kam00096

Hi everyone. Have got a bit of a dilemma. Just got a last minute invite to a wedding reception tomorrow night and I really want to go. The thought of drinking still turns my stomach and I've no problems with just telling people I'm not drinking, also I'm on tablets that mean I can't drink so I don't see me having a problem (my drinking was always an anxiety thing about being sick and now that the tablets have kicked in I don't feel I need to self medicate). The worry is that my folks are really unhappy about me going. I feel that I need to be able to make my own decision about it but I can totally understand their concerns. I even suggested getting a breathalyser so they can check me when I come in but they say that they'll be able to tell. The trouble with that it that there's been times when I really haven't had a drink at all and they've thought I had. Don't want any more drama at home but at the same time if I go, don't drink and come back stone cold sober it might be a good thing for all of us.

EternalQ

Hi Kam,

Sounds like you have a clash of two.important values. On the one hand, you know you need to get out, be more autonomous, and show yourself that you can stay in control and still have fun and be sober the whole while. On the other hand, you seem to also feel a need to reassure your parents that you are trustworthy, and soothe their anxiety.

I am wondering, is it more the ramifications that came out of your drinking that worries your folks? Can you reassure them about that? Also wondering when do your folks think they would be ready to.let you fly free? Because the only way out of their worries is to in fact see you behave differently out there in the world...

Of course as someone who lives alone, and probably has a daughter older then you, i think you should go if thats what you want. BUT if it is important to you to ease your parents concerns, maybe you could call them at various points in the evening to check in about your sobriety. Like a sober checkpoint. Or, you could buy a breathelizer, and if they dont believe you were not drinking, use it to show them.

I dont believe in giving advice, so dont take it as such. I am just helping you to brainstorm ideas...

kam00096

Thank you EternalQ! I really appreciate the help! Have said I'll go but that I'll call/ text them throughout the evening. Seems to be a good compromise. Now I just have to work out what to wear - haven't been out of my jeans in months Hope you've had a good day (and the same to the rest of the Feb groupers!)

EternalQ

Hi all,

Congrats everyone, on all your strength and resilience.

As for me, i had great success with the electrician today. Had new light fixtures put in and other things fixed. But I noticed I started craving a drink when.he left and feeling agitated and this has continued for a couple.hours now. I feel like I cant sit.back and enjoy looking at something without a drink in my hand.

I feel like gasping for air. I tried to sit with it for awhile, and notice each thought as it came.by. And all I can say is, that I am.lonely. And I've probably been lonely but would drink.before I could be aware.of.it. Drinking was.my company in my own home. I am surprised to find how lonely I am, and Im mad also, because I don't want to be lonely in my home. I like living alone.

But apparently, I am lonely, and if I don't drink, then I'm going to have to do something, because feeling lonely feels very sad, and helpless.

I also don't know what to do with all this time I have. I mean, it is not.like i don't have ideas, or lots to do, but, without drinking, i don.t know when my rest times are, and how to relax without a drink, without being lonely. Theres that stupid lonely word again!!

Dee74

I was lonely all my life EQ - what helped me was working on myself & learning to be comfortable with who I am - paradoxically I had to spend a lot of alone time with myself to do that, but it really changed my outlook because I'd always felt uncomfortable in my own company before...I often didn't really like myself very much.

stay with it DA

I hope those who haven't checked in for a while will check in again soon

D

EternalQ

Thanks, D.

I like spending time alone. Always have since I was a kid. I like to depend on myself.

What I don't like is the feeling of needing and depending on others. Apparently i thought it was okay to need and depend on alcohol.... Now I need and depend on SR...

I don't like seeing myself As needy and dependent, but, I guess that is what you are saying? That there are parts of me that I am not comfortable with?



Okay, okay, I get it.

Dee74

we're none of us perfect - all a work in progress

D

Orbea

Rochele I am still here... Boy calling!

EternalQ

So I was obsessing about when will i have my first day of not craving a drink? No longer constant but still everyday some extreme urges that are like arm wrestling myself.

I realize I am disgusted with my dependency. But self~loathing about my dependencies is not helping.

So apparently I will get to know these parts of myself that I dont like. Yuck. I guess when I dont judge my dependent cravings, they will be less powerful. I guess I have to accept my dependent cravings. Invite them to dinner...

I guess I am not above this. Ooops, I guess I have to face my narcissism too. What a clown car my shadow sides are.

I hate that I needed to write and send this in.order to feel.better. It is embaressing. Just send me your bill, y'all!

EternalQ

Orbea. You are missed.
All the others, you are missed also.
Hope to hear from you all soon!

Dee74

I found it easier on me to remember - I wasn't waiting for recovery to happen to me - recovery is the journey not a destination...

none of us is where we used to be...you're already underway EQ

D

EternalQ

Ok,that is good advice... I will try to embrace the process not the destination..

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

Jojo1965

Hi Guys!

Haven't checked in in a while. Thought I'd stop by and say hello. I'm on day 18. I had lost count because I don't focus on it any more. I tend to focus on just getting through the day. Triggers are still there but quite fleeting. Started working out again and it's helping. I'm getting such great sleep now it's shocking. Asleep by 10:30-11:00 and I wake up without an alarm any where between 6:00-6:30 AM, even on weekends. I didn't know I was a morning person but I really love it. I'm still in awe to wake up refreshed and not puking sick with a hang over. I have energy and the basic stuff isn't an effort anymore.

Only have a few minutes right now but plan on sitting with a coffee and reading all the posts tomorrow.

Much gratitude to all my pals in this forum.

Jo

BoozeFree

Hi guys

Congrats on the 3 weeks EQ!

And way to go Johnny!

I am tired! My co workers are all sick and I'm hoping I don't get it too! I've felt very emotional today like almost on the verge of crying and I'm not sure why. Going to go to sleep. Tomorrows a new day!

NYC34

Hi everyone, I'm new to this and on day 1! It sucks, my withdrawal symptoms are terrible and wondering how people endure this 7 or 10 or 14 days or more.

EternalQ

One day or hour at a time NYC.

Read back through the class threads and you will see that you are not alone.Your clearer life is up ahead just a bit. Let SR help you recognize the landmarks.

Don't give up. It gets better! You.ve made a great start by writing. Keep at it!

neuromancer

Hello NYC34.
Yes, Day One is a tough one. I believe withdrawal is different for many, but for me, Days One - Four were brutal. Make sure you drink plenty of water. Plan on having trouble sleeping for a few days. It does get better. Depending upon your previous use of alcohol, you may want to consult a Dr. Withdrawal from alcohol can be very serious. Just realize this and if you get to feeling worse, consult a Dr.

I didn't know this, until recently, and I forged ahead cold turkey without medical assistance. In my case, it was not smart. I have high blood pressure to begin with. I survived.

I found that reading posts here really helped me. Good luck to you and you can do it.

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
— Friedrich Nietzsche

Dee74

some great advice here NYC
It's not easy - but then neither is the drinking lives we had either, right?

I think all of us wonder initially if we can do it - but it really is possible - use the support and ideas you'll find here NYC

you can do this
D

EternalQ

:

To: JOHNNYD:



Happy one month sobriety Anniversary. WOW!!! You are an inspiration!!!

Wildcat16

Noticed the birds chirping as the sun is rising this AM, and actually enjoyed listening to them. 54 days ago, I either would have A) Still been in bed, B) Been awake, but totally oblivious to them, or C) Been annoyed by those damn birds . In any case, it's nice to find some pleasure in the simple things again. Outside of the periodic 'moments of clarity', they alluded me for many years.