Class Of March 2011 pt 10
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Yes, Frances, I think it's a deer that is smaller than your bunny!
Ausssooommmieee!!!! 5 MO Months!!!!!
If each sober day equals sobriety that used to take 2 or 3 days, you have recaptured over a year of your life!!!! Get that? It's that fuzzy math thing we do in America.
Frances, I totally get the Sybil effect from one day to the other. It's been happening to me a lot too. I'm writing it off as that PAWS thing, but there have been a lot of days lately that I'm thinking not enough is different between drinking Lofty and non-drinking Lofty. I need a breakthrough.
Thanks for the cigs kudos. I just bought a pack, which actually settled me down and took away the craving for a while, but I haven't opened the pack. I really have to want it when its within reach, and I'll really have to think about it. I still have all that beer and wine too. I don't know why I'm compelled to test my resolve in this way. These are not the only ways I've grown weirder recently...
I need life to be fun still. I'm not having fun. At all. I'm enjoying being there for my kids and family, but I'm not laughing, and having real fun. Maybe I'm getting depressed, and maybe I should do something about it. I've been looking for one of those SAD lights, to no avail. I guess I could go on ADs.
Hope all others are doing well! Have a good night!
Ausssooommmieee!!!! 5 MO Months!!!!!
If each sober day equals sobriety that used to take 2 or 3 days, you have recaptured over a year of your life!!!! Get that? It's that fuzzy math thing we do in America.
Frances, I totally get the Sybil effect from one day to the other. It's been happening to me a lot too. I'm writing it off as that PAWS thing, but there have been a lot of days lately that I'm thinking not enough is different between drinking Lofty and non-drinking Lofty. I need a breakthrough.
Thanks for the cigs kudos. I just bought a pack, which actually settled me down and took away the craving for a while, but I haven't opened the pack. I really have to want it when its within reach, and I'll really have to think about it. I still have all that beer and wine too. I don't know why I'm compelled to test my resolve in this way. These are not the only ways I've grown weirder recently...
I need life to be fun still. I'm not having fun. At all. I'm enjoying being there for my kids and family, but I'm not laughing, and having real fun. Maybe I'm getting depressed, and maybe I should do something about it. I've been looking for one of those SAD lights, to no avail. I guess I could go on ADs.
Hope all others are doing well! Have a good night!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 185
Lofty, I have a SAD light, makes a HUGE difference for me, as I have SAD in addition to other depression. Works even in the summer if we have a few dark, rainy days!
Have you looked online? Mine is over 10 years old. I hear OTT makes good ones, a variety of shapes and sizes. Let me know your budget if you want me to try to help you find one.
Rosie
Have you looked online? Mine is over 10 years old. I hear OTT makes good ones, a variety of shapes and sizes. Let me know your budget if you want me to try to help you find one.
Rosie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Congrats on 5 months today, aussie!! 
I know what you mean, Lofty. I get like that, too. It's not constant for me, but maybe like a couple days at a time. I said this back in March, but I think it still holds true for me: the idea that I don't know what normal feels like. I was so up and down, drinking/hungover that I wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel like when things are just steady. Anyway, I still believe that a little. Like when I get really down, I'm not sure if that's part of how I've always been and I just didn't notice cuz I would just drink. And when I get blue, is it at a certain time? Is it cyclical? Does something specific trigger it? I don't know these things yet cuz I haven't been alcohol free for long enough to be that cognizant of my real feelings. Or if I have, I've been lacking in my observation skills. I hope that makes sense. If it doesn't, ignore it. If it does, maybe you could explain to me it's relevance to your post. ha
I know what you mean, Lofty. I get like that, too. It's not constant for me, but maybe like a couple days at a time. I said this back in March, but I think it still holds true for me: the idea that I don't know what normal feels like. I was so up and down, drinking/hungover that I wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel like when things are just steady. Anyway, I still believe that a little. Like when I get really down, I'm not sure if that's part of how I've always been and I just didn't notice cuz I would just drink. And when I get blue, is it at a certain time? Is it cyclical? Does something specific trigger it? I don't know these things yet cuz I haven't been alcohol free for long enough to be that cognizant of my real feelings. Or if I have, I've been lacking in my observation skills. I hope that makes sense. If it doesn't, ignore it. If it does, maybe you could explain to me it's relevance to your post. ha
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
Rosie, can you get tan from your SAD light? I wonder because I've heard that tanning beds help, too. I've thought of going every once in a while for that reason.
Frances, I'm glad you're feeling better today.
CONGRATULATIONS, AUSSIE!!!!!!!!!! You're a hero! Woo-hoooooooo!
Lofty, you wrote, "I'm thinking not enough is different between drinking Lofty and non-drinking Lofty." In what ways would you like to be different?
Frances, I'm glad you're feeling better today.
CONGRATULATIONS, AUSSIE!!!!!!!!!! You're a hero! Woo-hoooooooo!
Lofty, you wrote, "I'm thinking not enough is different between drinking Lofty and non-drinking Lofty." In what ways would you like to be different?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Originally Posted by mirage 
I said this back in March, but I think it still holds true for me: the idea that I don't know what normal feels like. I was so up and down, drinking/hungover that I wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel like when things are just steady. Anyway, I still believe that a little. Like when I get really down, I'm not sure if that's part of how I've always been and I just didn't notice cuz I would just drink. And when I get blue, is it at a certain time? Is it cyclical? Does something specific trigger it? I don't know these things yet cuz I haven't been alcohol free for long enough to be that cognizant of my real feelings. Or if I have, I've been lacking in my observation skills. I hope that makes sense.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
And.....wait for it......NINE MONTHS TODAY!!!!!
Pretty fricking amazing, with the help and support of the Marchers.
(Sat with a friend last night who nursed a glass of wine. She barely sipped at it. It was still there after an hour. Why didn't she DRINK it already? LOL. There is a world of difference there.)
Pretty fricking amazing, with the help and support of the Marchers.
(Sat with a friend last night who nursed a glass of wine. She barely sipped at it. It was still there after an hour. Why didn't she DRINK it already? LOL. There is a world of difference there.)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Since it's my 9 months anniversary I can be as posty as I want to.
Lofty, I don't know about SAD lamps but if you get one I'd love to hear how it works for you. I'm sorry you aren't having fun. Let me know how i can help so you can be and feel everything you want to. ********}}}}
NEAT that it's been a good thing for you Rosie. *thinks about SAD lamp for self*
AND, PBC, I think it's amazing that your daughter is helping creating a fun outing for you instead of the progressive dinner. Tha's FAMILY to me, that you help each other. XOXO
Lofty, I don't know about SAD lamps but if you get one I'd love to hear how it works for you. I'm sorry you aren't having fun. Let me know how i can help so you can be and feel everything you want to. ********}}}}
NEAT that it's been a good thing for you Rosie. *thinks about SAD lamp for self*
AND, PBC, I think it's amazing that your daughter is helping creating a fun outing for you instead of the progressive dinner. Tha's FAMILY to me, that you help each other. XOXO
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
Good morning, Marchers! Assuming I make it through today (which I will), I'll be at 2 weeks, which is the longest I've gone since June. Yay!
I had my first drinking dream the other night. What's weird is that I don't remember the drinking part at all ... what I do remember is waking up the next morning with this horrible feeling of dread, guilt, and despair, like I'd blown everything again. It was a really, really awful feeling.
And I had to share ... I washed the dishes with a new dishsoap this week. It is scented as "New Zealand". Apparently, New Zealand smells amazingly fresh and delightful. I wondered if Dee or Aussie could confirm? And does Australia smell as wonderful?
I had my first drinking dream the other night. What's weird is that I don't remember the drinking part at all ... what I do remember is waking up the next morning with this horrible feeling of dread, guilt, and despair, like I'd blown everything again. It was a really, really awful feeling.
And I had to share ... I washed the dishes with a new dishsoap this week. It is scented as "New Zealand". Apparently, New Zealand smells amazingly fresh and delightful. I wondered if Dee or Aussie could confirm? And does Australia smell as wonderful?
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
9 BIG ONES!!!! Great going, FRANCES!!!!
7 
:day2
(OK...is it evident I like these emoticons, since they are the ones I almost always use?)
Mirage, I could not have put it better. You rock. Oh, wait...
Anyway, I'm glad you and all the others understand. I'm regretting right now that I didn't go on ADs in Sept/Oct, as my doctor suggested last winter. I might go on them now...
OK...so I'm taking my kids to school this morning, and I said something, don't remember what, and I sounded just like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Now, that's one mopey, depressed donkey, isn't it? I got to thinking...Eeyore's a donkey...that's an ass...he's mopey...I sound like him...yep...I'm a draggin' ass! Just 3.5 days of grey clouds and rain, and here I am. How long will it take to repair? I don't know. But, I do know that the chronic gray skies, rain or dry, are the factor. A SAD light will help. Thanks for the clue, Rosie, on OTT; I'll look 'em up. I can't stand for this depression to settle in for the season.
Thanks for all your comments and support. I know I've been needy on here lately, and I appreciate the encouragement. This is the only place I get it, or even know that I can share stuff like this. It's vital to my existence. Thanks.
Love you all!
7 :day2(OK...is it evident I like these emoticons, since they are the ones I almost always use?)
Mirage, I could not have put it better. You rock. Oh, wait...
Anyway, I'm glad you and all the others understand. I'm regretting right now that I didn't go on ADs in Sept/Oct, as my doctor suggested last winter. I might go on them now...OK...so I'm taking my kids to school this morning, and I said something, don't remember what, and I sounded just like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Now, that's one mopey, depressed donkey, isn't it? I got to thinking...Eeyore's a donkey...that's an ass...he's mopey...I sound like him...yep...I'm a draggin' ass! Just 3.5 days of grey clouds and rain, and here I am. How long will it take to repair? I don't know. But, I do know that the chronic gray skies, rain or dry, are the factor. A SAD light will help. Thanks for the clue, Rosie, on OTT; I'll look 'em up. I can't stand for this depression to settle in for the season.
Thanks for all your comments and support. I know I've been needy on here lately, and I appreciate the encouragement. This is the only place I get it, or even know that I can share stuff like this. It's vital to my existence. Thanks.
Love you all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Lofty, you can feel better. You WILL feel better. Take action today. If you decide to get medicine or a sunlamp or both to help your brain chemicals get on track, your doctor can tell you how quickly they will kick in.
My fondest wish since forever has been to be happy. I'm right there with you.
Lofty, in no way shape or form so I think you've been needy. You've been honest and human and I think you are a terrific person. We are here for each other because that makes us stronger. 'Nuff said. If you want a measure, on a scale of 1 to a gillion, where a gillion represents "annoying neediness, you are minus kabillion.
I think the US would smell like rocky coastline and crashing surf, mixed with a sun-baked prairie grass ocean.
Or french fries.
TWO WEEK PBC, look at you! THAT IS FABULOUS. MANY CAPITAL LETTERS OF ENCOURAGEMENT. You are taking care of you, for you, and I am very very very happy for you.
I just don't have the hang of smilies, but I LOVE THEM. So please everyone use them.
Drinking dreams are the pits. But they aren't real.
My fondest wish since forever has been to be happy. I'm right there with you.
Lofty, in no way shape or form so I think you've been needy. You've been honest and human and I think you are a terrific person. We are here for each other because that makes us stronger. 'Nuff said. If you want a measure, on a scale of 1 to a gillion, where a gillion represents "annoying neediness, you are minus kabillion.
I think the US would smell like rocky coastline and crashing surf, mixed with a sun-baked prairie grass ocean.
Or french fries.
TWO WEEK PBC, look at you! THAT IS FABULOUS. MANY CAPITAL LETTERS OF ENCOURAGEMENT. You are taking care of you, for you, and I am very very very happy for you.
I just don't have the hang of smilies, but I LOVE THEM. So please everyone use them.
Drinking dreams are the pits. But they aren't real.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Oops, I hadn't read the whole 3rd page.
Nice job on 2 weeks, pbc!! Yeah, I hate those dreams. Weird I didn't have them for smoking this time I quit. I have in the past.
Yeah, I wish we could do more, Lofty. Sounds like you're gonna be proactive with it, tho, which is great. Nip this thing before you're knee deep in a winter depression. If it's any consolation, it's supposed to be sunny there until Sunday. Grab it while you can, man! Funny you mentioned Eeyore. The other day, I was going through some clothes I found in storage, and I found a gray, hooded, zip up sweatshirt with Eeyore on the upper left chest. Remember the Disney Store?? I think they're out of business, but it's from about 10 years ago. Anyway, it's back in my closet and I wore it the other day! haha
Nice job on 2 weeks, pbc!! Yeah, I hate those dreams. Weird I didn't have them for smoking this time I quit. I have in the past.
Yeah, I wish we could do more, Lofty. Sounds like you're gonna be proactive with it, tho, which is great. Nip this thing before you're knee deep in a winter depression. If it's any consolation, it's supposed to be sunny there until Sunday. Grab it while you can, man! Funny you mentioned Eeyore. The other day, I was going through some clothes I found in storage, and I found a gray, hooded, zip up sweatshirt with Eeyore on the upper left chest. Remember the Disney Store?? I think they're out of business, but it's from about 10 years ago. Anyway, it's back in my closet and I wore it the other day! haha
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