Codependency and Beyond Part 20
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Thursday, August 11, 2011
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Healing
Let healing energy flow through your body.
The healing energy of God, the Universe, life, and recovery surrounds us. It is available, waiting for us to draw on it, waiting for us to draw it in. It's waiting at our meetings or groups, on the words of a whispered prayer, in a gentle touch, a positive word, a positive thought. Healing energy is in the sun, the wind, and the rain, in all that is good.
Let healing energy come. Attract it. Accept it. Let it soak in. Breathe in the golden light. Exhale. Let go of fear, anger, hurt, and doubt. Let healing energy flow to you, through you.
It is yours for the asking, for the believing.
Today, I will ask for, and accept, the healing energy from God and the Universe. I will let it flow to me, through me, and back out to others. I am part of, and at one with, the continuous cycle of healing
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Healing
Let healing energy flow through your body.
The healing energy of God, the Universe, life, and recovery surrounds us. It is available, waiting for us to draw on it, waiting for us to draw it in. It's waiting at our meetings or groups, on the words of a whispered prayer, in a gentle touch, a positive word, a positive thought. Healing energy is in the sun, the wind, and the rain, in all that is good.
Let healing energy come. Attract it. Accept it. Let it soak in. Breathe in the golden light. Exhale. Let go of fear, anger, hurt, and doubt. Let healing energy flow to you, through you.
It is yours for the asking, for the believing.
Today, I will ask for, and accept, the healing energy from God and the Universe. I will let it flow to me, through me, and back out to others. I am part of, and at one with, the continuous cycle of healing
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Lisa))) - so glad that you are all together and dealing with the emotions. I know, for me, it was a bit of relief to get that "year of firsts" behind me, not that I didn't still grieve.
Okay, good news is that dad is leaving stepmom in SC for another week. He told her of how hard I'd been working on things, and if she comes back and "destroys" it again, she is history. Of course, he'd also told Brit she was out of his life. He filled my car up with gas and told me to get $60 so I wouldn't be here with no money. AT the ATM, he said to get $100 so he could give Brit $50 (um, what happened to the I'm out of your life, if you need money, find somewhere else to get it?) so I don't hold much stock in his words.
He did text Brit to get in touch with me about the money and I told him she can find ways to do fun stuff, she can find a way to get here, as I'm not taking it to her.
Bad news is, I went to check my schedule for work this week and I'm not on it? C was the only one there, and when I asked, she snapped "I have nothing to do with the schedule". Several of my coworkers were pretty shocked that I'm not scheduled.
Don't know when M will be there, texted T and asked if I'd been let go and someone just forgot to tell me; that I'd told M, when I bought my dr's note in, that I'd be able to work on Fri. as usual.
The guy at the restaurant prefers to talk to people on Wed., and I was busy all day yesterday (I'm one of those who has to take advantage of energetic periods and keep the momentum going).
I've applied for 2 merchandising jobs online. One of them had THE worst assessment tests I've ever seen. I didn't even finish the first one. The other is full of questions that are going to make me sound like an idiot. I prefer working alone - yes, on one job. I prefer working with others - yes, on the other job. This is for a Michael's craft store?!?! The two jobs are totally different and the only questions I could say "absolutely agree" with were "you enjoy meeting new people", "you are totally comfortable in talking to people you don't know".
If they actually look at the application I may have a chance, but if it goes by those stupid tests, well I doubt I'll get a call back.
The first test had a description of something (among other difficult questions) and you had to pick the first letter of what it was describing..like "grass, surrounded by trees" and the answer was "field" so you'd pick the f. They perfectly described a box spring, but gave me letters like H, T, Q, L?
Brit just called, told her to come on over to get her money. Apparently, the SURE job she had isn't so sure..said she's going out Monday to put in applications.
Going to use the computer to listen to my music as I tackle the rest of the kitchen and work off some of this anxiety.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Okay, good news is that dad is leaving stepmom in SC for another week. He told her of how hard I'd been working on things, and if she comes back and "destroys" it again, she is history. Of course, he'd also told Brit she was out of his life. He filled my car up with gas and told me to get $60 so I wouldn't be here with no money. AT the ATM, he said to get $100 so he could give Brit $50 (um, what happened to the I'm out of your life, if you need money, find somewhere else to get it?) so I don't hold much stock in his words.
He did text Brit to get in touch with me about the money and I told him she can find ways to do fun stuff, she can find a way to get here, as I'm not taking it to her.
Bad news is, I went to check my schedule for work this week and I'm not on it? C was the only one there, and when I asked, she snapped "I have nothing to do with the schedule". Several of my coworkers were pretty shocked that I'm not scheduled.
Don't know when M will be there, texted T and asked if I'd been let go and someone just forgot to tell me; that I'd told M, when I bought my dr's note in, that I'd be able to work on Fri. as usual.
The guy at the restaurant prefers to talk to people on Wed., and I was busy all day yesterday (I'm one of those who has to take advantage of energetic periods and keep the momentum going).
I've applied for 2 merchandising jobs online. One of them had THE worst assessment tests I've ever seen. I didn't even finish the first one. The other is full of questions that are going to make me sound like an idiot. I prefer working alone - yes, on one job. I prefer working with others - yes, on the other job. This is for a Michael's craft store?!?! The two jobs are totally different and the only questions I could say "absolutely agree" with were "you enjoy meeting new people", "you are totally comfortable in talking to people you don't know".
If they actually look at the application I may have a chance, but if it goes by those stupid tests, well I doubt I'll get a call back.
The first test had a description of something (among other difficult questions) and you had to pick the first letter of what it was describing..like "grass, surrounded by trees" and the answer was "field" so you'd pick the f. They perfectly described a box spring, but gave me letters like H, T, Q, L?
Brit just called, told her to come on over to get her money. Apparently, the SURE job she had isn't so sure..said she's going out Monday to put in applications.
Going to use the computer to listen to my music as I tackle the rest of the kitchen and work off some of this anxiety.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Lisa)) you and your family have been in my thoughts & prayers today! That the peace and serenity of your HP fill your heart, mind and soul as you walk thru this day and all the other days that cause you grief!
((Amy)) For me, when there is chaos and disorder - in my physical surroundings or in "Ritaville" it affects my level of serenity ~ You are probably more at peace because you feel the peacefulness returning to your physical home! AND the sense of accomplishment because YOU have created it! I pray it continues that way for you!.
Please keep Mr. Pink & I in your thoughts & prayers this weekend ~ we are traveling to AL to see his sister that was in the hospital last week ~ she is doing a little better - but not the best. Mr. Pink said "I want to see my sister while she is alive, not like my brother."
This will also be our first trip to AL without Arthur - Mr. Pink's brother that passed away last week. I believe I told yall that Arthur always went on these trips with us ~ he was fun company - telling us stories of childhood memories, places he worked as a young man, things that are long gone now, and of course now he is too.
It was such a fun thing to do ~ to sit in the back seat and watch Mr. Pink and his brother interact - that sibling rivalry never goes away - they would joke with each other about who needed to spend more money, who remembered this, who had done this - but the loves was evident. There was always the big brother, Arthur telling baby brother Mr. Pink what to do and Mr. Pink resenting a little, but listening because he knew there was wisdom in his brother's words. And a Baby Brother that remembers his oldest brother providing for him when there was no food, no clothes, no anything - Mr. Pink tells me often - if he wasn't for his 2 oldest siblings I never would have finished school. They supported us and their own families.
Yes, this will be a tough trip but a needed one - Big Sister needs to see her baby brother as much as baby brother needs to see her.
Did I mention today How grateful I am to be a part of this loving family? How much I love them And that I am blessed enough to be loved by them too.
Today I am overwhelmed again with Gratitude with all the PINKNESS that God continues to reveal in my life.
I pray that each of you feels the love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness of Your HP on every path you walk today!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
((Amy)) For me, when there is chaos and disorder - in my physical surroundings or in "Ritaville" it affects my level of serenity ~ You are probably more at peace because you feel the peacefulness returning to your physical home! AND the sense of accomplishment because YOU have created it! I pray it continues that way for you!.
Please keep Mr. Pink & I in your thoughts & prayers this weekend ~ we are traveling to AL to see his sister that was in the hospital last week ~ she is doing a little better - but not the best. Mr. Pink said "I want to see my sister while she is alive, not like my brother."
This will also be our first trip to AL without Arthur - Mr. Pink's brother that passed away last week. I believe I told yall that Arthur always went on these trips with us ~ he was fun company - telling us stories of childhood memories, places he worked as a young man, things that are long gone now, and of course now he is too.
It was such a fun thing to do ~ to sit in the back seat and watch Mr. Pink and his brother interact - that sibling rivalry never goes away - they would joke with each other about who needed to spend more money, who remembered this, who had done this - but the loves was evident. There was always the big brother, Arthur telling baby brother Mr. Pink what to do and Mr. Pink resenting a little, but listening because he knew there was wisdom in his brother's words. And a Baby Brother that remembers his oldest brother providing for him when there was no food, no clothes, no anything - Mr. Pink tells me often - if he wasn't for his 2 oldest siblings I never would have finished school. They supported us and their own families.
Yes, this will be a tough trip but a needed one - Big Sister needs to see her baby brother as much as baby brother needs to see her.
Did I mention today How grateful I am to be a part of this loving family? How much I love them And that I am blessed enough to be loved by them too.
Today I am overwhelmed again with Gratitude with all the PINKNESS that God continues to reveal in my life.
I pray that each of you feels the love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness of Your HP on every path you walk today!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
Pink [or Rita] i do hope you have a good trip. Sorry about MrPinks sister.
I saw some family today went well.
Amy ive worked at maccies. Moving is a good move i think . I am also considering work things. Im pretty over most of my past now but i still dont have a future so...
My old man[father] thinks that doing voluntary work would be a good way back again. I tend to agree but 1 where 2 when and 3 for how long.
Im over alot of my paranoia btw also. I finally got a copy of a book on boundaries so can now see that so many things i thought were my failures etc in the past were actually other people being in the wrong not me. Oh well.
I saw some family today went well.
Amy ive worked at maccies. Moving is a good move i think . I am also considering work things. Im pretty over most of my past now but i still dont have a future so...
My old man[father] thinks that doing voluntary work would be a good way back again. I tend to agree but 1 where 2 when and 3 for how long.
Im over alot of my paranoia btw also. I finally got a copy of a book on boundaries so can now see that so many things i thought were my failures etc in the past were actually other people being in the wrong not me. Oh well.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Kevin - glad the visit with family went well - best wishes on the volunteer work - I'm sure there are plenty of places needing help - where does your interest take you?
Frances - isn't this place like coming home to your favorite chair, with your fav blankee and your best friend right beside - for the best visit ever!
Frances - isn't this place like coming home to your favorite chair, with your fav blankee and your best friend right beside - for the best visit ever!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,499
Rita, prayers for you and all of your wonderful family. I hope you have a safe trip.
(((Lisa)))
Amy, darn about the scheduling problem. And, omg, online job applications have become more and more the norm and I found the test stuff is dreadfully scary.
And, IF they look at your application, it will look great, so fingers crossed.
(((Lisa)))
Amy, darn about the scheduling problem. And, omg, online job applications have become more and more the norm and I found the test stuff is dreadfully scary.
And, IF they look at your application, it will look great, so fingers crossed.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Wow, I have fallen so far behind over here that I'm not even going to try to catch up. 
I'm really struggling with acceptance since I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes last week.
I've gone from denial to depression to anger to back to depression.
I don't know where I'm at today. *sigh*
I'm really struggling with acceptance since I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes last week.
I've gone from denial to depression to anger to back to depression.
I don't know where I'm at today. *sigh*
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((DeVon))) - I can imagine the struggle in accepting diabetes type 2. I'm having enough trouble accepting AGING
I'm taking a break, as I was getting more and more frustrated, and it takes time to run the gazillion dishes through the dishwasher - still have the kitchen table and floor full of stuff to be washed.
Stepmom called and is probably not happy she did. I guess I set boundaries in that I told her that I will NOT tolerate the pantries or fridges to get in that bad of shape again, and I certainly wasn't going to clean up her mess. She mentioned bagging up the mountain of clothes and taking it to goodwill or having a yard sale and I told her "I'll believe it when I see it...you've said that for 4 years, and all you've done is bring home more stuff".
Needless to say, the conversation wasn't long and I did tell her about work. She's been asking "do you think they're trying to get rid of you" for a while, and I guess she's right. I think they want kids who will just do what they're told, take being talked to in any kind of way, with not much experience in the work field. I'm not that one..I've been working longer than any of my shift managers have been alive.
So, I'm on the couch, watching stepmom's big screen TV and taking a break. Will finish up my stores for the month tomorrow, unless I get motivated to work late into the night.
(((Rita))) - prayers for you and ((Mr. Pink)) on your trip. I know you will miss ((Arthur)) but glad you're going to see your SIL.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I'm taking a break, as I was getting more and more frustrated, and it takes time to run the gazillion dishes through the dishwasher - still have the kitchen table and floor full of stuff to be washed.
Stepmom called and is probably not happy she did. I guess I set boundaries in that I told her that I will NOT tolerate the pantries or fridges to get in that bad of shape again, and I certainly wasn't going to clean up her mess. She mentioned bagging up the mountain of clothes and taking it to goodwill or having a yard sale and I told her "I'll believe it when I see it...you've said that for 4 years, and all you've done is bring home more stuff".
Needless to say, the conversation wasn't long and I did tell her about work. She's been asking "do you think they're trying to get rid of you" for a while, and I guess she's right. I think they want kids who will just do what they're told, take being talked to in any kind of way, with not much experience in the work field. I'm not that one..I've been working longer than any of my shift managers have been alive.
So, I'm on the couch, watching stepmom's big screen TV and taking a break. Will finish up my stores for the month tomorrow, unless I get motivated to work late into the night.
(((Rita))) - prayers for you and ((Mr. Pink)) on your trip. I know you will miss ((Arthur)) but glad you're going to see your SIL.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
Rita i dont really know what i want to do in life really. I gather its going to be something i discover at some point. I had been dealing with alot of shame and blame on self but since reading two books [shame bradshaw, boundaries whitfielfd] im over that now. Basically i had worked with someone who had become toxic to me. Im over it now but have been living in shame for 2+ years. Crazy.
I say to myself that now my mind is ok [paranoia free] it will take some time to build my confidence. I mean im used to feeling anxious about going out. These days i dont really feel shame or fear walking about [last 4 days ish] but those feelings became so normal to me that im not yet sure what to put in the emotional gaps
I say to myself that now my mind is ok [paranoia free] it will take some time to build my confidence. I mean im used to feeling anxious about going out. These days i dont really feel shame or fear walking about [last 4 days ish] but those feelings became so normal to me that im not yet sure what to put in the emotional gaps
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Rita, more prayers on the way and for a very safe trip, too.
Amy, I had dinner with a friend tonight and we talked about 'home'. I told her about moving daughter out and said I can't and won't ignore her crazy habits any more. I said detaching from others moods and issues is one thing, but it's flat out wrong to ignore things in your own home. That's when I thought about you and, after reading your post, good for you laying down more boundaries! Your effort needs to be respected.
(((DeVon))) I wish had something uplifting to say but I don't
Amy, I had dinner with a friend tonight and we talked about 'home'. I told her about moving daughter out and said I can't and won't ignore her crazy habits any more. I said detaching from others moods and issues is one thing, but it's flat out wrong to ignore things in your own home. That's when I thought about you and, after reading your post, good for you laying down more boundaries! Your effort needs to be respected.
(((DeVon))) I wish had something uplifting to say but I don't
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Chino))) - don't know that I can keep my boundaries, though...if she doesn't keep it clean, then what? I won't clean it again, I guarantee it, unless she's not coming back to this house. Dad's so wishy-washy, it's hard to know if he'll back me up. He IS trying, but he has no idea how much of a codie he is
I'm just getting angrier and angrier as I'm washing everything. Guess Elvis thought I needed a laugh and help, though..he just jumped up onto the bottom shelf of the pantry
Won't be doing stores tomorrow as I don't want to wake up to this stuff, so will get it done tonight.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I'm just getting angrier and angrier as I'm washing everything. Guess Elvis thought I needed a laugh and help, though..he just jumped up onto the bottom shelf of the pantry
Won't be doing stores tomorrow as I don't want to wake up to this stuff, so will get it done tonight.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
