IndaMiricale

Participating in the privileges of the movement, I shall share in the responisbilities, taking it upon myself to carry my fair share of the load, no grudgingly but joy fully. I am deeply grateful for the privilges I enjoy because of my memership in this great movement. They put an obligation upon me which I will not shirk. I will glady carry my fair share of the burdens. Because of the joy of doing them, the will no longer be burdens but opportunties.

Love, Inda

Dee74

maybe you don't have to give a reason at all Stuart?

I know it *feels* like you need to give an explanation - but all people really need to know is you've said 'no thanks - I'll have a Coke (or whatever)'

Whatever way you go tonight the important thing is you'll refuse the drink

sorry about the sweating BF - hope it lessens soon

glad you're seeing a Dr, Ella - I hope they can help

on loitering in booze aisles tho...I did that too in the past....when you look at it it's pretty dangerous behaviour - have we really any legit reason to be in that aisle?

D

Ellen36

Hi, everyone!

Good to read others' posts, as always. Stuart, your situation is tricky. Me, I could not have bottles sitting around taunting me like that. Granted, I'm only on my (upteenth) Day 2 but I would break down I'm sure. I am also definitely not strong enough to go eat with people who are drinking. Even if I toasted an anniversary, as you mentioned, I'd get a taste. And for me, a taste is one taste too many. I cannot trust myself with alcohol. Of course, you have to weigh your wife's input. However, you are the one with the alcohol problem---right?---or you wouldn't be on SR counting your sobriety days. I hope you are able to stay sober during the next very difficult days of holiday....all of us in fact.

I thought of an analogy this morning related to alcohol and thought I'd share. It feels very much like a romantic relationship that needed to end. I'm married now, but I've had serious relationships in the past. I am thinking of one in particular. Being with him gave me a high---I fell head over heals and felt like I could fly I was so happy with him. He was funny, sexy, intelligent, charming....and I was swept off my feet. Gradually, I sensed he was starting to control me. I wanted to ignore those feelings, though, because much of the time we had fun together. As time went on, without my even realizing it for many months, everything I thought of revolved around him. I couldn't even socialize without his permission. I became depressed. I was only getting very small good things out of the relationship but it was damaging me badly.

I had to leave him. Being with him was like poison to me. He didn't want me to leave though so he stalked me. He tried everything to get me to come back, even leading me to get a restraining order against him. I became very very afraid.

Were there times when I'd remember something good about the relationship? Sure. Like with alcohol, I crave those first few drinks and the "happiness" I feel. But, really, in the end...it has become dangerous to me. I have to take out an order of protection against alcohol because it can no longer be a part of my life. Letting it in has only lead to trouble for me. Maybe somebody can get along with Alcohol, but I can't. I become like putty in Alcohol's hands, and if I continue to stay with him he will kill me.

Ginza

I gave up diving long ago because of the constraints it put on my drinking lol.

Hey, that's another thing I can enjoy again given my new found freedom!

Checking in Day 6 and feeling ..., well, just feeling .

Drala

Yeah Ellen, day2! That's excellent. Loved your analogy too.

Tasting isn't possible for me either. That'd be my AV trying to get me to change my mind, I think.

Emma18

On day 2. I've been sweating during the night constantly for about a month. My hands are shaking, have twitching, insomnia, aching, weak feeling, confusion, tiredness and anxiety, as well as nausea. Best way to help with these things? I have no idea...

Drala

Yeah Ellen, day2! That's excellent. Loved your analogy too.

Tasting isn't possible for me either. That'd be my AV trying to get me to change my mind, I think.

Ellen36

Emma--I have been having some of those sympoms myself, although not as bad. Don't know if you could see a doctor just to make sure? I've heard things can get worse before they get better. Just be safe.

I am having definite urges to drink this evening. I have spent the last 2 hours on SR reading and reading posts...trying to remind myself why I don't want to drink, the benefits to not drinking, the struggles other people are having that are similar. Even after writing my last post I have the desire to drink. It is so crazy and makes no sense mentally, but I just really want to drink right now.

I am trying to ride the wave of the urge, as Dee pointed out some time ago. The urge will pass, things will get better. I'm going to try to do something else to take my mind off alcohol.

Dee74

Hi emma

All those things *should* go away the more you stay sober - but do see a Dr if you're concerned

D

Ginza

Perhaps a professionally devised (and even supervised) exercise regime?

Emma18

Come next month I'll have soccer 3 times a week.

justbreathenow

So I am on day 12 and not wanting to drink at all, which is a good thing. My anxiety, on the other hand, is getting pretty bad. I have been experiencing body aches since last week and I am thinking it is something horrible. I am hoping it is just a combination of being run-down, anxious, depressed, etc. I did go to the doctor today to have blood work done in hopes that it will ease my mind. Fingers crossed.

BoozeFree

Having some really strong cravings right now. Had to go to the store to get some cold meds since I have a bad cold and was very tempted to buy beer. I have decided to treat myself to some fast food for dinner instead of the beer. Thought it might help for me to post about it since in the past I didn't and usually ended up drinking.

Frankie12

Stuart,

My AV is my Addictive Voice. The AV is a concept that Rational Recovery or AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique) uses to assist people in self recovery.
https://rational.org/index.php?id=1

Just today I ordered the book "The Art of AVRT".

Frankie12

Stuart, since you asked; No you are not being a fool.
There is absolutely no need for you to label yourself an alcoholic. Many of today's therapists and medical professionals shy away from using that term, and the label, or diagnosis of "alcoholic" no longer exists in the newer editions of the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

What you want to call it is entirely up to you.
Myself, I choose to phrase my decision to not drink alcohol as: "I have found myself to be using more alcohol than is good for me and have decided to make changes."

So far I have not really used this with anyone, because I have avoided drinking situation the past few weeks. I anticipate situations where I am offered a drink by strangers, and I feel no need to provide information or a justification. I expect that a "No, thank you" should be enough. In my work in the restaurant business, especially working Christmas parties over the last few weeks I have seen people respond to the offer of an alcoholic beverage with a simple, "I'll have something non-alcoholic. What do you have?".

I see no need to label myself an "alcoholic", "alky" or "drunk". I am a human being with human weaknesses and some destructive habits. I am trying to replace those habits with healthier ones.


But Stewart, these are my personal thoughts about this subject. We all need to decide for ourselves what works best for us.

Hope this helps.

Ellen36

Some people may be uncomfortable with labels, but to me....it is what it is. If I weren't an alcoholic, I would be able to control my drinking. I am not. I am addicted to alcohol. Just as my father is, and his father. I wish to stop the generational affliction, so I hope to learn to stop my alcoholic behaviors. For me, I need to shame associated with alcholic because that is the last thing I want to be.

More power to everyone else. I wish you the best in your recovery attempts.

Dee74

I hope seeing the Dr will help justbreathenow

I'm glad to see you getting through the days BF & coming here for help...that's awesome - are you looking for support outside SR as well?

you can do this

I can't think of too many places apart from SR where I use it, but I don't have problem with the label either - I have cerebral palsy so I'm used to labels...

Others can apply labels to me but it's up to me how I interpret the label for myself.

I agree noone needs to wear a label if it upsets you or you don't want to

I'm not sure I like the idea of shame as motivation tho, Ellen - I was ashamed of things I did sure, but I'm not ashamed of my condition or of who I am - I'm actually rather proud of what I've done in the last 5 years

D

Ginza

FYI, in Japan, AV means adult video.

Ginza

Personally, I love labels. Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Burberry...

Frankie12

Ellen,
Like I said in my response to Stuart. Everyone needs to decide for themselves how they want to handle situations, and what terms or "labels" to apply.

I am not sure I like the concept of shame as a motivator. Shame is not an empowering notion, quite the opposite, in my humble opinion.
I'll have to do some thinking on that....