Class Of January 2012 Part 6
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
NBC, I love cooking & baking, just not the clean up.
Billy, that sounds fab! Wish I could see what you're seeing.
Haven't been able to get on much. Ive been so busy working. Got a 3 day weekend & really need it. The beast has started up again. I guess I was naive to think it would leave me alone. After working my tail off at home & work, AV is like you're ok, you've gone 3 1/2 mos. just one night would be nice.
Argh! Die beast die! I'm happy & content. Why must you try to sweet talk me? Wretched evil nasty thing.
I will never drink again.
Happy Soberlicious weekend all!
Billy, that sounds fab! Wish I could see what you're seeing.
Haven't been able to get on much. Ive been so busy working. Got a 3 day weekend & really need it. The beast has started up again. I guess I was naive to think it would leave me alone. After working my tail off at home & work, AV is like you're ok, you've gone 3 1/2 mos. just one night would be nice.
Argh! Die beast die! I'm happy & content. Why must you try to sweet talk me? Wretched evil nasty thing.
I will never drink again.
Happy Soberlicious weekend all!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 802
Lol be strong PLC, my beast driving me nuts also on this bank holiday weekend.
Have a fund raising cycle on which basically means a big **** up for everyone, i have my escape plan ready to get me through it.
Happy weekend all
Have a fund raising cycle on which basically means a big **** up for everyone, i have my escape plan ready to get me through it.
Happy weekend all
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 274
Billy, glad to hear you are enjoying the mint tea in Scotland :-)
PLC, hang in there girl, that sweet talking beast has nothing but sorrow and misery in hiding. Know how you are feeling as I have had a bad and strange week of jut not enjoying my sobriety and almost thinking that drinking myself to death might just be easier then going through this recovery process. Absolutely seriously insanely messed up to even get such thoughts but a nice bar of chocolate seems to be a good cure and this to shall pass and the feeling of sobriety bliss will return.
Cunning, baffling and powerful is the voice of alcohol but we are learning the tricks to shut that sucker out
Take care and I hope you have a good weekend!
PLC, hang in there girl, that sweet talking beast has nothing but sorrow and misery in hiding. Know how you are feeling as I have had a bad and strange week of jut not enjoying my sobriety and almost thinking that drinking myself to death might just be easier then going through this recovery process. Absolutely seriously insanely messed up to even get such thoughts but a nice bar of chocolate seems to be a good cure and this to shall pass and the feeling of sobriety bliss will return.
Cunning, baffling and powerful is the voice of alcohol but we are learning the tricks to shut that sucker out
Take care and I hope you have a good weekend!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Home - there's no place like Home
Posts: 974
I wonder if there is some 16 week phenom that gets us all to doubt our disease. I find myself talking to myself and saying do not project into the distant future, just live in the moment as much as possible. The thought of going on a cruise or to a tropical paradise and not drinking is very hard to swallow (no pun intended). Then again, the thought of going on a cruise or to a tropical paradise is not even a remote option so why am I obsessing over this? 
Drop the control and walk away, Tammi. Happy weekend, gang!! :-)
Drop the control and walk away, Tammi. Happy weekend, gang!! :-)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
End of day 113 and weekend looms, got nice friends coming tomorrow they drink very little so not really a problem. Still dark grey and damp here in London, think one day may see some blue sky again, oh I can dream. Lets push forward to 200 days and torture the beast !
God's work in progress
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 515
Gosh, I've been off here too long...so many posts I want to respond to, but my energy is really waning.
I've been having a rough time this past week. Not so much with cravings, just life stuff. My teenage daughter has been really pushing my buttons, as she has now become completely boy-crazy. My hubby has a bunch of medical issues and is having another surgery next week.
As much as I am definitely more calm and level-headed these days, I still find it really really hard to take things in stride without worrying myself to death. Something I hope to get better at as I become stronger in my sobriety.
NBC, I wish I could find Sapling's link about the "cycles" of sobriety. It was really interesting and made a lot of sense. In essence, the speaker talks about the cycles of growth in sobriety as compared to the seasons in nature...Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. If we believe this, most of us will be entering our next "season" at this stage, and this may account for changes we are feeling.
Anyway, hoping to have a restful weekend as I am just feeling drained tonight...more emotionally than physically.
Love and hugs to all my amazing sober comrades xo
I've been having a rough time this past week. Not so much with cravings, just life stuff. My teenage daughter has been really pushing my buttons, as she has now become completely boy-crazy. My hubby has a bunch of medical issues and is having another surgery next week.
As much as I am definitely more calm and level-headed these days, I still find it really really hard to take things in stride without worrying myself to death. Something I hope to get better at as I become stronger in my sobriety.
NBC, I wish I could find Sapling's link about the "cycles" of sobriety. It was really interesting and made a lot of sense. In essence, the speaker talks about the cycles of growth in sobriety as compared to the seasons in nature...Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. If we believe this, most of us will be entering our next "season" at this stage, and this may account for changes we are feeling.
Anyway, hoping to have a restful weekend as I am just feeling drained tonight...more emotionally than physically.
Love and hugs to all my amazing sober comrades xo
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
NBC, I do believe there is something to the milestone stuff, Dee posted once about it.
I just wanted to be a big baby today & throw a tantrum. Why me? Why us? I'm mad at myself for getting me into this pickle.
Ok tantrum over. I guess ice cream, cakes & pies will be the death of me now
DD, I really hope the sun shines for you soon. Is that why you chose the name Dark Days? Or was it your state of mind at the time?
Lol @ torturing the Beast! Wish we could have a Beast BBQ & pour tea on his head & laugh!! Oh I'm twisted.
Love y'all
Nel, find anything garage saling?
I just wanted to be a big baby today & throw a tantrum. Why me? Why us? I'm mad at myself for getting me into this pickle.
Ok tantrum over. I guess ice cream, cakes & pies will be the death of me now
DD, I really hope the sun shines for you soon. Is that why you chose the name Dark Days? Or was it your state of mind at the time?
Lol @ torturing the Beast! Wish we could have a Beast BBQ & pour tea on his head & laugh!! Oh I'm twisted.
Love y'all
Nel, find anything garage saling?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
Face it, when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot & hang on!
Hang in there, I have to remind myself that 99% of what we worry about NEVER happens. And my fall back when that doesn't work is the Serenity Prayer.
Hang in there, I have to remind myself that 99% of what we worry about NEVER happens. And my fall back when that doesn't work is the Serenity Prayer.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Spinning happily in my hula hoop
Posts: 2,618
[IMG]
[/IMG]PCL, I have found some good stuff, I came up with the idea of using a pack-n-play for my Yorkie (Jaxs) in our RV while we are out site seeing. I think its better then his kennel and wont be to depressing...I don't know will find out our first trip out. Found a old oak mirror/shelve last week,I think it came of a old buffet table or something,It has holes on the top and bottom where you can tell it was attach but I covered them up with my decorations, its pretty cool. Love to decorate with my treasure that way when I get bored and want to change I'm not wasting money...(umm that was funny since I use to waste it on drinking..lol) Found Jaxs a nice wicker almost new bed which was nice and a few collectibles...love this time of year! Here a pic...I'm working now to decorate around it alittle I bout a few things today but it takes me awhile to form a idea.
[/IMG]PCL, I have found some good stuff, I came up with the idea of using a pack-n-play for my Yorkie (Jaxs) in our RV while we are out site seeing. I think its better then his kennel and wont be to depressing...I don't know will find out our first trip out. Found a old oak mirror/shelve last week,I think it came of a old buffet table or something,It has holes on the top and bottom where you can tell it was attach but I covered them up with my decorations, its pretty cool. Love to decorate with my treasure that way when I get bored and want to change I'm not wasting money...(umm that was funny since I use to waste it on drinking..lol) Found Jaxs a nice wicker almost new bed which was nice and a few collectibles...love this time of year! Here a pic...I'm working now to decorate around it alittle I bout a few things today but it takes me awhile to form a idea.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
Nel, very nice! Beautiful, Doesnt look used. I'm not creative enough for that.
Good idea for lil doggie.
I think the summer approaching, floating in the pool w/out a drink, is what's got my AV stirring. I got used to winter w/out alcohol. Now we have to get they this new set of things w/ out drinking to show ourselves, yeah it can be done.
Paving new roads. Blazing new trails.
Let's do it w/excitement. Let's not fear the unknown but embrace it & know that we will get thru victorious.
We've gotten this far, we can go indefinitely.
We rock! Nite all.
Good idea for lil doggie.
I think the summer approaching, floating in the pool w/out a drink, is what's got my AV stirring. I got used to winter w/out alcohol. Now we have to get they this new set of things w/ out drinking to show ourselves, yeah it can be done.
Paving new roads. Blazing new trails.
Let's do it w/excitement. Let's not fear the unknown but embrace it & know that we will get thru victorious.
We've gotten this far, we can go indefinitely.
We rock! Nite all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Spinning happily in my hula hoop
Posts: 2,618
Heres my before and after of the family room...omg its amazing what paint can do!!! I think..it was my early days of being sober, labor of love...lol[IMG]
[/IMG] Nothing fancy just paint we tore down walls, found pink wall and painted the white fireplace!![IMG]
[/IMG]
[/IMG] Nothing fancy just paint we tore down walls, found pink wall and painted the white fireplace!![IMG][/IMG]
God's work in progress
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 515
Originally Posted by Purplecatlover 
Face it, when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot & hang on!
Hang in there, I have to remind myself that 99% of what we worry about NEVER happens. And my fall back when that doesn't work is the Serenity Prayer.
Hang in there, I have to remind myself that 99% of what we worry about NEVER happens. And my fall back when that doesn't work is the Serenity Prayer.
Love your arrangement Nel! Amazing what you can do with yard sale finds. Years ago (before kids) hubby and I would go "hunting" every weekend in the Spring. Found some great stuff.
NBC and PCL, I'm right there with ya on the sweets. Just finished a big bowl of choc peanut butter cup ice cream. Yummy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 274
Good morning class
Great work Nel, looks like a warm home where you just don't want to leave at the end of the night :-)
I wanted to share something with you, a documentary I watched last night called The Living Matrix - The Science of Healing which I found really powerful. Now if you Google it you can watch it online through various outlets and I would highly recommend it. It is basically a look at quantum physics and it has a lot of complicated stuff which is to scientific for me to properly understand but what I found so powerful about it is the talk about intent and how that effects our healing. How the energy within our body responds to belief and intent and how that is affected by the nature of my thinking, positive or negative.
What I really connected with is my current concept of alcoholism being an incurable disease, I have been thought now through AA that it cannot be cured but I can keep my sanity by working the program and going to meetings as such and looking at the wonderful people in AA that is something I would need to do for the rest of my life, one day at a time to not start drinking again. That has not really clicked for me as I happily accept that I will not be able to drink again, I do not want to drink again because of the effects it has on my person and my life, but at the same time I do not want to be defined by this disease for the rest of my life. Part of my frustrations the last week has been that I am so tired of recovery being my 24/7 obsession, I think about how to get better all the time, I dream of alcoholism and it is just there in everything I do. I somehow just want to move on with my life and be happy, joyous and free, excited about this new life I have and all the possibilities there are in life now.
So, this is getting a bit long :-) What my point finally is that this documentary helped me to understand that intent and believing are very crucial to my healing, regardless of what I choose to believe in will work for me. So I have decided to believe that my Higher Power has cured me of this disease with the disease being me wanting to drink although I do not want to drink, and that being all powerful there are no conditions on that except I must believe that. It is not going to be a struggle one day at a time for the rest of my life but I just have to start living the rest of my life and not to be defined in my thoughts and actions as to how I have been living in the past.
I think it was you NBC who mentioned cell generation the other day and we do completely regenerate every cell in our body within a 7 year timeframe and they work on memory in that process. For me it is time to give my cells some new memories and strangely enough like this documentary is showing, these memories/ information, not just can be, but are created by my own thoughts. I choose to believe that I am not an incurable alcoholic who will manage this disease one day at a time, I am a free person and my body will regenerate based on the person and lifestyle I am today and not that one of 3 months ago.
I just think I have finally found something that will work for me, because regardless of what I believe in, it is the believing in it which is the key. Although I will not be believing in AA as a program for me for the rest of my life the fellowship has thought me an abundance of lessons and I am eternally grateful for that….
Tjooof! This was a long post, look forward to hear your thoughts- disagreements/ agreement and such :-)
Great work Nel, looks like a warm home where you just don't want to leave at the end of the night :-)
I wanted to share something with you, a documentary I watched last night called The Living Matrix - The Science of Healing which I found really powerful. Now if you Google it you can watch it online through various outlets and I would highly recommend it. It is basically a look at quantum physics and it has a lot of complicated stuff which is to scientific for me to properly understand but what I found so powerful about it is the talk about intent and how that effects our healing. How the energy within our body responds to belief and intent and how that is affected by the nature of my thinking, positive or negative.
What I really connected with is my current concept of alcoholism being an incurable disease, I have been thought now through AA that it cannot be cured but I can keep my sanity by working the program and going to meetings as such and looking at the wonderful people in AA that is something I would need to do for the rest of my life, one day at a time to not start drinking again. That has not really clicked for me as I happily accept that I will not be able to drink again, I do not want to drink again because of the effects it has on my person and my life, but at the same time I do not want to be defined by this disease for the rest of my life. Part of my frustrations the last week has been that I am so tired of recovery being my 24/7 obsession, I think about how to get better all the time, I dream of alcoholism and it is just there in everything I do. I somehow just want to move on with my life and be happy, joyous and free, excited about this new life I have and all the possibilities there are in life now.
So, this is getting a bit long :-) What my point finally is that this documentary helped me to understand that intent and believing are very crucial to my healing, regardless of what I choose to believe in will work for me. So I have decided to believe that my Higher Power has cured me of this disease with the disease being me wanting to drink although I do not want to drink, and that being all powerful there are no conditions on that except I must believe that. It is not going to be a struggle one day at a time for the rest of my life but I just have to start living the rest of my life and not to be defined in my thoughts and actions as to how I have been living in the past.
I think it was you NBC who mentioned cell generation the other day and we do completely regenerate every cell in our body within a 7 year timeframe and they work on memory in that process. For me it is time to give my cells some new memories and strangely enough like this documentary is showing, these memories/ information, not just can be, but are created by my own thoughts. I choose to believe that I am not an incurable alcoholic who will manage this disease one day at a time, I am a free person and my body will regenerate based on the person and lifestyle I am today and not that one of 3 months ago.
I just think I have finally found something that will work for me, because regardless of what I believe in, it is the believing in it which is the key. Although I will not be believing in AA as a program for me for the rest of my life the fellowship has thought me an abundance of lessons and I am eternally grateful for that….
Tjooof! This was a long post, look forward to hear your thoughts- disagreements/ agreement and such :-)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Lovely Pic Billy Boy ! Cant think how many times I have woken up in a death like state after a wedding , never having any recollections of the night before and in fear of who i upset etc etc.
Plus Great work Nel
Plus Great work Nel
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 732
I'm relieved to hear my classmates are having some "4 month" struggles also, I was beginning to think I was going crazy! I almost cried yesterday because I felt so sorry for myself that I couldn't have a glass of wine. How silly! I like the idea of beating down the "beast" I'll have to do some visualization techniques next time he rears his head and roars. The funny thing is, my husband and I went out to eat and I was fine without the wine. My emotions are all over the place. On the other hand, I feel proud of myself that I got through another Friday evening and I'm feeling good this morning. I wish a great weekend to my classmates!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
