Class Of November 2011 Pt 3
Resident Curmudgeon
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Way down South in Indiana
Posts: 375
I thought I'd share my Friday evening with y'all. In a moment of weakness I stopped into to local brew pub for a sandwich on the way home from work. They have 23 craft beers on tap and regrettably I tried pints of all of them and some multiple times. Most of the night was a fog, but I do remember having a pretty good time hanging with my friends, watching basketball and acting like a jerk. I also had a dull, throbbing hangover in the morning.
Then, without warning, the alarm went off and I realized it was all a dream.
And, so begins day 22.
Then, without warning, the alarm went off and I realized it was all a dream.
And, so begins day 22.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 306
Morning everyone.
Day 21 here.
For some time I have ignored the reality that a significant person in my life has consistently treated me poorly and was contributing to my having random and re-occuring cycles of deep upset.
I didn't do much to stop the cycle.
Usually, nothing short of several glasses or bottles of wine would block the disappointments, cloud the issues, and bandage the situations w/this person that so greatly upset me over and over and over again.
Since the summer, I've learned that I tend to drink to numb my emotions. Since getting sober I've been seeing things with greater clarity and have become less and less certain about the role this friend plays in my life.
Yesterday, I apparantly reached my limit; finally listened to my gut instincts, and in a surprisingly calm and non-emotional impromptu conversation, told my friend that I was tired of being treated poorly, that I wanted to give the relationship a break, that I cared deeply for them, but was no longer willing to be part of a friendship that triggers all the negative sides of my personality and repeatedly makes me sad, upset, and depressed.
My friend was upset, yet understood and even apologized. I think they were stunned that I showed no anger or tears and remained calm during and after the conversation. I think they recognized that I was serious & tired of traveling the dysfunctional path we were on right now.
The fact that alcohol was not involved in the form of my having a hangover or brain fuzz or being buzzed just enough to distort the reality of the situation & my emotions was a great comfort to me yesterday and remains so this morning.
Make no mistake about it, finally establishing this much needed boundary is a gift from my sobriety.
This morning the greater part of me feels a deep sense of relief because I am no longer acting as if everything was fine in that relationship when it clearly was not. It feels good to recognize that I am no longer petrified of losing this person from my life. I'm not dancing with joy here, but I am ok.
Thanks for listening. Hope everyone has a good and sober Saturday.
Day 21 here.
For some time I have ignored the reality that a significant person in my life has consistently treated me poorly and was contributing to my having random and re-occuring cycles of deep upset.
I didn't do much to stop the cycle. Usually, nothing short of several glasses or bottles of wine would block the disappointments, cloud the issues, and bandage the situations w/this person that so greatly upset me over and over and over again.
Since the summer, I've learned that I tend to drink to numb my emotions. Since getting sober I've been seeing things with greater clarity and have become less and less certain about the role this friend plays in my life.
Yesterday, I apparantly reached my limit; finally listened to my gut instincts, and in a surprisingly calm and non-emotional impromptu conversation, told my friend that I was tired of being treated poorly, that I wanted to give the relationship a break, that I cared deeply for them, but was no longer willing to be part of a friendship that triggers all the negative sides of my personality and repeatedly makes me sad, upset, and depressed.
My friend was upset, yet understood and even apologized. I think they were stunned that I showed no anger or tears and remained calm during and after the conversation. I think they recognized that I was serious & tired of traveling the dysfunctional path we were on right now.
The fact that alcohol was not involved in the form of my having a hangover or brain fuzz or being buzzed just enough to distort the reality of the situation & my emotions was a great comfort to me yesterday and remains so this morning.
Make no mistake about it, finally establishing this much needed boundary is a gift from my sobriety.
This morning the greater part of me feels a deep sense of relief because I am no longer acting as if everything was fine in that relationship when it clearly was not. It feels good to recognize that I am no longer petrified of losing this person from my life. I'm not dancing with joy here, but I am ok.
Thanks for listening. Hope everyone has a good and sober Saturday.
- Motivated -
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 309
Hey everyone. Thank you SO much for all the engouragement. It means more than the words I type can express. It really does mean a lot. Soooo... since I fought the urge today is a month for me. It doesn't sound like much but I can't say I've had a month sober in the past 5 years. Looking forward to getting my 1-Month Chip.
Hope everyone has a super Saturday Keep up the great work!
Hope everyone has a super Saturday
Keep up the great work!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 62
Cat and Tres, I'm an RN too. That has made it even more worisome for me, especially wondering what my co-workers or my friends would think - that I should know better, right especially having worked with alcoholics and chemical dependents. But I'm just a person.
Marine and Vantrina, hugs to both of you.
I'm up early this morning. Going to have breakfast at my favorite bagel place with my two daughters and then head on to do some shopping. Wish us luck.
Everyone stay strong and have a good Saturday!
Marine and Vantrina, hugs to both of you.
I'm up early this morning. Going to have breakfast at my favorite bagel place with my two daughters and then head on to do some shopping. Wish us luck.
Everyone stay strong and have a good Saturday!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 400
Bimm, You had me worried for a moment, so glad it was just a dream!
Vantrina, I love your heart felt posts. Sounds like great things are happening with you emotionally. It really is amazing how much we begin to feel when we stop putting everything off with a bottle. I've experienced that too.
Jay and Inda, Congrats on one month!
Marine, We know what it's like. Keep at it.
I had a very nice evening at the Christmas party. There were very few drinking wine so that made it pretty easy not to think about it. So thankful for you guys because I thought of you and knew that I committed myself to report back positively this morning.
Thanks for asking R4R!
This is the last Saturday before Christmas where I have nothing scheduled so I have a lot to do! Have a great day everyone.
Stevie, We're all waiting for a check in.
Vantrina, I love your heart felt posts. Sounds like great things are happening with you emotionally. It really is amazing how much we begin to feel when we stop putting everything off with a bottle. I've experienced that too.
Jay and Inda, Congrats on one month!
Marine, We know what it's like. Keep at it.
I had a very nice evening at the Christmas party. There were very few drinking wine so that made it pretty easy not to think about it. So thankful for you guys because I thought of you and knew that I committed myself to report back positively this morning.
Thanks for asking R4R!
This is the last Saturday before Christmas where I have nothing scheduled so I have a lot to do! Have a great day everyone.
Stevie, We're all waiting for a check in.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 66
Marine- hang in there. I've had countless day 1's.
I get to go to my buddies retirement from the military today. I'm really excited about it as he's been there for me through thick and thin. There will be plenty of drinking at the event I'm sure as his Army buddies won't let this one pass quietly. I'm just happy I get to give a toast with a diet coke in hand and be coherent.
My urge to drink has all but disappeared this time around for me. I think I've finally come to terms with the thoughts of "What could have been" and I'm content with where I am in life. There is a great line from a song that states "this is as good as it gets." I'm finally coming to realize that what I think other people think about me is irrelevant. Your life is your own and what really counts is what you think of you.
Anyways, off to get a haircut and pull the suit out of the closet. Everyone have a good weekend.
Bru
I get to go to my buddies retirement from the military today. I'm really excited about it as he's been there for me through thick and thin. There will be plenty of drinking at the event I'm sure as his Army buddies won't let this one pass quietly. I'm just happy I get to give a toast with a diet coke in hand and be coherent.
My urge to drink has all but disappeared this time around for me. I think I've finally come to terms with the thoughts of "What could have been" and I'm content with where I am in life. There is a great line from a song that states "this is as good as it gets." I'm finally coming to realize that what I think other people think about me is irrelevant. Your life is your own and what really counts is what you think of you.
Anyways, off to get a haircut and pull the suit out of the closet. Everyone have a good weekend.
Bru
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Inda and Jay, congrats on one month! Give yourselves a pat on the back. 
R4R- it's great you're feeling great!
Bimm, you had me worried(although the 23+ pints had me a tad suspicious). I had a dream just like that two nights ago: I got REALLY drunk and all these random people from my life were there, I embarrassed myself about 15 different ways, and woke up not remembering and feeling horrible and regretful for blowing my days! And then I woke up and was so relieved. Maybe my subconscious is trying to remind me why I quit since I've been craving lately. It worked!
Vantrina- I recently cut someone out of my life, too. My mother. I gave her the chance to be real with me and clear our history, or else not have me in her life at all, and she refused. Turns out she'd rather lose a daughter than take responsibility for being abusive. I feel hurt by her choice but glad that I stood up to her after all these years. Not drinking gave me the strength and clarity to want to deal with the issue, to not have a relationship with her based on lies and denial. Like you, I am defining new boundaries for myself- people who are disrespectful and bring negativity to my life are not allowed in anymore. Her loss, and same for your friend too.
Marine-noooo! Well that's okay, we've all been there, it's a process, right? Learn from it and get back on that horse, baby. It'll stick because you want it, be patient with yourself.
Berdant-mmmm, bagels.
Sarah- have fun Christmas shopping! Enjoy!
Bruman-From what I've heard army guys are REALLY big drinkers. Enjoy being sober and watching the antics. And congrats to your buddy. You're right, you've gotta just live your life the best way for you and everyone else can think what they want, it just doesn't make any difference. Nice revelation, it's a big one! Me, I know it's true but still have to constantly check myself when I start brooding.
Well I'm meeting a guy in half an hour who might buy my truck, so I gotta go tidy it up a bit. I hope he buys it but will be sad to see it go!
Have a good day all.
R4R- it's great you're feeling great!
Bimm, you had me worried(although the 23+ pints had me a tad suspicious). I had a dream just like that two nights ago: I got REALLY drunk and all these random people from my life were there, I embarrassed myself about 15 different ways, and woke up not remembering and feeling horrible and regretful for blowing my days! And then I woke up and was so relieved. Maybe my subconscious is trying to remind me why I quit since I've been craving lately. It worked!
Vantrina- I recently cut someone out of my life, too. My mother. I gave her the chance to be real with me and clear our history, or else not have me in her life at all, and she refused. Turns out she'd rather lose a daughter than take responsibility for being abusive. I feel hurt by her choice but glad that I stood up to her after all these years. Not drinking gave me the strength and clarity to want to deal with the issue, to not have a relationship with her based on lies and denial. Like you, I am defining new boundaries for myself- people who are disrespectful and bring negativity to my life are not allowed in anymore. Her loss, and same for your friend too.
Marine-noooo! Well that's okay, we've all been there, it's a process, right? Learn from it and get back on that horse, baby. It'll stick because you want it, be patient with yourself.
Berdant-mmmm, bagels.
Sarah- have fun Christmas shopping! Enjoy!
Bruman-From what I've heard army guys are REALLY big drinkers. Enjoy being sober and watching the antics. And congrats to your buddy. You're right, you've gotta just live your life the best way for you and everyone else can think what they want, it just doesn't make any difference. Nice revelation, it's a big one! Me, I know it's true but still have to constantly check myself when I start brooding.
Well I'm meeting a guy in half an hour who might buy my truck, so I gotta go tidy it up a bit. I hope he buys it but will be sad to see it go!
Have a good day all.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 224
Hello All,
Tres & Berdant: Do you think being a RN keeps you out of meetings? I have been good about keeping my problem very seperate from my work (having four days off a week made that pretty easy), but I get so panicked about people finding out. Do you guys think attending meetings is a real threat to out livelihoods or a construction of my defenses? I really look forward to hearing what y'all think.
Marine: It is ok. Just try, try again.
Inda: thanks for checking in : )
Tigger: You are so full of positive energy! I love it : )
Vantrina: Good job! You should be very proud of yourself : )
Take Care All : )
Tres & Berdant: Do you think being a RN keeps you out of meetings? I have been good about keeping my problem very seperate from my work (having four days off a week made that pretty easy), but I get so panicked about people finding out. Do you guys think attending meetings is a real threat to out livelihoods or a construction of my defenses? I really look forward to hearing what y'all think.
Marine: It is ok. Just try, try again.
Inda: thanks for checking in : )
Tigger: You are so full of positive energy! I love it : )
Vantrina: Good job! You should be very proud of yourself : )
Take Care All : )
- Motivated -
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 309
Just checking in this afternoon. Had a busy day so far. Was up early stacking wood and then chopping wood. Then had an awesome workout at the gym. Not sure what the night holds for me.
Hope everyone is doing great! And thank you for the Congrats
Hope everyone is doing great! And thank you for the Congrats
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Here, there and everywhere
Posts: 559
Thanks for all of the comments. I seem to cave right around the 11-12 day mark. Nothing really triggered it and I have held up thru some really tough situations lately. Need to sit and ponder exactly what happened both times. Fortunately it wasn't a binge situation and I wasn't drunk - just mad at myself right now. Off to light all my candles - that always makes me feel better. Thanks everyone- its so nice to have you all out there and especially not get criticized for my mishap.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
If you keep getting stuck at the same point, maybe it would be useful to look at what you're doing for your recovery Marine and judge for yourself whether it's as effective as it could be?
Are there things you could add to what you've been doing?
I'm glad you're still with us
D
Are there things you could add to what you've been doing?
I'm glad you're still with us
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: FL
Posts: 1,072
CatFry, YES I think that is a big part of why I won't go to a meeting. It really doesn't make any sense does it? I have an ok manager but she is a big gossip. I would NOT want her to know anything about my what I am going through. She has the reputation of not keeping things about her staff private. I have only told one of my nurse friends my situation. And she is a friend of mine outside of work and she has been supportive and I know wont blab anything around. She is an unconditional friend. I know other friends may not be. You know how us nurses like to gossip!!
Whats up with us nurses??? We take care of other people better than we take care of ourselves..time to change that for the three of us, right!
Its party time on the lake tonight. None of the friends we invited over came and I AM SO HAPPY!! We participated in the boat parade and I had my hubby drop me off back at home. He and daughter were going over to the after party. He asked, " what do you want me to tell everyone? You know they will ask where you are.) I said just tell them I was freezing and I might walk down later. Of course I won't, I already have my jammies on and peppermint tea in hand.
I did have a trigger today. I was out shopping. Crazy traffic, crazy waiting in lines. I thought " I can't wait to have a drink." Then I remembered I don't. lol..
Day 40 for me today!
The longest sober time I had was 44 days...I am ready to pass that day by.
Marine 28, don't beat yourself up. Get back on the horse. We are here for you.
Stevie88 , what did you eat today? I just made myself some chocolate/pretzel/walnut candies..
I am rambling. Hope everyone has a great Saturday night. I feel fine missing the party, I have my whole life to see these neighbors.. some of them I see too much anyway.
till tomorrow,
Whats up with us nurses??? We take care of other people better than we take care of ourselves..time to change that for the three of us, right!
Its party time on the lake tonight. None of the friends we invited over came and I AM SO HAPPY!! We participated in the boat parade and I had my hubby drop me off back at home. He and daughter were going over to the after party. He asked, " what do you want me to tell everyone? You know they will ask where you are.) I said just tell them I was freezing and I might walk down later. Of course I won't, I already have my jammies on and peppermint tea in hand.
I did have a trigger today. I was out shopping. Crazy traffic, crazy waiting in lines. I thought " I can't wait to have a drink." Then I remembered I don't. lol..
Day 40 for me today!
The longest sober time I had was 44 days...I am ready to pass that day by.Marine 28, don't beat yourself up. Get back on the horse. We are here for you.
Stevie88 , what did you eat today? I just made myself some chocolate/pretzel/walnut candies..
I am rambling. Hope everyone has a great Saturday night. I feel fine missing the party, I have my whole life to see these neighbors.. some of them I see too much anyway.
till tomorrow,
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Just checking in guys and gals,today is Day 22,god knows how i have stayed sober after the last 2 days,all i have wanted to do is drink....My cravings started on friday and i have been looking for reasons to drink since then...And yesterday me and the wife had a huge row and i really thought i was gonna drink then.Even she was surprised that i didnt go out and buy beer as normally when we row the booze store is my first point of call....So there we go,still sober and hoping that day 22 is better,if i got through the last 2 days then i can get through anything....As for my food consumption the last 2 days it has gone through the roof...Friday i had 2 take aways,full english breakfast yesterday morning,followed by mcdonalds for lunch which consisted of 2 quarter pounders,a big mac and 20 chicken nuggets,washed down with a large chocolate milkshake and then for dinner last night i had another full english breakfast....Im just slurping a cup of tea and then im off out with the dog,then when i get back i'll have another full english breakfast and then for lunch im doing a full on sunday roast with roast chicken and all the trimmings....Oh and forgot to say i must of ate about 6 snickers yesterday and 4 on friday.....So there we go there is my check in...Thanks for reading my ramble.....
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Here, there and everywhere
Posts: 559
Stevie, That is a lot food!! But it could have been booze and so congrats! Great job! I feel really good today. Going to get my 95- year old grandmother and bring her to my house for the afternoon. A nice treat for her to get out of the nursing home for a few hours. I will be exhausted but it will be nice to spend the time with her. She wants to make cookies. Have a good day everyone!
- Motivated -
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 309
Just a quick morning check-in. Day 31 for me. Heading to a meeting in about 45 minutes to pick up my 1-Month Chip. Gonna hit the gym after that and then watch some football.
Have a great one everybody!
Have a great one everybody!
Resident Curmudgeon
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Way down South in Indiana
Posts: 375
Day 23-Same old, same old, just chugging along and Ido believe I'm doing quite well. Went to the store yesterday and bought 2 bottles of everyday wine (for my wife) and the clerk asked "where you been"?--I take that as a complement.
Marine, you're a good grandson and I hope you enjoy you day with your grand Mother.
Marine, you're a good grandson and I hope you enjoy you day with your grand Mother.
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