Class Of January 2012 Part 5
God's work in progress
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 515
Hang in there, DD. When I get moody, I remind myself that I am feeling things now, and feelings are perfectly normal. I spent way too much time during my drinking days deliberately numbing myself to everything; now I almost welcome my feelings, even if they are upsetting or painful. And honestly, I am also somewhat withdrawing from people and events involving alcohol. Right now I am comfortable spending time alone or with family and nurturing my sobriety.
Had a wonderful Easter weekend, btw. We attended an Easter vigil service last night and spent today planting and doing yard work. I then managed to cook an Easter dinner for the family. This 51yo body is completely wiped! But it felt really good, really gratifying without needing to "reward" myself with a 12 pack of beer or 2 bottles of wine. I did have thoughts of alcohol today, but as PCL mentioned, I recognized them as my mind associating the holiday with what I had always done in the past.
I'm proud to report that my only "hangover" tomorrow will be the muscle aches reminding me of a day well-spent, not wasted away. And for that I am truly grateful!
Wishing you all a wonderful, sober Monday. And, as always...
Had a wonderful Easter weekend, btw. We attended an Easter vigil service last night and spent today planting and doing yard work. I then managed to cook an Easter dinner for the family. This 51yo body is completely wiped! But it felt really good, really gratifying without needing to "reward" myself with a 12 pack of beer or 2 bottles of wine. I did have thoughts of alcohol today, but as PCL mentioned, I recognized them as my mind associating the holiday with what I had always done in the past.
I'm proud to report that my only "hangover" tomorrow will be the muscle aches reminding me of a day well-spent, not wasted away. And for that I am truly grateful!
Wishing you all a wonderful, sober Monday. And, as always...
So it goes
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,620
Hi dd hang in there. As Dee says alcohol numbs you. Your feelings remind you you are human.
Face it what a lovely day you had. It is so good to be sober.
Dee I see you too are a kv fan !
Have a good day all wet horrid and windy here. Typical English bank holiday!
Face it what a lovely day you had. It is so good to be sober.
Dee I see you too are a kv fan !
Have a good day all wet horrid and windy here. Typical English bank holiday!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Home - there's no place like Home
Posts: 974
Loved reading of all the celebrations sans alcohol. Y'all did amazing! DD, don't dispair - I understand how you are feeling. We are no longer numb. We feel, we are also recovering from those so called "good times" that took a toll on us. I admire your ability to even attempt to be around those who drink. I cannot do it yet. I certainly miss out on doing things because of that type of environment but it is my choice. I would rather hang at home in my sweats than tempt myself. I also work in a casino running a 24 hour restaurant and after 10 hours of daily dealing with the public I rather enjoy the peace and solitude. I am so proud of all of us - look how far we've come. Let's keep it going! Love and hugs, Tammi
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
We all have good days & bad days.
Normal people have good days & bad days.
I'm not sure if it's just a normal thing & we look for something to blame it on b/c we don't understand what's going on.
We haven't been ourselves for so long. Everything is foreign. Emotions are alien. But I have learned to embrace the good & the bad. I dont like the bad. But it shows me, I'm healing, learning to live again. I'm not hiding. I'm facing fears even though I'm scared.
I'm overcoming problems, instead of problems overcoming me. Uncomfortable at times? yes. Yet, I wouldn't trade it for anything. This is what it means to live, to achieve, to overcome, to grow, to learn & mature.
Be good to yourself, take things slow. Balance life where it needs balancing.
Take a step back when you need to.
Listen to what your body & mind need.
Sometimes, all you need is time, sleep & the next day is totally opposite than the previous. And you think, whatever, I survived.... I'm not the same person today that I was yesterday. You've learned through having a down day, that it's survivable, it ends & you grow stronger. Just my opinion
Normal people have good days & bad days.
I'm not sure if it's just a normal thing & we look for something to blame it on b/c we don't understand what's going on.
We haven't been ourselves for so long. Everything is foreign. Emotions are alien. But I have learned to embrace the good & the bad. I dont like the bad. But it shows me, I'm healing, learning to live again. I'm not hiding. I'm facing fears even though I'm scared.
I'm overcoming problems, instead of problems overcoming me. Uncomfortable at times? yes. Yet, I wouldn't trade it for anything. This is what it means to live, to achieve, to overcome, to grow, to learn & mature.
Be good to yourself, take things slow. Balance life where it needs balancing.
Take a step back when you need to.
Listen to what your body & mind need.
Sometimes, all you need is time, sleep & the next day is totally opposite than the previous. And you think, whatever, I survived.... I'm not the same person today that I was yesterday. You've learned through having a down day, that it's survivable, it ends & you grow stronger. Just my opinion
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Spinning happily in my hula hoop
Posts: 2,618
Hey class just checking in too, hope everyone is having a great Monday! I kinda feel wore out from the holiday weekend! Gonna try to have a yard sale this week depends on the weather lots to do!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 274
Hi class
Just came back from a lovely meeting which turned out to be a 5th step meeting which gave me the courage to finally call and ask a lovely woman I met in AA to be my sponsor. Have been wanting to do that for a while but I was so afraid she would say no so I have been procrastinating... Not only did she say yes but she also thanked me for asking and I am on cloud 9!
Feel like I am making progress....thank you all for being such an enormous part in this journey of mine
Just came back from a lovely meeting which turned out to be a 5th step meeting which gave me the courage to finally call and ask a lovely woman I met in AA to be my sponsor. Have been wanting to do that for a while but I was so afraid she would say no so I have been procrastinating... Not only did she say yes but she also thanked me for asking and I am on cloud 9!
Feel like I am making progress....thank you all for being such an enormous part in this journey of mine
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 732
I have also been feeling down lately and couldn't figure out why so I appreciate everyone's input. So I guess it's OK to have negative feels sometimes, what a concept! I also find my husband is very aggravating sometimes, he complains about everything and rants and raves and is crabby. I love him and we've been married for 31 years but not drinking makes you really pay attention to things and he's driving me crazy. This might be a problem I have to try and solve since I can't drink it away! I hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Spinning happily in my hula hoop
Posts: 2,618
Katrinka, could it be from the holiday? Maybe your just a little fizzled out from it. I know me and my husband will get along for weeks wonderfully then all of a sudden anything we say or do were getting on each other last nerve...I think alot of it is just the way a relationship can be. It is wonderful you have been married for 31 years! I hope you get feeling better Katrinka ...sorry I'm not much help. I tend to get my moods because I'm going thru peri menopause...man oh man..sometimes when I am in a pms mood my head spins around like I'm possessed as I am spewing rants at my husband, he forms a cross with his fingers and backs out of the room slowly....lol....Did you see PCL post from today it may help you, it is a pretty awesome post, definitely right on.....Keep your chin up girlie! 
....Congrats to you Limbo and PCL loved your post, so wish I could articulate my thoughts and convey them like that . Maybe with time I will be able to ~~Awesome January mates have a good night.~~
....Congrats to you Limbo and PCL loved your post, so wish I could articulate my thoughts and convey them like that . Maybe with time I will be able to ~~Awesome January mates have a good night.~~
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 35
Hello class,
Not been on in a while but things are going quite well for me at the moment. Going to regular AA meetings, seeing a counsellor and putting a lot of work into me I suppose. Some days are better than others but dealing with life and whatever's thrown in front of me is a challenge. It's learning to live in a new way and it's a work in progress, I'm a work in progress. It's not all positive but it's a hell of a lot better than around Christmas time when I was at jumping off point. Enjoy ye're journey and enjoy life. Later people.
Not been on in a while but things are going quite well for me at the moment. Going to regular AA meetings, seeing a counsellor and putting a lot of work into me I suppose. Some days are better than others but dealing with life and whatever's thrown in front of me is a challenge. It's learning to live in a new way and it's a work in progress, I'm a work in progress. It's not all positive but it's a hell of a lot better than around Christmas time when I was at jumping off point. Enjoy ye're journey and enjoy life. Later people.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Scraped through to 90 days. Last couple of days back to feeling detached from everything with little or no intrest in anything. Went out for meal with wife and daughter tonight, seemed like everyone was drinking round me, we then went to see blood brothers in the west end, again bar was packed before show and even a couple brought there wine glasses in to the show with them and sat right in front of us FFs..the smell of alcohol is so strong when you are sober. Going to grind this period out, batten down the hatches and become a recluse for a while, being sober is my main priority , really struggling to deal with the av and I am becoming obsessed with noticing drink around me or in adverts posters etc, like the world is becoming crazed with it. Have a good week all .
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
'Anniversaries' can be a little rough sometimes...for some reason PAWs can tend to kick in then for some of us...
PAWS | Digital Dharma
I think it's important to remember too - every one has down days or off periods
Having said that it's good to be self aware
Maybe you need to do what I did - keep working on building that sober life that's better than the one your AV is trying to tell you other people are having, DD?
D
PAWS | Digital Dharma
I think it's important to remember too - every one has down days or off periods
Having said that it's good to be self aware
I am becoming obsessed with noticing drink around me or in adverts posters etc, like the world is becoming crazed with it
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
DD, I'm sorry you are struggling. You know the beast only wants to drag you back to hell. Don't fall for his lies. It's all BS. Alcohol sucks, makes us miserable, entraps us in prison, makes us hate ourselves. The "aahhh" moment only lasts moments, but the aftermath & suffering lasts 10 times as long. Not worth it.
It is hard to see others drinking happily "normally". It's not fair "we"can't be like them. But there are far worse things that could happen to us or not happen to us.
You made it to 90 days man, that is huge!!! Congrats! Feel good about that. Remember when you couldn't string a week together? You've come along way & there's no need to look back. Tomorrow is a new day.
Maybe, take a break from outings where alcohol is until you've processed your feelings.
Hang in there, it will pass
It is hard to see others drinking happily "normally". It's not fair "we"can't be like them. But there are far worse things that could happen to us or not happen to us.
You made it to 90 days man, that is huge!!! Congrats! Feel good about that. Remember when you couldn't string a week together? You've come along way & there's no need to look back. Tomorrow is a new day.
Maybe, take a break from outings where alcohol is until you've processed your feelings.
Hang in there, it will pass
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 274
Hey class
DD, sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. Are you following any program to help you through this time?
I agree with you all on the ups and downs and the good days and the bad. I remember coming into this wanting to feel again and it takes time getting used to emotions but I am very happy I have them again, the light is slowly being switched back on in my soul, on both the good and the bad I guess.
Feels like every day it gets a bit better as long as I keep doing the work, told my best friend tonight about this whole thing and what I am going through and that just feels wonderful! Letting go of this secret of mine is hard work but I keep being reminded about the importance of honesty, absolute honesty is the only way for me to get through this.
Have a wonderful day/night everyone :-)
DD, sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. Are you following any program to help you through this time?
I agree with you all on the ups and downs and the good days and the bad. I remember coming into this wanting to feel again and it takes time getting used to emotions but I am very happy I have them again, the light is slowly being switched back on in my soul, on both the good and the bad I guess.
Feels like every day it gets a bit better as long as I keep doing the work, told my best friend tonight about this whole thing and what I am going through and that just feels wonderful! Letting go of this secret of mine is hard work but I keep being reminded about the importance of honesty, absolute honesty is the only way for me to get through this.
Have a wonderful day/night everyone :-)
God's work in progress
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 515
I empathize with you, Katrinka. Seems like every irksome thing my husband or kids do is magnified somewhat, now that I am thinking more clearly and no longer numbing my feelings. I realize this is part of the journey...No quick resolution, but I know I will be present for whatever comes my way, good or bad.
Congrats on the 100 days Nel! Woo hoo, you go girl!
Nice to hear from you Dill, glad things are going well...
DarkDays, I read one thing in your post that speaks volumes..."being sober is my main priority"...stay strong, you will pull through this!
PCL, well-spoken words of wisdom and inspiration, thank you
Congrats on the 100 days Nel! Woo hoo, you go girl!
Nice to hear from you Dill, glad things are going well...
DarkDays, I read one thing in your post that speaks volumes..."being sober is my main priority"...stay strong, you will pull through this!
PCL, well-spoken words of wisdom and inspiration, thank you
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
What would i do without you guys/gals? Thank you all very much, feel better today, watched an amazing movie late last night "sophie scholl" puts my problems of not drinking and my problems to rest. Been for run, day off work going to london for poker tournament tonight, so nice day planned. Thanks again jan gang!
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