Codependency and Beyond Part 21
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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More prayers coming for Rita, Amy, please do pass along my PINK PRAYERS surrounding her with love.
Today's reading, once again: perfect. It feels good to make choices rather than knee-jerk-Codie responses of either Victim or Rescuer or a mix. I have deleted the rant I wrote in honor of Rita. I am being strong today in my Baby-Beginner-Recovery. ********{Rita}}}}}}
Today's reading, once again: perfect. It feels good to make choices rather than knee-jerk-Codie responses of either Victim or Rescuer or a mix. I have deleted the rant I wrote in honor of Rita. I am being strong today in my Baby-Beginner-Recovery. ********{Rita}}}}}}
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I have passed on the codie-crew prayers to ((Rita)).
Had a long talk with my aunt M, last night. Turns out they haven't done the procedure on g'ma, were going to do it tonight.
Aunt M has always taken care of everyone. She's had enough, having lost her son and having Crohn's flareups. My uncle is supporting her, which is a good thing because he, too, always let her take care of his mom, brothers, and nephew.
It was really good to be able to talk to her about codependency, addiction, and be able to be HER sounding board. I told her "you've GOT to take care of you..you are very precious" and I could tell by the end of the conversation that she felt better.
Very grateful that I can call her, don't need a darned thing but to hear her voice, and that she can open up to me. Darned if this recovery stuff isn't totally awesome.
Also talked to aunt Phyllis and uncle Bob's blood pressure is still low, but they have doctor's appointments (both of them) next week and uncle Bob says he's doing "just fine".
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Had a long talk with my aunt M, last night. Turns out they haven't done the procedure on g'ma, were going to do it tonight.
Aunt M has always taken care of everyone. She's had enough, having lost her son and having Crohn's flareups. My uncle is supporting her, which is a good thing because he, too, always let her take care of his mom, brothers, and nephew.
It was really good to be able to talk to her about codependency, addiction, and be able to be HER sounding board. I told her "you've GOT to take care of you..you are very precious" and I could tell by the end of the conversation that she felt better.
Very grateful that I can call her, don't need a darned thing but to hear her voice, and that she can open up to me. Darned if this recovery stuff isn't totally awesome.
Also talked to aunt Phyllis and uncle Bob's blood pressure is still low, but they have doctor's appointments (both of them) next week and uncle Bob says he's doing "just fine".
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
I am in the worst funk. Just flat line blah! Went to dentist because a molar is driving me crazy and yep, it has a nasty cavity. Problem is, they said I have bone loss and there's no way to salvage it. Here we go again, another extraction, bone graft and implant. I asked what can we do to buy me time and they said nothing at first, but I kept pressing and they said root canal though it's not financially a sound idea. I about blew up and told them my financial situation is MY business and decision ($1000 vs $4500). I'm just not ready to do this all over again, financially or mentally. I really have to snap out of this one person pity party *sigh*
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Chino, I'm so sorry. I seem to be going through endless dental problems too and have maxed out my dental insurance for the year. I didn't have a bone graft but I did have an implant, and it's a big deal. Plus, there's a reasonable chance it won't take, and you've spent all the time and money for nothing. I don't blame you for being in a funk. And, I just had a root canal done recently too, and my dental office made me feel small for not jumping at the chance to spend a boatload of money. 
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Join Date: Feb 2008
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Lisa, I think I like your plan of not doing anything. I'm so damn tired of it all. I even had to throw a mini tantrum today to get them to use a smaller bite wing for the xray. The adult size literally cuts the roof and floor of my mouth when it's time to bite down. They said the tooth and root was probably too big for a child size and I insisted there was only one way to find out. It was a perfect fit.
I think I must be hormonal because I've been crying off and on this evening. I'd be so much happier if I could beat something or someone up
Thank you for listening
I think I must be hormonal because I've been crying off and on this evening. I'd be so much happier if I could beat something or someone up
Thank you for listening
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Chino))) - hormones AND a bad tooth? ewwww, not a good combination. Wanna borrow Brit's softball bat and beat up some pillows or something?
Sorry everyone is dealing with dental stuff. I'm just dealing with finding scholarly sources without having to PAY a small fortune for access. I could pay off my CAR with what some of these places want.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Sorry everyone is dealing with dental stuff. I'm just dealing with finding scholarly sources without having to PAY a small fortune for access. I could pay off my CAR with what some of these places want.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Thursday, September 15, 2011
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Getting Through Hard Times
We are sturdy beings. But in many ways, we are fragile. We can accept change and loss, but this comes at our own pace and in our own way. And only God and we can determine the timing.
—Codependent No More
Hard times, stressful times, are not all there is to life, but they are part of life, growth, and moving forward.
What we do with hard times, or hard energy, is our choice.
We can use the energy of hard times to work out, and work through, our issues. We can use it to fine-tune our skills and our spirituality. Or we can go through these situations suffering, storing up bitterness, and refusing to grow or change.
Hard times can motivate and mold us to bring out our best. We can use these times to move forward and upward to higher levels of living, loving, and growth.
The choice is ours. Will we let ourselves feel? Will we take a spiritual approach, including gratitude, toward the event? Will we question life and our Higher Power by asking what we're supposed to be learning and doing? Or will we use the incident to prove old, negative beliefs? Will we say, "Nothing good ever happens to me... I'm just a victim... People can't be trusted... Life isn't worth living"?
We do not always require hard energy, or stress, to motivate us to grow and change. We do not have to create stress, seek it, or attract it. But if it's there, we can learn to channel it into growth and use it for achieving what's good in life.
God, let my hard times be healing times
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Getting Through Hard Times
We are sturdy beings. But in many ways, we are fragile. We can accept change and loss, but this comes at our own pace and in our own way. And only God and we can determine the timing.
—Codependent No More
Hard times, stressful times, are not all there is to life, but they are part of life, growth, and moving forward.
What we do with hard times, or hard energy, is our choice.
We can use the energy of hard times to work out, and work through, our issues. We can use it to fine-tune our skills and our spirituality. Or we can go through these situations suffering, storing up bitterness, and refusing to grow or change.
Hard times can motivate and mold us to bring out our best. We can use these times to move forward and upward to higher levels of living, loving, and growth.
The choice is ours. Will we let ourselves feel? Will we take a spiritual approach, including gratitude, toward the event? Will we question life and our Higher Power by asking what we're supposed to be learning and doing? Or will we use the incident to prove old, negative beliefs? Will we say, "Nothing good ever happens to me... I'm just a victim... People can't be trusted... Life isn't worth living"?
We do not always require hard energy, or stress, to motivate us to grow and change. We do not have to create stress, seek it, or attract it. But if it's there, we can learn to channel it into growth and use it for achieving what's good in life.
God, let my hard times be healing times
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Hugs for dental woes, that's the worst. Chino good for you for advocating for yourself--cutting your mouth is not OK! I think self-care advocacy is an incredible part of Recovery.
Amy, I think that students should be able to access scholarly work at no fee, hope you are able to find the research you need.
DH & I are loaning my sister money for her lawyer. I was able to talk to her explicitly about what we expect in terms of repayment. ($5 or $10/month) Felt good to be able to speak the words about it. Feels good that DH & I are aligned instead of me rushing headlong as a Codie Rescuer. Feels good that it wasn't a comfortable conversation but we moved through and past it.
Her divorce is so messy but I feel today I can help her without getting enmeshed in it. Is that loving-detachment, friends?
Amy, I think that students should be able to access scholarly work at no fee, hope you are able to find the research you need.
DH & I are loaning my sister money for her lawyer. I was able to talk to her explicitly about what we expect in terms of repayment. ($5 or $10/month) Felt good to be able to speak the words about it. Feels good that DH & I are aligned instead of me rushing headlong as a Codie Rescuer. Feels good that it wasn't a comfortable conversation but we moved through and past it.
Her divorce is so messy but I feel today I can help her without getting enmeshed in it. Is that loving-detachment, friends?
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
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Frances, that is loving detachment and good for you! And I agree with no scholarly access fees. I wonder if the students who wrote some of them ever benefit from those fees?
My dentist came up with a perfect solution! It was his young partner I saw yesterday and she talked with him today as he's out of town until Monday. Anyway, he said a pulpectomy is the way to go and it can buy me up to a year of time, as long as I keep the tooth and gum squeaky clean. It's something they usually do for children when they need the tooth to remain until the adult tooth comes in. My son had it done when he was five and busted his front tooth. It was a walk in the park for him and woohoo I feel so much better. Relief is on the way and 8 solid hours of sleep last night helped, too.
A little off topic, but she offered me pain killers yesterday. I declined since I still have some, but the truth is they make me so nauseous these days that I half them and they're the weaker ones (lorcet). I've been sticking with ibuprofen instead. Five years ago was a different story. I asked my daughter's addictionologist one time if a persons response to DOC can change with natural hormonal changes and he said absolutely, it all works together or not. Anyway, I did tell them I'll need more anti-nausea meds for the procedure.
What a difference a day makes!!!
My dentist came up with a perfect solution! It was his young partner I saw yesterday and she talked with him today as he's out of town until Monday. Anyway, he said a pulpectomy is the way to go and it can buy me up to a year of time, as long as I keep the tooth and gum squeaky clean. It's something they usually do for children when they need the tooth to remain until the adult tooth comes in. My son had it done when he was five and busted his front tooth. It was a walk in the park for him and woohoo I feel so much better. Relief is on the way and 8 solid hours of sleep last night helped, too.
A little off topic, but she offered me pain killers yesterday. I declined since I still have some, but the truth is they make me so nauseous these days that I half them and they're the weaker ones (lorcet). I've been sticking with ibuprofen instead. Five years ago was a different story. I asked my daughter's addictionologist one time if a persons response to DOC can change with natural hormonal changes and he said absolutely, it all works together or not. Anyway, I did tell them I'll need more anti-nausea meds for the procedure.
What a difference a day makes!!!
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Chino))) - YAY on a better solution!
(((Frances))) - I agree, that is loving detachment and YAY for you, too!
Okay, so did find out we have a virtual library. However, the "moron" instructor specifically states to go to one website to get the information (the organization for health information management professionals), THEN states the requirement for 3 scholarly sources. They have TONS of articles, but are not what fits the definition of scholarly sources.
I e-mailed her, have spent another 2 hours on that site and despite what I search for in quotation marks, I get a lot of what I don't need, and some refer me back to the darned website I started with.
Have e-mailed the instructor and we have a "live" lecture tonight (online). She rarely responds, and takes her time when she does, so maybe I'll find out something tonight.
I am so frustrated, I could scream. Maybe now would be a good time to go get my meds from the dr, pay my car tags, and check out my work schedule?
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
(((Frances))) - I agree, that is loving detachment and YAY for you, too!
Okay, so did find out we have a virtual library. However, the "moron" instructor specifically states to go to one website to get the information (the organization for health information management professionals), THEN states the requirement for 3 scholarly sources. They have TONS of articles, but are not what fits the definition of scholarly sources.
I e-mailed her, have spent another 2 hours on that site and despite what I search for in quotation marks, I get a lot of what I don't need, and some refer me back to the darned website I started with.
Have e-mailed the instructor and we have a "live" lecture tonight (online). She rarely responds, and takes her time when she does, so maybe I'll find out something tonight.
I am so frustrated, I could scream. Maybe now would be a good time to go get my meds from the dr, pay my car tags, and check out my work schedule?
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
Chino i have a punchbag - cost me about 65-70 uk £ including the mount gloves wraps and all that. Couldn't locate one of the wraps today though but i still took out what was then lots of anger onto/into the bag before i saw parents today which went excellently.
Personally being female is no reason not to purchase and/or use/abuse a punchbag imo. pulpectomy though hrmf :**} more medial things i dont understand :/
Personally being female is no reason not to purchase and/or use/abuse a punchbag imo. pulpectomy though hrmf :**} more medial things i dont understand :/
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
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Okay, talked to dad, since I am still dependent on him, and he agrees...going to check out my work schedule AND turn in my letter of resignation. I'll work this week, as that's just how I am, but after that? NO MORE McD's!!!!!!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
NO MORE McD! Congrats on this big brave step Amy.
Feeling anxious about trying to get new freelance writing clients and realizing all the things that I don't know...but I've taped these words to my monitor: "All is well, events are unfolding as they should, and all will work out for good in my life--better than I can imagine."
Feeling anxious about trying to get new freelance writing clients and realizing all the things that I don't know...but I've taped these words to my monitor: "All is well, events are unfolding as they should, and all will work out for good in my life--better than I can imagine."
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Frances))) - good words to look often at!
I gave M my letter of resignation and told him that I had planned on waiting until my car was paid off (told him how taxing school is, and that I NEED to do my other job), but that after working with C, the other night, I just couldn't take it any more.
We had a good discussion, he's already tried to get C to chill out, but recommended, strongly, that I call Mrs. P, the store owner. He said she rarely picks up the phone, so leave a message, so that's what I did.
He's sad, and I really do like him as he's always had my back (other than getting confused on my schedule a few times), and I am leaving on good terms. I called Dotty to let her know, she's not happy to lose me, either, but promised that I will get to work back DT tomorrow, "no matter what C says". I'm just thrilled that 48 hours from now, I will be working my LAST shift. May even get a cake or some cupcakes or something to celebrate
It was GREAT getting out of the house, I was car-dancing to my favorite music and got most of my errands run.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I gave M my letter of resignation and told him that I had planned on waiting until my car was paid off (told him how taxing school is, and that I NEED to do my other job), but that after working with C, the other night, I just couldn't take it any more.
We had a good discussion, he's already tried to get C to chill out, but recommended, strongly, that I call Mrs. P, the store owner. He said she rarely picks up the phone, so leave a message, so that's what I did.
He's sad, and I really do like him as he's always had my back (other than getting confused on my schedule a few times), and I am leaving on good terms. I called Dotty to let her know, she's not happy to lose me, either, but promised that I will get to work back DT tomorrow, "no matter what C says". I'm just thrilled that 48 hours from now, I will be working my LAST shift. May even get a cake or some cupcakes or something to celebrate
It was GREAT getting out of the house, I was car-dancing to my favorite music and got most of my errands run.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Kevin, I'm the proud owner of a black belt in martial arts. I used to have a punching bag but somehow or another it found it's way to the office a few months ago and hasn't come home yet. I've been blowing off getting a new one but guess it's time.
Amy! So happy for you!!!! Frances, those are definitely words to live by
Amy! So happy for you!!!! Frances, those are definitely words to live by
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Yay Amy!!!!!!!!
So I had a costly codie slip I thought I would share. My pregnant daughter got behind 1.5 months on the mortgage on the exs house. I knee jerked and took the bills, told her I would be the landlord for the time being and she could just concentrate on being pregnant. I spent 2k getting all the bills caught up last month, and then she informed me that she had made the decision to be landlady again (she nicely told me to buzz off).
Thing is, the house is hers and her brothers, not mine. I over stepped my boundaries to rescue her.
I told her I owed her money for dog food and storage (when I left 2 years ago I didnt take much) so she could consider the 2k 2 years worth.
and I am back in my hula hoop
So I had a costly codie slip I thought I would share. My pregnant daughter got behind 1.5 months on the mortgage on the exs house. I knee jerked and took the bills, told her I would be the landlord for the time being and she could just concentrate on being pregnant. I spent 2k getting all the bills caught up last month, and then she informed me that she had made the decision to be landlady again (she nicely told me to buzz off).
Thing is, the house is hers and her brothers, not mine. I over stepped my boundaries to rescue her.
I told her I owed her money for dog food and storage (when I left 2 years ago I didnt take much) so she could consider the 2k 2 years worth.
and I am back in my hula hoop
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