Class Of March 2011 Part 3
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Class Of March 2011 Part 3
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
TOI...you said:
Lofty, I feel I facing real life for the first time. I was 22 when I realised that I did not want to be an accountant (pretty much the time I became one!) and wanted to work in the arts - writing or something. 23/24 I headed overseas and also started drinking and carried on accounting. Now 42, I am having to work out how to be what I want to be when I grow up...and having to grow up! And I figure when I am doing what I want to do with my life, I will meet more like-minded people and amybe even have some friends who live in my town! It is exciting when it isn't terrifying!
(Sorry...don't really get how to do the quote thing, so I just copy/paste).
I think between you and ReggieWayne, my issues are pretty much covered. I'm a wannabe lawyer, which ended up in insurance defense. It was a good ride, and I got to see the world. In fact, I've been to Auckland and toured some of north NZ. Five years ago, I was tired of 65% travel, and missing my kids childhood. Plus, my wife, who works, was pulling her hair out. So, I quit to become a financial advisor. I like the job a lot. But, there are sharks everywhere around me. It's tough and demanding, and it's not that I don't want to do it, but its probably not a calling, as such. I also enjoy writing, and oddly, public speaking. The income in my current role is similar to what I left, but very sporadic. Creates a lot of strains in the relationship. One of the reasons I quit drinking on 3/9 was to have a clearer head to focus on my business. Instead, I've been focusing on sobriety, and realizing how screwed up my life has become. My wife sees me on SR, and gets pissed because that doesn't bring in the bacon. Today, she pretty much intimated that we're through. This is nothing new, its been a threat for a year. Quite frankly, it doesn't upset me as much as it should, but it sure does make me want to crack that bottle of bourbon in the basement. I'm fighting that with all my willpower. Lots more to the saga, but I won't bore you with details. More importantly, I took a bike ride instead of cracking the bourbon, and now she's gone with the kids, so I can have peace without drinking into escape.
Good luck with finding your calling. There is a book "The Call" by Os Guinness that might help you with the process. Glad you were safe during the quake. My heart goes out to Christchurch. Still want to get to the south island some day.
Cheers!
Lofty, I feel I facing real life for the first time. I was 22 when I realised that I did not want to be an accountant (pretty much the time I became one!) and wanted to work in the arts - writing or something. 23/24 I headed overseas and also started drinking and carried on accounting. Now 42, I am having to work out how to be what I want to be when I grow up...and having to grow up! And I figure when I am doing what I want to do with my life, I will meet more like-minded people and amybe even have some friends who live in my town! It is exciting when it isn't terrifying!
(Sorry...don't really get how to do the quote thing, so I just copy/paste).
I think between you and ReggieWayne, my issues are pretty much covered. I'm a wannabe lawyer, which ended up in insurance defense. It was a good ride, and I got to see the world. In fact, I've been to Auckland and toured some of north NZ. Five years ago, I was tired of 65% travel, and missing my kids childhood. Plus, my wife, who works, was pulling her hair out. So, I quit to become a financial advisor. I like the job a lot. But, there are sharks everywhere around me. It's tough and demanding, and it's not that I don't want to do it, but its probably not a calling, as such. I also enjoy writing, and oddly, public speaking. The income in my current role is similar to what I left, but very sporadic. Creates a lot of strains in the relationship. One of the reasons I quit drinking on 3/9 was to have a clearer head to focus on my business. Instead, I've been focusing on sobriety, and realizing how screwed up my life has become. My wife sees me on SR, and gets pissed because that doesn't bring in the bacon. Today, she pretty much intimated that we're through. This is nothing new, its been a threat for a year. Quite frankly, it doesn't upset me as much as it should, but it sure does make me want to crack that bottle of bourbon in the basement. I'm fighting that with all my willpower. Lots more to the saga, but I won't bore you with details. More importantly, I took a bike ride instead of cracking the bourbon, and now she's gone with the kids, so I can have peace without drinking into escape.
Good luck with finding your calling. There is a book "The Call" by Os Guinness that might help you with the process. Glad you were safe during the quake. My heart goes out to Christchurch. Still want to get to the south island some day.
Cheers!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Aw Lofty..I'm sorry you went through that today. Good call on the bike ride..well done! Maybe/hopefully with more sober time, your wife will realize how important SR is to you as a support system. ? Hoping the best for you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sober Recovery
Posts: 233
Longest Time I have been sober in about 3 years, woo onto day 15 tom...almost half a month already. I am still adapting to my new lifestyle. I still feel like something is missing, but I was at the gas station staring at a 12 pack just because it was in front of me and I was kind of repulsed by it... wondering how I used to drink 12 of those things easily. How did I fit all of those calories into my stomach? So my cravings are still there but I think the physical part of it, when it is in front of me and not in my head, is getting easier.
Too bad I have been soo busy lately, it is stressful sometimes.
Too bad I have been soo busy lately, it is stressful sometimes.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
So Lofty, have you decided if you're going to stay sober after Easter? (And I'm with you on the public speaking thing ... I spend most of my life in front of people and I love it. I was talking with a friend of mine in Zambia today (that's going to be one big phone bill!), and he wants me to be a public advocate/spokesperson for his ministry ... I'm thinking/praying about it. That kind of thing is definitely a strength for me, and I really believe in what he's doing over there.)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 8
Day 18
Hello Marchers,
18 days for me. whew.
Still not terribly motivated to write, but thanks to all of you who do...
Kimbie, I hear you about the dark circles, waaaaaaa! What's up with that?
GenJen, I'm having nightmares about that crawly bacon thing, ICK!!!
Germanos, way to go baby!
Lofty, hang in there. Your posts are refreshingly honest, and may I use your sign off?
In reality,
NVGal
18 days for me. whew.
Still not terribly motivated to write, but thanks to all of you who do...
Kimbie, I hear you about the dark circles, waaaaaaa! What's up with that?
GenJen, I'm having nightmares about that crawly bacon thing, ICK!!!
Germanos, way to go baby!
Lofty, hang in there. Your posts are refreshingly honest, and may I use your sign off?
In reality,
NVGal
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by least 
Last month's class and it's on part 3 already?? Wow! Whole lotta recovery goin' on...
Not terribly motivated to write tonite, either, but wanted to drop in and say hey. Appreciate everyone's posts. Safe and happy travel tomorrow, pbc. Thanks for being here everyone
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 331
Hiya fellow Marchers, WHERE IS RACHEL????? Hey don't call me a codie, but I'm worried about her 
Sorry no list for me today, too tired but I love everyone of you.
And here are some words about My Marchers
-All glory comes from daring to begin
-Fall 7 times, stand up 8 (Chinese proverb)
-It may seem a long way to a goal, but the next step to a goal is always easy.
-There is no failure except in no longer trying
-Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village
-Change your thoughts and you change your world (Norman Peale)
-I am only one but I am one; I can't do everything but I can do something; what I can do, I ought to do and what I ought to do, I will do.
- Plan purposefully, prepare spiritually, proceed postively, pursue persistently
-Nothing is worth more than this day (Johann Von Goethe)
AND LAST ONE lol
-We are always beginning to live, but are never truly living (Manilius)
Have a great day people
Sorry no list for me today, too tired but I love everyone of you.
And here are some words about My Marchers
-All glory comes from daring to begin
-Fall 7 times, stand up 8 (Chinese proverb)
-It may seem a long way to a goal, but the next step to a goal is always easy.
-There is no failure except in no longer trying
-Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village
-Change your thoughts and you change your world (Norman Peale)
-I am only one but I am one; I can't do everything but I can do something; what I can do, I ought to do and what I ought to do, I will do.
- Plan purposefully, prepare spiritually, proceed postively, pursue persistently
-Nothing is worth more than this day (Johann Von Goethe)
AND LAST ONE lol
-We are always beginning to live, but are never truly living (Manilius)
Have a great day people
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Somewhere west of the Mississippi
Posts: 224
Love it, Northern! Today is Day 13, but it's not an unlucky day. It's a very lucky day, because I was tempted tonight, and resisted. My husband and I went out for dinner. He had wine and I was really on the verge of breaking down but I thought about how disappointed he would be in me if I ordered alcohol, and decided that I really want to prove to myself that I can get my 60 day chip (30 day chip is the best I've done since I decided a few years ago that I needed to stop). So, it's kind of a silly goal, but something I need to do, if that makes any sense.
I'm still cranky and I'm still finding myself easily angered and emotionally kind of messed up, but I guess that is to be expected. Hoping this will start getting easier and that I can continue to resist those voices in my head that really want to convince me that I don't have a problem, seeing as how I'm such a high-bottom drunk.
Hugs and kudos to everyone who is doing well. I worry too about the ones that disappear and I hope we will hear from Rachel soon.
Smiley time! What will it be tonight?
<--- me on the left, alcohol on the right
<--- just 'cause I think it's silly.
I'm still cranky and I'm still finding myself easily angered and emotionally kind of messed up, but I guess that is to be expected. Hoping this will start getting easier and that I can continue to resist those voices in my head that really want to convince me that I don't have a problem, seeing as how I'm such a high-bottom drunk.
Hugs and kudos to everyone who is doing well. I worry too about the ones that disappear and I hope we will hear from Rachel soon.
Smiley time! What will it be tonight?
<--- me on the left, alcohol on the right <--- just 'cause I think it's silly.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by LauraS
My husband and I went out for dinner. He had wine and I was really on the verge of breaking down...
So far this has worked very well for me.
I'm trying to try.
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: CT
Posts: 113
Oh my gosh, our third thread! I can't keep up with you guys!
Good job, Laura! I doubt I could have resisted if someone was drinking right in front of me.
I'd write more stuff but I'm tired. I said I would go to bed at midnight. It is now 3:30am. Typical.
I made it through another 24 hours...on to day 27 I go!
Good job, Laura! I doubt I could have resisted if someone was drinking right in front of me.
I'd write more stuff but I'm tired. I said I would go to bed at midnight. It is now 3:30am. Typical.
I made it through another 24 hours...on to day 27 I go!
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Hi Marchers...
Thanks to all for the supportive comments. It has been a rough couple of days.
Mirage, thanks. I'm hoping she will someday value the support system here too.
Germanos, congrats! Keep it going!
PBC, an opportunity to represent any ministry you can support is both a blessing and an honor. His will be done. I am uncertain about post-Easter, just trying to get through today. My wife came home and we talked again. It seems she really is done; I can't blame her. I may need to bug out on this site for a while to try for a rescue. We are not a perfect match, but I oppose divorce, and believe that God will bless our union if we both are willing to change. I know I am. It's funny to find another oddball that enjoys one of the top human fears....public speaking. It's a charge like no other, isn't it? I have been blessed to be able to develop this, but my favorite opportunities have been behind the pulpit, as an elder sitting in for my vacationing pastor. This opportunity came a few times, and, had I been listening closer, would have led to seminary about 6 or 7 years ago. Oh, how times can change!
NV, please do use my sign off! Congrats on 18 days! Thanks for your support.
Stacylove, thanks for the Norman Vincent Peale quote. OK. Here's where I get honest. I was taught philosophy by Dr. Peale's son, who was another Dr. Peale (Jonathan, I think). I also managed a pizzeria in college, and employed his granddaughter, Laura. In my sophomore year, I was estranged from my parents due to years of substance abuse and my abusive attitude. I was living off campus, and stayed in town for Thanksgiving holiday. Laura asked me to join her family for Thanksgiving dinner, which included Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. I had already made a plan to put a cornish game hen in the pizza oven and drink myself silly while watching football (which, of course, I did). Plus, I was too proud to consider a mercy invite. I remember this often, as it is one of the biggest regrets of my life. He died a few years later. What a missed opportunity for a potentially life-changing event!
Here is the honest part...I am sitting next to a full glass of bourbon on ice. I haven't sipped it yet, but am very distressed about my marriage and job and future. I think it is more than I can handle. I honestly don't know what I will do. It is 3:30 am here, and I can't sleep. I am thinking that I bit off more than I can chew for my Lenten promise. I know this doesn't compare to Christ's suffering, which I am trying to honor, but I am no Christ on any level.
I think I need to heed my wife's warning, and bug off SR for a while, and get full-blast busy with work. There is also a lot of financial distress. If I do not show up here for a while, please understand, and, please pray for my family. Either way, I will be back at some future point, and will check in with the Marchers and see if there is still a seat on the bus for me.
Love to all,
Bob
Thanks to all for the supportive comments. It has been a rough couple of days.
Mirage, thanks. I'm hoping she will someday value the support system here too.
Germanos, congrats! Keep it going!
PBC, an opportunity to represent any ministry you can support is both a blessing and an honor. His will be done. I am uncertain about post-Easter, just trying to get through today. My wife came home and we talked again. It seems she really is done; I can't blame her. I may need to bug out on this site for a while to try for a rescue. We are not a perfect match, but I oppose divorce, and believe that God will bless our union if we both are willing to change. I know I am. It's funny to find another oddball that enjoys one of the top human fears....public speaking. It's a charge like no other, isn't it? I have been blessed to be able to develop this, but my favorite opportunities have been behind the pulpit, as an elder sitting in for my vacationing pastor. This opportunity came a few times, and, had I been listening closer, would have led to seminary about 6 or 7 years ago. Oh, how times can change!
NV, please do use my sign off! Congrats on 18 days! Thanks for your support.
Stacylove, thanks for the Norman Vincent Peale quote. OK. Here's where I get honest. I was taught philosophy by Dr. Peale's son, who was another Dr. Peale (Jonathan, I think). I also managed a pizzeria in college, and employed his granddaughter, Laura. In my sophomore year, I was estranged from my parents due to years of substance abuse and my abusive attitude. I was living off campus, and stayed in town for Thanksgiving holiday. Laura asked me to join her family for Thanksgiving dinner, which included Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. I had already made a plan to put a cornish game hen in the pizza oven and drink myself silly while watching football (which, of course, I did). Plus, I was too proud to consider a mercy invite. I remember this often, as it is one of the biggest regrets of my life. He died a few years later. What a missed opportunity for a potentially life-changing event!
Here is the honest part...I am sitting next to a full glass of bourbon on ice. I haven't sipped it yet, but am very distressed about my marriage and job and future. I think it is more than I can handle. I honestly don't know what I will do. It is 3:30 am here, and I can't sleep. I am thinking that I bit off more than I can chew for my Lenten promise. I know this doesn't compare to Christ's suffering, which I am trying to honor, but I am no Christ on any level.
I think I need to heed my wife's warning, and bug off SR for a while, and get full-blast busy with work. There is also a lot of financial distress. If I do not show up here for a while, please understand, and, please pray for my family. Either way, I will be back at some future point, and will check in with the Marchers and see if there is still a seat on the bus for me.
Love to all,
Bob
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Sorry...me again. One last thought: for those needing a glimpse of what is to come in their sobriety, I recommend lurking on some of the threads of folks a year, two or three ahead of us. I did that today, and the conversations were surprisingly normal! Talk of kids, daily life, and, oh yeah, every now and then recovery. Recovery can become an ingrained part of a life restored to normal. These are the toughest days. Hang in there, and Let Go and Let God.
The Winner Takes It All!!!!!
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: United Kingdom (HULL)
Posts: 230
18 days 
Hope everyone is doing well, I know its tougher for some than others, but we call all do it, and even if you fail, then it takes more courage and bravery to put it to one side admit it was a mistake and start the process again. In the end it will get easier, you will have such a better quality of life, and you will wish you did it years ago. Be stong, move forwards, appriciate the little things in life, and ultimately learn to appriciate yourself!
Hope everyone is doing well, I know its tougher for some than others, but we call all do it, and even if you fail, then it takes more courage and bravery to put it to one side admit it was a mistake and start the process again. In the end it will get easier, you will have such a better quality of life, and you will wish you did it years ago. Be stong, move forwards, appriciate the little things in life, and ultimately learn to appriciate yourself!
is really trying!
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: On the road to serenity via soberville
Posts: 236
OOH OOOH!!! I'm so excited
Day 29....
Not celebrating TOO soon though. Am going to the Europe-wide one-off screening of FooFighters documentary & new analogue album played LIVE in its ENTIRETY.
Taking my teenage boys AND a bunch of their mates, so I am allowed to go too providing I a. behave myself, b.don't drool all over Dave Grohl and above all c.DO NOT ADMIT I KNOW THEM in front of anyone.:rotfxko
Ha, I thought getting sober was tough!
Catch y'all tomorrow. Loving, peaceful, sober and TOTALLY ROCKIN' day to all x
Day 29....
Not celebrating TOO soon though. Am going to the Europe-wide one-off screening of FooFighters documentary & new analogue album played LIVE in its ENTIRETY.
Taking my teenage boys AND a bunch of their mates, so I am allowed to go too providing I a. behave myself, b.don't drool all over Dave Grohl and above all c.DO NOT ADMIT I KNOW THEM in front of anyone.:rotfxko
Ha, I thought getting sober was tough!
Catch y'all tomorrow. Loving, peaceful, sober and TOTALLY ROCKIN' day to all x
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