30 Days and Under -Part 4
Thanks everyone for being here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 63
Congratulations to all on your sober time. I'm on day 15, feeling very good, but So afraid of the obsessive thoughts hitting me again. I've been a chronic relapser for years, and this is the longest I've gone without a drink. I'm excited but nervous, not sure why all of a sudden the desire to drink is pretty much gone right now. Maybe it really is just a mindset, to quit drinking? A friend told me that once, she's been sober over 5 years. She just knew one day she had to quit and that was it, she was all done. Anyway, I'm feeling good, happier, excited, accomplished, and just so grateful for SR and sobriety. Thank-you all so much for the support and encouraging words!!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi undercoverangel and shevrard 
I think most folks experience is that it's not over in 12 day or a month or even 6 months....some days can be a challenge more than others, which is why it's good to be prepared for the odd pot hole or two.
If you're ready for anything, you'll be ok. There's always lots of support and advice here
D
I think most folks experience is that it's not over in 12 day or a month or even 6 months....some days can be a challenge more than others, which is why it's good to be prepared for the odd pot hole or two.
If you're ready for anything, you'll be ok. There's always lots of support and advice here
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 92
Hi Everyone. Just found this 30 day and under thread. Even after 18 days sober and being on this site, I am still stumbling around the site. lol But I have so much gratitude for the people on SR. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have met people that really understand what a person goes thru with alcoholism.
Feeling good.... although sleep is a little weird. Couldn't get enough 2 nights ago (11 hours!!) and last night 6.... I'm sure my body is just doing its thing to try to get back to health.
Have a GREAT day, everyone!
Feeling good.... although sleep is a little weird. Couldn't get enough 2 nights ago (11 hours!!) and last night 6.... I'm sure my body is just doing its thing to try to get back to health.
Have a GREAT day, everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
Kevin back again-looking for support and sympathy.
Well AAers i am presently on day 17 of sobriety. Sounds pretty bad to me. My self esteem is awful. Im awaiting on a call from the doctor now about the impact of missing 2 days anti-depression meds so that maybe it. or maybe not.
In my mind it feels like everyone is stressing on me to 'seek support ... seek support' like i am supposed to goto AA or something.
I guess thats fine but i am catastrophising this into 'if i dont goto AA or the doctor people will stop helping me' so i feel strangely pressurised to goto AA which im not sure i am ready to do.
Clearly im depressed. Also im confused.
Yesterday a book arrived i had ordered which was written by a conspiracy author david icke. I used to be really into what he had to say, you know lizards running the world and all this. Well now im sure its not good for mental health/feeds paranoia.
Was i in the last days of drinking when i ordered it or is it just old habit to die hard? I dont know. So i read bits of it and sure enough it DID make me feel a touch paranoid (It actually gave me a headache).
So I am sober but facing £188 ($310) phone bill i ran up while drunk prior to my sobriey. Also have a fungal infection where the sun dont shine so have ....
So basically im doing the same stuff day to day just not drinking. Went crazy over making a personalised mug for my grandfathers birthday a few days ago. I had to use my parents photos as i had none and ended up spending ages going through photos of 5/6 famil members.
Its not arrived yet and already its now my grandmothers birthday.
Im tired, and depressed. Sober but not feeling the benefits in any real way and worrying when my health related benefits will be cut.
The thought of being forced back to work now what i want.
Well AAers i am presently on day 17 of sobriety. Sounds pretty bad to me. My self esteem is awful. Im awaiting on a call from the doctor now about the impact of missing 2 days anti-depression meds so that maybe it. or maybe not.
In my mind it feels like everyone is stressing on me to 'seek support ... seek support' like i am supposed to goto AA or something.
I guess thats fine but i am catastrophising this into 'if i dont goto AA or the doctor people will stop helping me' so i feel strangely pressurised to goto AA which im not sure i am ready to do.
Clearly im depressed. Also im confused.
Yesterday a book arrived i had ordered which was written by a conspiracy author david icke. I used to be really into what he had to say, you know lizards running the world and all this. Well now im sure its not good for mental health/feeds paranoia.
Was i in the last days of drinking when i ordered it or is it just old habit to die hard? I dont know. So i read bits of it and sure enough it DID make me feel a touch paranoid (It actually gave me a headache).
So I am sober but facing £188 ($310) phone bill i ran up while drunk prior to my sobriey. Also have a fungal infection where the sun dont shine so have ....
So basically im doing the same stuff day to day just not drinking. Went crazy over making a personalised mug for my grandfathers birthday a few days ago. I had to use my parents photos as i had none and ended up spending ages going through photos of 5/6 famil members.
Its not arrived yet and already its now my grandmothers birthday.
Im tired, and depressed. Sober but not feeling the benefits in any real way and worrying when my health related benefits will be cut.
The thought of being forced back to work now what i want.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
Hello boys and girls -
Leo here, working on day numero one, but thats ok I guess.
I'm feeling very uplifted because I just made it through the most intense part of the day (lunch) and was successful. Yippeeee!! LOL
Just remembeing to play it through.......people, places, things.......HALT......don't let it get out of control.......stay within my ownself......pray!!!
Mornings are no biggie and neither is afternoon, evenings. It's just that darned ole noon hour that calls my name.
Leo here, working on day numero one, but thats ok I guess.
I'm feeling very uplifted because I just made it through the most intense part of the day (lunch) and was successful. Yippeeee!! LOL
Just remembeing to play it through.......people, places, things.......HALT......don't let it get out of control.......stay within my ownself......pray!!!
Mornings are no biggie and neither is afternoon, evenings. It's just that darned ole noon hour that calls my name.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
I think instead of adding (not that adding would hurt anything), it was a subtraction that caused it. Letting down my guard. After all those months I began to feel more confident and that one day I just got too confident. "I'm stressed because of X situation so I can have one to chill out."
That one causes another. Then after a few days I think I'm normal and can do what normal people can. So, I think in my mind it's ok and have a few during lunch time. Gradually the days begin to string along and I realize that I'm falling into the same pattern that caused destruction in the first place.
I was guilty of handling my situation poorly, rationalizing and romantacizing alcohol. It claims to be that constant old friend who is always there when things go wrong. Yes, it's always there, but definitely NOT a friend. Makes sense? LOL
That one causes another. Then after a few days I think I'm normal and can do what normal people can. So, I think in my mind it's ok and have a few during lunch time. Gradually the days begin to string along and I realize that I'm falling into the same pattern that caused destruction in the first place.
I was guilty of handling my situation poorly, rationalizing and romantacizing alcohol. It claims to be that constant old friend who is always there when things go wrong. Yes, it's always there, but definitely NOT a friend. Makes sense? LOL
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
Day 18-Good day. Managed to sell a old 3DVD boxset on ebay. I was bummed out incase my 10 items didn't sell costing me £2 in listing fees but hurrah that boxset netted around £4.40 profit-weeeee
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
I hope you'll keep this time in mind if you get the thoughts again Leo.
I used to fall at that hurdle myself for 20 years or so.
Accepting - really fundamentally accepting - I was an alcoholic and that every time I drank the results would always be the same, sooner or later...that really helped me move forward
D
I used to fall at that hurdle myself for 20 years or so.
Accepting - really fundamentally accepting - I was an alcoholic and that every time I drank the results would always be the same, sooner or later...that really helped me move forward
D
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