Class of June 2011 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: BoulderCo
Posts: 111
Putting this here because I know you guys better, and this is really whiny. I'm in a weird place tonight. Super low self esteem, thinking everything is wrong with me, that I'll never be able to do anything right and that everyone does and should hate me. You know the normal I hate myself stuff. I know this is bad because when I'm in the head space I really want to snort some adderall and then get drunk. Because that combo made this all go away.
But I just took a shower and I'm trying to watch a K-Horror movie and try to go to bed early. Hopefully I'll feel better about myself in the morning.
But I just took a shower and I'm trying to watch a K-Horror movie and try to go to bed early. Hopefully I'll feel better about myself in the morning.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
Morning All,
06.57 here in the UK. Prevail, welcome, keep reading and posting here. Post anything you want. This is an amazing group who all want one thing, sobriety. I am on Day 11 sober now and I can not describe how my life has changed. I have, since I first went to AA meetings, considered myself a lucky alcoholic. When I am sober, my life improves quickly and significantly. I still have difficult, very difficult moments, but I now believe I can get through them with the help of my higher power and the guidance of friends on here.
Prevail, that brings me to this:
'All my 'friends' around the neighborhood are users and disappeared as soon as I got sober.'
You have new friends now. Friends that want you sober, will help you, stay with you and listen to you because they know it is the best thing for you and your girls!
bbblackbirdfly, keep sober and you will get there. Your husband will make his own choices in life. Your choice is to remain sober and live your life on your terms. I once heard a Buddhist Monk say that we choose to let crap come into our lives. We can let it go over your head. Why bother with it? Life is too short? Now, I don't know if that is easy to do or not. I tell myself it a lot. For me it seems to work. Each and every day you are getting stronger and stronger and we are here for you.
Sweetnovember, I think you are persuading me that I need to get back over to the US and visit. I love football and would love to see the Cowboys play (I picked them out of a hat when I was 4 when football first got shown in Britain). I would also love to travel and just soak up the country. I was 17 when I visited there for two weeks with my mum. I had a superb time. That was in August, in September I began going to the pub with friends. It is as if that holiday was the last act of my childhood. Childhood is an amazing thing. I was very lucky with mine. I feel like that the little boy I was has been suppressed by alcohol and he is coming back each day.
Beulah, your posts, little and large, are quite something. Thanks.
Classical, many thanks for your support with the pledge. I am going to pledge something that I never have before, to you and to this post. I will never drink alcohol again. There, it is public. I expect to be battered with that every time I am weak and alco-gollum is playing his game!
Now, there is a childhood memory, reading The Hobbit for the first time. I love books. My problem is that I block myself from writing anything on my History research. But, I have created a blog and I am just going to write and get it out. I love reading historical documents on any and every subject. Then I love talking about them. Anyway, I digress!
Bee, I would think that a minority of animals are chipped here. I haven't seen her this morning. She'll turn up though!
Tippingpoint, good to hear you are well. Sobriety is so much better than drinking for me!
Cherry, I pray that you got through the night ok. I believe you have. One thing you have got right is being on here!
So, Day 11 begins, it is going to be a great day. I can feel it!
Chimp!
06.57 here in the UK. Prevail, welcome, keep reading and posting here. Post anything you want. This is an amazing group who all want one thing, sobriety. I am on Day 11 sober now and I can not describe how my life has changed. I have, since I first went to AA meetings, considered myself a lucky alcoholic. When I am sober, my life improves quickly and significantly. I still have difficult, very difficult moments, but I now believe I can get through them with the help of my higher power and the guidance of friends on here.
Prevail, that brings me to this:
'All my 'friends' around the neighborhood are users and disappeared as soon as I got sober.'
You have new friends now. Friends that want you sober, will help you, stay with you and listen to you because they know it is the best thing for you and your girls!
bbblackbirdfly, keep sober and you will get there. Your husband will make his own choices in life. Your choice is to remain sober and live your life on your terms. I once heard a Buddhist Monk say that we choose to let crap come into our lives. We can let it go over your head. Why bother with it? Life is too short? Now, I don't know if that is easy to do or not. I tell myself it a lot. For me it seems to work. Each and every day you are getting stronger and stronger and we are here for you.
Sweetnovember, I think you are persuading me that I need to get back over to the US and visit. I love football and would love to see the Cowboys play (I picked them out of a hat when I was 4 when football first got shown in Britain). I would also love to travel and just soak up the country. I was 17 when I visited there for two weeks with my mum. I had a superb time. That was in August, in September I began going to the pub with friends. It is as if that holiday was the last act of my childhood. Childhood is an amazing thing. I was very lucky with mine. I feel like that the little boy I was has been suppressed by alcohol and he is coming back each day.
Beulah, your posts, little and large, are quite something. Thanks.
Classical, many thanks for your support with the pledge. I am going to pledge something that I never have before, to you and to this post. I will never drink alcohol again. There, it is public. I expect to be battered with that every time I am weak and alco-gollum is playing his game!
Now, there is a childhood memory, reading The Hobbit for the first time. I love books. My problem is that I block myself from writing anything on my History research. But, I have created a blog and I am just going to write and get it out. I love reading historical documents on any and every subject. Then I love talking about them. Anyway, I digress!
Bee, I would think that a minority of animals are chipped here. I haven't seen her this morning. She'll turn up though!
Tippingpoint, good to hear you are well. Sobriety is so much better than drinking for me!
Cherry, I pray that you got through the night ok. I believe you have. One thing you have got right is being on here!
So, Day 11 begins, it is going to be a great day. I can feel it!
Chimp!
Love, Light & Peace
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 50
Classical, I did the pledge! Made it through the whole long weekend.
But on a sadder note, I had two beers last night. (cringe) I was super lonely and my roommate invited me out with her friends and I wasn't strong enough to order water or soda. The Hefeweizen looked so yummy...
The good news is that this morning I feel HORRIBLE. Not so much mentally (I actually had a nice time last night...double cringe) but physically. I've never had a hangover from just two drinks! I almost threw up this morning...wtf!? It is obvious to me that my body is telling me NO! BAD!
So my resolve wavered last night but boy is it strengthened now. In a way I am glad I went through this little "test" since I've learned a lot from it already. I'm sure in the next few days I'll come to even more realizations.
Anyway, I hope all are well, and that we all have strong, healthy, sober Wednesdays!
But on a sadder note, I had two beers last night. (cringe) I was super lonely and my roommate invited me out with her friends and I wasn't strong enough to order water or soda. The Hefeweizen looked so yummy...
The good news is that this morning I feel HORRIBLE. Not so much mentally (I actually had a nice time last night...double cringe) but physically. I've never had a hangover from just two drinks! I almost threw up this morning...wtf!? It is obvious to me that my body is telling me NO! BAD!
So my resolve wavered last night but boy is it strengthened now. In a way I am glad I went through this little "test" since I've learned a lot from it already. I'm sure in the next few days I'll come to even more realizations.
Anyway, I hope all are well, and that we all have strong, healthy, sober Wednesdays!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Most Isolated City in the World
Posts: 108
Evening all Im just on my way to a meeting so thought I would leave some thoughts before I go.I attended a meeting this morning an it was about step 7 "Humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings".
This step stuff is hard, "What shortcomings?" is what I wanted to say, because to admit that I have shortcomings means being totally frank and honest with the hardest person possible-Myself.
We can all go off an have a drink and no one would know on SR, but lying to yourself is not a good thing and sooner or later we have to face our defects of character whether we like it or not.
Instant-I should have clarified about Alchys thinking they are superior, thats only 50% of the time the other 50 is we hate ourselves. (gotta laugh)
I keep hearing this same thing over and over as I go to the meetings and meet others who are recovering.
To everyone all the best and good luck. Today is my 12th day an I have been on my own this whole time as my husband works away. I hope Im strong when he comes home as there will be a lot of triggers but at least I am aware of them now.
Ciao
This step stuff is hard, "What shortcomings?" is what I wanted to say, because to admit that I have shortcomings means being totally frank and honest with the hardest person possible-Myself.
We can all go off an have a drink and no one would know on SR, but lying to yourself is not a good thing and sooner or later we have to face our defects of character whether we like it or not.
Instant-I should have clarified about Alchys thinking they are superior, thats only 50% of the time the other 50 is we hate ourselves. (gotta laugh)
I keep hearing this same thing over and over as I go to the meetings and meet others who are recovering.
To everyone all the best and good luck. Today is my 12th day an I have been on my own this whole time as my husband works away. I hope Im strong when he comes home as there will be a lot of triggers but at least I am aware of them now.
Ciao
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: MI
Posts: 720
Lucky 13
Good Morning every one!
What wonderful posts from our friends overseas last night. And for those nighthawks/early birds here in the states, as well.
You all make me smile. We are all so human. And we have to remember that. We are not perfect. We make mistakes. The key is learning from them. Remember how I told you I've been divorced once and my husband twice. We know we are wrong at times in our relationship and we know we we were wrong in those. It was up to us to recognize what we did and what we have to do to not do it again. Even with our alcohol addictions - we have to learn from our mistake of taking that route. What can you do to improve that part of us? As we've all been discussing, the triggers, and what are they...how will we handle them sober? It appears we are all taking a good hard look at ourselves as much as possible. Some may have more to look at than others, but pick away. Rome wasn't built in a day.
So, on to all my angels.
Raquell - day 12. Hooray! It's funny, my hubby and I have always had a good relationship (sober it's better), but he was a trigger, too. I knew when he got home he'd start drinking beer, so I'd start before him. What the heck was that about?
Layladylay - The honesty that is coming from this site is amazing - and you just proved it (along with Squishy and Cherry as well). That was a gentle fall. But, get back at it, and next time you will handle it differently. We love you here and you have a lot of good to offer us!
Chimp - you got it. I keep saying "true friends" will respect the decision to stop drinking. We have so many people in our lives that have quit, young and old. And we've always respected them for that decision. We never felt that they thought they were better than us now. We always felt it was for the better. In the back of mind, I was kind of jealous of their strength as well, as I wish I could get there. And yes, come to the U.S. The sports are great, the National Parks are wonderful - way too many to visit in a lifetime. Lots of history, which you would appreciate. It's a great country, but then again, it's a great world. Lots of beauty. I've always wanted to come to the UK, Austrailia, Switzerland, - pretty much most of Europe. Alaska is a dream. So, is Hawaii. I hope you can come some day and enjoy what it has to offer. And day 11 - fantastic! Your posts make me smile.
Cherry - hope you made it through the night. Stay strong. We are here for you. Glad you are comfortable to come on this thread and let us know what is going on. I hope you have support you can find in your area as well.
Bee - you have such kind, gentle words for every one.
Classical - thanks for keeping track of the pledge. I think it was a challenge for all. And for those that may have fallen, we still applaud your efforts, and your courage to face a new day.
Blackbird - glad I'm not the only one that loves the snow. (Most people think we are nuts- fortunately I work mostly from home and when I do work outside, I only have 10 miles at the most - hubby drives 2 miles to work). If it's going to be cold, bring on the snow. You can play in it. We love the outdoors in the winter. X-country skiing, snowshoeing, winter camping, winter canoeing (when the river doesn't freeze up -had that hapen before). Plus, the night sky is gorgeous in the winter. For those that don't like winter, be sure to step outside on a clear night and appreciate the sky. It's nothing like you'll ever see. And glad you are not letting your husband set you off to drink. As we all keep saying - we hope your sobriety and positive attitude eventually rubs off on your husband.
And to everyone else - best wishes for another day of being sober. Have a wonderful day.
Be well!
What wonderful posts from our friends overseas last night. And for those nighthawks/early birds here in the states, as well.
You all make me smile. We are all so human. And we have to remember that. We are not perfect. We make mistakes. The key is learning from them. Remember how I told you I've been divorced once and my husband twice. We know we are wrong at times in our relationship and we know we we were wrong in those. It was up to us to recognize what we did and what we have to do to not do it again. Even with our alcohol addictions - we have to learn from our mistake of taking that route. What can you do to improve that part of us? As we've all been discussing, the triggers, and what are they...how will we handle them sober? It appears we are all taking a good hard look at ourselves as much as possible. Some may have more to look at than others, but pick away. Rome wasn't built in a day.
So, on to all my angels.
Raquell - day 12. Hooray! It's funny, my hubby and I have always had a good relationship (sober it's better), but he was a trigger, too. I knew when he got home he'd start drinking beer, so I'd start before him. What the heck was that about?
Layladylay - The honesty that is coming from this site is amazing - and you just proved it (along with Squishy and Cherry as well). That was a gentle fall. But, get back at it, and next time you will handle it differently. We love you here and you have a lot of good to offer us!
Chimp - you got it. I keep saying "true friends" will respect the decision to stop drinking. We have so many people in our lives that have quit, young and old. And we've always respected them for that decision. We never felt that they thought they were better than us now. We always felt it was for the better. In the back of mind, I was kind of jealous of their strength as well, as I wish I could get there. And yes, come to the U.S. The sports are great, the National Parks are wonderful - way too many to visit in a lifetime. Lots of history, which you would appreciate. It's a great country, but then again, it's a great world. Lots of beauty. I've always wanted to come to the UK, Austrailia, Switzerland, - pretty much most of Europe. Alaska is a dream. So, is Hawaii. I hope you can come some day and enjoy what it has to offer. And day 11 - fantastic! Your posts make me smile.
Cherry - hope you made it through the night. Stay strong. We are here for you. Glad you are comfortable to come on this thread and let us know what is going on. I hope you have support you can find in your area as well.
Bee - you have such kind, gentle words for every one.
Classical - thanks for keeping track of the pledge. I think it was a challenge for all. And for those that may have fallen, we still applaud your efforts, and your courage to face a new day.
Blackbird - glad I'm not the only one that loves the snow. (Most people think we are nuts- fortunately I work mostly from home and when I do work outside, I only have 10 miles at the most - hubby drives 2 miles to work). If it's going to be cold, bring on the snow. You can play in it. We love the outdoors in the winter. X-country skiing, snowshoeing, winter camping, winter canoeing (when the river doesn't freeze up -had that hapen before). Plus, the night sky is gorgeous in the winter. For those that don't like winter, be sure to step outside on a clear night and appreciate the sky. It's nothing like you'll ever see. And glad you are not letting your husband set you off to drink. As we all keep saying - we hope your sobriety and positive attitude eventually rubs off on your husband.
And to everyone else - best wishes for another day of being sober. Have a wonderful day.
Be well!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Good morning. I'm squinty eyed and sober. day 9. wow.
thanks to all for the positive feedback. My thoughts are often way different than my actions, so please know that even though I thought about lying to you I never, ever, would.
Cherry - I hope you made it through the night as well. too bad my bf isn't eric northman. I'm sure he could keep me busy and away from alcohol at night! Might sound selfish but its comforting to know that I'm not the only one struggling with my own thoughts. Good thing we are here for each other huh?
Chimp - I appreciate your comment about the monk. I am quick to forget that when I cannot change something, I can at least change the way I think about it. That's something I'm working on....
lay lady lay- You still rock. Keep at it.
Classical- you bring the lols, oh and super exciting about the e-book! you will have to keep us posted: i have always wanted to write a book, but always feel so scatter brained!
happy wednesday peeps.
thanks to all for the positive feedback. My thoughts are often way different than my actions, so please know that even though I thought about lying to you I never, ever, would.
Cherry - I hope you made it through the night as well. too bad my bf isn't eric northman. I'm sure he could keep me busy and away from alcohol at night! Might sound selfish but its comforting to know that I'm not the only one struggling with my own thoughts. Good thing we are here for each other huh?
Chimp - I appreciate your comment about the monk. I am quick to forget that when I cannot change something, I can at least change the way I think about it. That's something I'm working on....
lay lady lay- You still rock. Keep at it.
Classical- you bring the lols, oh and super exciting about the e-book! you will have to keep us posted: i have always wanted to write a book, but always feel so scatter brained!
happy wednesday peeps.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
Lunchtime, 13.39!
Well, I am now Director of my own company. It is official from today! What a chuckle? How did that happen? I am so pleased!
I love reading all your posts. It is something I look forward to first thing, lunch and in the evening.
Raquell, I think you are very strong doing this when loneliness could come at any time. Loneliness is a key trigger for me. I have spent the last 2 1/2 days on my own, except texting, calls and all you guys and I have enjoyed it. It has been incredibly productive but I know that I could drink anytime. But, I made that pledge Classical and I will stick to it.
Classical, it will be a pleasure to read your book. I have often wanted to read a biography of Tchaikovsky. His music has been with me since I was little. I love watching Ballet. There is something very powerful about (19 Russia. War and Peace is my favourite book. The only book to make me cry! I know that I will be spending a lot of time in Eastern Europe in the years to come. I have a dream of driving to Moscow. I know it will happen. This Sunday I am off to Poland and Auschwitz-Birkenau. I have meetings whilst there but I have no idea how I will react once at the camps. Later this year, I plan to go further into Poland, on a personal visit (this week is personal/business) to Sobibor, Treblinka and Belzec Extermination Camps. This is what I do. I read about places and I want to go there. Then I like to share it with others. That is now my job! :-)
Sorry, I do go on about History. It is me I suppose. Over the past few years I became more and more interested in storytelling. I am a storyteller. I want to study the art more and more but a lot comes from the heart. I love History, I love the stories of those that have lived before and alcohol took me away from it for many, many years. That pledge Classical, I mean. I will be here each and every day or I will have told you where I am because I know, unless I am in the middle of nowhere suddenly, that not being on here means I am drinking!
Let us all stay sober for today. Keep away from the first drink and be happy!
Chimp!
Well, I am now Director of my own company. It is official from today! What a chuckle? How did that happen? I am so pleased!
I love reading all your posts. It is something I look forward to first thing, lunch and in the evening.
Raquell, I think you are very strong doing this when loneliness could come at any time. Loneliness is a key trigger for me. I have spent the last 2 1/2 days on my own, except texting, calls and all you guys and I have enjoyed it. It has been incredibly productive but I know that I could drink anytime. But, I made that pledge Classical and I will stick to it.
Classical, it will be a pleasure to read your book. I have often wanted to read a biography of Tchaikovsky. His music has been with me since I was little. I love watching Ballet. There is something very powerful about (19 Russia. War and Peace is my favourite book. The only book to make me cry! I know that I will be spending a lot of time in Eastern Europe in the years to come. I have a dream of driving to Moscow. I know it will happen. This Sunday I am off to Poland and Auschwitz-Birkenau. I have meetings whilst there but I have no idea how I will react once at the camps. Later this year, I plan to go further into Poland, on a personal visit (this week is personal/business) to Sobibor, Treblinka and Belzec Extermination Camps. This is what I do. I read about places and I want to go there. Then I like to share it with others. That is now my job! :-)
Sorry, I do go on about History. It is me I suppose. Over the past few years I became more and more interested in storytelling. I am a storyteller. I want to study the art more and more but a lot comes from the heart. I love History, I love the stories of those that have lived before and alcohol took me away from it for many, many years. That pledge Classical, I mean. I will be here each and every day or I will have told you where I am because I know, unless I am in the middle of nowhere suddenly, that not being on here means I am drinking!
Let us all stay sober for today. Keep away from the first drink and be happy!
Chimp!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 38
Hello everyone. Glad things are going well for the group. I'm mostly lurking and trying to keep up on the posts, I can't. I am into day 17 and all is well. I have given up on all the pills and just take multi vitamins now.
Have had a little life moment to deal with. We have an old female dog. Got her at the SPCA so no idea how old but I'm guessing 12 yr+. We have had her about 6 years and she is much loved. She is a small German Shephard cross breed. She has been having a health issue in addition to bad joints, restricted movement. She has something like a yeast infection in her privates. I had asked the wife to clean her daily as it smells bad and the Mrs. thought vinigar and water would clear it up. Well the Mrs didn't do the cleaning half the time and the dog started to stink. The dog sleeps with me and smells bad, than she basically pee'd the bed. I had two bad nights due to the smell, bit warm in the room for the dog and the dog likes to sleep on top of me. The wetting the bed and the bad smell put me over the edge a little. Lots of thoughts like the Mrs. is lazy etc. It is dumb and sounds like wineing but this is the way it was. The Mrs. didn't want to take the dog to the vet. Well the outcome is I am taking a pee sample to the vet. for testing, the dog slept in the basement last night were it is coolest and I had a great nights sleep. So things are more or less back to normal. Added bonus is the Mrs. is going on another holiday to see her mother so I get a 10 day holiday away from her. We all have a reason to drink or why we drink!
Car show starts tomorrow. Could be up to 2000 cars in it. My car is clean and ready for the show. Looking forward to it. It is the biggest show in our country and the main prize is a 1932 Ford Hot Rod worth around $100,000. I have a 1 in 1500 chance to win the car so this isn't too bad odds. Better than the lottery at any rate. The guy at the end of my street won the car last year. I stopped in to see him the other night.
Keep strong everyone! I'm glad your (we are) all there for each other.
LTJimmie
Have had a little life moment to deal with. We have an old female dog. Got her at the SPCA so no idea how old but I'm guessing 12 yr+. We have had her about 6 years and she is much loved. She is a small German Shephard cross breed. She has been having a health issue in addition to bad joints, restricted movement. She has something like a yeast infection in her privates. I had asked the wife to clean her daily as it smells bad and the Mrs. thought vinigar and water would clear it up. Well the Mrs didn't do the cleaning half the time and the dog started to stink. The dog sleeps with me and smells bad, than she basically pee'd the bed. I had two bad nights due to the smell, bit warm in the room for the dog and the dog likes to sleep on top of me. The wetting the bed and the bad smell put me over the edge a little. Lots of thoughts like the Mrs. is lazy etc. It is dumb and sounds like wineing but this is the way it was. The Mrs. didn't want to take the dog to the vet. Well the outcome is I am taking a pee sample to the vet. for testing, the dog slept in the basement last night were it is coolest and I had a great nights sleep. So things are more or less back to normal. Added bonus is the Mrs. is going on another holiday to see her mother so I get a 10 day holiday away from her. We all have a reason to drink or why we drink!
Car show starts tomorrow. Could be up to 2000 cars in it. My car is clean and ready for the show. Looking forward to it. It is the biggest show in our country and the main prize is a 1932 Ford Hot Rod worth around $100,000. I have a 1 in 1500 chance to win the car so this isn't too bad odds. Better than the lottery at any rate. The guy at the end of my street won the car last year. I stopped in to see him the other night.
Keep strong everyone! I'm glad your (we are) all there for each other.
LTJimmie
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
I quit drinking on June 13th. That weekend I had been on a work trip and had gotten seriously out of hand on the Saturday night in front of colleagues and higher ups in the company. As bad as it was I was lucky enough avoid having anyone see me at my worst that evening. Even still, I was embarrassed and ashamed enough to come home with a commitment to quit drinking.
Last night at my company dinner my boss was there. He wasn't on the trip of the previous month but he made a comment to me that made it clear that he'd heard about my antics. Now, he said it in a joking way and I'm almost certain that he didn't mean much by it. More just poking fun in a way that guys do.
All the same, hearing him say it brought back all those feelings again. Made me feel sick to my stomach. Anxiety began to rise up in me. I wanted to leave. I wanted to drink.
Instead I went to the washroom and tried to regroup. I tried to focus on the present...take some joy in my sobriety. Focus on the fact that I could not change the past or the future but only the present and then I went back upstairs and got a seat right across from my boss and did my very best to be confident, comfortable, smart, witty and funny for the rest of the evening. I made serious eye contact and listened intently to all around me...giving them all my full attention while sipping Perrier.
I made it through the evening and felt okay about how I managed to pull it together. I also got a very good reminder as to why I'm on day 24 of sobriety and why this is important for me. I don't want to be "that guy" anymore.
Thanks for all your support.
Last night at my company dinner my boss was there. He wasn't on the trip of the previous month but he made a comment to me that made it clear that he'd heard about my antics. Now, he said it in a joking way and I'm almost certain that he didn't mean much by it. More just poking fun in a way that guys do.
All the same, hearing him say it brought back all those feelings again. Made me feel sick to my stomach. Anxiety began to rise up in me. I wanted to leave. I wanted to drink.
Instead I went to the washroom and tried to regroup. I tried to focus on the present...take some joy in my sobriety. Focus on the fact that I could not change the past or the future but only the present and then I went back upstairs and got a seat right across from my boss and did my very best to be confident, comfortable, smart, witty and funny for the rest of the evening. I made serious eye contact and listened intently to all around me...giving them all my full attention while sipping Perrier.
I made it through the evening and felt okay about how I managed to pull it together. I also got a very good reminder as to why I'm on day 24 of sobriety and why this is important for me. I don't want to be "that guy" anymore.
Thanks for all your support.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 513
Good morning everyone! Holy mackarel! I'm not on for half a day and I can't even catch up! Day 2 (again thank you for keeping this pour soul) and I'm feeling much better. I posted my story of last night on the other thread of mine that I have. I had quite the test last night and passed. (of course looking at alcohol I would have puked last night)
I will catch up today on all your posts - I'm so glad to still see you all here.
I will catch up today on all your posts - I'm so glad to still see you all here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Waynesville, Ohio
Posts: 61
Morning classmates! DAY 10 today!!! Still no withdrawl symptoms and don't think they are coming...SO I am going to quit expecting them and move on!
The only issue I had yesterday...first day without hubby home....was the loneliness. I didn't realize that that was when I would drink to escape it. It is AMAZING what you can see being sober!!! I really didn't crave UNTIL my Son left for work...then complete silence. I panicked...took a deep breathe... panicked some more...then went outside for some air. Ended up weeding a little. Felt better, but still a bit weird. I really tried hard to do something...read, watch Ellen Degeneres, start to bake cupcakes...but COULD NOT focus to save my life! I wasn't craving or wanting to drink, just couldn't focus. Has anyone else experienced this feeling early on? I only started to really feel better once everyone started to come home. Then I was gung-ho into making dinner and my banana pudding! Went to bed somewhat early and woke up feeling great! Now, as I watch my son getting ready for work, the panic is starting to creep in again. Any ideas guys? I don't have a car nor can I walk much due to a bone spur. It's not that I am afraid I will crave cause I DON'T DRINK, it's just combating the loneliness.
Thanks for any advise,class! Love you guys!!!
Also...to Kelly...I NEVER GOT MY CHOCOLATE!!!!!
Hugs,
Missducky
The only issue I had yesterday...first day without hubby home....was the loneliness. I didn't realize that that was when I would drink to escape it. It is AMAZING what you can see being sober!!! I really didn't crave UNTIL my Son left for work...then complete silence. I panicked...took a deep breathe... panicked some more...then went outside for some air. Ended up weeding a little. Felt better, but still a bit weird. I really tried hard to do something...read, watch Ellen Degeneres, start to bake cupcakes...but COULD NOT focus to save my life! I wasn't craving or wanting to drink, just couldn't focus. Has anyone else experienced this feeling early on? I only started to really feel better once everyone started to come home. Then I was gung-ho into making dinner and my banana pudding! Went to bed somewhat early and woke up feeling great! Now, as I watch my son getting ready for work, the panic is starting to creep in again. Any ideas guys? I don't have a car nor can I walk much due to a bone spur. It's not that I am afraid I will crave cause I DON'T DRINK, it's just combating the loneliness.
Thanks for any advise,class! Love you guys!!!
Also...to Kelly...I NEVER GOT MY CHOCOLATE!!!!!
Hugs,
Missducky
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
Hi everyone!! I'm so sorry I wish I could stay caught up on all the posting going on.....but between working two jobs and family I can't dedicate much. But I will continue posting when I can and lurking in the background! Bwahaha!!
So today I am thankful to be given Day #40 and to have enough sense to keep coming here when I can. Wow, can't believe a part III already! I hope everyone is finding success today and remember: people, places, & things.
So today I am thankful to be given Day #40 and to have enough sense to keep coming here when I can. Wow, can't believe a part III already! I hope everyone is finding success today and remember: people, places, & things.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 513
Alright Classical and Chimp - I had to read War and Peace for a class in school and I completed that in 48 painful hours. You guys are amazing and crazy! I thought that would be a fabulous since I'm 3/4 Russian - HA. I have to say I have blocked out that 48 hours, but I did get an A on my exam. :-)
Chimp what an awesome opportunity to now do what you have always wanted to do! Congrats!
Buelah - lucky 13! That number is fabulous! You are a dear as always. :-)
CherryD - where are you?!
Prevail - WELCOME - best class on the web. Stay with us!
Chimp what an awesome opportunity to now do what you have always wanted to do! Congrats!
Buelah - lucky 13! That number is fabulous! You are a dear as always. :-)
CherryD - where are you?!
Prevail - WELCOME - best class on the web. Stay with us!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: BoulderCo
Posts: 111
Squishy you're a lot better than I am at waking up. It's 8:45 and I'm still sleepy and too lazy to do anything other than sit on the couch. I needed redbull like an hour ago.
I made it ok last night. I didn't sleep that well I kept waking up being really anxious.
I made it ok last night. I didn't sleep that well I kept waking up being really anxious.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 513
But Cherry - you missed the most important part - we are sober for another day! Shake off the sleepies and keep moving! I used to hate mornings (because usually I was on drugs seeing them from the other end!) until I had two kids back to back, then I didn't have a choice. Now we just have to stay sober - that's it! Just make it one more hour, one more day. Get out and do something today, walk? garden? read? Grab that Iced T and go! I'm so glad to see you are here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
MissDucky, I think that is an incredibly honest post. Loneliness and the fear of nothingness (if that makes sense) is one of the primary reasons I drank. The notion that I could last a day on my own was ridiculous. I needed to entertain myself and I did that by going into town and going from pub to pub getting drunk. It was the only way to pass the time.
What a waste of time. I have known since I was 18 that I needed to keep my mind busy. I have to live my life, live my work. I wear my heart on my sleeve. It is the only way I know. Sometimes, that creates quite an intensity. But it is who I am. Who I have to get to know. I need to get to know who I really am and become friends with that person.
I have to say and I am not just saying this, something in me has changed. I have never felt like this before, even in sobriety. It is as if I have arrived, finally am me.
On my last drunk, I smashed the window to get into the house. Even though I was completely wasted, I remember the moment clearly. At that moment, I realised that it was the last stupid thing i'd ever do because of alcohol. I knew I had gone too far. I had reached my low.
Chimp!
What a waste of time. I have known since I was 18 that I needed to keep my mind busy. I have to live my life, live my work. I wear my heart on my sleeve. It is the only way I know. Sometimes, that creates quite an intensity. But it is who I am. Who I have to get to know. I need to get to know who I really am and become friends with that person.
I have to say and I am not just saying this, something in me has changed. I have never felt like this before, even in sobriety. It is as if I have arrived, finally am me.
On my last drunk, I smashed the window to get into the house. Even though I was completely wasted, I remember the moment clearly. At that moment, I realised that it was the last stupid thing i'd ever do because of alcohol. I knew I had gone too far. I had reached my low.
Chimp!
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