Codependency and Beyond Part 20
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Thursday, July 7, 2011
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Getting It All Out
Let yourself have a good gripe session.
From: " Woman, Sex, and Addiction"
—Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.
What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?
We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.
Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.
Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.
Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.
We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.
Today, I will let it all out if I need a release.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Getting It All Out
Let yourself have a good gripe session.
From: " Woman, Sex, and Addiction"
—Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.
What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?
We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.
Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.
Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.
Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.
We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.
Today, I will let it all out if I need a release.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
well my mother continued to cross boundaries i had asked her to observe [albeit accidentally] so i decided not to visit.
fortunately while searching online for someone to talk to about my problems i found a very helpful woman in oz. with her support and encouragement i was able to decide no im not going to visit parents today. if i visit when my boundaries are crossed repeatedly even by accident it doesn't send the best message now does it i would say.
furthermore i got the courage to explain to my father that i still felt afraid of him because of what i described as 'shadows' of previous emotional blackmail [where he used to isolate me in the family try to under mind me make me go paranoid etc if i didnt do what he wanted].
result
thanks everyone
fortunately while searching online for someone to talk to about my problems i found a very helpful woman in oz. with her support and encouragement i was able to decide no im not going to visit parents today. if i visit when my boundaries are crossed repeatedly even by accident it doesn't send the best message now does it i would say.
furthermore i got the courage to explain to my father that i still felt afraid of him because of what i described as 'shadows' of previous emotional blackmail [where he used to isolate me in the family try to under mind me make me go paranoid etc if i didnt do what he wanted].
result
thanks everyone
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Good Morning all!
((Kevin)) From my perspective - It appears you are learning to OWN your decisions and even tho you don't have to - you can provide reasons to your family why their actions make you uncomfortable in a calm manner - Giving yourself and them dignity! How loving for everyone! Oh & by the way - I LOVE Luke Skywalker, and Hans Solo - any Star Wars! I actually went to a Halloween party as Princess Leia in High School!! (yep I'm that old! my 30 yr class reunion is this fall - eeeekkkk)
((Amy)) Hate to hear about your grandmother ~ I pray that you & your Dad are able to go see her soon! G'ma's quilts are the best thing ever!!!
Your smile matches you - beautiful!!!!!!!!
((Lisa)) love the comment on the Dr ~ might as well wish for the best right??
and todays reading was PERFECT! - thanks for posting it ~ i needed to share that with a friend and of course I needed it for me too!
((Chino)) still praying for each of your family & you too!!
Today is a wonderful day to be at the beach relaxing with my hubby, swimming, tanning, and all that other stuff BUT since I am not independently wealthy ~ I guess I'll just dream and hang out at this office and BE very very grateful I have a job!
It's a PINKFUL Day & life is good - regardless!
love & PINK HUGS,
Rita
((Kevin)) From my perspective - It appears you are learning to OWN your decisions and even tho you don't have to - you can provide reasons to your family why their actions make you uncomfortable in a calm manner - Giving yourself and them dignity! How loving for everyone! Oh & by the way - I LOVE Luke Skywalker, and Hans Solo - any Star Wars! I actually went to a Halloween party as Princess Leia in High School!! (yep I'm that old! my 30 yr class reunion is this fall - eeeekkkk)
((Amy)) Hate to hear about your grandmother ~ I pray that you & your Dad are able to go see her soon! G'ma's quilts are the best thing ever!!!
Your smile matches you - beautiful!!!!!!!!
((Lisa)) love the comment on the Dr ~ might as well wish for the best right??
and todays reading was PERFECT! - thanks for posting it ~ i needed to share that with a friend and of course I needed it for me too!
((Chino)) still praying for each of your family & you too!!
Today is a wonderful day to be at the beach relaxing with my hubby, swimming, tanning, and all that other stuff BUT since I am not independently wealthy ~ I guess I'll just dream and hang out at this office and BE very very grateful I have a job!
It's a PINKFUL Day & life is good - regardless!
love & PINK HUGS,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
Good reading sharing without getting your status from being a martyr hm
I feel a little guilty over not seeing family today but yes i do own the decision. I have been clear not to take an inventory for mum and dad. Maybe i can go tomorrow.
Did some more work on myself today.
I feel a little guilty over not seeing family today but yes i do own the decision. I have been clear not to take an inventory for mum and dad. Maybe i can go tomorrow.
Did some more work on myself today.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Thanks, everyone!!
The new dr., I found out, is a female (wasn't sure with the name Loni), so that may actually be a good thing...can talk to her about the hormone stuff and she will GET it, unlike any man can. However, if I find that Melvin is working elsewhere, I will follow him.
Going to pay the car payment, do some stores. Since I refused to work overnights, they now have me coming in later and working until 1 or 2 a.m. Most likely will get stuck back on front counter, depending on the mgr and who else is working, but I'm taking a "whatever" approach to that. I did tell M about C and her attitude, and if I'm working with her, and she acts that way, I will NOT be staying later than what I'm scheduled (which I've been doing for months). Well, they fixed THAT by scheduling me even later...sigh.
It's 85 here, so far, another hot day. Am really praying for rain. We need it and it would cool things down if it rains enough. Yesterday, it rained while I was doing my stores, but just shortly. Got out, realized I'd had my windows cracked a couple inches, but inside my car was dry...the sun is that hot.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
The new dr., I found out, is a female (wasn't sure with the name Loni), so that may actually be a good thing...can talk to her about the hormone stuff and she will GET it, unlike any man can. However, if I find that Melvin is working elsewhere, I will follow him.
Going to pay the car payment, do some stores. Since I refused to work overnights, they now have me coming in later and working until 1 or 2 a.m. Most likely will get stuck back on front counter, depending on the mgr and who else is working, but I'm taking a "whatever" approach to that. I did tell M about C and her attitude, and if I'm working with her, and she acts that way, I will NOT be staying later than what I'm scheduled (which I've been doing for months). Well, they fixed THAT by scheduling me even later...sigh.
It's 85 here, so far, another hot day. Am really praying for rain. We need it and it would cool things down if it rains enough. Yesterday, it rained while I was doing my stores, but just shortly. Got out, realized I'd had my windows cracked a couple inches, but inside my car was dry...the sun is that hot.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Amy, I love your smile, your hair, and especially that you smile with your eyes! Love the waterfall, too, and how lucky to have such a beautiful spot to visit that is nearby. You and the waterfall suit each other 
Today's reading echoes my therapist's advice: give yourself 20 minutes to get it out, then find (re)solutions and be done with it. Personally, I can't go over 10 minutes or it'll take on a life of it's own.
Husband called and is visiting with BFF, said it's a good thing he left sooner than later. His conscious moments are becoming infrequent and he's quickly losing clarity. I told husband it was my volunteer work with the elderly that taught me waiting is never a good idea.
Though I'm not there visiting too, I still wanted to let BFF know that I cared. It took me forever to find the words, but I managed and sent a letter with husband. Names have been removed or replaced:
I know I said the right words and did the right thing, because it hurt like hell and still does 
Today's reading echoes my therapist's advice: give yourself 20 minutes to get it out, then find (re)solutions and be done with it. Personally, I can't go over 10 minutes or it'll take on a life of it's own.
Husband called and is visiting with BFF, said it's a good thing he left sooner than later. His conscious moments are becoming infrequent and he's quickly losing clarity. I told husband it was my volunteer work with the elderly that taught me waiting is never a good idea.
Though I'm not there visiting too, I still wanted to let BFF know that I cared. It took me forever to find the words, but I managed and sent a letter with husband. Names have been removed or replaced:
Hi ___,
I suppose I'm like a lot of people, I'm not real sure what to say right now. So I decided I'd tell you how much you mean to me. Which is a lot.
When I first met you, I saw how good of a person you are, and your family, too. You all were so normal and still are, while still being exceptional. I was raised to appreciate hard working folks, people that worked with their hands and hearts. It showed with everything you did.
Even when you became a Shriner and a clown, you were still working with your hands and heart.
We still have every antique you worked on, every piece of wood, and so does my mom. That reminds me, I have to give son his spinning top you made for him when he was a baby. Oh, and I told my mom the only things I want from her home, when it's her time to go, are the things I've given her. That includes the spring hinged rocker you and your mom refinished. Your mom included a small pillow with it and my mom still has that, too.
Those antiques are works of art and even more special because your hands worked them.
I've always remembered your dog, ____. One time we were hanging out in the barn and I dropped a beer bottle, neglecting to pick up the broken glass. You told me later that he cut his foot and I've always been careful about broken glass since then. I can't rest unless I know that every piece of glass is gone.
I can't tell you how much fun I had going swimming with everyone and skating on your pond. You may not know it, but my life was a real mess back then and it was simple pleasures like those, with good people like you, that began to heal me. I needed honest to goodness good people in my life and you were one of them.
I remember the going away party you gave for us when we moved away. I never had a doubt about leaving home until that party. I wondered, how can we leave an amazing friend like this behind? How will we ever find other friends like you? Well, we never have found another like you, because you're one of kind and always will be.
I remember when you married ____. Oh my goodness I was so damned happy for you both!
I remember when you both came here for husband's 40th birthday. The two of you just simply being here made it a wonderful weekend, and husband was so surprised.
I'm so glad I pushed husband into having a 50th birthday party. He hates people planning stuff for him, but I told him too many people were already committed and we had to do something. I don't think I can ever thank you enough for hosting his party. Again, he was so surprised and you were the biggest part of it! It's a wonderful memory we'll all always cherish.
I'm just plain grateful for the all the times we've all had together. I love you, and thank you for being husband's friend, and my friend, too.
It has been an honor,
I suppose I'm like a lot of people, I'm not real sure what to say right now. So I decided I'd tell you how much you mean to me. Which is a lot.
When I first met you, I saw how good of a person you are, and your family, too. You all were so normal and still are, while still being exceptional. I was raised to appreciate hard working folks, people that worked with their hands and hearts. It showed with everything you did.
Even when you became a Shriner and a clown, you were still working with your hands and heart.
We still have every antique you worked on, every piece of wood, and so does my mom. That reminds me, I have to give son his spinning top you made for him when he was a baby. Oh, and I told my mom the only things I want from her home, when it's her time to go, are the things I've given her. That includes the spring hinged rocker you and your mom refinished. Your mom included a small pillow with it and my mom still has that, too.
Those antiques are works of art and even more special because your hands worked them.
I've always remembered your dog, ____. One time we were hanging out in the barn and I dropped a beer bottle, neglecting to pick up the broken glass. You told me later that he cut his foot and I've always been careful about broken glass since then. I can't rest unless I know that every piece of glass is gone.
I can't tell you how much fun I had going swimming with everyone and skating on your pond. You may not know it, but my life was a real mess back then and it was simple pleasures like those, with good people like you, that began to heal me. I needed honest to goodness good people in my life and you were one of them.
I remember the going away party you gave for us when we moved away. I never had a doubt about leaving home until that party. I wondered, how can we leave an amazing friend like this behind? How will we ever find other friends like you? Well, we never have found another like you, because you're one of kind and always will be.
I remember when you married ____. Oh my goodness I was so damned happy for you both!
I remember when you both came here for husband's 40th birthday. The two of you just simply being here made it a wonderful weekend, and husband was so surprised.
I'm so glad I pushed husband into having a 50th birthday party. He hates people planning stuff for him, but I told him too many people were already committed and we had to do something. I don't think I can ever thank you enough for hosting his party. Again, he was so surprised and you were the biggest part of it! It's a wonderful memory we'll all always cherish.
I'm just plain grateful for the all the times we've all had together. I love you, and thank you for being husband's friend, and my friend, too.
It has been an honor,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((((Chino))))- what a beautiful letter. I wrote a similar one to my uncle, when he was put into hospice. My aunt and cousins (his kids, the ones who have helped me out), said that letter meant more than anything else, and they were holding onto it, for dear life.
I think it's really cool that, as much as it hurts, we can tell a person how much of an impact they've had on our lives..memories from long ago, stuff like that. Okay, so I'm crying at the letter, and thinking I better either call or write g'ma, today (she's a real soft talker, so it's hard to hear her on the phone), but I'll do one or the other.
I didn't see a lot of them, growing up, as CA is quite far away, but I still have some good memories.
I'm glad your hubby is there, though I know this is so terribly hard on the both of you. It's so hard to watch someone die, but I think that he will probably just continue to go into a coma state, he is not suffering (hospice is REALLy good about making sure of that) and he is surrounded by loved ones, gives a little bit of peace.
Extra prayers heading you and hubby's way.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I think it's really cool that, as much as it hurts, we can tell a person how much of an impact they've had on our lives..memories from long ago, stuff like that. Okay, so I'm crying at the letter, and thinking I better either call or write g'ma, today (she's a real soft talker, so it's hard to hear her on the phone), but I'll do one or the other.
I didn't see a lot of them, growing up, as CA is quite far away, but I still have some good memories.
I'm glad your hubby is there, though I know this is so terribly hard on the both of you. It's so hard to watch someone die, but I think that he will probably just continue to go into a coma state, he is not suffering (hospice is REALLy good about making sure of that) and he is surrounded by loved ones, gives a little bit of peace.
Extra prayers heading you and hubby's way.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
A side note is that i realised that i got emotionally emeshed with another person at my first CODA and with someone different at my third AA oh dear. I have grown up since my first CODA so i can perhaps try that again. I was understandably stressed at my third AA.
I keep reading my books i guess living what i learn
I keep reading my books i guess living what i learn
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,494
Chino, your letter is really lovely.
Amy, I LOVE your new smile and your hair, too. You look great!
Miss Rita, I'm right there at the beach with you in all your pinkness!
(((Kevin)))
Amy, I LOVE your new smile and your hair, too. You look great!
Miss Rita, I'm right there at the beach with you in all your pinkness!
(((Kevin)))
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I'm at the beach too!! I wish.
Called g'ma's but she was at uncle J's house, so had a nice conversation with uncle R. Went by work, as I had a store across the street, and told M what was up, that this was probably as much advance notice as I could give, and he thanked me and said "I got you" so we will see. Will also leave a note, as no one there has any memory.
Had an emotional marathon going on in my head, that Tess finally snapped me out of (yeah, it stung, but I needed and appreciate it). Apparently, Brit's new bf's mom is going to hire her at a restaurant where she will make killer tips.
I felt jealous, then went through the financial fears, frustration at so many people in pain, not doing well, mom's b'day, yada yada yada.
I had the feeling, like I am NEVER going to get this codie stuff, but worked through it, somehow, and feel fine. My family IS enmeshed and dysfunctional, and it's up to me to keep myself grounded (with God's help).
Had quite the conversation with Mots, when I got home, who had gotten closed up in Brit's room. I told him it wasn't my fault, and he said "I know, but d....!!"..I think He and Elvis are chilling out, and I'm about to go get something to eat.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Called g'ma's but she was at uncle J's house, so had a nice conversation with uncle R. Went by work, as I had a store across the street, and told M what was up, that this was probably as much advance notice as I could give, and he thanked me and said "I got you" so we will see. Will also leave a note, as no one there has any memory.
Had an emotional marathon going on in my head, that Tess finally snapped me out of (yeah, it stung, but I needed and appreciate it). Apparently, Brit's new bf's mom is going to hire her at a restaurant where she will make killer tips.
I felt jealous, then went through the financial fears, frustration at so many people in pain, not doing well, mom's b'day, yada yada yada.
I had the feeling, like I am NEVER going to get this codie stuff, but worked through it, somehow, and feel fine. My family IS enmeshed and dysfunctional, and it's up to me to keep myself grounded (with God's help).
Had quite the conversation with Mots, when I got home, who had gotten closed up in Brit's room. I told him it wasn't my fault, and he said "I know, but d....!!"..I think
He and Elvis are chilling out, and I'm about to go get something to eat.Hugs and prayers,
Amy
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Friday, July 8, 2011
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Going with the Flow
Go with the flow.
Let go of fear and your need to control. Relinquish anxiety. Let it slip away, as you dive into the river of the present moment, the river of your life, your place in the universe.
Stop trying to force the direction. Try not to swim against the current, unless it is necessary for your survival. If you've been clinging to a branch at the riverside, let go.
Let yourself move forward. Let yourself be moved forward.
Avoid the rapids when possible. If you can't, stay relaxed. Staying relaxed can take your safely through fierce currents. If you go under for a moment, allow yourself to surface naturally. You will.
Appreciate the beauty of the scenery, as it is. See things with freshness, with newness. You shall never pass by today's scenery again!
Don't think too hard about things. The flow is meant to be experienced. Within it, care for yourself. You are part of the flow, an important part. Work with the flow. Work within the flow. Thrashing about isn't necessary. Let the flow help you care for yourself. Let it help you set boundaries, make decisions, and get you where you need to be when it is time. You can trust the flow, and your part in it.
Today, I will go with the flow.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Going with the Flow
Go with the flow.
Let go of fear and your need to control. Relinquish anxiety. Let it slip away, as you dive into the river of the present moment, the river of your life, your place in the universe.
Stop trying to force the direction. Try not to swim against the current, unless it is necessary for your survival. If you've been clinging to a branch at the riverside, let go.
Let yourself move forward. Let yourself be moved forward.
Avoid the rapids when possible. If you can't, stay relaxed. Staying relaxed can take your safely through fierce currents. If you go under for a moment, allow yourself to surface naturally. You will.
Appreciate the beauty of the scenery, as it is. See things with freshness, with newness. You shall never pass by today's scenery again!
Don't think too hard about things. The flow is meant to be experienced. Within it, care for yourself. You are part of the flow, an important part. Work with the flow. Work within the flow. Thrashing about isn't necessary. Let the flow help you care for yourself. Let it help you set boundaries, make decisions, and get you where you need to be when it is time. You can trust the flow, and your part in it.
Today, I will go with the flow.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
Loving detachment. Last night i threw away some pirate music cd's. Staying clean, staying legal. This afternoon i had a door call from local government who have setup an appointment with a mentor for me who will try to help me get back to work if its something i feel capable of doing. Im quite chipper.
The local government person also said they may be able to rehouse me.
I didnt ask for this appointment if just 'happened', right after i got 6 months sober how convenient.
The local government person also said they may be able to rehouse me.
I didnt ask for this appointment if just 'happened', right after i got 6 months sober how convenient.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
do any of you have any ideas of jobs you enjoy or have enjoyed since im thinking about employment. the only job i truly loved was a computer technical support job i had way back in 1999. FIXING technical issues and HELPING PEOPLE. Typical codependent meat and veg. Have you people found that you tend to find those jobs the most rewarding those that use our codie tendencies to the good
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
HEY Peoples -It's a beautiful Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love the day, the challenges, the blessings and the people we get to encounter today!
Kevin - I am a career State Employee (25 plus years) SO I have been "HELPING" people all my job life! Helped them with Unemployment claims, worker's comp claims, food stamps claims, now I help people when the Govenment purchases their property to build Hwys with relocating, PLUS I am a tax professional also ~I help people prepare the taxes !!
Sound very co-dependent?? BUT thru recovery I've learned it's my JOB to help them but it's not my duty to SAVE them. There's a big difference!
Amy - still praying for your g'ma and I wanted to ask - wasn't it mentioned not too long ago that after you had your new beautiful smile you were going to be able to apply for a better job???? Girl, you have a great smile, a wonderful work ethic and a lot to offer any employer - why not give it a try? after all what's the worse you can here - NO? and geez haven't we all already heard that a millions times already?
GEAUX AMY - Go apply for those better jobs YOU deserve just as much as the next person!!!!
Part of the reading from ODAT in Al-Anon pg 190 . . .
"By listening to more than mere words, I can learn much more than ere words can teach."
PINK HUGS my friends!
Love the day, the challenges, the blessings and the people we get to encounter today!
Kevin - I am a career State Employee (25 plus years) SO I have been "HELPING" people all my job life! Helped them with Unemployment claims, worker's comp claims, food stamps claims, now I help people when the Govenment purchases their property to build Hwys with relocating, PLUS I am a tax professional also ~I help people prepare the taxes !!
Sound very co-dependent?? BUT thru recovery I've learned it's my JOB to help them but it's not my duty to SAVE them. There's a big difference!
Amy - still praying for your g'ma and I wanted to ask - wasn't it mentioned not too long ago that after you had your new beautiful smile you were going to be able to apply for a better job???? Girl, you have a great smile, a wonderful work ethic and a lot to offer any employer - why not give it a try? after all what's the worse you can here - NO? and geez haven't we all already heard that a millions times already?
GEAUX AMY - Go apply for those better jobs YOU deserve just as much as the next person!!!!
Part of the reading from ODAT in Al-Anon pg 190 . . .
"By listening to more than mere words, I can learn much more than ere words can teach."
PINK HUGS my friends!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
By golly, it's Friday and that means I'll be getting a 2 day break from having both terrier-ist puppies during the day! 
Sorry I haven't been consistent in this thread but I'm trying to adjust to a higher dose of the Abilify, and it does have side effects that leave me kind of spacey and disorganized, for lack of a better description. I also have sleep disturbance at night-was up from 3-5 this morning!
Amber's been all upset lately as her EXABF is off on vacation for 2 weeks to NY where he's from, and he's been offered a great job up there.
I know that even if he does move, that doesn't "fix" her, and she's not willing to do the work yet on her codependency issues. All I can do is continue to be a living example of recovery for her.
Triple digit temps in the forecast for 5 days running, so this old gal isn't going to be doing much of anything except staying in the cool house!
Sorry I haven't been consistent in this thread but I'm trying to adjust to a higher dose of the Abilify, and it does have side effects that leave me kind of spacey and disorganized, for lack of a better description. I also have sleep disturbance at night-was up from 3-5 this morning!
Amber's been all upset lately as her EXABF is off on vacation for 2 weeks to NY where he's from, and he's been offered a great job up there.
I know that even if he does move, that doesn't "fix" her, and she's not willing to do the work yet on her codependency issues. All I can do is continue to be a living example of recovery for her.
Triple digit temps in the forecast for 5 days running, so this old gal isn't going to be doing much of anything except staying in the cool house!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Kevin))) - I enjoyed my server job, a lot, until we got robbed twice and my mgr treated me badly. I know that we have the unemployment office that will do a screening for you to see what type job you'd be good at. Don't know if you have that over there.
(((Rita))) - I DID talk about getting another job. However, that was before I found out I'd be taking 5 classes in school each semester. The 2 I've been taking, have taken a lot of time, demanded some flexibility, and I want to see how much time these courses are going to take.
Kinda hard to go apply for a job, telling them "come 8/22, I'll be back in school, don't know how many days or what hours I can work" because that really is true. Though one thing says my classes are all online, the printout of my schedule says "hybrid" which means I may have to actually GO to some of the classes, like I did last qtr.
Also, with this CA trip up in the air, it's just not a good time and I have to accept that. People start hiring again in the fall, and by then I'll know what I'm facing in school and how much time it takes.
I'm taking: Intro to healthcare, computer applications in health care, medical records/structure, legal aspects of health care, and pharmocotherapy (which kicked my butt in nursing school), so that's a heavy load, for me.
If something drops in my lap, as it did for Brit, I certainly won't turn it down, but school is my priority.
I'm just in a bit of a limbo, and you know how we codies HATE that! I have faith that it will work out the way it's supposed to. Should get about an extra $1000 in grants, and can apply for the school loan, so can pay off the car and that will be a HUGE financial relief.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
(((Rita))) - I DID talk about getting another job. However, that was before I found out I'd be taking 5 classes in school each semester. The 2 I've been taking, have taken a lot of time, demanded some flexibility, and I want to see how much time these courses are going to take.
Kinda hard to go apply for a job, telling them "come 8/22, I'll be back in school, don't know how many days or what hours I can work" because that really is true. Though one thing says my classes are all online, the printout of my schedule says "hybrid" which means I may have to actually GO to some of the classes, like I did last qtr.
Also, with this CA trip up in the air, it's just not a good time and I have to accept that. People start hiring again in the fall, and by then I'll know what I'm facing in school and how much time it takes.
I'm taking: Intro to healthcare, computer applications in health care, medical records/structure, legal aspects of health care, and pharmocotherapy (which kicked my butt in nursing school), so that's a heavy load, for me.
If something drops in my lap, as it did for Brit, I certainly won't turn it down, but school is my priority.
I'm just in a bit of a limbo, and you know how we codies HATE that! I have faith that it will work out the way it's supposed to. Should get about an extra $1000 in grants, and can apply for the school loan, so can pay off the car and that will be a HUGE financial relief.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
That is a heavy load Amy. Legal aspects kicked my butt! I'm assuming that your pharmacotherapy is the same as the pharmacology class I took, which is a very intensive class too. I took tons of notes in both of those classes.
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