Class of November 2011 pt 2
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 84
Originally Posted by FML 
So I finally told my husband I have decided to stop drinking. He just got back from work today and I didn't want to talk about it over the phone.
I started by telling him that I have had really bad anxiety for the past few days. He knows I have issues with that. His response was "I don't understand why you would be anxious, you were just at home". I told him that it was hard to explain, that it's mostly a worrisome feeling like something bad is going to happen. I also told him that I threw up yesterday (I am not bulimic but I make myself throw up sometimes when I feel like that). I then said " I think I should not drink anymore." Him: "Why?" Me: "because I think it makes these feelings worse. I've noticed that days after I drink my anxiety gets way worse". Him " Oh I forgot! I had a dream about you last night...." and he just started telling me about his dream and kind of cut me off. I felt sad because I was hoping to get a hug or something. It's hard for me to talk about that stuff, especially to admit that I threw up. I know he wasn't trying to be insensitive but it still hurt my feelings.
Then like half an hour later on the couch he was like "so are you going to start going to to AA meetings?" I said "I don't know. I'd like to but I probably won't. I'll probably be to scared." Then he laughingly said "You're not going to do it. You can't stop drinking. You're an alcoholic."
I said "Thanks for the support." He said "I'm just using reverse psychology".
So yeah I'm discouraged now to say the least
I started by telling him that I have had really bad anxiety for the past few days. He knows I have issues with that. His response was "I don't understand why you would be anxious, you were just at home". I told him that it was hard to explain, that it's mostly a worrisome feeling like something bad is going to happen. I also told him that I threw up yesterday (I am not bulimic but I make myself throw up sometimes when I feel like that). I then said " I think I should not drink anymore." Him: "Why?" Me: "because I think it makes these feelings worse. I've noticed that days after I drink my anxiety gets way worse". Him " Oh I forgot! I had a dream about you last night...." and he just started telling me about his dream and kind of cut me off. I felt sad because I was hoping to get a hug or something. It's hard for me to talk about that stuff, especially to admit that I threw up. I know he wasn't trying to be insensitive but it still hurt my feelings.
Then like half an hour later on the couch he was like "so are you going to start going to to AA meetings?" I said "I don't know. I'd like to but I probably won't. I'll probably be to scared." Then he laughingly said "You're not going to do it. You can't stop drinking. You're an alcoholic."
I said "Thanks for the support." He said "I'm just using reverse psychology".
So yeah I'm discouraged now to say the least
It hurts to read this because you have to have a rock to lean on and maybe it isn't your spouse. So it might be AA or it might be the people here on this board, or it may be HP/God....or someone else.
I live by myself, I have a girlfriend that I have been going with for more than 5 years and we have a serious commitment. I will tell you that she is not my "rock," although I would like her to be. My rock is my family physician, who lives down the road from me. He is a gentleman farmer and I am a full time farmer. We have a relationship outside of his practice, and I can and do talk with him regularly about my new and developing sobriety.
If he can't help or is not available, I use this forum or take a moment to get reacquainted with my bible. Those passages about the Lord being the father to the fatherless are real (for me) and ease those moments when I feel so very alone with this problem. So far I have not been to an AA meeting, but that may change.
My girlfriend is a very jaded RN, that has seen serious alcoholics come through her ICU unit. She looks at my recovery and says "whats the big deal?" So I let her slide on helping me because I love her and appreciate her for many other reasons.
It is a shame that the ones that we love the most do not understand what we are going through. I've found it much easier to find help from someone who does understand than to let resentment grow toward the people we love. I am learning to be quick to forgive and patient with people around me, even when it seems like they are so far away and I need them so badly.
Peace to you....
Fraggy 40
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 84
Originally Posted by Marine28
After my husband died almost 18 months ago, it seems as though all of our friends have disappeared.
I ended up retiring early from my "on the road" job, and started farming full time. It was what I really wanted to do, and six months after the divorce was final, I ended up with custody of our son. That seemed to help, and eventually I embarked on a new relationship with my present girlfriend, who I do not live with....
Loneliness is tough to deal with, and friends scattering is hard.....but picking up something new, a hobby or job has been a good move for me too...
Keep doing good, we're pulling for you...
Fraggy 40
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 84
Originally Posted by Mainza
Day 7.
Last night I had some moments of incredible joy and comfort with my decision to quit drinking. I feel like I have finally made the right decision and that I will grow as a person because of it. Although I've only been quit for 7 days, I haven't felt this way before in my past attempts at moderation or sobriety. Has anyone felt this?
Last night I had some moments of incredible joy and comfort with my decision to quit drinking. I feel like I have finally made the right decision and that I will grow as a person because of it. Although I've only been quit for 7 days, I haven't felt this way before in my past attempts at moderation or sobriety. Has anyone felt this?
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
Whats up everyone enjoying the holiday sprit! (sarcasm)...I was never much of one for holidays.
Anyhow just hanging in there starting day 5 for me, the weekend is comming up and I hope to stay trapped in the house because I know if I go out it might not be a good thing. Well here is hoping that I can manage I might just end up comming in to work as there are some things I need to catch up on (I am spending too much time here but its helping so F it
). Glad to see everyone seems to be doing alright.
INH
Anyhow just hanging in there starting day 5 for me, the weekend is comming up and I hope to stay trapped in the house because I know if I go out it might not be a good thing. Well here is hoping that I can manage I might just end up comming in to work as there are some things I need to catch up on (I am spending too much time here but its helping so F it
). Glad to see everyone seems to be doing alright.INH
Resident Curmudgeon
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Way down South in Indiana
Posts: 375
14 days, so I think I'll toot my own horn. 
I am very fortunate to have a very supportive spouse and a core of understanding friends. I made a point of being forthcoming with all my close contacts about my alcohol addiction. This approach may not be best for everyone, but I do feel it works for me as it strengthens my resolve to not drink today or any day.
May your today be sober.
I am very fortunate to have a very supportive spouse and a core of understanding friends. I made a point of being forthcoming with all my close contacts about my alcohol addiction. This approach may not be best for everyone, but I do feel it works for me as it strengthens my resolve to not drink today or any day.
May your today be sober.
- Motivated -
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 309
Hey everyone. Happy Friday Day 22 for me. Feeling good. Gotta stay busy and focused 'cause the weekends are typically the days I struggle with and get stronger cravings. Keep up the awesome work everyone!
Day 22 for me. Feeling good. Gotta stay busy and focused 'cause the weekends are typically the days I struggle with and get stronger cravings. Keep up the awesome work everyone!
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
Good Morning Everyone!
First of all, the weekend isn't quite here (so I'm just focusing on today). I look at it as just two more days. We've made it this far... no weekend needs to stop us Staying busy helps... which is what I'm going to do. I sell buckeyes (peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate) every year to get some extra cash for Christmas and pay off of end of year bills... so I'll be doing that for the next few weekends! Besides normal stuff like running on Saturday mornings and going to church on Sundays and stuff...
NES... yeah, I'm trying to figure out how to hook up our sega to the old tv downstairs - my hubby wants to play. I'd like to get a Wii, but out of the question right now... besides the old time games bring back decent memories...
FML - Yeah, sounds like your husband was just trying to work out his own feelings about drinking and took the defensive. Glad he's willing to try though - hope that works out. Regarding other things to drink... my favorite these days is diet ginger ale and diet root beer... try to stay away from sugar and caffeine because I don't want to get hyped up and feel anxious cuz it feels too much like cravings for alcohol.
Congrats on Day 3 Dalia, Day 4 Polo, and your 2 Weeks Bimm!
Tres... Sorry, I think I might have missed congratulating you on 30 days, let alone 32
My brain hasn't been functioning on all cylinders yet...
INH... Guess the holidays gives me something else to focus on besides myself and drinking. I used to hate them because of crazy family stuff... but I've worked through all that and now I like them - holidays, still working on the family
Marine... Thanks for the tip... another good book is Under the Influence. Probably says much the same thing... but worth a read.
Fraggy... I hear you on having a 'rock'. My husband is a great guy, but just isn't that... mine has been God and my therapist. Although the therpist thing is about to come to an end... but I have some people at church who have always supported me in my healing journey - it's me that is reluctant to actually call them when I need to. Relationships are hard. I like your 'Father to the fatherless' statement also... means a lot to me also.
Stevie... you cease to amaze me... Welcome to Day 13!
Day 9 and counting
Keep focused everyone... we can do this!
First of all, the weekend isn't quite here (so I'm just focusing on today). I look at it as just two more days. We've made it this far... no weekend needs to stop us
Staying busy helps... which is what I'm going to do. I sell buckeyes (peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate) every year to get some extra cash for Christmas and pay off of end of year bills... so I'll be doing that for the next few weekends! Besides normal stuff like running on Saturday mornings and going to church on Sundays and stuff...NES... yeah, I'm trying to figure out how to hook up our sega to the old tv downstairs - my hubby wants to play. I'd like to get a Wii, but out of the question right now... besides the old time games bring back decent memories...
FML - Yeah, sounds like your husband was just trying to work out his own feelings about drinking and took the defensive. Glad he's willing to try though - hope that works out. Regarding other things to drink... my favorite these days is diet ginger ale and diet root beer... try to stay away from sugar and caffeine because I don't want to get hyped up and feel anxious cuz it feels too much like cravings for alcohol.
Congrats on Day 3 Dalia, Day 4 Polo, and your 2 Weeks Bimm!
Tres... Sorry, I think I might have missed congratulating you on 30 days, let alone 32
My brain hasn't been functioning on all cylinders yet...INH... Guess the holidays gives me something else to focus on besides myself and drinking. I used to hate them because of crazy family stuff... but I've worked through all that and now I like them - holidays, still working on the family
Marine... Thanks for the tip... another good book is Under the Influence. Probably says much the same thing... but worth a read.
Fraggy... I hear you on having a 'rock'. My husband is a great guy, but just isn't that... mine has been God and my therapist. Although the therpist thing is about to come to an end... but I have some people at church who have always supported me in my healing journey - it's me that is reluctant to actually call them when I need to. Relationships are hard. I like your 'Father to the fatherless' statement also... means a lot to me also.
Stevie... you cease to amaze me... Welcome to Day 13!
Day 9 and counting
Keep focused everyone... we can do this!
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 71
Day 6 off to a horrible start!
I was lucky enough to fall asleep around 10:30pm (HUGE accomplishment). I took an ibuprophin PM early and made myself lay down with my husband. I knew I was going to need to take him to work at 5:30 (our other car broke) because my son has violin lessons this evening. It is only a mile away but it's suppose to be cold and I am pretty sick. Well my 2yr old woke up at 1:30 screaming and crying to get out of her crib. She is a loud one. Finally I gave in and let her get in bed with us. She kept talking and rolling around and kicking us until 4 I put her back in her room..where she screamed until after 4:30. I think she was over tired because she had no nap yesterday. After she fell asleep the heater started making a weird clicking noise. Well I was too tired to get up and take husband to work. Had to get up after 7 to get son off to school. Now my daughter is sleeping soundly (Oh how I would love to give her a taste of her own medicine if it didn't mean I would suffer too) and the heater quit making the noise.
I will be without a vehical this weekend, which is normally OK because I live in walking distance to many places. But I dread walking to violin lessons at 6pm when the sun will be going down and this sickness sucks. If I got real sick my husband would be able to come home for me to go to the Doc.Im feeling better now that I am up and had my coffee (hallelujava) but I'm still in a pissy mood.
If I did not change my original plan of quitting drinking on New Years, I would most likely want to get a bottle of wine this weekend.
Fraggy,
First off let me say this it is so awesome that you are a farmer! It seems like it would be great for the mind. Do you mind if I as what kind of crop(s)?
Second, yes..what you said is a harsh reality. Although my husband is my rock in so many ways, I don't think he's going to be that for this. I think I'm going to be using this place a lot. You are blessed to have your physician friend! I've never been to an AA meeting either. I hope to one day muster up the courage to go. I'm just shy and don't like going to places alone. Especially when I don't know what to expect, and especially if theres a chance I will get emotional and cry.
Marine,
My boyfriend died in 2007. He was more than a boyfriend. We grew up together, born one week apart, were life long friends. We both went through divorces and had sons the same age. We first kissed on April Fools Day of 2006 and fell in love quickly. We became a family. The following year was magical and we knew we would be together forever. Then, less than 2 weeks before April Fools Day 2007- he mysteriously drowned. The joke was on me. I'm trying not to ramble on about this because I've already typed so much, but I know that kind of pain. I was in a deep dark hell for a very long time after that. Until I met my husband actually. My boyfriends birthday was exactly one week after mine, my husbands is exactly one week before. My husband has the same name as my best friend since 3rd grade. I met my husband through my boyfriends ex wife. There are so many weird circumstances. Ooops I said I wouldn't ramble. I knew I shouldnt have started talking about that, but his death and getting passed it was the biggest struggle of my life. If someone showed me my life now in 2007 I would not believe that I would ever be happy. Damnit I probably shouldn't post while drinking coffee.
Insertnamehere,
I was never much of one for the holidays either until a couple years ago (except Halloween I've always loved). Still not a fan of Thanksgiving. Sitting at a table surrounded by a bunch of people conversating over a huge Turkey isn't appealing, being that I'm a vegetarian with social anxiety.
I was lucky enough to fall asleep around 10:30pm (HUGE accomplishment). I took an ibuprophin PM early and made myself lay down with my husband. I knew I was going to need to take him to work at 5:30 (our other car broke) because my son has violin lessons this evening. It is only a mile away but it's suppose to be cold and I am pretty sick. Well my 2yr old woke up at 1:30 screaming and crying to get out of her crib. She is a loud one. Finally I gave in and let her get in bed with us. She kept talking and rolling around and kicking us until 4 I put her back in her room..where she screamed until after 4:30. I think she was over tired because she had no nap yesterday. After she fell asleep the heater started making a weird clicking noise. Well I was too tired to get up and take husband to work. Had to get up after 7 to get son off to school. Now my daughter is sleeping soundly (Oh how I would love to give her a taste of her own medicine if it didn't mean I would suffer too) and the heater quit making the noise.
I will be without a vehical this weekend, which is normally OK because I live in walking distance to many places. But I dread walking to violin lessons at 6pm when the sun will be going down and this sickness sucks. If I got real sick my husband would be able to come home for me to go to the Doc.Im feeling better now that I am up and had my coffee (hallelujava) but I'm still in a pissy mood.
If I did not change my original plan of quitting drinking on New Years, I would most likely want to get a bottle of wine this weekend.
Fraggy,
First off let me say this it is so awesome that you are a farmer! It seems like it would be great for the mind. Do you mind if I as what kind of crop(s)?
Second, yes..what you said is a harsh reality. Although my husband is my rock in so many ways, I don't think he's going to be that for this. I think I'm going to be using this place a lot. You are blessed to have your physician friend! I've never been to an AA meeting either. I hope to one day muster up the courage to go. I'm just shy and don't like going to places alone. Especially when I don't know what to expect, and especially if theres a chance I will get emotional and cry.
Marine,
My boyfriend died in 2007. He was more than a boyfriend. We grew up together, born one week apart, were life long friends. We both went through divorces and had sons the same age. We first kissed on April Fools Day of 2006 and fell in love quickly. We became a family. The following year was magical and we knew we would be together forever. Then, less than 2 weeks before April Fools Day 2007- he mysteriously drowned. The joke was on me. I'm trying not to ramble on about this because I've already typed so much, but I know that kind of pain. I was in a deep dark hell for a very long time after that. Until I met my husband actually. My boyfriends birthday was exactly one week after mine, my husbands is exactly one week before. My husband has the same name as my best friend since 3rd grade. I met my husband through my boyfriends ex wife. There are so many weird circumstances. Ooops I said I wouldn't ramble. I knew I shouldnt have started talking about that, but his death and getting passed it was the biggest struggle of my life. If someone showed me my life now in 2007 I would not believe that I would ever be happy. Damnit I probably shouldn't post while drinking coffee.
Insertnamehere,
I was never much of one for the holidays either until a couple years ago (except Halloween I've always loved). Still not a fan of Thanksgiving. Sitting at a table surrounded by a bunch of people conversating over a huge Turkey isn't appealing, being that I'm a vegetarian with social anxiety.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Philly PA
Posts: 814
InParticular!! I was just getting to posting here you dog.
I'm at a month!!
. Here's my Happy Dance (holiday themed!)
I'm getting you next time IP
Oh an Dive2Deep is at a month as well!! We joined Berdnat
Keep going class
I'm at a month!!
. Here's my Happy Dance (holiday themed!) I'm getting you next time IP
Oh an Dive2Deep is at a month as well!! We joined Berdnat
Keep going class
Press Start To Continue
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Northeast Ohio
Posts: 89
Congrats, Tigger and IP! A month or more is awesome.
Day 8 for me. I slept 10 hours last night and woke up still tired. Haven't slept like that since I was a teenager. The brain fog seems to be lifting, at least, although I still have zero motivation to do much of anything.
Day 8 for me. I slept 10 hours last night and woke up still tired. Haven't slept like that since I was a teenager. The brain fog seems to be lifting, at least, although I still have zero motivation to do much of anything.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Day 23
Good day class of Nov.
I have been having strong compulsions and keep lettting my mind entertain a drink, have not though keep thinking thru it . Thought I would share something . Thanks all for always helping.
The thought that comes before having a slip seem to be patrly subconscious. And yet it is likely that at least part of these thoughts get into our consciouness. An idle thought connected with drinking casually pops into our mind. That is the crucial moment. Will I harbor that thought even for one minute or will I banish it from my mind at once?
If I stay , it may develop into a daydream . I may begin to see a cold glass of beer or a strong coctail in my mind's eye. If I allow the daydream to stay in my mind, it may lead to a decision, however unconscious to pick up a drink. Then I am headed off to relapase again.
To all that still let that stinkin thinkin ( me included) get in our minds.
Lets rock on to a another 24 hr of sobriety and wake tomorrow with no hangover or guilt .
Good love, Inda
Good day class of Nov.
I have been having strong compulsions and keep lettting my mind entertain a drink, have not though keep thinking thru it . Thought I would share something . Thanks all for always helping.
The thought that comes before having a slip seem to be patrly subconscious. And yet it is likely that at least part of these thoughts get into our consciouness. An idle thought connected with drinking casually pops into our mind. That is the crucial moment. Will I harbor that thought even for one minute or will I banish it from my mind at once?
If I stay , it may develop into a daydream . I may begin to see a cold glass of beer or a strong coctail in my mind's eye. If I allow the daydream to stay in my mind, it may lead to a decision, however unconscious to pick up a drink. Then I am headed off to relapase again.
To all that still let that stinkin thinkin ( me included) get in our minds.
Lets rock on to a another 24 hr of sobriety and wake tomorrow with no hangover or guilt .
Good love, Inda
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Day 13 coming to an end,today has been a hard day....I have been thinking about drinking all day but i have managed to stay sober....I will be going to bed to watch tv soon and that will make it easier as i never drank in bed.....Really cannot believe that tommorow will be Day 14 for me,a whole 2 weeks and i could never have done it without you guys....So i just want to say thanks to each and every one of you that have given me your support....All of you guys rock......
- Motivated -
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 309
What's up my November peoples? Just got back from my workout. I think I've been going at it a little too hard. Might've pulled something in my back. Congrats to everyone hitting the 30-day and beyond mark and everyone staying sober in general.
I gave all my credit cards and cash to some family so I wouldn't be tempted to use it on liquor in my early sobriety. I needed to pay some bills so I have my debit card on me for the first time in 22 days. The thought popped into my head momentarily but left pretty quickly.
I gave all my credit cards and cash to some family so I wouldn't be tempted to use it on liquor in my early sobriety. I needed to pay some bills so I have my debit card on me for the first time in 22 days. The thought popped into my head momentarily but left pretty quickly.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 224
Hello,
Off to give a presentation in a few. Grossly unprepared. I hope I figure it out before I'm standing up there!
Congrats to everyone for making it another day!
Hubby n I have been talking about New Years options. He understands whee I am coming from, which is nice. We'll see what happens!
Take Care,
CatFry
Off to give a presentation in a few. Grossly unprepared. I hope I figure it out before I'm standing up there!
Congrats to everyone for making it another day!
Hubby n I have been talking about New Years options. He understands whee I am coming from, which is nice. We'll see what happens!
Take Care,
CatFry
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 62
Wow, everyone's doing great - we really do rock!
Day 34 for me. The weekends are still a bit difficult but getting easier.
I too consider my spouse my best friend in the whole world, but even though he's in the medical field and has dealt with alcoholic patients, He couldn't understand why my decision to quit drinking. We were each other's drinking buddy, but my situation was that since he has always worked long hours, I was by myself in the evenings and that's when I would do most of my drinking. I would most times be in bed when he got home, and I would hide my bottles very well. I would throw away the empties in the trashcan outside and I would make sure they weren't visible in the trash can in case he went to throw something outside. I would even then get up at 5 am, headaches and all to exercise every day so i guess that lead him to not be suspicious. He would make a comment every now and then about my drinking when we went out but never said anything that made me think he was really concerned about it. For the most part, he seemed ok with my "only drinking on weekends" My kids would make comments here and there "somewhat" jokingly, and i would get embarrassed and feel bad but apparently not enough to make me quit. I know they were concerned because they saw me drinking in the evenings. I hated myself for all the lying, hiding, pretending etc. He still offers me a drink every now and then and asks "whats wrong with just a taste?" he knows my answer, though.
Thats the short of it and thats why I am so so glad to have found SR and all my new friends here. I don't have to pretend or lie to you. I know I've said it many a time, but I truly do appreciate all of you.
Day 34 for me. The weekends are still a bit difficult but getting easier.
I too consider my spouse my best friend in the whole world, but even though he's in the medical field and has dealt with alcoholic patients, He couldn't understand why my decision to quit drinking. We were each other's drinking buddy, but my situation was that since he has always worked long hours, I was by myself in the evenings and that's when I would do most of my drinking. I would most times be in bed when he got home, and I would hide my bottles very well. I would throw away the empties in the trashcan outside and I would make sure they weren't visible in the trash can in case he went to throw something outside. I would even then get up at 5 am, headaches and all to exercise every day so i guess that lead him to not be suspicious. He would make a comment every now and then about my drinking when we went out but never said anything that made me think he was really concerned about it. For the most part, he seemed ok with my "only drinking on weekends" My kids would make comments here and there "somewhat" jokingly, and i would get embarrassed and feel bad but apparently not enough to make me quit. I know they were concerned because they saw me drinking in the evenings. I hated myself for all the lying, hiding, pretending etc. He still offers me a drink every now and then and asks "whats wrong with just a taste?" he knows my answer, though.
Thats the short of it and thats why I am so so glad to have found SR and all my new friends here. I don't have to pretend or lie to you. I know I've said it many a time, but I truly do appreciate all of you.
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