Class of March 2011 Part 12
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
I am humbled, and brought to tears by your loving responses. All of them. Thank you. I actually feel bad that I brought this angst to you all, who don't deserve it. But, after reading your responses, I'm glad I did.
She has a lot to be mad at me about, but this has been a mutual dance. I just had my fill of being able to take it, and she was pushing all the dangerous buttons last night. Even my eldest son has stopped treating her with respect. I admonish him, but I also understand. She claims he's mocking me. And, there is probably some truth to that.
Anyway, I will not drink over this. Or smoke, or misuse prescriptions. I just hope that I am getting through what has been the hardest part of my life over the last several years.
On a positive note, I got a good answer to my IRS question, which is a relief.
Blessing to all of you. I am so happy to have each of you in my life.
She has a lot to be mad at me about, but this has been a mutual dance. I just had my fill of being able to take it, and she was pushing all the dangerous buttons last night. Even my eldest son has stopped treating her with respect. I admonish him, but I also understand. She claims he's mocking me. And, there is probably some truth to that.
Anyway, I will not drink over this. Or smoke, or misuse prescriptions. I just hope that I am getting through what has been the hardest part of my life over the last several years.
On a positive note, I got a good answer to my IRS question, which is a relief.
Blessing to all of you. I am so happy to have each of you in my life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Don't ever feel bad about bringing stuff to us, seriously. It's what we're for. We're friends. We just wish there were more we could do!
Glad your friend is feeling better, frances. Wow..amazing about the number of heart beats. I know what you mean about branching out after being so protective of your recovery. I think I've been thinking along similar lines, but not exactly. I've been thinking about how far I've come in the last 11 mos and how during the first 6 months, at LEAST, I was so careful about where I went socially, and with whom. I would plan out what I'd drink if it were a drinking situation, concerned about how long I'd stay, who I'd be around, etc. Now it just doesn't seem to concern me nearly as much. Like not having an drink with alcohol in it, isn't that big a deal, it's not as EMOTIONAL. I'm more calm about it, at peace with it. I'm not totally there yet, where it doesn't cross my mind, etc..but it's just becoming more natural to NOT drink. Which is bizarre.
I was thinking the other day about the time I was about 16 and I was at a friend's house on a sunny, summer day and we did shots and got loaded. I remember being in her back yard, there were 3 of us, trying to put up a tent cuz we were gonna sleep outside in the yard that night. The next thing I remember is I was laying on the ground and my friend had turned the hose on me like a freakin zoo animal. I think I had gotten sick, I'm not sure..or she was trying to wake me up. The visual is slightly amusing I know, but I just the thought of that, and how young I was, and how it led to a problem. I dunno, it just disturbs me when I think of stuff like that. I know we all have stories. Why didn't it ever concern us? Why couldn't we see it coming? I dunno.
Glad your friend is feeling better, frances. Wow..amazing about the number of heart beats. I know what you mean about branching out after being so protective of your recovery. I think I've been thinking along similar lines, but not exactly. I've been thinking about how far I've come in the last 11 mos and how during the first 6 months, at LEAST, I was so careful about where I went socially, and with whom. I would plan out what I'd drink if it were a drinking situation, concerned about how long I'd stay, who I'd be around, etc. Now it just doesn't seem to concern me nearly as much. Like not having an drink with alcohol in it, isn't that big a deal, it's not as EMOTIONAL. I'm more calm about it, at peace with it. I'm not totally there yet, where it doesn't cross my mind, etc..but it's just becoming more natural to NOT drink. Which is bizarre.
I was thinking the other day about the time I was about 16 and I was at a friend's house on a sunny, summer day and we did shots and got loaded. I remember being in her back yard, there were 3 of us, trying to put up a tent cuz we were gonna sleep outside in the yard that night. The next thing I remember is I was laying on the ground and my friend had turned the hose on me like a freakin zoo animal. I think I had gotten sick, I'm not sure..or she was trying to wake me up. The visual is slightly amusing I know, but I just the thought of that, and how young I was, and how it led to a problem. I dunno, it just disturbs me when I think of stuff like that. I know we all have stories. Why didn't it ever concern us? Why couldn't we see it coming? I dunno.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
Ha! When I first got them, I put a pic on my fb profile that some called a "sexy librarian" look. Unfortunately, that was the ONLY time I mastered that look. Now I just look like a 40 year-old woman with glasses.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Ummmm...can you please tell me where the autobiography section is, please??? (Gulp).
You nailed the look, PBC!
Okay...I'm finally getting back to work, as I had decided to do yesterday afternoon.
Still all over the board emotionally. What a pitiful distraction the last 20 hrs has been!
Thanks again for the support, all!
You nailed the look, PBC!
Okay...I'm finally getting back to work, as I had decided to do yesterday afternoon.
Still all over the board emotionally. What a pitiful distraction the last 20 hrs has been!
Thanks again for the support, all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
I'm thinking about Lofty's family situation and I am reminded of how much in my family that addiction is a family disease.
I had upsetting phone calls today from family members that 6 months ago would have trainwrecked my day.
(If you want to read the gory details, go over to Codependency and Beyond. I rely on both threads--here and there--for two-fisted support.)
I texted PBC for support and she sent back a prayer to me.
Then, my desktop computer went kaput with a virus.
I tried to fix it. Couldn't, but tried.
Called husband. He can fix and will do it tonight.
So, I haven't gotten billable work done today but I'M NOT FREAKING OUT. And moreso, I'm not taking the family call & the computer problem out on my skin or by overeating.
Super proud of myself.
I had upsetting phone calls today from family members that 6 months ago would have trainwrecked my day.
(If you want to read the gory details, go over to Codependency and Beyond. I rely on both threads--here and there--for two-fisted support.)
I texted PBC for support and she sent back a prayer to me.
Then, my desktop computer went kaput with a virus.
I tried to fix it. Couldn't, but tried.
Called husband. He can fix and will do it tonight.
So, I haven't gotten billable work done today but I'M NOT FREAKING OUT. And moreso, I'm not taking the family call & the computer problem out on my skin or by overeating.
Super proud of myself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
LOL, we're still talking about Christmas trees?
I'm happily writing on my laptop in the living room using my back-up data.
LOVE YOUR AVI Mirage. Some of my best friends happen to be friends I mostly connect with online. I laugh and cry and cheer with them.
I'm happily writing on my laptop in the living room using my back-up data.
LOVE YOUR AVI Mirage. Some of my best friends happen to be friends I mostly connect with online. I laugh and cry and cheer with them.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
Ya, but like I said, that's the ONLY time I succeeded at that look.
Frances, I prayed for you while I was driving to GR, too. Will you be around tonight? I'd like to hear about how it went, if you're up for it.
Mirage, I totally agree about the avatar! When you put it up last night, I called Jim over to see it. It's totally me, too!
Frances, I prayed for you while I was driving to GR, too. Will you be around tonight? I'd like to hear about how it went, if you're up for it.
Mirage, I totally agree about the avatar! When you put it up last night, I called Jim over to see it. It's totally me, too!
orangutan
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,970
****{Lofty}}} sorry about your wife, no one should treat another that way and expect them to just take it and I dont believe you should go on paying for past wrongs for ever either.
Frances congratulations on 11 months
I am glad the AD's are working for you and happy your friend is doing O.K. now.
PBC that is a great pic of yourself!!!!!!!!!
I had my biopsy yesterday and never again, I felt the needle go all the way in, last time I had no pain, also I had pain in my shoulder that went on all night they said this is from the needle touching nerves, it has gone now but what I night I have had . I have to make an appoinment for 5 weeks time with the doc. for results so the waiting game continues.
Frances congratulations on 11 months
I am glad the AD's are working for you and happy your friend is doing O.K. now.
PBC that is a great pic of yourself!!!!!!!!!
I had my biopsy yesterday and never again, I felt the needle go all the way in, last time I had no pain, also I had pain in my shoulder that went on all night they said this is from the needle touching nerves, it has gone now but what I night I have had . I have to make an appoinment for 5 weeks time with the doc. for results so the waiting game continues.
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