Members with less than 2 weeks-Welcome! Part 13
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 32
Hi all 
this is my 2nd attempt in the less than two weeks thread. I hope you'll welcome me back. Its my day 3 and I am feeling tired but not terrible. What is different this time is that I talked to my husband about me quitting and also am planning attending AA this week (though not today because I have work/school from 8AM-9PM).
this is my 2nd attempt in the less than two weeks thread. I hope you'll welcome me back. Its my day 3 and I am feeling tired but not terrible. What is different this time is that I talked to my husband about me quitting and also am planning attending AA this week (though not today because I have work/school from 8AM-9PM).
Peace, No More Guilt 9/28/2010
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: MI
Posts: 194
Originally Posted by GingerTea 
Hi all this is my 2nd attempt in the less than two weeks thread. I hope you'll welcome me back. Its my day 3 and I am feeling tired but not terrible. What is different this time is that I talked to my husband about me quitting and also am planning attending AA this week (though not today because I have work/school from 8AM-9PM).
this is my 2nd attempt in the less than two weeks thread. I hope you'll welcome me back. Its my day 3 and I am feeling tired but not terrible. What is different this time is that I talked to my husband about me quitting and also am planning attending AA this week (though not today because I have work/school from 8AM-9PM).
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
meblonde.....way to go on your early sobriety....
You most likely are feeling healthier by now..yes?
Very quickly...I noticed physical improvements
my eyes were sparkly again...skin color not palid
my hair lost it's dull look.
My first sober "treat" ...was a new hair cut ...
You most likely are feeling healthier by now..yes?
Very quickly...I noticed physical improvements
my eyes were sparkly again...skin color not palid
my hair lost it's dull look.
My first sober "treat" ...was a new hair cut ...
Emp
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 12
Hi everyone, this is my first post on this forum. I don' know why. I've been coming here for months ... I suppose that I knew if I signed up I'd be admitting I had a problem.
So anyway, here I am, blah blah poor me, like everyone else - 500mg paracetamol/15mg to 30mg codeine (when I could get the 30s. You call them T3 right? Well, over here in Aus they're Panadeine Fort. Meh, tomatoes tomatoes. Hmm, that expression doesn't really work in the written format. Never mind.
So, I'm on day 6 of cold turkey from anywhere up to 50 pills a day. Fortunately for me (and unlike many of you) my body only really threatened to murder me on day three and four. Day five I began to feel alive again, and today (day 6) ... actually today I feel a little bit worse than yesterday, but i think that's psychological because i just had a massive fight with my wife last night. See, this is the second time I've withdrawn.
I have an agonising jaw problem which gives me constant head-aches etc. Codeine was the only thing that made it feel alright. Etc etc. I got addicted for three years. I finally admitted I was addicted, and my wife helped me withdraw, taking five days of work for both of us. I stayed sober for three months and relapsed, hitting the pills twice as hard as I'd ever done before, now here I am, two years later (and being emotional as we are when detoxing from opiates) I confessed to my wife that I'd been lying to her for the passed two years. She tried to be supportive, but because she battles with depression, I can tell the betrayal hurt her badly. Anyway, we had a big fight, and now here I am feeling like a massive turd-burger ... and wanting to use. BADLY. I live in a small town, so I can't go to any of the three pharmacies here ... but there is another town 30mins down the road ... I could get some there (over the counter here in Aus). Besides, my jaw is KILLING me.
But I have to be totally honest with you ... I didn't JUST take em for the physical pain. I took 'em to block out the emotional pain. Now that im 'clean' ... all the $hit I failed to deal with five years ago is coming back. Like the fact that my family (all of them but my wife [meaning parents, siblings, grandparents, nephews nieces, cousins etc.) are all trapped in some f**king christian cult that wont allow them to have ANY contact with people that've left. Yeah, my own mother would walk passed me in the street, after years of not seeing me, and say nothing.
Then I read this:
"I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears." - Melblonde
And I feel like bursting into tears, because I sought the LORD too, and He heard me too, And then he chewed me up and spat me out, tore everyone I ever loved away from me and pulled down his pants and did the big fat first $hit of a codeine withdrawal on my face.
Nah - a loving God wouldn't do that. And that's why I know longer believe in him. Guess I'm a heathen. So be it. See I just don't get it, When asked people asked Jesus why he healed people (on the sabath etc) Jesus answered simply, 'Because I want to.' See, he supposedly had the power to fix people, to make them well again and he did it freely, he didn't care what people thought of him, he rose up and saved lives where ever her could - why? Because he 'wanted to'. Now, "God" who is supposed to be the same dude (basically) sees vastly more suffering going on around the world RIGHT NOW than Jesus ever did. Man, I'd love to ask him, 'why wont you heal the sick and make them better?' And his response would be what?: 'Because I don't want to.'
Oh but wait, yeah, mysterious ways and all that. That's cool God, you keep working in your mysterious ways, we'll just keep on dying down here until your done being mysterious and maybe THEN you'll find it in you heart to stop children in africa from dying from aids. Maybe THEN you'll stop women from being raped in the streets. Maybe then 'you'll want to'.
And someone here is going to say, 'Oh but man sinned against God in the Garden of Eden, and Satan in his little red panties said to God, "Oh they can make it on there own without you." And God said, "No they can't." To which Satan said "Yes they can!" God, "No!" Satan, "YES" "NO" "YES" "NO" "YES" "FINE,' God at last says, as he slaps a twenty dollar bill on the table. "I'll make you a bet that they can't survive without me." Satan licks his lips and says, "Double or nothing holy Father."
So, while we're all living in torment, it's on account of some divine bet. This God, that is supposed to be raised so high above us ... is a betting man.
Now please, for eff's sake ... can ANYONE reconcile the differences between the Jesus character and the God character? Cos frankly, the two just don't seem to gel.
Wow, jeez, what a ripper of a first post. $hit, I've probably already made a half million enemies with that one ... "Get out your pitch forks, we'll chase the beast out of town".
But hey, cut me some slack, the last five years have been a living nightmare on account of 'God'. People use that cute little black book to gain themselves power, and it works. Wars have been fought because of that book. Families destroyed. All the bloodshed ... heh, how long can anyone be expected to justify the killings in His name eh?
Anyway, back on topic. My wife is a doctor. Yay for me. That means she has a prescription pad and wrote me up a controlled script of Diazepam (Valium). So, at least I can sleep at night. Last time i went through withdrawals, that was the worst part. The inability to sleep, the twitching. Eugh! Anyway, last time I used to have to get totally wasted on booz if I was to have any hope of getting to sleep. And, no, alcohol is NOT easy to keep down when you're withdrawing. But hey, I could handle it cos i was a borderline alcoholic as well (yay for me). I don't drink through the day anymore. But I still can't go a single night without four or five beers. Naturally, quiting this at the same time as codeine has made the insomnia even worse, so even with three to four Diazepam a couple of hours before bed, im STILL finding it hard to sleep, twitching and bouncing my legs all over the place. God damn I hate this crap.
Good news is, the pooing wasn't as bad as i remembered it to be last time. I mean, sure it was totally liquid, but only a few times during the day ... not every twenty minutes. But maybe that's because I'm not eating anything. That would make sense.
Anyway, I began this message with a problem. I want to use. Now. I have money in my wallet, and access to a pharmacy where they sell 500mg/15mg. Take 12 of those, I'll be in my happy place, especially after 6 days of withdrawal. My questions are these:
1. A lot, and I mean a LOT, of you peeps seem to have found peace in 'the Lord' (hopefully not of the rings ... or of the Flies). And you all seems to say that constant contact with Daddy G up stairs helps to keep you grounded and in line. Some of you even say, that you couldn't do it without him. So my question is, how the hell does someone like me stay clean when (i) I don't believe God, and (ii) if I did believe in him I don't think I like him very much? Others stress spirituality ... which to me is just a fancy way of saying 'worshipping the universe' which is still God, only without the big white beard and the sandals. So take out God, and take out spirituality, or chi, or karma, or magic, or any of that other stuff that no one can prove exists but still believe in because of the fact that it's been passed down through the generations from the same kinds of people that thought the earth was flat and that cats were mystical portals to the Godly realm. Take all that stuff out of it and what do you have? What stops me getting up right now and eating a box of C? I mean, you guys think you've got the meaner version of Santa Clause watching over and judging your every move. I don't have that. I know I can eat a box and get away with it.
2. If I DO decide to eat a box, just once, after six days of withdrawal (with me beginning to feel pretty good again now) will it send me back to the beginning, as though I hadn't withdrawn at all and I'll have to go through another five days of hell? Yes I know I know, you're all about to say DON'T DO IT, you won't be able to stop at one box! But I'm asking theoretically. It it were possible for a human being to withdraw for six days, treat themselves to a box, and then have NO MORE, would the withdrawals return? Would there be side-effects?
Disclaimer: I actually do hope that I've not offended anyone to badly here. I do NOT have a problem with people that believe in God. I have a problem with God in general, whether he's real or not. If you can find peace in him then I am so truly and completely happy for you. I wish I could find peace in something myself.
Wishing you all good health
Emp
So anyway, here I am, blah blah poor me, like everyone else - 500mg paracetamol/15mg to 30mg codeine (when I could get the 30s. You call them T3 right? Well, over here in Aus they're Panadeine Fort. Meh, tomatoes tomatoes. Hmm, that expression doesn't really work in the written format. Never mind.
So, I'm on day 6 of cold turkey from anywhere up to 50 pills a day. Fortunately for me (and unlike many of you) my body only really threatened to murder me on day three and four. Day five I began to feel alive again, and today (day 6) ... actually today I feel a little bit worse than yesterday, but i think that's psychological because i just had a massive fight with my wife last night. See, this is the second time I've withdrawn.
I have an agonising jaw problem which gives me constant head-aches etc. Codeine was the only thing that made it feel alright. Etc etc. I got addicted for three years. I finally admitted I was addicted, and my wife helped me withdraw, taking five days of work for both of us. I stayed sober for three months and relapsed, hitting the pills twice as hard as I'd ever done before, now here I am, two years later (and being emotional as we are when detoxing from opiates) I confessed to my wife that I'd been lying to her for the passed two years. She tried to be supportive, but because she battles with depression, I can tell the betrayal hurt her badly. Anyway, we had a big fight, and now here I am feeling like a massive turd-burger ... and wanting to use. BADLY. I live in a small town, so I can't go to any of the three pharmacies here ... but there is another town 30mins down the road ... I could get some there (over the counter here in Aus). Besides, my jaw is KILLING me.
But I have to be totally honest with you ... I didn't JUST take em for the physical pain. I took 'em to block out the emotional pain. Now that im 'clean' ... all the $hit I failed to deal with five years ago is coming back. Like the fact that my family (all of them but my wife [meaning parents, siblings, grandparents, nephews nieces, cousins etc.) are all trapped in some f**king christian cult that wont allow them to have ANY contact with people that've left. Yeah, my own mother would walk passed me in the street, after years of not seeing me, and say nothing.
Then I read this:
"I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears." - Melblonde
And I feel like bursting into tears, because I sought the LORD too, and He heard me too, And then he chewed me up and spat me out, tore everyone I ever loved away from me and pulled down his pants and did the big fat first $hit of a codeine withdrawal on my face.
Nah - a loving God wouldn't do that. And that's why I know longer believe in him. Guess I'm a heathen. So be it. See I just don't get it, When asked people asked Jesus why he healed people (on the sabath etc) Jesus answered simply, 'Because I want to.' See, he supposedly had the power to fix people, to make them well again and he did it freely, he didn't care what people thought of him, he rose up and saved lives where ever her could - why? Because he 'wanted to'. Now, "God" who is supposed to be the same dude (basically) sees vastly more suffering going on around the world RIGHT NOW than Jesus ever did. Man, I'd love to ask him, 'why wont you heal the sick and make them better?' And his response would be what?: 'Because I don't want to.'
Oh but wait, yeah, mysterious ways and all that. That's cool God, you keep working in your mysterious ways, we'll just keep on dying down here until your done being mysterious and maybe THEN you'll find it in you heart to stop children in africa from dying from aids. Maybe THEN you'll stop women from being raped in the streets. Maybe then 'you'll want to'.
And someone here is going to say, 'Oh but man sinned against God in the Garden of Eden, and Satan in his little red panties said to God, "Oh they can make it on there own without you." And God said, "No they can't." To which Satan said "Yes they can!" God, "No!" Satan, "YES" "NO" "YES" "NO" "YES" "FINE,' God at last says, as he slaps a twenty dollar bill on the table. "I'll make you a bet that they can't survive without me." Satan licks his lips and says, "Double or nothing holy Father."
So, while we're all living in torment, it's on account of some divine bet. This God, that is supposed to be raised so high above us ... is a betting man.
Now please, for eff's sake ... can ANYONE reconcile the differences between the Jesus character and the God character? Cos frankly, the two just don't seem to gel.
Wow, jeez, what a ripper of a first post. $hit, I've probably already made a half million enemies with that one ... "Get out your pitch forks, we'll chase the beast out of town".
But hey, cut me some slack, the last five years have been a living nightmare on account of 'God'. People use that cute little black book to gain themselves power, and it works. Wars have been fought because of that book. Families destroyed. All the bloodshed ... heh, how long can anyone be expected to justify the killings in His name eh?
Anyway, back on topic. My wife is a doctor. Yay for me. That means she has a prescription pad and wrote me up a controlled script of Diazepam (Valium). So, at least I can sleep at night. Last time i went through withdrawals, that was the worst part. The inability to sleep, the twitching. Eugh! Anyway, last time I used to have to get totally wasted on booz if I was to have any hope of getting to sleep. And, no, alcohol is NOT easy to keep down when you're withdrawing. But hey, I could handle it cos i was a borderline alcoholic as well (yay for me). I don't drink through the day anymore. But I still can't go a single night without four or five beers. Naturally, quiting this at the same time as codeine has made the insomnia even worse, so even with three to four Diazepam a couple of hours before bed, im STILL finding it hard to sleep, twitching and bouncing my legs all over the place. God damn I hate this crap.
Good news is, the pooing wasn't as bad as i remembered it to be last time. I mean, sure it was totally liquid, but only a few times during the day ... not every twenty minutes. But maybe that's because I'm not eating anything. That would make sense.
Anyway, I began this message with a problem. I want to use. Now. I have money in my wallet, and access to a pharmacy where they sell 500mg/15mg. Take 12 of those, I'll be in my happy place, especially after 6 days of withdrawal. My questions are these:
1. A lot, and I mean a LOT, of you peeps seem to have found peace in 'the Lord' (hopefully not of the rings ... or of the Flies). And you all seems to say that constant contact with Daddy G up stairs helps to keep you grounded and in line. Some of you even say, that you couldn't do it without him. So my question is, how the hell does someone like me stay clean when (i) I don't believe God, and (ii) if I did believe in him I don't think I like him very much? Others stress spirituality ... which to me is just a fancy way of saying 'worshipping the universe' which is still God, only without the big white beard and the sandals. So take out God, and take out spirituality, or chi, or karma, or magic, or any of that other stuff that no one can prove exists but still believe in because of the fact that it's been passed down through the generations from the same kinds of people that thought the earth was flat and that cats were mystical portals to the Godly realm. Take all that stuff out of it and what do you have? What stops me getting up right now and eating a box of C? I mean, you guys think you've got the meaner version of Santa Clause watching over and judging your every move. I don't have that. I know I can eat a box and get away with it.
2. If I DO decide to eat a box, just once, after six days of withdrawal (with me beginning to feel pretty good again now) will it send me back to the beginning, as though I hadn't withdrawn at all and I'll have to go through another five days of hell? Yes I know I know, you're all about to say DON'T DO IT, you won't be able to stop at one box! But I'm asking theoretically. It it were possible for a human being to withdraw for six days, treat themselves to a box, and then have NO MORE, would the withdrawals return? Would there be side-effects?
Disclaimer: I actually do hope that I've not offended anyone to badly here. I do NOT have a problem with people that believe in God. I have a problem with God in general, whether he's real or not. If you can find peace in him then I am so truly and completely happy for you. I wish I could find peace in something myself.
Wishing you all good health
Emp
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Anthem, AZ
Posts: 29
Empathetic
I am a Christian father and husband. I understand why you don't believe in God, and may even curse him.
God is not responsible for the suffering in the world. Mankind is. Satan is. Satan in the form of narcissism, greed, hedonism and solipsism. Satan in the form of self-loathing. Faith begins with divine revelation and it's different for everyone. Live for something outside of yourself...live for a life partner or a child.
God is always reaching out to YOU. Quiet the voices in your head long enough to hear God's.
I am a Christian father and husband. I understand why you don't believe in God, and may even curse him.
God is not responsible for the suffering in the world. Mankind is. Satan is. Satan in the form of narcissism, greed, hedonism and solipsism. Satan in the form of self-loathing. Faith begins with divine revelation and it's different for everyone. Live for something outside of yourself...live for a life partner or a child.
God is always reaching out to YOU. Quiet the voices in your head long enough to hear God's.
Emp
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 12
Thanks Bellerophon. I know your reply was heartfelt, and don't think it goes unappreciated. It's just that I spent eighteen years of my life pursuing God. (I was born into the religion, third generation). But you ask the wrong questions and they kick you out on your arse. They never seem to like it when you question the ethos of their past. Hell, I don't know maybe I'm just pissed at the religion I was in, not God. But damn, if you check throughout history some real crap has happened in his name (whether is be Alah, Yahweh, Jesus, or Jehovah). And if Satan is the course of all suffering, then why doesn't God just reach out his divine hand and crush the maggot? Oh yeah, cos at the end of the day he has a score to settle at our expense. I don't curse God, I just don't believe (if he exists) that he could be as bigger dick as everyone makes him out to be. I've come to three conclusions:
1. God doesn't exist - In which case nothing we can say or do in our lives will change squat. We'll just die, and that scares a lot of people and of course that makes them cling to any old dude in a robe that gives them hope.
2. God does exist, in the biblical sense - In which case he displays the worst of human attributes (jealousy) and makes bets with Satan (eg. what happened to Job, what happened in the garden of Eden) and kills babies (eg. that whole Egyptian thing where they had to smear blood on their doors so that the angels wouldn't murder their children). He asks Abraham to kill his only son ... as a test ... what kind of sick joke is that? If he's omnipotent, surely he'd have known Abraham was loyal and he needn't have been so cruel. Oh yeah, and Lott ... god bless him, offering up his own daughters to be raped by the townsfolk, on account of two angels that could've just struck the lot of them down with a wave of their hands. Yeah, if the bible God is the real God, damn, I just don't see what there is to like about him. Oh yeah, and some religions still bless those going off to fight in wars, as if God is on THEIR side ... but of course God must be blessing the other side too .. so hey, maybe he just gets off on murder.
3. There is a greater spirt being(s) that created us, but it didn't write the bible, it's just the work of man - and if that's the case, well yay for us cos we might get life after death. But in this scenario we've been given know instructions on how to survive this life and so we can't very well be held accountable for our actions cos we just don't know God.
I don't know which of the three is the better option. Frankly they all suck.
1. God doesn't exist - In which case nothing we can say or do in our lives will change squat. We'll just die, and that scares a lot of people and of course that makes them cling to any old dude in a robe that gives them hope.
2. God does exist, in the biblical sense - In which case he displays the worst of human attributes (jealousy) and makes bets with Satan (eg. what happened to Job, what happened in the garden of Eden) and kills babies (eg. that whole Egyptian thing where they had to smear blood on their doors so that the angels wouldn't murder their children). He asks Abraham to kill his only son ... as a test ... what kind of sick joke is that? If he's omnipotent, surely he'd have known Abraham was loyal and he needn't have been so cruel. Oh yeah, and Lott ... god bless him, offering up his own daughters to be raped by the townsfolk, on account of two angels that could've just struck the lot of them down with a wave of their hands. Yeah, if the bible God is the real God, damn, I just don't see what there is to like about him. Oh yeah, and some religions still bless those going off to fight in wars, as if God is on THEIR side ... but of course God must be blessing the other side too .. so hey, maybe he just gets off on murder.
3. There is a greater spirt being(s) that created us, but it didn't write the bible, it's just the work of man - and if that's the case, well yay for us cos we might get life after death. But in this scenario we've been given know instructions on how to survive this life and so we can't very well be held accountable for our actions cos we just don't know God.
I don't know which of the three is the better option. Frankly they all suck.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi Empathetic
Welcome.
Those are heady thoughts for a first post
I'm a christian now but I wasn't when I started this sobriety thing - I know many atheists who have gotten clean and sober too - it needn't be a dealbreaker
Have you consulted a doctor about your situation yet - the addiction and the pain?
There are many alternatives for support if the idea of 12 step programmes bugs you - SMART comes to mind - admittedly you may not find a meeting near you, but they have a lot of stuff online
http://smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au/
D
Welcome.
Those are heady thoughts for a first post
I'm a christian now but I wasn't when I started this sobriety thing - I know many atheists who have gotten clean and sober too - it needn't be a dealbreaker
Have you consulted a doctor about your situation yet - the addiction and the pain?
There are many alternatives for support if the idea of 12 step programmes bugs you - SMART comes to mind - admittedly you may not find a meeting near you, but they have a lot of stuff online
http://smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au/
D
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Empathetic......Welcome to our Daily Support thread.....
I have no idea about de toxing from the drugs you use.
Since your wife is a doctor...and is now aware that
you went back.....she would be the one to assist you.
All my best to both of you
I have no idea about de toxing from the drugs you use.
Since your wife is a doctor...and is now aware that
you went back.....she would be the one to assist you.
All my best to both of you
Emp
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi Empathetic
Those are heady thoughts for a first post
Those are heady thoughts for a first post
And thanks for the welcome everyone!!!!! It's much appreciated. I think reading these posts is the only thing that allowed me to make it to day 6. Tomorrow I can say 1 week, and looking forward to being able to do so.
Thanks for all the support that you probably didn't even know you were giving. And im sure there's plenty more out there just like me, who have been reading, but not speaking. You help us all, I'm sure.
ps: Once again, I plead that I haven't offended any Christians. I realise that I can at times be offensive. It's a bad quality of mine I think. And the worst thing is I'm like it in real life too (by that I mean, face to face), but I guess at least I can admit it. Look, I stress again, I DO NOT have a problem with Christians or those that have faith in any form of God. I respect you for what works for you and what brings you peace. My point was (and I guess i really did go way too far in explaining my lack of belief) was that I don't believe, and so where do I draw such strength?
pps: I'm not an Atheist ... at least, I don't identify as one. An Atheist would deny God's existence. I don't deny the existence of anything. I just know of what is in the world around me, of everything else I'm uncertain. When God pops up and says "G'day Emp, hows tricks?" Than I'll believe. Likewise, I believe in Chemistry and the ways in which molecules form, because I have seen proof through the close inspection of cells and their behaviour, and the theories behind electron sharing between atoms.
Hmmm, it's like when I lost my faith I decided to start with a fresh slate. I decided, rather than believing everything my parents and elders had ever told me, I would start at the beginning. The sky was blue. The grass was green. I learnt why colour exists (or rather why it does not [cos it's just light being absorbed in different ways by different carbon chains]) But the point is, I started fresh. I believe in the things that I learn about and can prove to myself to a degree suitable enough that I can accept it for myself. So far I can not prove to myself that God exists. If others have, I'm bloody happy for them. My rant was in no way meant to be degrading to anyone, I was just explaining MY situation!
God Bless (Irony intended) ,
Emp
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
As you well know......humans have been trying for centuries to
prove or disprove the existance of God.
Some of those call themselves Agnostics.
..others are scientist. ....others are whatever..
I was not at all offended when you shared your thoughts
I'm not here to judge/challenge your perception of religious matters.
Do you have a plan on how to stay clean and sober?
Is your de tox time coming to an end?
I know you have been reading our site...perhaps
you have not seen or Substance Abuse Forum
and in another Forum
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...r-connections/
they have a lists of secular recovery programs as a sticky.
Last edited by CarolD; 10-05-2010 at 03:46 AM. Reason: Added Link
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 36
Hi there. Welcome Emp. I consider myself Agnostic. It's not an easy thing to talk about. I guess because I live in such a place where I feel in the minority. People don't ask if you believe in God, they just ask what church you go to.
I grew up going to church a lot. I was the only member of my family that did. I sang in the choir and truly felt a connection and deep love for Jesus in my life.
After my mum died when I was 12 I got even more devout. Then the week 5 years later that my dad suddenly dropped dead I lost my faith. That was a long time ago and I don't feel angry with God or anyone about anything. I just feel like there is nothing there.
I respect the support that people get from religion. It's just not something I can believe in anymore.
So anyway I'm here for the same reason everyone else is. To get healthy and stop lying to myself.
I grew up going to church a lot. I was the only member of my family that did. I sang in the choir and truly felt a connection and deep love for Jesus in my life.
After my mum died when I was 12 I got even more devout. Then the week 5 years later that my dad suddenly dropped dead I lost my faith. That was a long time ago and I don't feel angry with God or anyone about anything. I just feel like there is nothing there.
I respect the support that people get from religion. It's just not something I can believe in anymore.
So anyway I'm here for the same reason everyone else is. To get healthy and stop lying to myself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Anthem, AZ
Posts: 29
Empathetic,
There are a lot of questionable and problematic and downright detestable things in the Bible. The more I read it the less I believe. The more important things are Jesus and divine revelation. While the Bible was written by man (and "God Inspired"), most of what is important to us is in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Call it expert witness and testimony to the birth, life, crucification and resurrection of Christ. While some of Jesus' words sound like the babblings of an old Jewish rabbi (he was), at the end of the day his words rule our Christian life today. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
I would suggest you stop looking for truth in religeon, it won't be there. We are too human to understand the truth of God. What we can do is love ourselves and others and spread Jesus' message so that others too may know Him. By these very things, we grow the Kingdom of Christ so that there will be more people in Heaven.
And if at the end of the day, we're all a bunch of delusional cultists the world will be made better than without us.
Satan is the animal in you that seeks his own comfort, pleasure and satisfaction. God is the thinker and spiritual you that will walk away from your inner animal.
Have a courageous day!
There are a lot of questionable and problematic and downright detestable things in the Bible. The more I read it the less I believe. The more important things are Jesus and divine revelation. While the Bible was written by man (and "God Inspired"), most of what is important to us is in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Call it expert witness and testimony to the birth, life, crucification and resurrection of Christ. While some of Jesus' words sound like the babblings of an old Jewish rabbi (he was), at the end of the day his words rule our Christian life today. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
I would suggest you stop looking for truth in religeon, it won't be there. We are too human to understand the truth of God. What we can do is love ourselves and others and spread Jesus' message so that others too may know Him. By these very things, we grow the Kingdom of Christ so that there will be more people in Heaven.
And if at the end of the day, we're all a bunch of delusional cultists the world will be made better than without us.
Satan is the animal in you that seeks his own comfort, pleasure and satisfaction. God is the thinker and spiritual you that will walk away from your inner animal.
Have a courageous day!
Emp
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Bellerophon
I would suggest you stop looking for truth in religeon, it won't be there. We are too human to understand the truth of God. What we can do is love ourselves and others ...
But hey, here I am, and a very wise person (my wife) once told me 'The only thing worse than being on a wrong course, is continuing on that course once you've realised it's wrong'.
So I'll fix my physical self, then I'll fix my emotional self, then I'll contemplate my spiritual self.
One last thing (and this goes out to all of you), I don't know why I spent so long being silent here. Man, actually talking to you guys has made a difference that I could not have imagined.
THANK YOU ALL
Emp
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by K8E
I respect the support that people get from religion. It's just not something I can believe in anymore.
Anyway, thanks for your imput. Like I said, I respect Christians and anyone of any faith, but perhaps selfishly, it's also nice to know I'm not alone.
Emp
Emp
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by CarolD
Do you have a plan on how to stay clean and sober?
Is your de tox time coming to an end?
Is your de tox time coming to an end?
Wish me luck everyone.
ps. Fortunately I shouldn't suffer too bad withdrawals cos after six days most of it should have been out of my system, so I should be able to set off where I left off. I'll be stronger this time. Thanks for the support.
Emp
Justwannalive
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 22
Hi All,
I'm on day 2. This is about the 25th time I've quit so I can't say definitively that this is it but something weird happened last week. I saw the dentist and on the way out he said "Take care of yourself... please" which felt odd. Even his staff commented on it.
After reading here about certain odors that drinkers give off and I guess there is a certain look that alkies have it certainly felt like he knew what my problem was.
Just spending time on this site is giving me great optimism. I'm not religious and AA didn't click. I went to a few Lifering (secular) meetings but I think meetings are just not for me. Just reading about what others are going through/have gone through is extremely helpful.
Thanks for being here. Looking forward to day 3!
I'm on day 2. This is about the 25th time I've quit so I can't say definitively that this is it but something weird happened last week. I saw the dentist and on the way out he said "Take care of yourself... please" which felt odd. Even his staff commented on it.
After reading here about certain odors that drinkers give off and I guess there is a certain look that alkies have it certainly felt like he knew what my problem was.
Just spending time on this site is giving me great optimism. I'm not religious and AA didn't click. I went to a few Lifering (secular) meetings but I think meetings are just not for me. Just reading about what others are going through/have gone through is extremely helpful.
Thanks for being here. Looking forward to day 3!
Peace, No More Guilt 9/28/2010
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: MI
Posts: 194
I feel it is a choice to believe or not.. I choose to believe without proof.. that simple, just as those that choose not to.. I beleived in God when I was drunk.. I didn't believe in God to get me sober.. I had to do that..
Day 6 gone working on 7..
However you get there God or not.. YOU are the one that has to do it.. Nobody else..
Day 6 gone working on 7..
However you get there God or not.. YOU are the one that has to do it.. Nobody else..
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