Whiners Anonymous...Part 48
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
SarahDoll - I agree with Toronto, Fands & Least - you are about to start a great new adventure & do not need drama or distractions. Your friend didn't mind making you wait until she was good & ready to resume the friendship, so you don't need to be hasty in accepting her back into your life. I'm glad, though, that she sees how foolish it was to end things because you spoke the truth trying to help her. She must have come to realize that. Maybe write a letter to her with your feelings explained - with the idea of sending it when the time is right (maybe you'll never send it, but you'll have your thoughts written down & that always helps).
Least - same here. In the 20's with WIND, and tomorrow snow showers.
Fandy - Dogs are fine now - I think it was a new type of biscuit they didn't digest well.
Happy Hump Day all.
Least - same here. In the 20's with WIND, and tomorrow snow showers.
Fandy - Dogs are fine now - I think it was a new type of biscuit they didn't digest well.
Happy Hump Day all.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
yes may we all enjoy HUMPING today....it is now up to 24 degrees and no wind! i even got a fairly good parking space and an elevator today....i am craving SALT and lots of it this morning? perhaps i need a salt lick like people leave for the deer?
what kind of a dog cookie upsets the tummy of a mastiff?
what kind of a dog cookie upsets the tummy of a mastiff?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
IMHO Sarah ~
I think we all know what being in a relationship with an addict is like; especially the denial that goes along with it.
It sounds like at the time you confronted your friend about her fiance she was in denial (and/or wrapped up in codependency issues).
Maybe it took this long for her to realize that she couldn't fix him or maybe she just had her moment of clarity.
Did they ever get married? If not, are they still together?
What did she want to "make up" for? That you were right in warning her a year ago?
I think it takes a stronger person to not pooh-pooh on someone because they pooh-pooh'ed on you...especially if they did it while blinded by denial or codependency issues.
We know what addiction does to people.
If she was once a core person in your life, is it better for her to be nothing now?
You could be honest with her, let her know how hurt you were and that it affected your trust in the friendship.
The friendship will obviously never be what it was. But it could turn out to be better in a different way. You've both grown.
The job sounds awesome! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!
One word...BOUNDARIES.
Set them with this person if you choose to allow her back into your life.
And if you decide to speak to her, remember...you can be assertive without needing to be aggressive to get your point across.
No need in you getting upset. She has to earn your trust back if you allow her to.
Godspeed, my friend.
I think we all know what being in a relationship with an addict is like; especially the denial that goes along with it.
It sounds like at the time you confronted your friend about her fiance she was in denial (and/or wrapped up in codependency issues).
Maybe it took this long for her to realize that she couldn't fix him or maybe she just had her moment of clarity.
Did they ever get married? If not, are they still together?
What did she want to "make up" for? That you were right in warning her a year ago?
I think it takes a stronger person to not pooh-pooh on someone because they pooh-pooh'ed on you...especially if they did it while blinded by denial or codependency issues.
We know what addiction does to people.
If she was once a core person in your life, is it better for her to be nothing now?
You could be honest with her, let her know how hurt you were and that it affected your trust in the friendship.
The friendship will obviously never be what it was. But it could turn out to be better in a different way. You've both grown.
The job sounds awesome! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!
One word...BOUNDARIES.
Set them with this person if you choose to allow her back into your life.
And if you decide to speak to her, remember...you can be assertive without needing to be aggressive to get your point across.
No need in you getting upset. She has to earn your trust back if you allow her to.
Godspeed, my friend.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,908
Provolone, like mozzarella, is a pulled or stretched curd cheese. It's very tasty. 
I just found this...
Provolone is the beautiful cheese you often see strung up with twine and hung from the ceiling of Italian food shops. But what is it? Imagine Mozzarella – with a much fuller flavour.
Like Mozzarella, Provolone comes from the family of pasta filata cheeses. Italian for “spun paste,” pasta filata cheeses are pulled-curd cheeses mixed with heated whey, then kneaded and stretched to a wonderfully pliable consistency.
So what makes Provolone different from other pasta filata cheeses like Mozzarella or Caciocavallo? Aging ability.
Molded into fanciful shapes, wrapped up in cords, and hung to ripen, Provolone develops an oily, golden brown rind. As it ages, the cheese becomes richer in yellow colour, firmer in texture, and more pronounced in flavour.
I just found this...
Provolone is the beautiful cheese you often see strung up with twine and hung from the ceiling of Italian food shops. But what is it? Imagine Mozzarella – with a much fuller flavour.
Like Mozzarella, Provolone comes from the family of pasta filata cheeses. Italian for “spun paste,” pasta filata cheeses are pulled-curd cheeses mixed with heated whey, then kneaded and stretched to a wonderfully pliable consistency.
So what makes Provolone different from other pasta filata cheeses like Mozzarella or Caciocavallo? Aging ability.
Molded into fanciful shapes, wrapped up in cords, and hung to ripen, Provolone develops an oily, golden brown rind. As it ages, the cheese becomes richer in yellow colour, firmer in texture, and more pronounced in flavour.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
and Suki spelled it right too!!! thanks, it is a much more complete explanation, regularly used in sub sandwiches with ham and salami, never used to clean the toilet....on to our next favorite holiday food.....
Proscuitto!!!! (it is the closest thing to eating delicious bacon without cooking it, sliced very thin...served with melon or the above cheese).....loaded with bad things, but ooooh sooo good!..(and mad-expensive).just ask Hevyn's mastiff!
it warmed up to 27 today!!! what a treat.....now i want some cheese instead of vegetables.
Proscuitto!!!! (it is the closest thing to eating delicious bacon without cooking it, sliced very thin...served with melon or the above cheese).....loaded with bad things, but ooooh sooo good!..(and mad-expensive).just ask Hevyn's mastiff!
it warmed up to 27 today!!! what a treat.....now i want some cheese instead of vegetables.
Sounds nice. I just love cheese, I should of been a mouse.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Sara, I think everyone has given you good advice. Lay low, let your heart settle and then decide.
LTT, I remember last year, a bunch of us were making lewd comments about that smilie...'nuf said....
I'm still having probs remembering who said what...but I wanted to comment that I'm sorry ?, that the counseling isn't working well. You sound very calm though and not surprised.
Otherwise, one daughter in today...one tomorrow....let the games begin....
LTT, I remember last year, a bunch of us were making lewd comments about that smilie...'nuf said....
I'm still having probs remembering who said what...but I wanted to comment that I'm sorry ?, that the counseling isn't working well. You sound very calm though and not surprised.
Otherwise, one daughter in today...one tomorrow....let the games begin....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: AA Rooms
Posts: 268
Good moaning all,
ty for the kind support. Brief update, AA pal told me not to give up on it just yet, that she went through phases of loving and hating her SO but they are still together. Said go even if it only helps to finalise things. This lady has not steered me wrong so far and was one of the major contributing factors in achieving some sort of solid sober thinking. So we'll see. Lot's of communication going on which was the major issue in the previous days for me, so we shall see.
LTT, I think it was you, I also got lost about who said what, so many whinderful posts. The smilie thing used to happen to me and my comp would crash. You need to download a 64 bit version of your browser.
The cheese, a fuller tasting version of mozarella, OH MY, yes, any doubt that there is a God, has just been expelled from my mind.
Lots of good advice Sarah Doll, look after yourself first, cause if ya don't, you can't look after anyone else. High Fivin ya on your success.
Whiners, thank you for making my day, everyday, the humour and compassion I see here, well I am grateful for it.
Good night from a cold and damp Dublin with a cold and damp economy and a cold and ..... I could go on
God bless y'all
ty for the kind support. Brief update, AA pal told me not to give up on it just yet, that she went through phases of loving and hating her SO but they are still together. Said go even if it only helps to finalise things. This lady has not steered me wrong so far and was one of the major contributing factors in achieving some sort of solid sober thinking. So we'll see. Lot's of communication going on which was the major issue in the previous days for me, so we shall see.
LTT, I think it was you, I also got lost about who said what, so many whinderful posts. The smilie thing used to happen to me and my comp would crash. You need to download a 64 bit version of your browser.
The cheese, a fuller tasting version of mozarella, OH MY, yes, any doubt that there is a God, has just been expelled from my mind.
Lots of good advice Sarah Doll, look after yourself first, cause if ya don't, you can't look after anyone else. High Fivin ya on your success.
Whiners, thank you for making my day, everyday, the humour and compassion I see here, well I am grateful for it.
Good night from a cold and damp Dublin with a cold and damp economy and a cold and ..... I could go on
God bless y'all
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
ebay fiasco update
practicing the Patience Acceptance and Tolerance bit
the PAT Program
and it payed off,
instead of self-willing the hell out of it,
and creating more problems!
heard back,
and a lovely women she is,
as it turned out, the lost orny's went to a flea market friend in Yonkers,
and ta boot, i have hers sitting in a box right next to me! (what a dope)
Ms Yonkers will send the orny's off to the lady,
and i will bring hers along when i see her sunday at a show.
wa-la!
let go, let HP
practicing the Patience Acceptance and Tolerance bit
the PAT Program
and it payed off,
instead of self-willing the hell out of it,
and creating more problems!
heard back,
and a lovely women she is,
as it turned out, the lost orny's went to a flea market friend in Yonkers,
and ta boot, i have hers sitting in a box right next to me! (what a dope)
Ms Yonkers will send the orny's off to the lady,
and i will bring hers along when i see her sunday at a show.
wa-la!
let go, let HP
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
All's well that ends well, Zipperman. Now see, nice begets nice. You were nice and it came back to you. It's all good.
I am whineless in Florida but trying to line up a boat guide to take me to some out islands and manatee and dolphin watching and there will be major whining if we don't have calm seas on Friday.
Until then I shall cheer you whiners on.
I am whineless in Florida but trying to line up a boat guide to take me to some out islands and manatee and dolphin watching and there will be major whining if we don't have calm seas on Friday.
Until then I shall cheer you whiners on.
bona fido dog-lover
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I have no whines at present cause I feel so gosh darn good! Had a good tho busy day. Took dk to the store and she bought me some yummy cheese rolls. Got money in the mail bringing me closer to the amount needed to clean LDD's teeth. And bless dear Morning Glory for increasing the smilie limit to five!!
Thank you MG!
Had a good tho busy day. Took dk to the store and she bought me some yummy cheese rolls. Got money in the mail bringing me closer to the amount needed to clean LDD's teeth. And bless dear Morning Glory for increasing the smilie limit to five!! Thank you MG!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 316
We were talking about cheese and I missed it? But cheese is one of my favorite things! I love everything-- cheddar, pepper jack, brie, goat cheese, provolone, swiss, gouda... I have never encountered a cheese I don't like. This sounds ridiculous, but when I quit drinking I also quit buying cheese on a regular basis. I had a nightly routine of drinking rum and coke and eating string cheese. (Feel free to laugh at that, I do too!) Eliminating my nightly cheese binges helped me lose weight and save money. I still enjoy it very much, I just don't eat it constantly! Cheese supposedly contains a bit of morphine. People who are prone to addiction can find a lot of comfort and happiness in eating it excessively.
..you there Dee ?? 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 238
Ozzy, that picture is scary and beautiful at the same time…kinda cool.
Toronto, you are very wise. I really appreciated you (and Least and Fandy) reminding me to be kind to myself and self-preservation should be first. I am definitely like you and am prone to questioning myself and worrying about if she’s wondering what the hold up is. You were right on in thinking dealing with the situation will take more feelings than I can afford. I came to the same conclusion you (and everyone else did), I need to put her off for a while. I was operating under the assumption this friendship was over and it’s going to take some time to shift that and then decide if I even want to deal with it.
Least, I’m not sure why she picked now to try and make amends. I’m wondering if she’s pregnant and wants me to celebrate with her. She’s in her early 30’s and has wanted children for a while but was waiting for the right guy. I’m suspicious about the timing to be perfectly honest.
HB, yes, they are still together and did get married. I don’t know if she had any realizations that I was right, she didn’t say. All I know is that I’m with you: BOUNDARIES! If I was right and things are not going well, I am not the person to help clean up the emotional mess.
Thank you all for taking time to respond to my little problem. I’ve been fretting over it today and then I came here and saw you all had responded so kindly and I felt loved. I really needed that.
RZ, good luck on that developing patience, acceptance, and tolerance thing. When you have it all figured out, you can give us pointers.
I love cheese, too! Cheese lovers of the world unite! Gouda is my favorite.
Toronto, you are very wise. I really appreciated you (and Least and Fandy) reminding me to be kind to myself and self-preservation should be first. I am definitely like you and am prone to questioning myself and worrying about if she’s wondering what the hold up is. You were right on in thinking dealing with the situation will take more feelings than I can afford. I came to the same conclusion you (and everyone else did), I need to put her off for a while. I was operating under the assumption this friendship was over and it’s going to take some time to shift that and then decide if I even want to deal with it.
Least, I’m not sure why she picked now to try and make amends. I’m wondering if she’s pregnant and wants me to celebrate with her. She’s in her early 30’s and has wanted children for a while but was waiting for the right guy. I’m suspicious about the timing to be perfectly honest.
HB, yes, they are still together and did get married. I don’t know if she had any realizations that I was right, she didn’t say. All I know is that I’m with you: BOUNDARIES! If I was right and things are not going well, I am not the person to help clean up the emotional mess.
Thank you all for taking time to respond to my little problem. I’ve been fretting over it today and then I came here and saw you all had responded so kindly and I felt loved. I really needed that.
RZ, good luck on that developing patience, acceptance, and tolerance thing. When you have it all figured out, you can give us pointers.
I love cheese, too! Cheese lovers of the world unite! Gouda is my favorite.
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