Symmetry

My husband knows about SR. But I always feel silly. Like, what if he reads my posts? Oh well, he knows how valuable this is to me. I'm just paranoid but still a little embarrassed. What if I left SR open at work? Oh well. I'm proud to be in recovery. I think I'm gonna go read the post that spawned this one I just had to respond though. I'm super secretive while browsing SR. I just enjoy it so much and I can't share it it so maybe it's guilt? Idk. I love it!!!

ViciousCycle

I find myself closing the SR window before my boyfriend walks in the room.......I always have some other window at the ready. I guess I feel it is my business and it's my safe place to speak my mind? I think I also feel protective of others posts.......I dunno.

Long busy day, see ya tomorrow....

VC

Marria

Thanks for all the advice re exercise. Walking is a good idea and I think fitting it into my day at a certain time would help alot. Anytime I've read about exercise here it seems like it can be an important part of sobriety. Clearing my head by getting out for a walk sounds so appealing cos I often turn the same thoughts round and round in my head, especially at night.

BD2T, I love your description of meditation, dinner, dessert and guilty-pleasure tv instead of alcohol!

VC on the topic of being secretive about SR I think closing the window and having another window ready is such a simple solution, thanks. And so obvious too instead of closing it and acting all weird as I do when the kids come into the room!

I hope anyone who slipped is right back on track, has let it go and is feeling good about themselves.

Dee74

I always close the window if someone comes into the room - other than my partner - she'd never look over my shoulder anyway...we both hate that.

it's not about embarrassment or anything - like VC was getting at, I feel like I'm talking with you guys - it just seems polite and right to safeguard that

D

ElvisInASkirt

That's the thing though R4R.

We're not powerless over alcohol.

We can just choose not to drink.

It's drinking alcohol that makes us feel powerless.

Really4Real

Elvis.... put that way, I agree... not quite what I meant though. I meant if I start drinking I'm powerless - because I lose it and can't stop... so I can't drink. All good though.

Sarah -- Good luck on the 5k this weekend! I'm going to get out and try to do 15 miles (run/walk) just to see what my time will be. I'm thinking extra slow

Have a good day, Julians!

Dee74

People have a great deal of differying opinions about powerlessness...

I'm not an AAer so I'm happy just knowing me and alcohol do not mix, and that when I had it in my life it controlled me...

I do not wish to live like that anymore...the solution is obvious

Night all
D

rae123

good morning julians!!

i hope everyone is doing well this morning

well here i am at day 26. i really can't believe i have made it this far. it's crazy that 20 days ago i was waking up feeling so bad & still doing the same thing to myself the same day.

i will say that i think that the one thing that has helped me do this is exercising.

@ maria, i never exercised before getting sober. i had no motivation to do anything like that. when i started to get off my butt it was to go for a walk, then those walks turned into sit ups & squats, which in turn morphed into joining the ymca & taking group classes there. i have traded my days & evenings of drinking into exercising, a lot better if you ask me the hardest part was to just start, but once i did i can't stop. my husband is amazed at how much i am doing (i seriously never got up to do anything physical). just take it one day at a time, sound familiar

i hope everyone has an amazing day & we can all stay sober, just for today

ElvisInASkirt

I'm the same. But I never drank for the taste, just for the effect. So I tried getting through the first 2 drinks as quickly as possible. Which sometimes led to 20.

Edwardm

Good morning All. Day 16 here.

Wow, alot of folks are getting in shape and working out. That's great, keep it up.

I also keep the SR widow closed. Coming to this site was an act of reaching out for help, and in doing so, I've opened up and put my cards on the table. I'm not ready to share this with others who may not understand what I'm going through. You guys understand.

Dee also makes a great point. I was concerned about my privacy, I was never thinking about anyone elses. I'm not being selfish, I just never thought about it. You guys put alot on the table, I'm not going to let anyone come in and read it. It's none of their business.

ilikegypsypunk

Another thing to consider for everyone (myself included) who prefers to keep SR a private issue..
In Private browsing. I browse privately everytime, not just on this, but pretty much on everything. Computers store information about the sites you visit and share it with other sites. It pisses me off. If you google "running shoes" one day, you're likely to start seeing ads for running shoes. Its possible that by logging on to here, recovery center ads will start popping up. Big Brother Bullsh.t
My husband doesn't know I'm on here. I'm not really hiding it, I just get on when he's not here. I feel like telling him will make it seem like I'm having a hard time. I just like coming on here and seeing that people feel the same way I do. It's healthier than Facebook

ceneri

Same here with husband. He's given me grief before for time I spend online, he hates me on FB. Led to nasty arguments and trust issues. He got used to it or gave up, I don't know. I value individual privacy& don't think we have to share every little thing. I know he doesn't tell me everything. Told him before, having a sober conversation is like playing 20 questions. Now, with him drinking& me not, there's not much conversing in the evening. I could talk on & on all by myself after a few drinks.

Ed- such a guy! You had to be asked to share your story. Glad you did. Thanks.

Everyone! We are rocking it!!
Come on week-end...

I will not drink today!

ViciousCycle

Morning everyone!

Just rolling out of the hay........guess my first thing in the day is to check in here........after coffee of course.

Rae, you are quickly approaching 30 days! Yay!

Cypress, still thinking about you and I hope you are finding strength.....please come back as soon as you are ready! I miss your goofy songs!

Everyone else, have a strong day and tell the beast NO or we will send it over to Elvis's place. He will use his "baseball bat" on it. lol...........

Change up that routine today........today YOU win.

EmmaPoe

Good morning everyone (even though it's almost 11 am)<

I made it to day 7! Woot! The last time I overdid it was a week ago and I am glad to be away from that person. I know it's only been a week, but I really feel better about myself. It's still such a pleasure to wake up and feel clear-headed.

I keep this site private too, my husband would be very supportive, but I suppose for me it is kind of like a meeting of sorts. And I don't think he cares as long as I'm not drinking.

I have a friend and her child coming to stay with us for the next four days. It is a friend who has worried about my drinking in the past. It will be nice to have her here and not worry about how I'm going to sneak in a drink.

What I show her is who I am. That feels good.

Ellen36 are you here today?

Really4Real

Yeah....
I'm not an AA'er either... all I know is when I start thinking about it and don't do anything about thinking about it.... it will drag me down even before I take that first drink.
There's a point with me that I just know I'm a goner even before I take the first drink.... there's a point in the thoughts that - it I don't catch it there - I'm toast. That's the powerlessness for me. Do I have choices, yep... if I was rational at that point, but I'm not rational at that point at all. At that point, the anxiety rises up and it doesn't even enter my mind to call a friend or ask God for help or anything like that. The desire has taken over. There's nothing I can do at that point - that's powerlessness.
Not to get all religious or anything, but this rings true for me.... our of James "each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."

I'm up for killing the desire so I won't want to turn back to it For Good!!

Hey JP --- I do the InPrivate Browsing also..... it helps cut down on the cookies and milk... I mean temp files I think I'm hungry...


VC -

Symmetry

Hey guys, I am past 2 weeks now. The first week was hard. I was curled up in a ball physically and emotionally. I had to try so hard to get through the daily motions of being a present mother and wife. This is my struggle and just because I was having a hard time I knew that did not mean my family had to suffer with me. When I had a craving I would come here to SR. If I needed time alone I would take what I could.

My husband is almost 2 weeks w/o smoking pot, cigarettes or drinking coffee. He quit all 3 cold turkey. He's been doing all 3 for 20 years with hardly a break. He's had his moments but has yet to give in. If he does, it will break my heart. My kids are all rooting for him and have all recognized that the amount and quality of family time has greatly improved. They believe this is due to his just quitting ciagarettes...:rotfxko

5 days in I started doing yoga, chanting and mediation. This is what I do instead. I have found joy and freedom in sobriety. I am no longer struggling. For me, I feel like it's mind over matter. I am simply at peace. I am not bothered by alcohol ads or watching people drink. Drinking is not something I do. I am not a drinker.

When I've shared before that I was quitting coffee on top of alcohol, Ellen36 suggested that may be too much and to please not do too much at once. (Ellen, sorry if I'm mis-quoting but I do not know how to insert in the middle of this post) What is interesting to me is that after she says this, she slipped, I think, the very next day. She was worried for herself, not for me. All of the members here who say they have recovered, I believe them because I believe in myself. There's hope in believing. I believe that I am recovered and sober because I am proof of that to myself. The people and practices in my life are mirrors of this proof.

dickensen

Hi everyone. I am currently 25 days off the booze after many years of daily drinking. I have read all of your posts. They have provided much appreciated support and guidance. Last year I quit smoking. It took a while to replace smoking habits with other habits whereas the norm became not smoking. I imagine it will also take a long time to do the same with drinking whereas the norm will be not drinking. In my drinking days, I used to make plans around when I would drink. The bad habits of drinking controlled my life and I can not count the number of waking hours I lost to inebriated slumber. For the immediate future I plan to take one day at a time and as VC says hang in there with little steps on the road to recovery. Hopefully, with every passing sober day, the new way of life will be more of the norm, and eventually become the norm.

Thanks to all for your inspiration, and wishing all Julians success in slaying the demon.

ElvisInASkirt

I see NASA have found something on Mars.

I hope it's my liver.

ceneri

somatization or somatizing

I cannot believe I've never encountered this word before today. It was in my horoscope& yes, I do suffer from it. Do you?

Really4Real

Liver on Mars... funny, Elvis!

Uhhhhh. makes my head hurt thinking about it ceneri