Class of December 2010 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Sea Tac
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by Maryjan 
Booze Free, I am going to go to my first meeting this week. Let's do it & check back with each other?
I had a dream last night that I was at a work party and I just drank a beer (I don't even like beer!) and I was so confused and disappointed in myself. It felt like it was out of my control and I bet that's how relapses happen...scary.
Sleepy, it's still December. Can you stop quitting quitting in a few days and join us again? I hope so...you are the first poster!
I had a dream last night that I was at a work party and I just drank a beer (I don't even like beer!) and I was so confused and disappointed in myself. It felt like it was out of my control and I bet that's how relapses happen...scary.
Sleepy, it's still December. Can you stop quitting quitting in a few days and join us again? I hope so...you are the first poster!
I'm going to my first meeting also...Thursday or Sunday. Lets check back in with our experiences maybe! I want to go Thursday but my family wants to have a get together at the same time, so we will see.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 29
Wow, there are a lot of people in the class of December! I'm only on day 4, but it being over the holidays has made it more difficult, as I know you can relate. I am not wanting to drink at all, but my anxiety is pretty high. It is helpful to read all of your posts!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 21
maisy, I've found some meetings VERY helpful, and other ones that were so depressing they almost made me want to drink.
Each group seems a little different.
The trick I think is to check out a few and find one that 'fits' with people that you can really relate to.
I don't know about where you are, but around here they have some that are 'womens only' meetiings.
You might find one of them more comfortable to attend?
4 days is great!
I blew it over Christmas myself.
Each group seems a little different.
The trick I think is to check out a few and find one that 'fits' with people that you can really relate to.
I don't know about where you are, but around here they have some that are 'womens only' meetiings.
You might find one of them more comfortable to attend?
4 days is great!
I blew it over Christmas myself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: The "beltway"
Posts: 785
Originally Posted by maisy
Is anyone else afraid of the meetings thing? I am simply afraid to go. I guess it is shame, the unknown, and definitely not wanting to run into anyone I know.
One last bit, for me whatever shame I might feel at a group meeting can't possibly be worse than waking up clad only in my boxers sitting on a lazyboy in my sisters living room with my nephew pulling my hair and then realizing I had wet the sleeper sofa in the basement. yeech...I want those days to fade away forever. My neice and nephew need an uncle they can look up to.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Originally Posted by maisy
Is anyone else afraid of the meetings thing? I am simply afraid to go. I guess it is shame, the unknown, and definitely not wanting to run into anyone I know.
In my experience with the handful of meetings I've been to I was always a little nervous and stuff at first but once I got in the room and sat down I felt much better knowing I was just with a bunch of people struggling with the same problem. My issue with AA is that the meetings around here seem to be like highschool cliques and just stuck with the people they knew so I felt like an outsider. That's why I keep giving up on AA but stuck thinking I do need something like that. Posting and reading here on SR has def been a huge help the past 12 days for me.
Well today's day 13. Still so tired and no energy and I went to sleep at like 7:30 last night! I got some news yesterday that one of my dogs will be getting put down this morning bc of a stroke at her old age. My first thought when I got the news yesterday morning was I can't deal with this I need a drink. This is the first loss I am having to deal with sober and I don't know what to do with this sad feeling so it's just kinda here since drinking can no longer be an option.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 384
BF - I am so sorry to hear about your dog. Sounds like she lived to a ripe old age, but still - that is one of the hardest things to deal with. But as you know, drinking will not make it better, only worse. You can honor her with sober thoughts of the time you shared together.
I have heard so many mixed AA reviews, not only on SR but from friends who have attended meetings, I don't think it's for me. Having said that - I realize AA had saved many lives and commend them for that, and who knows I could wind up there someday - never say never.
I am going to check out a face-to-face with a therapist and see how that goes. I realize that isn't an option for everyone though.
Day # 27 here! It's a miracle! YAY to the class of December!
I have heard so many mixed AA reviews, not only on SR but from friends who have attended meetings, I don't think it's for me. Having said that - I realize AA had saved many lives and commend them for that, and who knows I could wind up there someday - never say never.
I am going to check out a face-to-face with a therapist and see how that goes. I realize that isn't an option for everyone though.
Day # 27 here! It's a miracle! YAY to the class of December!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 21
I am so glad I didn't drink yesterday.
When they say this a proggressive disease, they sure weren't kidding.
Ive been on and off, again and again and lately I really notice that the effect of picking up that first drink is immediate and very swift.
Once I take that first drink, there is no control whatsoever and I will polish off enough that would likley put a 'normie' into a comma. In a very short time period.
It's long ago ceased being anything of a 'social' ritual. Its a lock the doors with a good supply and drink till its all gone session. No longer any fun.
Plus, things seem to be getting very strange now when I start drinking. Too strange.
The thing I find most shocking.. is that there is no longer even an brief attempt at controlling or limiting the intake. I know exactly what I am doing, and know exactly how it will turn out. I also know exactly how much I don't even want to drink, yet I still do it.
I'm glad I stayed sober yesterday, I'll do the same today, and tommorow will be dealt with when it gets here.
When they say this a proggressive disease, they sure weren't kidding.
Ive been on and off, again and again and lately I really notice that the effect of picking up that first drink is immediate and very swift.
Once I take that first drink, there is no control whatsoever and I will polish off enough that would likley put a 'normie' into a comma. In a very short time period.
It's long ago ceased being anything of a 'social' ritual. Its a lock the doors with a good supply and drink till its all gone session. No longer any fun.
Plus, things seem to be getting very strange now when I start drinking. Too strange.
The thing I find most shocking.. is that there is no longer even an brief attempt at controlling or limiting the intake. I know exactly what I am doing, and know exactly how it will turn out. I also know exactly how much I don't even want to drink, yet I still do it.
I'm glad I stayed sober yesterday, I'll do the same today, and tommorow will be dealt with when it gets here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hey, Richard, I know that feeling all too well. The only choice I have is whether to take that first drink. The first sip, really. The moment that happens, all bets are off. It took me a long time to realize that, and once I did, my immediate reaction was pretty much the same as yours. To just turn off the phone, shut down my email, and dive right in. Total, absolute surrender.
But in a way that makes things really simple for me now: All I have to do is to not have that first drink today.
Somewhere on this site I saw someone has a Robert Downey Jr. quote as their signature. It goes something like, "Sometimes I think about having a glass of wine. Then I remember I have plans for Christmas."
I think that's really funny -- and incredibly true for me. If I drink that that first glass, I'm not just surrendering the rest of the night, but probably the next week, month, year—maybe my whole life.
Anyway, congrats on yesterday!
But in a way that makes things really simple for me now: All I have to do is to not have that first drink today.
Somewhere on this site I saw someone has a Robert Downey Jr. quote as their signature. It goes something like, "Sometimes I think about having a glass of wine. Then I remember I have plans for Christmas."
I think that's really funny -- and incredibly true for me. If I drink that that first glass, I'm not just surrendering the rest of the night, but probably the next week, month, year—maybe my whole life.
Anyway, congrats on yesterday!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Alright I am back again, I better make it stick since I started this thread. As usual I mess it up and someone else takes over. I have to go see my counselor today. I haven't been doing any of the exercises I'm supposed to when I feel like drinking. I like your avatar Puddles. Thank you to those who've imparted kind words, and VC and Dee especially. It's very kind and it means a lot.
perpetual optimist
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 2,959
Maybe so Sleepie, but carnivals are fun! 
I remember seeing that Robert Downey quote too, R&A.....it's a good one for sure. That guy has been to hell and back, ha?
BF, sorry about your doggie. I put a cat down about 10 years ago and if I talk alot about it, I still get weepy. I went in with him and the first shot did not take....I went through it twice. I was a mess. The vet gave me a big hug after and I remember one thing as clear as yesterday, he never let go till I did.......I will always remember that. Sniff....
Glad to hear everyone is doing well and staying with the fight, no matter if it's every other day, the main thing is staying in it.
So what do you guys think about my New Year's avatar? Screams volumes, doesn't it?
Read in the paper today about the increased DUI task force getting ready to be out there from Friday afternoon till the day following New Years. I feel warm and fuzzy knowing I could care less, I will be tucked away in my cozy home, safe and sober!!
I remember seeing that Robert Downey quote too, R&A.....it's a good one for sure. That guy has been to hell and back, ha?
BF, sorry about your doggie. I put a cat down about 10 years ago and if I talk alot about it, I still get weepy. I went in with him and the first shot did not take....I went through it twice. I was a mess. The vet gave me a big hug after and I remember one thing as clear as yesterday, he never let go till I did.......I will always remember that. Sniff....
Glad to hear everyone is doing well and staying with the fight, no matter if it's every other day, the main thing is staying in it.
So what do you guys think about my New Year's avatar? Screams volumes, doesn't it?
Read in the paper today about the increased DUI task force getting ready to be out there from Friday afternoon till the day following New Years. I feel warm and fuzzy knowing I could care less, I will be tucked away in my cozy home, safe and sober!!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
I love carnivals too sleepie - it's great to have you back
Good to see you hanging in there too Richard mate
I'm really sorry about your dog BF - it's never easy to deal with, no matter who you are - but at least they're not in pain anymore
.
I've had a few sad days since I got sober and the revelation to me is how I get through the sadness....it's a natural process....I used to try and drink it away and that just impeded the process of getting to terms with my grief.
your avatar disturbs me VC
D
Good to see you hanging in there too Richard mate
I'm really sorry about your dog BF - it's never easy to deal with, no matter who you are - but at least they're not in pain anymore
.I've had a few sad days since I got sober and the revelation to me is how I get through the sadness....it's a natural process....I used to try and drink it away and that just impeded the process of getting to terms with my grief.
your avatar disturbs me VC
D
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