Class Of June 2012
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
I'll go ahead and post in the June thread this evening ...
It's the 5:00 hour, my "bad" time of the day, but I'm doing fine. I do enjoy reading this forum; some people seem to really be getting a handle on their drinking problems. I guess I'm slow or not patient enough with myself, because it doesn't come so easily to me. Today is not bad though; my craving for alcohol is present but pretty small.
Speaking of things that make me want to drink, anyone know of a military boarding school that takes surly 13-year-old girls? ... I'm kidding ... maybe ... okay, I'm kidding ...
... or am I ... ?
It's the 5:00 hour, my "bad" time of the day, but I'm doing fine. I do enjoy reading this forum; some people seem to really be getting a handle on their drinking problems. I guess I'm slow or not patient enough with myself, because it doesn't come so easily to me. Today is not bad though; my craving for alcohol is present but pretty small.
Speaking of things that make me want to drink, anyone know of a military boarding school that takes surly 13-year-old girls? ... I'm kidding ... maybe ... okay, I'm kidding ...
... or am I ... ?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Tempe, AZ
Posts: 15
I started in May and am on my 6th day so far. It's nice knowing that there are so many others out there that can relate to what it is like to struggle with this. I'm taking it a day at a time, but I am in it for the long run.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,072
Luling-be patient with yourself, this is not an easy process. But you're not giving up, right? So, you're here and you're working on it, and be proud that you're facing the problem.
I hate this struggle, I wish it was over, but we can all get through it if we keep plugging away.
I hate this struggle, I wish it was over, but we can all get through it if we keep plugging away.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: KY
Posts: 80
Just checking in. I'm on day 8 
I'm doing well for the most part, but starting to battle some cravings. Wouldn't have drunk today, but I was starting to think about stopping my antabuse and trying to drink this weekend. Of course, that wouldn't have been good. The thought's gone now though, and I'm still committed. I will not throw away my sobriety this time.
I really don't even enjoy drinking anymore, I find it so boring now every time I do drink. It just doesn't affect me the way it used to, so there's no real point. And I really hate the way I feel the next day. So I'm going to keep taking my antabuse, no matter what cravings come, and keep on staying sober. I'm feeling really good about this, and excited about being sober! I can't wait to see what the sober life's all about, and have it become normal to me.
I'm doing well for the most part, but starting to battle some cravings. Wouldn't have drunk today, but I was starting to think about stopping my antabuse and trying to drink this weekend. Of course, that wouldn't have been good. The thought's gone now though, and I'm still committed. I will not throw away my sobriety this time.I really don't even enjoy drinking anymore, I find it so boring now every time I do drink. It just doesn't affect me the way it used to, so there's no real point. And I really hate the way I feel the next day. So I'm going to keep taking my antabuse, no matter what cravings come, and keep on staying sober. I'm feeling really good about this, and excited about being sober! I can't wait to see what the sober life's all about, and have it become normal to me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Vancouver BC Canada
Posts: 384
Hmm I hate what alcohol does to me more than the struggle. Guess that's why I am here and not out there right now.
My patience with myself right now is to not overload things and do first things first, not drink. I think a lot of things can fall into place on their own and my impatience for everything always gums up the works. No quick and easy path for most folks and I don't expect one for me either.
Reading and posting a bit on SR sure helps me keep things in perspective.
My patience with myself right now is to not overload things and do first things first, not drink. I think a lot of things can fall into place on their own and my impatience for everything always gums up the works. No quick and easy path for most folks and I don't expect one for me either.
Reading and posting a bit on SR sure helps me keep things in perspective.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 9
I've been reading this forum for a while and I think it's time I join in. I went AF in April (on Antabuse) but fell way off track in May. My last drink was May 30th. I was so hungover on the 31st I could not get my kids to school. How pathetic is that? Popped my Antabuse on the 1st and I'm doing ok. I know there will be tons of drinking opportunities this summer. I'm trying not to get overwhelmed and take it a day at a time. Or a week at a time due to the Antabuse.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by YVRguy 
Well I was in the May class but relapsed but best I get in the June club as the time I had clean in May was absolutely helped by SR.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 473
In my early days of trying to give up drinking alcohol I would have horrible thought battles in my head that seemed to rage all day. My thoughts would constantly turn to alcohol and then I would have to convince myself that I didn't want to drink.
It was then a daily battle to fight the voice that kept begging for a drink and eventually after so many days I would give in.
The problem then is that you start your recovery over again and this is a form of self torture where you are locked in a spiral of self denial and repression.
You can keep staying off the booze for a small amount of time and I kept posting on SR but all the while I hadn't truly accepted that I should start a new life drink free.
Now that I accept that if I have one beer that I am offered I will most likely follow it up with another and then another and then disappear into that drunken vodka oblivion I'm comfortable with not drinking because I know what the consequences are.
It took me a year to come to my senses but I suppose in a thirty year drinking career that is not so bad!
Now I still have that daily conversation in my head but it is different these days. It goes more like this:
"A beer, I could just do with a beer. That would be nice."
"Are you kidding me? I mean seriously WTF! WHAT IS THE POINT!!!??"
I then answer the question in my head and I see that there is no point in drinking anymore.
Everyone who is here and reading this knows that drinking is not the answer and yet we still torture ourselves for a few days by abstaining and then drinking again and then trying to give up again.
That happened to me until eventually I would go on a vodka binge, wake up in the morning not remembering what I'd done and pour whatever was left in the bottle down the sink. I've been doing this for six months or so. How pathetic is that. That is insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting different things to happen always waking up with the same result like a perverse groundhog day.
Then finally I poured the bottle away one morning and instead of answering the "I need a drink" question in my head with "oh yes that would be nice" I replaced it with "WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT!!!???".
Once I'd done that everything became so much easier. I stopped fighting with myself and accepted not that I could never drink again - I can if I want to, but that I don't WANT to drink anymore.
When I first thought I had a problem - almost a year ago - I was horrified by the thought of not drinking again and that thought was what made me have terrible mind battles and sometimes I would just go to bed to avoid drinking only to give in a day or so later.
Replacing that "I can never drink again" thought with "I can drink whenever I want to but what is the point?" thought is a subtle change but it makes all the difference between fighting a tortured thought process or accepting that there are two paths you can follow and one of them leads to a dark place.
Drinking yourself into oblivion is bad enough. But trying to recover from that and fighting your mind is doubly poisonous and leaves you exhausted - open to suggestions.
For me I accept that I can ALWAYS drink again, rather than torturing myself with NEVER AGAIN thoughts which always seemed to surface and demand attention.
Once I accepted that I could always drink again whenever I wanted but that the consequences did not warrant the beginning of the drinking process I found it much easier to stop drinking and I felt the time was right to come back to SR.
If someone had told me this in the beginning then it may have saved a lot of self agonising over the "never drink again" question. I hope this helps someone.
If you are struggling to come to terms with never drinking again like I was then try to look at it from a different angle. Accept that you can always drink. Accept it because trying to deny it takes you down a painful thought process and it is half of the thought battle that rages inside of your head.
The other half is to accept that the consequences of drinking by far negatively outweigh the benefits of not getting started in the first place.
Once you get these two thought items in place they begin to work in harmony. One side says that you can always drink but not that you "should" drink and the counter argument from the inner you is "what is the point"?
Now that I see it in these terms I find it much easier to stay sober and not crave alcohol and I'm also starting to see that I don't need alcohol to "have a good time".
In fact I had a better time at the last poker night through not drinking than I've ever had in my life because I actually made some good jokes from memory rather than crude drunken slurrings and the look on everyones faces when the "loser" on the table showed a full house was priceless.
The Ginger beer tasted good too. Especially if you put ice in it.
Right. Thankyou for listening to me my SR therapist.
I must go and do some work!
Peace and sobriety to all.
It was then a daily battle to fight the voice that kept begging for a drink and eventually after so many days I would give in.
The problem then is that you start your recovery over again and this is a form of self torture where you are locked in a spiral of self denial and repression.
You can keep staying off the booze for a small amount of time and I kept posting on SR but all the while I hadn't truly accepted that I should start a new life drink free.
Now that I accept that if I have one beer that I am offered I will most likely follow it up with another and then another and then disappear into that drunken vodka oblivion I'm comfortable with not drinking because I know what the consequences are.
It took me a year to come to my senses but I suppose in a thirty year drinking career that is not so bad!
Now I still have that daily conversation in my head but it is different these days. It goes more like this:
"A beer, I could just do with a beer. That would be nice."
"Are you kidding me? I mean seriously WTF! WHAT IS THE POINT!!!??"
I then answer the question in my head and I see that there is no point in drinking anymore.
Everyone who is here and reading this knows that drinking is not the answer and yet we still torture ourselves for a few days by abstaining and then drinking again and then trying to give up again.
That happened to me until eventually I would go on a vodka binge, wake up in the morning not remembering what I'd done and pour whatever was left in the bottle down the sink. I've been doing this for six months or so. How pathetic is that. That is insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting different things to happen always waking up with the same result like a perverse groundhog day.
Then finally I poured the bottle away one morning and instead of answering the "I need a drink" question in my head with "oh yes that would be nice" I replaced it with "WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT!!!???".
Once I'd done that everything became so much easier. I stopped fighting with myself and accepted not that I could never drink again - I can if I want to, but that I don't WANT to drink anymore.
When I first thought I had a problem - almost a year ago - I was horrified by the thought of not drinking again and that thought was what made me have terrible mind battles and sometimes I would just go to bed to avoid drinking only to give in a day or so later.
Replacing that "I can never drink again" thought with "I can drink whenever I want to but what is the point?" thought is a subtle change but it makes all the difference between fighting a tortured thought process or accepting that there are two paths you can follow and one of them leads to a dark place.
Drinking yourself into oblivion is bad enough. But trying to recover from that and fighting your mind is doubly poisonous and leaves you exhausted - open to suggestions.
For me I accept that I can ALWAYS drink again, rather than torturing myself with NEVER AGAIN thoughts which always seemed to surface and demand attention.
Once I accepted that I could always drink again whenever I wanted but that the consequences did not warrant the beginning of the drinking process I found it much easier to stop drinking and I felt the time was right to come back to SR.
If someone had told me this in the beginning then it may have saved a lot of self agonising over the "never drink again" question. I hope this helps someone.
If you are struggling to come to terms with never drinking again like I was then try to look at it from a different angle. Accept that you can always drink. Accept it because trying to deny it takes you down a painful thought process and it is half of the thought battle that rages inside of your head.
The other half is to accept that the consequences of drinking by far negatively outweigh the benefits of not getting started in the first place.
Once you get these two thought items in place they begin to work in harmony. One side says that you can always drink but not that you "should" drink and the counter argument from the inner you is "what is the point"?
Now that I see it in these terms I find it much easier to stay sober and not crave alcohol and I'm also starting to see that I don't need alcohol to "have a good time".
In fact I had a better time at the last poker night through not drinking than I've ever had in my life because I actually made some good jokes from memory rather than crude drunken slurrings and the look on everyones faces when the "loser" on the table showed a full house was priceless.
The Ginger beer tasted good too. Especially if you put ice in it.
Right. Thankyou for listening to me my SR therapist.
I must go and do some work!
Peace and sobriety to all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 43
Juner
Hi everyone, I am going to join the class of June! I will post as a newcomer to share my story and journey. Thanks again to all the warmth and love all around. I look forward to (lean on) all your support and offer my own gifts where I can.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 43
Asking for your support!
Hi everyone, I just posted a new post about my new journey. Because I have less than 15 posts, I can't link to the thread but it is called "The Art of Being Ridiculously Happy" under Newcomers.
I am asking for all your support as I quit drinking from Day 1. I am finally asking for help from the community which was what was missing the last couple of times I tried to quit. Thanks in advance!
I am asking for all your support as I quit drinking from Day 1. I am finally asking for help from the community which was what was missing the last couple of times I tried to quit. Thanks in advance!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by sandra756
Hi everyone, I am going to join the class of June! I will post as a newcomer to share my story and journey. Thanks again to all the warmth and love all around. I look forward to (lean on) all your support and offer my own gifts where I can.
Hi Sandra! Welcome to our Class!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
I'm having a pretty severe eczema outbreak on my hands and feet, which started right after I decided to go sober. I only have outbreaks when I'm stressed, and this is my worst outbreak ever. It's even worse than my first year of teaching at an inner city middle school. I didn't think I was that stressed out, at least not enough to warrant an outbreak like this, I'm just restless and agitated in the evenings. I don't know, it's just weird. No big deal though; no one ever died of eczema.
It's a good day today; I'm actually feeling sane -- not too up, not too down. I'm probably going to take the kids out for a while, them maybe spend some time with my nose in a book later.
It's a good day today; I'm actually feeling sane -- not too up, not too down. I'm probably going to take the kids out for a while, them maybe spend some time with my nose in a book later.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 473
Hi Luling,
I suffer from Psoriasis and on my sixth day of not drinking I had a real bad attack on my hands and ankles. Since then it has started to clear up everywhere noticeably so hopefully for you it will get worse before getting betting as well.
I suffer from Psoriasis and on my sixth day of not drinking I had a real bad attack on my hands and ankles. Since then it has started to clear up everywhere noticeably so hopefully for you it will get worse before getting betting as well.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 43
Hi all, it is still Day 1 for me although it feels like an eternity. I have been anxious all day (not sure related to withdrawal or not) but now am feeling a little more grounded after I have:
- set some small goals for these 2 months about living well and taking care of myself (exercising, meditating, etc)
- fed myself some of my favorite comfort food
- drank a lot of water
- trying to live with a good routine and time structure despite the fact that I am on the road on a business trip half across the globe (ie stop working at 5pm, dinner at proper time etc).
- set some small goals for these 2 months about living well and taking care of myself (exercising, meditating, etc)
- fed myself some of my favorite comfort food
- drank a lot of water
- trying to live with a good routine and time structure despite the fact that I am on the road on a business trip half across the globe (ie stop working at 5pm, dinner at proper time etc).
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