Class Of May 2011 Part 3
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 393
Newstart, congratulations on almost half a year. I have had pictures of me dancing drunk, posted on Facebook, and I don't dance. It goes away gradually, kind of like losing a pet.
Concor, I know you work many hours, so I compared myself to you. If I didn't have to kill myself throughout the year(no vacation, no sick time, no personal time) I would be a different person. That's all I'm saying. I have been at my job for almost 16 years, and I have no preparation for my future. My mortgage is barely paid month to month. I suffer from physical financial stress(new disorder). I am seriously suffering physical symptoms from my situation. I see the doctor on Thursday, so we will see.
Camedown, maybe I should have used you in my metaphor. I know you work many hours also. I wish you well with your financial strain. I'm not sure how old you are, but when I do the overtime, it's not the same as when I was in my twenties. At least you have a plan though.
Sugarbear and Lushly, you two are troopers.
Dee, after reading your posts for so long, I've got to know about you and your situation.
Makes me look like a whiner. I guess that's why they have a special section for that here.
Fitz and BeenDown, always nice to see you posting in the May group.
Maybe we all get MINER tatoos. Just jiv'in.
Concor, I know you work many hours, so I compared myself to you. If I didn't have to kill myself throughout the year(no vacation, no sick time, no personal time) I would be a different person. That's all I'm saying. I have been at my job for almost 16 years, and I have no preparation for my future. My mortgage is barely paid month to month. I suffer from physical financial stress(new disorder). I am seriously suffering physical symptoms from my situation. I see the doctor on Thursday, so we will see.
Camedown, maybe I should have used you in my metaphor. I know you work many hours also. I wish you well with your financial strain. I'm not sure how old you are, but when I do the overtime, it's not the same as when I was in my twenties. At least you have a plan though.
Sugarbear and Lushly, you two are troopers.
Dee, after reading your posts for so long, I've got to know about you and your situation.
Makes me look like a whiner. I guess that's why they have a special section for that here.
Fitz and BeenDown, always nice to see you posting in the May group.
Maybe we all get MINER tatoos. Just jiv'in.
MINEr
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 505
I'm 42 loving, just young enough to still be able to pull 70 hour weeks, maybe for another 5 years or so. I find that being in an active business helps me stay sprite and chipper, except for last night. Talk about trials, Youngs Market, the largest liquor distributor in the Bay Area, had a large party for their clients at my hotel. Six open bars, all hosted, with every premium spirit you can imagine on hand. Smoking hot girls in skimpy outfits walking around with trays of shots for free, offering them to anyone, uniform or no. I was actually suprised that my cravings were no more than a passing thought, I guess all my hard recovery work is finally starting to make some headway in my brain chemistry. The only bad part was that they served no food, so the hundreds of drunk people of course descended on my restaurant and abused us relentlessly. 400 meals in two hours, f**k me. Finished my shift, grabbed a root beer, headed to the office, and cranked some awesome music. Today is the start of my weekend, and it was well earned.
A MINER tattoo, I like it.
camedown
A MINER tattoo, I like it.
camedown
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Hi all. I'm still alive (I guess, no one's told me differently) and have been AWOL for awhile so I've been reading and trying to catch up on things. It's amazing how life keeps just going on no matter what. Like breathing, it just does its thing. Breathe in, breathe out--life in, life out. Not much to report here, involved in a relationship sober with a sober person, very strange--can't blame issues on booze just on being human. You all take care and all my best to you all.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 393
That sounds like some obstacle Camedown. That reminds me of hosting parties without food. Then I learned to have something for picking, usually a turkey, it was easy to cook, and served many people.
Fitz, many words of wisdom in a small paragraph. I personally liked:Breathe in, breathe out--life in, life out. Hope your new relationship works out.
Fitz, many words of wisdom in a small paragraph. I personally liked:Breathe in, breathe out--life in, life out. Hope your new relationship works out.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Hey thanks, just having it its works out, however it works out. Never in my life have I risked myself being myself. Alcohol was my ultimate Iron Man suit to deal with relationships. If I lost in love sober I will have won more than in winning in love drunk. It's all good. Again Dee, thanks for always being here. I need more Deeness, you little Buddha.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Mountains of W.N.C.
Posts: 198
lovingit,
Indeed I do work my ass off, but I take great pride in being able to put in a hard days work and earn an honest living. I do make it a point to take a vacation each summer & working for myself allows down time whenever needed.
That being said, I have no retirement or a home to call my own.
Considering how many who have had to walk away from mortgages, I would think someone in your position is doing better than most.
I do hate to hear that a new issue has reared it's head, but am hopeful that your physician will be able to help.
Hope the rest of the Mayday gang is well!
Indeed I do work my ass off, but I take great pride in being able to put in a hard days work and earn an honest living. I do make it a point to take a vacation each summer & working for myself allows down time whenever needed.
That being said, I have no retirement or a home to call my own.
Considering how many who have had to walk away from mortgages, I would think someone in your position is doing better than most.
I do hate to hear that a new issue has reared it's head, but am hopeful that your physician will be able to help.
Hope the rest of the Mayday gang is well!
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 94
Mycoolfitz... Hearing you on the sober relationship thing...I'm not at relationship stage but just getting to know someone and having them get to know you sober is unheard of in my past. I don't think it's happened since I was about 14 or 15... So I kind of forget how to do romance etc and come across all coy which is not usually my style at all especially after drinking......but that might finally be of benefit to me now!
I loved what you said about losing in love sober v winning in love drunk. Wise words
I loved what you said about losing in love sober v winning in love drunk. Wise words
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Hi all. Tomorrow we're meeting at a little cabin at Lake Tahoe. We'll toast our friendship with sparkling cider. "Normally" I'd be getting buzzed now in anticipation over something that never really was going to be real because of the booze. It was always the drink first and whatever else was a bonus. Now its all different. Its funny but the pressure now is to just be "me". I've never really done that in my adult life, which I guess I'm just actually having now. Hoping you all have a good sober day and I guess any day sober is good so how can we lose?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Mt
Posts: 298
Hey May it Never Enders. I am still trudging the road to happy destiny. It seems to take due diligence that is for sure. I agree with coolfritz, life just keeps happening. It is different everyday. I survived a pretty emotionally charged week last week without a drink. This week has been better. Going to get my 89 year old mother this week-end. She will be staying with me for awhile, so as my grandson and daughter leave, my mother comes. A new set of different.
camedown I am proud of you. I am not sure I could get through a situation like that.
I got invited to a work Halloween party and I said out loud "I don't drink anymore" it sounded so weird, like it was echoing off a canyon or something. I did think to myself that this recovery thing is sticking. Not sure if I will go. I will see how I feel about it when the time comes. Am I spiritually fit enough at this moment?
Loving it I am glad you are still posting. I am concerned for you and just knowing you are checking in with the gang, helps.
Newstart. I wish you the best in your realtionship pursuit. I am in a 30 year marriage that I used to worry about a lot and was pretty sure it was in the SH*t can, but it has been suggested by many, that I work on myself and the rest will fall into place. So.. You know what it's getting better. So as long as you keep up the work of recovery, dating will be successful.
love you guys knowing you are out there is huge comfort.(())s the lushly one
camedown I am proud of you. I am not sure I could get through a situation like that.
I got invited to a work Halloween party and I said out loud "I don't drink anymore" it sounded so weird, like it was echoing off a canyon or something. I did think to myself that this recovery thing is sticking. Not sure if I will go. I will see how I feel about it when the time comes. Am I spiritually fit enough at this moment?
Loving it I am glad you are still posting. I am concerned for you and just knowing you are checking in with the gang, helps.
Newstart. I wish you the best in your realtionship pursuit. I am in a 30 year marriage that I used to worry about a lot and was pretty sure it was in the SH*t can, but it has been suggested by many, that I work on myself and the rest will fall into place. So.. You know what it's getting better. So as long as you keep up the work of recovery, dating will be successful.
love you guys knowing you are out there is huge comfort.(())s the lushly one
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 393
Thanks Lushly, that means alot to me.
I like to check in with you guys, but it's hard to be positive sometimes, and I hate posting negatives.
So, I went to the doctor this morning thinking they were going to just draw blood and talk to me about how the meds are working. I ended up with a complete 1 hour physical.
My heart is good on the EKG. Blood pressure 166/95(high) I had to do the naked turn and cough thing, and even funnier was the whole time there was the latex gloves and the lubricant on the counter. The nurse had put them there thinking the doctor might want to check me there. Thank God it never happened, I guess because I'm 35 and not ready for that yet. Just thought I'd share. TMI
I'll get the blood results probably Monday. A little worried, but finding out the heart is good today, buys me piece of mind. We spoke of the two meds I'm on. One is working, one is not. The Welbutrin that was originally prescribed to quit smoking is helping with depression, coffee intake, and smoking. It took about 6 weeks to start working, and it's weird, but my energy level is great, and I smoke less, and not nearly as much coffee. Eating like a pig also. The muscle relaxer she gave me doesn't do **** for my tension/clenching. I even abused them some and they didn't do anything. So that will be discontinued, but I will stay on the Welbutrin only.
She is not a pill doctor. She avoids it as best she can. Her advice is for me to try Yoga. We spoke a little of meditation too. I don't really have time to sign up for classes. I'm working Monday through Saturday, and Sunday is house stuff, food shopping, laundry, lawn....you get the point. Again, as I have admitted, this is why I'm back to drinking. It's probably been about a month now, and I haven't had one hangover. I really don't know what's worse: the damage to the liver and kidneys, or what the tension could do to oneself.
It is not easy for me to find answers lately. The doctor also suggested I change my work situation. Can't do that today, in this economy, and an underwater mortgage. Kind of stuck in this job, and house, in this state.
Sorry Miner's to be so selfish again.
I'm glad your all succeeding in the journey of sobriety,
Lovingit
I like to check in with you guys, but it's hard to be positive sometimes, and I hate posting negatives.
So, I went to the doctor this morning thinking they were going to just draw blood and talk to me about how the meds are working. I ended up with a complete 1 hour physical.
My heart is good on the EKG. Blood pressure 166/95(high) I had to do the naked turn and cough thing, and even funnier was the whole time there was the latex gloves and the lubricant on the counter. The nurse had put them there thinking the doctor might want to check me there. Thank God it never happened, I guess because I'm 35 and not ready for that yet. Just thought I'd share. TMI
I'll get the blood results probably Monday. A little worried, but finding out the heart is good today, buys me piece of mind. We spoke of the two meds I'm on. One is working, one is not. The Welbutrin that was originally prescribed to quit smoking is helping with depression, coffee intake, and smoking. It took about 6 weeks to start working, and it's weird, but my energy level is great, and I smoke less, and not nearly as much coffee. Eating like a pig also. The muscle relaxer she gave me doesn't do **** for my tension/clenching. I even abused them some and they didn't do anything. So that will be discontinued, but I will stay on the Welbutrin only.
She is not a pill doctor. She avoids it as best she can. Her advice is for me to try Yoga. We spoke a little of meditation too. I don't really have time to sign up for classes. I'm working Monday through Saturday, and Sunday is house stuff, food shopping, laundry, lawn....you get the point. Again, as I have admitted, this is why I'm back to drinking. It's probably been about a month now, and I haven't had one hangover. I really don't know what's worse: the damage to the liver and kidneys, or what the tension could do to oneself.
It is not easy for me to find answers lately. The doctor also suggested I change my work situation. Can't do that today, in this economy, and an underwater mortgage. Kind of stuck in this job, and house, in this state.
Sorry Miner's to be so selfish again.
I'm glad your all succeeding in the journey of sobriety,
Lovingit
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 94
Lovingit....just the fact that you're here and sharing says something about your attitude to recovery, (namely that you're still thinking about it) and we haven't given up on you either.
Lushly your line about the words 'i dont drink' echoing off a canyon wall...haha..it is like that! It's ominous but a revelation at the same time....weird.. Thank you for your kind words about relationships. I'm facing my 6 month mark this weekend at the same time as hopefully facing some of my fears around honesty in relationships... Just being true to myself and others and trusting in the outcome... it's hard not to have a sense of entitlement ha... I've been good therefore I deserve such and such.... But life isn't like that!
Coolfitz have a great time away .. It sounds beautiful!
Have a nice weekend dee and concor, camedown..sugarbear ..
Lushly your line about the words 'i dont drink' echoing off a canyon wall...haha..it is like that! It's ominous but a revelation at the same time....weird.. Thank you for your kind words about relationships. I'm facing my 6 month mark this weekend at the same time as hopefully facing some of my fears around honesty in relationships... Just being true to myself and others and trusting in the outcome... it's hard not to have a sense of entitlement ha... I've been good therefore I deserve such and such.... But life isn't like that!
Coolfitz have a great time away .. It sounds beautiful!
Have a nice weekend dee and concor, camedown..sugarbear ..
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Mountains of W.N.C.
Posts: 198
Evening all, hope you're well!
A welcome end to another long week and looking forward to relaxing over the weekend.
Not much notable going on other than another dream where I was drinking, this time however was so amazingly vivid that I actually woke bracing for the hangover. Odd to say the least, especially considering that the drama in my life has been practically nonexistent and the exgf has even become somewhat muted lately.
Hope a everyone has a wonderful weekend!
A welcome end to another long week and looking forward to relaxing over the weekend.
Not much notable going on other than another dream where I was drinking, this time however was so amazingly vivid that I actually woke bracing for the hangover. Odd to say the least, especially considering that the drama in my life has been practically nonexistent and the exgf has even become somewhat muted lately.
Hope a everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Hi guys, I'm back. Had a great time at Lake Tahoe, beautiful cabin, fireplace, etc. We even talked recovery, AA and so on as she has 7 years. It was very mycool, I'm pretty blessed. Hope you all had a great weekend.
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