alexvt

TJ you have 3 kids, wow no wonder you drank. I AM JK. Did you get another Au Pair? I am sure you mentioned all of this but you are dealing with alcoholic brain syndrome here.
So PR on tonight. I hate the tall female know it all designer, and I like the Michael that everyone says can't sew.

Think I am going to get flu shot today OH Joy.

Have a good day everyone.

DAY 31

traderjane

Yep, I have an au pair, but I honestly don't know if I can afford one next year. I won't go into details, but I'm looking at the options. She is here until next July.

Oh good, yes I don't like her either (Gretchen - such a know it all!) I have a few episodes to catch up on. We watch it "On Demand" and not live.

I got my flu shot a couple of weeks ago, and I survived

Yep, there have been times when my 3 kids have been out of control and I have said to myself, "NO WONDER I DRINK!!!" But regardless of that, drinking didn't make anything better and, of course, in the end made everything much much worse.

I'm having a very strange unproductive day. I spent about an hour trying to pick out clothes that looked good for work today. Finally settled on a outfit, which was black dress pants and a purple cotton cardigan with a tank top underneath. But when I went outside, it was like 100 degrees out and I was dying. Hot, cranky, miserable. So I went into work, and was still hot cranky and miserable and could not concentrate. So I decided to print out some files I needed and go home. I was missing my dog, too. I came home and got on shorts, tank top and flip flops, had some Starbucks iced coffee and am getting to work at home. Honestly I just feel like taking a nap at this point, but I do need to work. What a day so far. I also spilled a whole diet pepsi on myself at lunch. Ugh.

But everything is good and I can now re-start the day even though it's mid-day. I'm home, which is where I want to be these days! I love being home. I'll check in later on today.

alexvt

I feel you on the grumpy day TJ. I feel like a hamster on a wheel today. Stubbed my toe a second ago on coffee table. My daughter is being difficult today. I feel like I want to jump out of my skin. Can't seem to get it together today. Baby is napping now so I am going to try to regroup. I had a passing thought of wine but my mind shifted quickly. I hate it when my mind goes there.

I started to worry about daylight savings time, will my baby go to bed earlier and wake up earlier, god I hope not! I can barely get to bed by midnight and she gets up around 6:30am. Not getting enough sleep as it is. If I go to bed any earlier I will have no time at all to myself. Oh well just venting.

Hope your day gets better TJ.

alexvt

Oh and another thing TJ, isn't it weird having someone from another country living with you? I don't know I am just the kind of person who wouldn't feel comfortable. Although with 3 kids I would probably make the sacrifice. lol

traderjane

I am definitely a hamster on a wheel today and cannot get any actual work done. It's like I have writer's block, only I'm not a writer! I have a mental block for sure and don't know why. The gods have planned that I'm going to have an unproductive day, so you know what? I'm just going to go with it and regroup tomorrow. Every day has a different energy and tomorrow will have a different vibe than today. As long as I can get 8 hours of work in between now and Monday, I'll be okay.

My daughter just smashed her toe on the bedroom door and was screaming bloody hell! Don't you hate that? I have been helping her ice her toe. As I came home early today, she has been enjoying having me home with her. She told me that she likes it when I'm home. I like it, too.

So about the au pair -- I was a little nervous about that, too. Having someone in your house and in particular, someone from another country/culture. My first au pair was from Brazil. That was very interesting and I learned so much from her about Brazil. This one's from Germany. In the end, as long as you click as people the different country thing doesn't matter. And it's cool seeing this country through the eyes of someone who has never been here. I like having an au pair, but it is an expensive option for me. I have to look at all options for the coming year (starting July 2011).

In a little while I'm going to the gym with my daughter. I'm giving up on work today. I have an idea... maybe I could get up really early tomorrow and work before the kids get up? Just an idea. Then again, I love to sleep too much....

alexvt

As long as we don't drink, tomorrow is another chance to get done what we couldn't do today!
Amen!

alexvt

Hey Lyddie, Jasper and HFA I hope you guys are well

alexvt

Dee have good evening/night.

Dee74

Thanks Beth

D

angelnz

I do feel like I am intruding but I have been reading what you have been writing and you all fill me with hope and laughter in a lot of your responses. I am on day four and doing great. Not sure whether that is good or bad! Still terrified as I have lost so much but not willing to go back to the horrible person tht comes out of the bottle. Please keep your wonderful dialogue going.

Dee74

Welcome to SR angelnz
congratulations on your day 4 - I hope you'll stick around

D

angelnz

That is certainly my intention! It will be great to have people to talk to and to listen to. Like others my drinking has isolated me but no more and just getting this response from you has made it not seem so lonely thanks. I am doing great just crying a lot guess that will pass although I do feel like a bit of a sap! It does feel good to feel things and not reach for a drink to make the feeling go away. All my thoughts are positive just got to move on and get my life to the place I know it can be. Look forward to being part of your community.

Dee74

not saying you can't post here - wherever you feel comfy - but we also have a September group if you're interested, Angel

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2010-a-8.html

D

alexvt

Hey Angelnz sorry to get back to you so late was trying to watch tv, but I have no attention span for it. You are so welcome here! Never intruding! Glad to have you.

Day 4 is awesome!!! It's a great start! You will start feeling a lot better usually by day 7. You should be really proud of yourself especially if you did it all alone.

If you feel a connection to the June group stay and chat with us. It helps us all to help each other. So looking forward to finding out more about you.

alexvt

Hey Good Morning TJ,Lyddie,Jasper,Dee,HFA,and Angelnz What up?

Nothing going on over here.


Day 32

Dee74

waking up....lol
D

alexvt

Hey all hows is it going? TJ how are you today? Is it day 8 or 9 TJ? I know this is about the time you start getting the itch to drink so try your best to overcome it. You have less that 1 week to make it to your personal best of 15 days! I am here all night.

So i got a copy of my transcripts from last school and I had a 3.0 GPA. (B average) I got accepted into school but would have had to take a placement test to show where I was and may have had to pay to take classes over. So this is great. I don't start till spring.
Fall semester had already started when I applied.

I also applied for a student loan so I don't have to rely on X. They help pay for some living expenses too. So if I could bartend a few days a month at my old place, plus child support, plus school loan. I may be able to live pretty decently in ATL. So I am thinking I will get 1 semester of school out of the way. Save some money here and there and aim to move next summer. It's nice to have a plan. Oh and I was also thinking DD and I could vacation here in CA when I move. That way X can see her for 1 week or 2 in summers. Plus he would always be welcome in my home.

I got my flu shot today. Didn't hurt but now its a little sore. I think DD got a kick out of it since she wasn't on the receiving end of the shots this time. LOL! I swear she had a twinkle in her eye when she was watching me get it.

So thats all the news for me today, overall its been a wonderful day so far.

alexvt

Hey TJ I am sorry it's DAY 11 for you! Congrats!!!

traderjane

Hey Beth, you were right the first time. It's day 9

Actually, to be exact, according to my iPhone, 8 days, 21 hours, 11 minutes, 48 seconds.. LOL.

I went on a field trip today with my older son. It was close to 100 degrees here today - very, very hot. And it was an outdoor trip to a nature center. To be honest, I had a great time and love hanging with the kids. I sat with them with my brown bag lunch and chatted with them all and it was great.

My daughter has been having some issues with her science class and some mean boys in gym and was crying tonight that she missed elementary school. It's so hard growing up. I help her the best I can and fortunately I have the math/science background to be able to help her with tricks and things for the science class. They are actually studying physics in 6th grade which I think is a little ridiculous.

Then I had an afternoon meeting with my youngest son's teacher and au pair to discuss the homework situation and his situation in general. Don't want to bore you with the details, but it was a helpful meeting.

I am completely wiped out, it's 8:00ish pm and all I want to do is take a hot bubble bath, hang out with my dog and watch some TV. So that's what I'm going to do. The rest of the chores and work can wait til tomorrow. I have had a long and draining day.

Hey welcome Angel.. of course you are welcome here! Glad you have enjoyed reading our posts. Sometimes they end up like rants, LOL, but I think it helps us to get it out there. At least for me and Beth

Beth, I think that's a good plan. I, too, like having a plan for my life over the next several months, even year. It helps me feel grounded and calm. I hope it works out well.

Oh I did have a passing random thought about wine today (Beth, you know me too well.) It was of course at that witching hour time of day 4:00 ish and I just wanted to escape myself for a little while... thought about a nice cold glass of vino, then remembered the hell it put me through the last time I had some. I just kept going and the thought went away. Those cravings are kind of annoying, but I'm beginning to get stronger in the way I deal with them.

Hope everyone is doing well this evening/night/morning...

alexvt

Thank God TJ was getting nervous not hearing from you earlier. Sent some prayers your way. How did I get day 11? Must have read the date wrong when I went back to check. We all know Math isn't my strong point. lol Although I did get a B in it last time I was in college (1994) also a B in English..Ha alcohol has really fried my brain!

So only 6 more days to go! You so have this!! I think After you get there you'll just breakfree..

Sounds like you had a very long day. Enjoy your night. You've def earned it.