EternalQ

Boy this time of night is the worst. I feel like I get more emotionally revved up instead of tired. When i do doze, i awake soon with a start. I used to sleep so deeply and it was very hard for me to wake up but I sleep so lightly now without alcohol. Guess i would feel in more control of myself if I didnt keep randomly awakening.. It gets kind of frightening after awhile. I hope this improves?

But I notice that Im not having the sweats I was having day or night. I'd thought maybe it was hot flashes when the last couple months it started happening, but now I think it was the alcohol. It's gone. It must really mess with your body's temperature gauge.

I still think of drinking every night after work but i dont drive near the liquor store. I threw out some copies of Wine Spectator I found tonight. I think Im just going to store away my martini glasses and shakers and wine opener etc so that i will only bring them out for company, someday.

I didnt drink hardly at all the 14 years I was married from mid twenties to late thirties. We didnt even have any alcohol in the house unless we were entertaining and then only a bottle of wine. So its very confusing to me that I took this path. I still think alcohol is just a substitute for regular company for me. It is something i can never do alone, and probably something i should never do again.

I feel like i am coming out of ten yearsi was in a coma,.like that movie: The Awakening!

logicalparadox

Oh and super props on not drinking while out HF!

EternalQ- Yeah this is a rough time for me, I'm sleeping better then I was (and i may have slept more while, you know blacking out nightly, but it was horrible quality sleep and i woke up a LOT) but i almost never get to sleep before 3am. It's kinda torture, wine in the liquor cabinet, the constant...well at this point one will maybe have a real "effect".
I really feel like I'm not sure who I even AM! I've been trying on different roles, pretending to be this/that the other...I was a chemically derived personality. It overwhelms me but hey at least we're crawling out of it all. Thinking of you!

hosea57

Made it home from work. I had alot of excuses to stop at the gas station on my way here. "I could just grab a dasani flavored water and a snack."..but knew better. That is why I bought my favorite non alcohol drinks to have in my fridge and snacks. No excuse to stop..lol

Congrats for not drinking while out HF!!! I am positively not ready for that for a while.

EternalQ

LP: Thank you.

Dee74

It was a lot like Awakenings for me too EQ

D

EternalQ

Great job Hosea! You had a plan and you committed to it. Be proud, because that is very hard and therefore very impressive!

EternalQ

D: thank you.

hosea57

Thanks Eternal,
I am surprised at myself because normally I would fail to keep driving. It is still so scary because I have been so committed before only to fail and I dont need my mind to go down that road cuz my body might just follow. lol

WHen you spoke about your martini glasses, etc. you put away, it made me smile cuz I found a new use for a wine glass this morning. Milk looks really pretty in it and tastes even better.

begirl001

Why are you asking

Dee74

Welcome Begirl
what do you mean?

D

Orbea

EQ funny you mention sleep. I sleep so much better Wo wine than with. More like LP... I often woke up by 3AM. Then I would have to be at work at 7:30AM. I never knew if I were still drunk, hungover or just tired from being up all night.

6am now. Toddler boy sttn but got up at 5:45.

Hubby's grandma's funeral is this morning. He comes home tomorrow.

Orbea

What's everyone's sober Saturday looking like? I'm going to get my boy a haircut...maybe buy him a toy. Need to hit Costco too.

Healthyfood

rochele

I did not leave early. Stayed there till everybody else.
I had so much sparkling water!!! People at the bar looked a little surprised when I ordered it.
Im glad its day 20.

Germanos

I'm still here. Catch up later. I have to go right now.

JohnnyDetox

Morning everyone. Orbea...planning on lazing around for a bit then go and visit the girls (ex and daughter ), call my mother and see how she's doing, and no matter what, re-string guitar which for some reason I hate doing...Maybe hit a meeting tonight. Went to one last night and talked to a buddy I hadn't seen in awhile...felt good. I've been isolating big time lately which has got to stop.

Orbea

I don't know how to restring my guitar...I just take it to the music store. I don't play much...some chords...I can tune the thing! Anyhoo...I have been toying with getting a classical w nylon bc redeveloping callouses is the suck.

What kind of music Do you play? I play kiddie tunes lol.

EternalQ

Hosea, thanks for the image. I went ahead and had some orange juice in a wine glass this morning!

Orbea, That is a good question. It's extra important we plan ahead these days.

Since Thursday, the electrician fixed the faulty switch and the voltage is regulated, i can now use my dryer so I will launder everything in the house i can find. lol Also, bought a pendant lamp for the dining room ( for electrician to install) but they are holding the last one left at a different Lowe's that's further then mine. Have to get out there today.

Should contact my father to firm up my visit to him in Florida next Friday. Need to make reservation to board my dog. : ( Should consider what I'm going to pack as I work 10 hour days this Monday through Thursday and leave on an early morning flight Friday AM.

I am dreading my Mom's Birthday next Saturday. I'm also going through all her art (both what she bought and what she painted) and hanging some of it up. None of my five other siblings or my Dad wanted it; I am the only other artist in the family.

My Mom and I spoke each other's language. I really miss her.

She would be really glad I'm not drinking. And she'd be happy that I'm making my environment safe and beautiful.

EternalQ

Germanos: Glad you are back!

TriGirl

I did it! I survived the theatre AND the lounge afterward on Day 4! Hubby really wanted to hang out with the cast. He had coke instead of drinking, which was nice. People were very understanding when I told them that I couldn't drink because of tri training, but people are SO used to seeing me with a wine glass that I think it sort of freaked them out. I literally had wine set in front of me or handed to me so many times that I lost track. But by the end, someone would tell the person bringing the wine that I wasn't drinking right now because of training. That made me feel stronger and more accountable. I am still very glad I went, or I'm not sure what would have happened. Don't get me wrong, I was always quick to drink at those places, but have always done most of my drinking at home. I felt very out of place and not like myself at all, but I survived.

THANK YOU to everyone here -- especially you, Orbea! When I felt tempted, I got out my phone to check for new posts, and I read and re-read all of your messages. I am VERY surprised to see Day 5, but here it is! Crap, now I'm going to cry. LOL

EternalQ -- Hate that you're going through that. I still dread my daddy's birthday after 14 years. He was one of the few people in this world who ever spoke my language. It doesn't go away, but it gets less painful somehow.

Logicalparadox -- I'm very lucky I have never ended up in the ER. Or worse. I have done MANY trainings and events with hangovers. It scares me now to think about it. I'm glad you were ok! Can't wait to hear about your next event!

EternalQ

Trigirl: Thank you.

I am very impressed with what you pulled off last night!