Jeni26

Hi INH, well done for your post. I really hope this new decade for you can bring some positive changes. Try to view it as a new start. Living sober is SO much easier than trying to survive with that isolation and regret that drinking brings. There is nothing harder than trying to juggle life with a bottle in one hand. Early sobriety isn't easy, but look at how difficult things are for you now.
I know you and R4R can do it.
I have faith in you both xxx

Dee74

I agree with Jeni INH - I look back at the life I had as a drinker...I really don't know how I did it.

Good to see you're not giving up

D

InsertNameHere

Thanks you two, yeah not giving up just kinda worried and stressing, but that might be a good thing as last time I managed a good streak was when I was stressed out as well. I am trying to convince myself that if I don't do anything about this, one of two things will happen, either I will be in the same boat a year (or possibly more) from now or things could get much much worse. I don't think that it is possible for things to improve if I continue drinking.

Just got off work (on the night shift again for a few days) and passed the first test by not grabbing a beer, it was pretty easy considering how I have felt all night. It took a few hours till I was able to hold down anything including water. So day one is almost over lets make day two and see how bad this first week will be this time. Hopefully it will be easier as I at least know what to expect.

Have a good one all.

Dee74

it's not, mate.

D

hypochondriac

Do it now INH! I really wanted to get my sh;t sorted before I was 30 and never quite managed it. I got there before I was 31 but it isn't quite the same is it. Just for the statistics...things got a lot worse for me in a little over half a year It will be ace if you manage to quit before the big one xxx

Job, you should be proud of how far you've come! You are an inspiration x

That's great news on day one R4R x How are you feeling? x

InsertNameHere

We shall see I wanted to make this whole month beer free but that didn't sork out so well. But I am not fretting over it, I am just starting again. I have today and tomorrow solidly planned out so that I won't/can't drink so that will give me a full 48 hours to get my $h!+ together. I'll be checking in, as I always do when going dry.

R4R Kapuka, good luck in your own struggles/trying again. Determination, and perservearance, it has to count for something.

stillsleeping

Hey guys

Sorry about the absence (god that was hard to spell. what's wrong with me??) - school in the last three weeks of term is just insane here and I'm not getting home till late.

The BBQ was brilliant, Hypo, thanks for remembering No one cared that I wasn't drinking, they were sweetly curious about why, except the ones who know me well who said good. Ha! It was lovely to just eat shedloads of food (still no sweets! and damn that pavlova looked good...) and then get tired and get the train home about eleven. Just lovely.

I've got just over two weeks left at school and am exhausted, but the end is in sight, am just trying to make the most of the kids while I've still got them. We're taking the bottom half of Year 10 to the theatre to see Romeo and Juliet tomorrow evening and I can't wait. One of them asked me whether it will be real people or a cartoon. He's fifteen. It's just a different world up here...

Love you all, and totaly excited about being a lady of leisure that will be able to post and post and post!

xxx

Really4Real

Well, Hypo.... feeling pukey today.... usually hits the third day. So, it got much this time. Blood sugar.... going to try to eat a little oatmeal and some watermelon. Head kind of dizzy. At work though.... Off tomorrow for the 4th.
Kept busy last night, but it was still rough for the first day. Even more rough today. Alcoholism sucks.

Come on INH.... if I can do it, you can do it. Maybe it's when we stop thinking we can do it ourselves and reach out to people.... Someone Higher than us... that we find out there's hope and maybe, just maybe we can do this. What we were doing hasn't worked in the past, it wasn't working in the present.... how can we even think it's going to work in the future? There's gotta be something you can do to change this up a bit. You can do this! You really can.

KaP.... You in today! Let's not let it pass us by.....

Thanks Jen. I like helping

Love you all

InsertNameHere

Yeah I am not sure what I can "change things up" with just due to location, but I have to keep trying. Like a bull in a china shop haha. I am trying the old standby of spending every waking hour at work today, so far it working. I know it won't hold off forever but perhaps get me enough sober time to get past any withdrawls and get my mind a little more right. Thanks for the vote of confidence though. Its gotta get done one way or the other, it might as well be now.

Jeni26

Aaaargh!!!! Had THE most stressful day at work. Non-stop issues from the moment I got there til I left. My head is pounding. It's 9pm and I've just got in. The other Head of Dept has now gone off with stress, which means I'm now running 2 departments. This job is just so difficult.

I haven't taken refuge in a bottle though!!! Guess that's progress!

Spinach

Jen that's real progress. Don't suppose I should ask about job prospects.
Sounds like a hot bath and tea moment.
John

hypochondriac

Hold on to the thought of those summer holidays Jen. I agree with John, it's definitely a hot bath and tea time. Though tbh the best thing I find for winding down is exercise and loud music. It's why my neighbours hate me

INH...how about arbitrarily setting your confidence at 100% I know you've done lots of reading, now all you have to do is apply it x

Sorry you're not feeling great R4R, I hope the worst of it passes soon x

Glad your BBQ went well Still I can't wait til you can post and post either x

I'm a lady of leisure this week but really it amounts to reading my recovery books and generally getting my house in order!

InsertNameHere

Sucks to hear about work Jen. Hopefully a good nights sleep will help.

Hypo, yeah don't I know it. I have read about 6-7 different books on the subject and now just have to figure out what will work for me. Never been much for confidence especially without good reason to be so, but I know the quote you are talking about (I think I used it once on you hehe) and thanks.

Woke up tonight for my shift sober, so that is officially 24 hours completley sober. Standard broken sweaty sleep but I am feeling better than yesterday. Tired, but that is normal and will pass in a week or so, also nothing a redbull or two won't cure.

To all my American cohorts, have a happy 4th of July! Don't worry no drinking for me just some volleyball and a BBQ. By the time that even kicks off I will not be able to drink in preperation for my shift at work so that is convienient.

Leemzer

Checking in with everyone and just wanting to say hey.

Hypo: In two days Monkey number 2 will be 100 days! Just hit 60 with drinking.
Peace, everyone
Lee

Dee74

I'm sorry work is so difficult Jeni - hopefully you can delegate some stuff?

D

hypochondriac

Yay, well done Lee!!

Yep INH, you used that one on me once, but it was so good it became a mantra for me. Everytime I started to doubt myself it gave me a little kick up the arse Have you read the Allen Carr book? I read it years ago but it's next on my list this week. I remember the smoking one gave me loads of confidence when I quit the first time. What are your favourite recovery books so far? x

InsertNameHere

Yes Hypo I have read the Alan Carr book, I liked some of the views but not all. There is a whole discussion regarding that book in the books Forum started by Deserto. It has been a few months since i read it though. I am re-reading RR now seeing what all I can get out of it. Most of my education regarding AVRT was from a quick breeze through that book and advice I got here so I want to see if there is something I missed forgot or just didn't apply throughly enough. We shall see.

I got a random call today while I was sleeping from the Chaplin, (spiritual advisor/counselor) Though I am sure that he would have nothing but the best off intentions it makes me nervous thinking of what he might want or that he knows me at all. his best of intentions may not be in tandum with mind if you know what I mean. More than likely he will try to get ahold of me again this Thursday, I guess I will find out what he wants then. As he didn't want to wake me up so we didn't talk today he just called.

Really4Real

INH... I don't know, but I think maybe keep an open mind a bit with the counselor guy. It just might be what you need. We keep trying to do this ourselves, right? It doesn't work... so maybe we need to look outside ourselves.... just sayin Talking to me too.

How'd it go Jen?

Hey Lee, nice job on the 60!!!

hypochondriac

I was reading this the other day INH...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-rr-etc.html

You not only know this stuff you can write about it with an understanding I could only dream of! I have a more arty farty kind of brain and the AVRT stuff makes it hurt. Though what I do understand has helped me immensely.

Don't worry about the chaplain, I know a few who work in institutions and I'm pretty sure they tend to approach people randomly to give people the opportunity to ask for help if they need it. You can talk to them confidentially though can't you? x

Jeni26

Hi guys, just checking in. Work is manic, I'm really struggling at the moment through stress. Having to manage too much and it's leading to sleepless nights and dizzy spells. But....i haven't drunk for 40 days!!
Just putting one foot in front of the other at the moment, but I read here every day.
Keep going my friends xxx