ViciousCycle

I went to Carrot Top in Vegas a few years back. Now I don't really care for him, I thought he would be filthy......but holy cow I almost peed my pants!!!!!! His show was quick, bright and intelligent. I actually hurt when I left! I love that stuff. Rumor had it Seinfeld might get here, but it never came to be. Things are just getting back together from the tornado that damaged our civic center......they have been working on it for months, 24 hours a day. Check out this video of the tornado:

http://thebigjshow.blogspot.com/2010...llings-mt.html

It's the first link by that guy Kyle..........what a mess it was!!! It was so sad......we lost many acts because of it!

mygrandfather

VC that video clip is amazing. Frightening, the power of nature.

MJ, I make the same kinds of arrangements in my mind...maybe a year from now, or 2 years and then I'll know it's ok because I went that long. Need to keep focus, give yourself to try something different.

Soph, hang in there, I get lonely too. We all do, drinkers and non-drinkers alike.

Long 16 miler with my group this am...runners are an odd breed.

Had a long chat with my brother today which was a nice surprise. But I really don't know what to make of his new effort to lose weight. Get ready for this: lower calorie mixers. He says he's putting on pounds because of the mixers he uses for his tequila and vodka. It's not the beer and liquor, just the mixers.

STILL grateful for my brother
Grateful to be on this journey with all of you

BoozeFree

Hello everyone!
Soph I like the post about what your grateful for!, good idea.
VC- I remember not sleeping that well at first too but it gets better. Bowling sounds fun, I havnt gone bowling in years!
MGF- 16 miles!?!? geez thats gnarly!, I would pass out or start hitch hiking for a ride the rest of the way ahah.

Lets see... what am I grateful for today? Waking up sober without a hangover, this site for sure, and my dog..
I am sooo tired btw, this past week of work really kicked my butt! I could probably sleep all weekend! however, I have a bday dinner to go to tonight but plan on sleeping when I get home and being super lazy! Yesterday I was writing in my journal a little bit about drinking and being sober and for some reason it actually made me think about wanting to drink and I thought about planning out the whole day and what I would get to drink and everything, pretty crazy! it lasted for about 10mins then I realized what a horrible idea that would be after all the work Ive been putting in into being sober and had to remind myself that I will never be able to have a drink or a couple beers.

Soph

Wonder how Better's Speaker meeting was?! Hey Better, how was it?

BF, sounds like you are dealing sensibly with irrational thoughts. Way to go! And good for you for relaxing after a tough week and taking care of yourself even if you have to go to a birthday thing.

MJ...Seinfeld is awesome! Lucky you!! I need to get more seasons, I only have one season on dvd and my son and I have watched it lots of times. It is funny still to this day. I LOVE stand up comedy! Laughing is great! Ahhh.

MG: 16 miles! Wow are you about to do a marathon?

Tonight I watched "The Prestige" another Christian Bale movie. Not sure what's happening with my weekend Bale theme but I am rolling with it. Hugh Jackman is in it too. Both are great.

Tomorrow night: Oscars! I have NOT seen King's Speech nor Black Swan. However I have seen most of the docs. Inside Job may win but Restrepo may win too. Not sure. What are you guys thinking?

Good night from your sober SR friend...(sad cas I can't find the little group hug smiley thingy I like!) will pick another one... for being here!

ReadyAndAble

Wow, that's a whole lot of gratitude, Decemberists! How great to read this.

Soph, The Machinist was strange and oddly enjoyable for me. Didn't Christian Bale get super thin for "The Fighter" this year too? I've only seen two flicks in the theater this year, Tangled and True Grit. Liked them both, actually.

VC, you sound great. Way to go. Hope you get some rest. I had trouble sleeping for a while too. Now I sleep like a baby. You'll get there.

BF, my dog is super high on my gratitude list. Thanks for reminding me!

MJ and MG, I'm jealous of both of you. Imagine if I could run 16 miles by day, and watch Seinfeld live at night!

My two cents: I think pondering future drinks can be a slippery and treacherous slope. I spent years trying to moderate, but for me it only went one direction: down. And there's no shortage of folks on SR who were sober for three months, five years, 20 years, then decided they could handle a drink now and again... and sank right back into the old cycle.

Thinking of alcohol as some kind of reward is what got me into this mess. Seems to me that running 16 miles, waking up feeling bright and happy—those are the rewards, and you're getting them right now.

My reward for the moment: I had a really great night with my daughter.

Dee74

I could have 'a glass of wine' anytime I want MJ - but I better be prepared to lose everything...and clear 2 years from my schedule....cos thats what happened last time.

High stakes.

I'm grateful today I was in the very bosom of my hard drinking family...and I didn't even have a thought of drinking

D

bettterlife4me

Hi Decemberists!

I have been reading back, and you guys have been busy!!

Had such a great time with my friend! We ended up not making the speaker meeting Fri night (we continued shopping and ate at Cheesecake Factory instead) but we did go to the women's meeting yesterday morning and it was great as usual! Friend and I talked a lot about sobriety and her journey to get where she is today - 8 yrs sober. Funny how we've been friends for so long, but now are connecting on a whole new level. I love it.

We also went shopping at consignment shops. Found a leather jacket that looks brand new for $19! WooHoo! Loves me a good bargain!

VC - sounds like you're doing great my friend! Yay!

Soph - I too have seen most of the Oscar movies except Kings Speech and Black Swan. I am going to try and squeeze in Kings Speech today.

I a so very grateful for all of you here at SR.

BoozeFree

Better- Glad you and your friend can share sobriety together now. That's way cool!! And killer deal on that jacket! I've been looking for a leather jacket.

Well Sunday is here and I must admit I might be slightly bummed bc the weekend is coming to an end and I havnt had a chance to just relax and be lazy. Today going to my dads for lunch and to chill for a bit.

As far as the oscars I'm sure I'll be watching tonight. I remember my grandma telling me how she was invited to go and went one year, she loved that stuff.

Maryjan

R&A--I needed to hear that exact thing right now. These are the rewards. I JUST sent an e-mail saying maybe my reward for stopping now is future drinks...and then I came and read your wise words. I need to enjoy my rewards right damn now. Thank you.

Another wake-up is seeing all the new members who come to SR every weekend, full of pain and shame. Just like me. I was so scared and lost, and now I feel calm and proud.

So I joined an on-line AA group and got a sponsor. We'll see how that goes. i guess I'm about at Step 4, which terrifies me. Cleaning house.

Oscars--Soph, as a mom of boys, I wish I could come over and watch with you! Last year, I set out fancy pastries and champagne for my "Oscar Party" and husband and kids were gone in about 15 minutes and I watched and drank by myself. Depressing! I used to watch with my grandmother--we'd comment on all the outfits and have a ball.

MY PICKS:
I hated Black Swan--it was campy and pointless and overacted with no soul. I didn't see King's Speech, but I bet it will win. The Social Network was impressive and I liked it, but Winter's Bone broke my heart clean open. That's the best movie I've seen in years.

I like Annette Benning, and I liked THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT, but I don't think she was stunning in that. Againb, I'd pick Jennifer Lawrence from Winter's Bone, but doubt she could win. It will probably be Natalie P, which is a shame.

Jeff B can't win again, though I loved him in True Grit. Jesse Eisenberg really was great--I will choose him.

I haven't seen RESTREPO--didn't know if I could handle it, so sad. I loved EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP, and I think it was a prank and a brilliant one. But it will never win. I am dying to see INSIDE JOB and GASLAND.

I also really want to see THE FIGHTER. What am I doing posting way too long a comment on here? I should be at the movies!

MJ

Maryjan

Dee, thank you, as always, for your wisdom.

I hope you are doing okay. I have noticed you are busy, and my thoughts are with you. You are so important to my recovery.

ViciousCycle

You guys, I just woke up from a typical 2 hour stint. That's all I can seem to muster. I am having the most bizarre dreams. I had a briefcase chained to my hand and was trying to leave some building in a hurry.....then all of a sudden, I was in my passed-away Aunt's house and she wanted the case. I was now chained to a chair......she went to shoot the chain and hit me in the stomach. I looked down and near my belly button was the end of a big old shot gun shell!!!!!! Anyway, I got away and went to the other room to tell my cousins to go upstairs and pack my bags for me and meet me at one of the hospitals. I asked them which one I should go to.....they did not understand so off I went with a friend....we had to make one stop.......I entered a building and I could not find what I was looking for so I went back out in the parking lot.........by now for some reason, the bullet was affecting my eyesight. I could not find my truck.......I started trying to hold open my eyelids.......but still could not see.....I sensed I was going to die......then I woke up........

No wonder why I can't sleep! I don't WANT to! LOL......

Is that bizarre or what????????

I need coffee........will be back later.

Good morning all.

Soph

MJ, thanks for your Oscar picks, I also saw Winter's Bone (on a plane) and it got under my skin in a big way. I wish you and any other Decemberists who wanted to could all come to my house to watch and make lots of interesting juice concoctions with seltzer! Also I bought a crock pot yesterday (VC you would be proud) and I am going to start sloow cooking stuff! So I won't be so frazzled when I get home from work every day!

VC wow, your nightmare was wild! Mine was this morning - and Gramps will relate - I was in a race but all of a sudden my legs got way, way heavy and sluggish! And I could not, for the life of me, get them to run! I was so frustrated and confused. Why were my legs not working?! (Interpretations are welcome.)

Raining here. Just did dishes with itunes cranked to Eric Hutchinson's "You don't have to believe me" which I always love to hear. It's so inspiring. Bye for now Decembers..thanks for being here!!

bettterlife4me

Dang VC - that sucks that you're not sleeping well and when you do you have nightmares.

I love dream analysis.... my first thought is that the chains may represent that you were chained to your addiction. Your aunt tried to free you from it, but she wasn't successful at freeing you because only you can free yourself. You were lost in the building, lost your truck. Maybe this represents that you are somewhat "lost" right now and looking for answers in early sobriety.

But I'm confident you will find your way and be free from the chains of addiction.

mygrandfather

Hey VC, sorry about those dreams..I have had some scary ones too lately. It's weird when I can actually hear myself breathing harder but I'm also still in the dream state.

Soph: National Marathon, March 26 here in DC!

I will be wise to remember this.

And this.

The newcomers page is such a slap of reality. And I hope so much that the folks writing in can make through those painful first days.


B4Me, BF, RA, everyone, have a great night....no Oscars for me, I am usually a year or two behind on my films.

Dee74

I'm OK MJ - this year seems to have only one speed so far - full on - but I'm doing ok, I think LOL

D

ReadyAndAble

Hey, guys. Hope you're all having a good night!

MJ, glad that made sense to you. I really want to see Winter's Bone. Thought about downloading from iTunes tonight, since I don't have a TV and can't watch the Oscars. But I'm busy redownloading my entire iTunes library, which the kind folks at Apple are letting me do after last week's hard drive failure! Yay! Such a relief. Music is a huge part of my life.

VC, that is one crazy dream! I almost never remember mine, but last week I had one where I accidentally drank alcohol. I was at a restaurant and suddenly discovered I'd been drinking without even realizing it. I was super pissed!

But after reading about your dream, I think, "Well, at least I wasn't shot..."

BoozeFree

MJ if you don't mind me asking, what's the site for the online AA group?

Well the weekend is at an end and flew by for me. When I was out at my dads earlier I had another craving hit me. It seems like I've had a few in the past week. Again today I was thinking of what I could drink and stuff but had to snap out of that thinking and glad I did. I've never been sober this long before and don't want to go back to sitting in my room drinking all day by myself. I think I need to focus more on all the positive things that I have gotten out of being sober.

Maryjan

I don't mind at all. It's called lamplighters:

Who We Are

I now have an on-line sponsor, and am looking forward to working step 4 at my own pace, with some guidance from cyber-land. The e-mails are kind of long, but it's just like a "real" AA meeting. I got a new e-mail address for the e-mails, which helps. I can log in when I like. I bet this is not a substitute for AA in person, but I like it so far. It's kind of confusing at first, so feel free to PM me with questions.

I was in a bad mood last night--couldn't get Oscars on-line (we only have a Roku box), felt exhausted and tapped out, felt that a glass of wine would elevate the night and make it more fun. But I remembered: for an hour or 2, it would. Then I'd be irritable and I still wouldn't have the Oscars. So I took a bath, and it was fine.

ViciousCycle

Good morning all!

Better, have you ever heard of Edgar Cayce? I went to a seminar on dreams at his foundation down in Virginia Beach years ago. He was an expert on dream analysis. It was so interesting. Ever since I was a child I would sit at the breakfast table and go on and on to my dad about what I dreamed about the night before.

I think the dream was about life in general, I have always had dreams of searching and being lost. I think they represent me trying to find my way in life, but I am no expert.

Soph. I think your dream represents life and its struggles....it can get heavy and slow you down and maybe that is how you feel........overloaded....????

LOL R&A, that made me laugh this morning, thanks! I have heard many, many people on this site, including myself that have those alcohol dreams. Guess it's our subconscious talking to us.

BF, when you get these cravings are any of the tired, hungry, lonely (I forgot the phrase) things going on? Are there similar triggers? Great idea to focus on the positive things. That's funny, because this morning I decided the same. I am not going to look at what I don't have. I will focus on what I DO have.

Way to hang tough on that wine, MJ. The Oscars are not worth it!!!!!!!!

GF I give you a lot of credit for all the running. You must have a plethora of endorphins! Care to share?

Nice to see you back Muppet Man and I am glad the family thing went well. Your strength is admirable.

OK, so the long-winded VC is back... (Day 7)....and she got some good sleep last night! Woot! Woot! FINALLY!

Have a great day peeps and stay strong!

ReadyAndAble

Woo hoo, VC, congrats on sailing through the weekend!

Happy Monday, everyone!