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Class of December 2010 pt 6

Old 04-25-2011, 06:37 AM
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R&A and Soph.......Sorry you had a rough day...I think everyone feels that way, especially around the holidays. But I don't think it is just a parenthood thing. My dad is in Florida and have a brother in New England.........that's it. Period. End of family. Many years(most years) I have been by myself during the holidays......not even a kid to visit with. I get what you are feeling. I really do. I almost wish I had the day alone yesterday.......

Example of my lovely dinner:

His parents were there, I like them and they are courteous.
Brat daughter #1.........arrives 45 minutes late.......she walks in and I have to get up and get her a plate and drink,etc.........no thank you, not sorry I am late..........nothing. I made a joke about something a little while later, she says flatly "I don't know what that means..." Making me look like an ahole........
Daughter #2 shows up and hour late.......same routine on the plates.........I asked if she wanted some pork loin......a sarcastic "I am thinking not!" She repeated this catch-phrase several times over her dinner. Are manners not taught anymore? What happened to "no thank you?????????"
Oh and those cute cupcakes? Neither one would have anything to do with them. "I hate those..." Very ungrateful young women........quite frankly it hurt my feelings.....I was happy to see them leave........
With that, I need to let it go....not my deal.

So.......I would have given anything to be by myself, to have the day to call my own.......

Wow.......I must have had that all bottled up, ha? LOL.............thanks for letting me vent!

Glad you guys made the weekend. I thought about some wine with dinner...........for all of 2 seconds..........thankfully it went away as quickly as it arrived.....

BF, don't let that dude in class bug ya. Do you sit near him? Ask him if he wants to go skydiving and then....well...you know. he he.

Well, have a good Monday everyone!!!
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Old 04-25-2011, 06:41 AM
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Good for you BF! Every victory makes you a little stronger too. Remember Soph's advice: the worse that kid behaves, the more you have to assume he's struggling with demons of his own.

As for skydiving: and they say alcoholism is a form of insanity? That used to be on my list of things to do, but these days I think hot air balloons are more my speed, lol. Funny though because overnight I got an email from Yelp with a half-off deal ay Skydive America in Oceanside—$160 bucks for a tandem dive with an instructor.

Glad it's Monday. Hope you guys have a great week!
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Old 04-25-2011, 06:47 AM
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Do you sit near him? Ask him if he wants to go skydiving
You are sooo bad VC—in an evil genius kind of way!

I'm thinking not
OMG, that's a phrase you'd see in a movie or sitcom! Have three more infuriating words ever been strung together, lol???!!!

Here's to a new week.
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Old 04-25-2011, 07:10 AM
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Hmmm VC, you get the Restraint Award from me!! Wow is that rude, all of it - the lateness and that stupid phrase. So she admitted to thinking, huh? There's hope. (my dig, sorry.)

Did you ever see Bye Bye Birdie? If so do you remember that song "Kids! I don't know what's wrong with these kids todaaay" - I guess it never changes huh!

It is Monday, and Chicago was singing "Feeling Stronger" on the radio this morning which was nice. Remember Chicago? Sheesh, I am really heading down oldies lane. Sorry!

MJ sorry you threw your back out...but...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
222

Hope you have a great day!! Sober!!! Hope you get some goodies!!
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Old 04-25-2011, 08:07 AM
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Sheesh, I am really heading down oldies lane.
Old? Isn't Chicago still touring? lol.............I love that song! For all you youngsters....

YouTube - Chicago Feelin' Stronger Everyday

You are sooo bad VC—in an evil genius kind of way!
hee hee...
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Old 04-25-2011, 09:55 AM
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sto lat! sto lat! 100 years! 100 years!...that's the Polish bday song we always sing in my family. MJ, all the best to you today. VC, you took the high road, nice work. Wow, I remember a cousin insulting my mother's cooking, years ago, but I still remember how hurt Mom looked. We gotta remember what words can really do.

Friends, this journey, this life can be lonely. Believe me, I grow very tired of being a single person, 40+ yo, trying to figure out what it's all about. Usually it lasts for a bit then there usually comes some moment of clarity, I take a breath, and realize things will be allright. In many ways this SR journey is similar, I have to let go and not fear so much.

I am thankfull to be channeling this angst into pizzas and not beer and wine...now if I can only channel more into good eating, better excercise, and more positive thinking and not pizzas...that'll be golden.

Still in this thing togeher!
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Old 04-25-2011, 10:36 AM
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MGF, you didn't just say "better exercise," did ya??????????? This coming from the Marathon Man???? Really?


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 04-25-2011, 12:00 PM
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Here's to a new week! Rough night last night. I had a total meltdown, but I didn't drink!

We're dog sitting two big dogs, and one of them got out and attacked the neighbor's dog. He's fine, thank god, but we're really embarrassed and the neighbors are all understandably livid. One or both neighbors called the landlords, from whom we got a call at 9:30 last night. Bottom line, dogs have to be gone ASAP or else we're getting kicked out, and now the landlords don't trust us and we're "those" a-hole neighbors. Lame.

I was the one who had to talk to the landlord, and to apologize to the neighbors, even though dog sitting wasn't my idea. My fiance was even reluctant to call his friends to tell them to make other arrangements for the dogs. Somehow when talking about this situation and telling him about how I was feeling frustrated, we start talking about money and the bottom line of our convo was: you (me) have got to work more.

I totally lost it. I've been saying for a while that I need to get out of escorting, and the fact that I had to clean up his mess yesterday, plus "you need to work more" just made me crazy. I felt like I was being pimped out. I was completely hysterical - I told him I wish I was getting married to a man who would do anything to keep me from having to do that if I didn't want to anymore.

Anyway, I think he finally got how important it is to me to leave this part of my life behind. I told him I just needed to be taken care of for a bit, and that I needed him to be the strong one for once. I think he really got it. If he didn't, I'm leaving him. I cried for hours, and I did notice a genuine change in the way he was talking to me and treating me. This morning he was different too. I hope he gets how important this is, and I hope he doesn't forget it.

I didn't drink, even though I felt like I was losing my mind. I'm proud of that and I'm also proud I was finally able to express what I had to. I hope I was heard.
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Old 04-25-2011, 01:19 PM
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Hi, everyone! Birthday started with a sick kid...now both are home, and they've been wonderful to me all day. Due to virus, we had to cancel plans for Mumford & Sons concert...but I am actually looking forward to a pajama family night. As MG says, time to take a breath and be grateful...not what I expected, but even better in many ways. (My little guy has spent all day wrapping up things like staples and glue and giving them to me: "I have another surprise for you, Mom!"

I'm getting caught up in the "am I an alcoholic" question. One of my sisters, who I am very close to, told me she really thinks I'm being hard on myself, and I should let myself have a drink now and again. Of course, I want to believe this. But I am taking it one day at a time...maybe I can have a drink in a year, hopefully I'll be done. Today, I'm staying sober.

Have a great Monday, all!
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Old 04-25-2011, 01:28 PM
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I'll be honest with you MJ - having been with you on the journey since December...

if you're having this much trouble letting alcohol go from your life?
I really believe that should tell you something.

Your sister may mean well, and it may be what you want to hear, but that doesn't mean it's right.

Noone here I know of can have a drink now and again.
If we could have, we would have.

D
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Old 04-25-2011, 04:38 PM
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Tjank you for your honesty. I appreciate it.
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Old 04-25-2011, 04:40 PM
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Meant to say "thank"
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Old 04-25-2011, 04:56 PM
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And also, I think you're right. So tempting to believe otherwise.
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Old 04-25-2011, 05:06 PM
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It took me a long time to accept it too, MJ...you're not drinking though, so you're doing ok

D
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Old 04-25-2011, 06:18 PM
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Happy Birthday MJ! Hope you have a great day!!
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Old 04-25-2011, 06:33 PM
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Happy birthday MJ!

Update on my earlier rant: I talked about things again with my fiance and I'm DONE with escorting. We're both going to get real jobs. I'm so happy! I feel like my life is starting to reflect my new sober self. Escorting was a drunk thing, and I can't and won't do it ever again. What a relief!
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Old 04-25-2011, 07:24 PM
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Also, thanks to everyone who has been supportive. I know it's an odd/uncomfortable situation but your words of support, PMs and emails have been invaluable in getting me to this point. You know who you are. Have a great night, everyone!
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Old 04-25-2011, 08:39 PM
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Lots of good things to read here tonight!

GFCO, I don't think there's anything uncomfortable someone can post here—and thank god for that, because having an emotional safehouse like this has been critical for me. Good for you and your fiance. Sounds like a tough night turned out to be a blessing. Good reminder in there for me of why even when things seem terrible, there's a good chance drinking will make it worse. Thanks for sharing that.

MGF, thanks to you for your posts too. Guess it's easy to get so caught up in my own scene, and forget that we all have our own struggles. And at least no one was telling me "I am thinking not"... lol, VC, I've been thinking about that comment all day—I would have totally lost it! Why does that totally push a button for me? I need to try some of Soph's compassionate Buddhist Jedi mind tricks.... deep breath... letting go now...

MJ, glad to read your follow-ups. I look it as the Catch 22 of alcohol: the more I want a drink, the clearer it is why I can't have one. Besides, who needs it? I hope you're having a great b-day night. You have a lot to celebrate!

BF, you're doing great. How's week No. 2 shaping up? Any sign of Mr. Wonderful? Maybe we could hook him up with one of VC's dinner guests, and they could become the Adam and Eve of a race of people with superhuman powers to annoy... (Can you tell I watched a couple Twilight Zone episodes last night? Looks like I have time for a couple more tonight!)

Lala salama, everyone.
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Old 04-25-2011, 09:20 PM
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R&A by week 2 are you talking about sober time? If so I drank on the 21st So closin in on day 4 today. Yea I did have the pleasure of seeing Mr wonderful in class tonight. He actually wasn't as bad as the past weeks.

GFCO I think your making a good decision to find a new job to go along with your new sober life!

Well I'm super tired and off to bed, good night everyone!
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Old 04-25-2011, 09:34 PM
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Ooops. Well... it's the start of your second calendar week! Guess I was so glad you made it through the weekend that I gave you a few days bonus time in my head...
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