!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm sorry to see you struggle Paul.
We can give you all the advice and love and support in the world Paul but in the end the buck stops with you....it's your job to stay sober.
That apathy, that resignation you're feeling - even the feeling you have that things have changed - that's the addictive part of you.
It loves nothing better than inertia. It's gothing nothing to fight against.
If you were plug yourself back in here again and post more often, I'm sure you'll find all the support you found here last time
D
We can give you all the advice and love and support in the world Paul but in the end the buck stops with you....it's your job to stay sober.
That apathy, that resignation you're feeling - even the feeling you have that things have changed - that's the addictive part of you.
It loves nothing better than inertia. It's gothing nothing to fight against.
If you were plug yourself back in here again and post more often, I'm sure you'll find all the support you found here last time
D
Grateful AA member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In the middle of the woods, NJ
Posts: 567
Hi Paul, change the donts to positive words to redefine want you want out of life make a plan.
I want to remain sober instead of I dont want to drink
I want to be in a relationship with a supportive kind, compassionate, supportive partner...or whatever you want that person to be instead of what you dont want.
I would love to move to another state or country and I can I just have to make the steps no matter how small to make this happen.
You can do anything you want to just have faith and believe in yourself you can change your circumstances. Much luck to you and thanks for your post.
I want to remain sober instead of I dont want to drink
I want to be in a relationship with a supportive kind, compassionate, supportive partner...or whatever you want that person to be instead of what you dont want.
I would love to move to another state or country and I can I just have to make the steps no matter how small to make this happen.
You can do anything you want to just have faith and believe in yourself you can change your circumstances. Much luck to you and thanks for your post.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,334
Keep trying and keep posting if it helps you. When I feel disappointed in myself, it colors how I look at everything. It helps me to know that I have the power to change. I also know that a week / month / year, will pass regardless ....so why not try change?
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Hey Paul,
i didnt post in any of your threads previously for whatever reason. But I followed all your posts and related to your story.
Just wanted to say I sought out your updates tonight and sorry to hear about your continued struggles with this. Im battling some of the same things.
Hope you stick around and start updating again!
i didnt post in any of your threads previously for whatever reason. But I followed all your posts and related to your story.
Just wanted to say I sought out your updates tonight and sorry to hear about your continued struggles with this. Im battling some of the same things.
Hope you stick around and start updating again!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
paul, you havent let anyone here down. we who have recovered( no matter which method was used) know what the battle is like. we have been there. we have been trying to help you as much as possible. we have shared our experience, strength, and hope. we have been supportive of you while you have been trying it your way. we have been supportive while you have been trying the controlled drinking thing. even when it didnt work, we have been supportive. we have been here while you thought this forum was holdign you together.
now, i hope you see the path you were on 2 weeks ago led you to where you are today, so it prolly wouldnt be wise to get on that same path again.
i think this has been a good experience for you in that it should be showing you quite a bit, the major thing being controlled drinking doesnt work.even though we are supportive.
you realize you really dont know how to live and that is quite common among us, but we dont learn how until we stop drinking. we had to see our thinking got us where we were and it wasnt gonna help us. we had to use someone elses thinking.
i hope and pray you are ready and willing to start using someone elses thinking to get and stay sober. you are a child of God and worth it.
now, i hope you see the path you were on 2 weeks ago led you to where you are today, so it prolly wouldnt be wise to get on that same path again.
i think this has been a good experience for you in that it should be showing you quite a bit, the major thing being controlled drinking doesnt work.even though we are supportive.
you realize you really dont know how to live and that is quite common among us, but we dont learn how until we stop drinking. we had to see our thinking got us where we were and it wasnt gonna help us. we had to use someone elses thinking.
i hope and pray you are ready and willing to start using someone elses thinking to get and stay sober. you are a child of God and worth it.
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