Class of April 2010 - Part 3
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by unbrokenchain 
I like the way you put that, "Recovery for me (I believe it is different for every person) is about lifestyle change..."
Seriously, that is the way I view it too. Not a change in degree but in a change in the TYPE of person you once were on the ground level.
For me that's the only WAY. Everything from the past had to be discarded
and I had to be in limbo for a while and sometimes out of the KNOW to get
to some level of who I am now which is a non drinker and increasingly
a health FREAK. High on heath. High on the wonderful feelings I'm having internally as I clean my WHOLE body. Life is AMAZING. There is no need to ever waste away again and though troubles are many, one need not let them stress one out and make problems in one's life. Stress is natural, it need not cause one to feel bad and resort to past crutches when there are rational
approaches that are more rewarding and make it actually fun to work thru.
.
Seriously, that is the way I view it too. Not a change in degree but in a change in the TYPE of person you once were on the ground level.
For me that's the only WAY. Everything from the past had to be discarded
and I had to be in limbo for a while and sometimes out of the KNOW to get
to some level of who I am now which is a non drinker and increasingly
a health FREAK. High on heath. High on the wonderful feelings I'm having internally as I clean my WHOLE body. Life is AMAZING. There is no need to ever waste away again and though troubles are many, one need not let them stress one out and make problems in one's life. Stress is natural, it need not cause one to feel bad and resort to past crutches when there are rational
approaches that are more rewarding and make it actually fun to work thru.
.
What you've described about lifestyle change; " Not in a degree but in the TYPE of person you once were on the ground level "
That's becoming more clear to me , as my goal also, in recovery.
Mentally, I still feel even more grateful for sobriety as the weeks and months go by; ....since the possibilities I was just unable to imagine in the past, now give me a sort of calm assurance that the future will be alright.
And physically, I'm turning into a bit of a fitness freak, (diet and excersize wise)
My general plan is to commit enough time and effort to get my mind and body strong enough to successfully persue some long abandoned ideas and goals. Never been the patient type, but will do "whatever it takes" going forward to change my "WHOLE body" in the process.
About your personal tragedy so young....,
I've had some difficult and tragic things happen around me in my life, .....but it's hard to imagine how confused and isolated, with such a sense of loss; I would've felt if something, so out of one's control, had happened to me at 27 as happened to you overseas.
It's a blessing you have more perspective on it now.
Stay Strong, ....and thanks for the powerful message.
.
Last edited by topspin; 08-25-2010 at 05:58 PM. Reason: punct. ?!?
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Hi everyone. I've been following the posts as usual and am doing well the past few days. MyGray, big Happy Birthday to you! Topspin and Kim, always a joy reading your posts & glad to see you are both doing well. UBC, thank you for sharing your recent experience (you did the right thing calling them) and thanks also for telling us about your experience with your ex-girlfriend's family -- I'm really sorry you had to go through that. Topspin and UBC, I also see what you mean about taking more photos . . . I've taken hundreds in the past few months, far more than I had in the past years. UBC and Kim, I definitely agree that teaching has similar qualities to service work . . . at least that's what I tell myself when I look at my paycheck. 
I wish I had more time to write right now but I mainly popped on to share something with you guys I just found in one of my old diaries. (I rarely look at them.) This was written when I was 19 (a decade ago), admittedly in response to something that was very traumatizing, but it was still eye-opening to see it in my own handwriting with the date: "I've had 3 heavy handed gin & tonics and it's put me at a safe distance from my emotions-which is f'ed up" (I used the full word). So not only was I drinking to deal with life 10 years ago, but I also knew that it was unhealthy then. I wanted to post this to you guys here to share, and to keep myself accountable. Some say the past is just the past . . . but what Faulkner said has its truth too: "The past isn't dead. It isn't even past." This problem is part of who I am, for better or worse, and it's my job to keep myself in the better side of things as best I can.
Have a good night/day, everybody.
I wish I had more time to write right now but I mainly popped on to share something with you guys I just found in one of my old diaries. (I rarely look at them.) This was written when I was 19 (a decade ago), admittedly in response to something that was very traumatizing, but it was still eye-opening to see it in my own handwriting with the date: "I've had 3 heavy handed gin & tonics and it's put me at a safe distance from my emotions-which is f'ed up" (I used the full word). So not only was I drinking to deal with life 10 years ago, but I also knew that it was unhealthy then. I wanted to post this to you guys here to share, and to keep myself accountable. Some say the past is just the past . . . but what Faulkner said has its truth too: "The past isn't dead. It isn't even past." This problem is part of who I am, for better or worse, and it's my job to keep myself in the better side of things as best I can.
Have a good night/day, everybody.
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Originally Posted by unbrokenchain
From this day on, I won't let anything or anyone make me sad or worried.
I endeavor to try my best at everything I do the best I know how with the talents given to me and if they aren't good enough and people complain or I run into cow shite I will not be offended or downcast instead I will seek to
find out logically why they occurred and if it were any fault of mine I will take measures to rectify them in the future. That is all one can do.
I endeavor to try my best at everything I do the best I know how with the talents given to me and if they aren't good enough and people complain or I run into cow shite I will not be offended or downcast instead I will seek to
find out logically why they occurred and if it were any fault of mine I will take measures to rectify them in the future. That is all one can do.
Nice post AG. Prob good you found those diaries. Isn't it interesting to see those perspectives? Interesting saying about the past too. I hope the past can influence the now for the better, while some of it can be left behind tho.
Top - You are so inspiring. I really mean that. You have truly influenced my life brother.
Hope everyone is doing well.
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It's a worthwhile aim to try and live this way in my book UBC
I'm not sure I could live without being sad or worried or unaffected by others...I learn things from my bad days too LOL....and as bad as my past has been, I learn and grow from that too - it's another coat of varnish on who I am and what I believe today....
I do find it easier to keep an even keel and a more consistent perspective about other people and other things as I grow older tho
D
I endeavor to try my best at everything I do the best I know how with the talents given to me
I do find it easier to keep an even keel and a more consistent perspective about other people and other things as I grow older tho
D
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
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Saturday Night and Back To a New Work Week!! What a relief , .....most every week.
This morning my nephew stopped by and was 'crackishly" pacing around my place waiting for a call about some weed. After some time talking (asking questions mostly), I began to understand (and could relate to ) just how dark and meaningless he's come to view life.
Thank goodness our library has computers , ...so it really helped to stop by and read this thread and another around noon. Almost like;....... starting the day over !
Took off for a longer (28 mi) ride out on the toll road for the second day on my "new" used road bike. Guaranteed stress reliever !
An old friend stopped by this afternoon before work who's battled alcohol (plus) the 25 years I've known him. Off and on, mostly "on". Past several months, definitely ON! Hopefully he can finally find a more permanent solution soon. As selfish as it sounds, sometimes a good "bad example" of how devastating alcohol abuse can be; .....really makes me even more grateful for this new life of sobriety and a recovery program. .....it's been that kind of day.
A day for counting simple blessings.
Hope you guys are having a great weekend so far !!
.
This morning my nephew stopped by and was 'crackishly" pacing around my place waiting for a call about some weed. After some time talking (asking questions mostly), I began to understand (and could relate to ) just how dark and meaningless he's come to view life.
Thank goodness our library has computers , ...so it really helped to stop by and read this thread and another around noon. Almost like;....... starting the day over !
Took off for a longer (28 mi) ride out on the toll road for the second day on my "new" used road bike. Guaranteed stress reliever !
An old friend stopped by this afternoon before work who's battled alcohol (plus) the 25 years I've known him. Off and on, mostly "on". Past several months, definitely ON! Hopefully he can finally find a more permanent solution soon. As selfish as it sounds, sometimes a good "bad example" of how devastating alcohol abuse can be; .....really makes me even more grateful for this new life of sobriety and a recovery program. .....it's been that kind of day.
A day for counting simple blessings.
Hope you guys are having a great weekend so far !!
.
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
May be losing some members...think more so tho members are posting less? I know of at least one that rarely posts on this thread that is still sober.
Anyway...still a few of here regularly. This group is really where I started with SR for the most part.
Anyway...still a few of here regularly. This group is really where I started with SR for the most part.
Living on a prayer
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: NC
Posts: 234
Hi guys! I'm still around and reading, too. Your posts are, as always, very inspiring and insightful. Thank you all for the birthday wishes! It was one of the best birthdays I've had, even though my husband was gone with work, me and the kids had a great day together.
The thing I struggle with most now seems to be memories of being totally messed up and things I did or said. My skin absolutely crawls when I think about some of the worst points in my addictions. Okay, that's probably not so bad, it keeps me scared and sick to my stomach about how I acted and some of the crap I did that it makes me determined to stay clean. I just hate the images coming back and the way it feels, I'm not craving or anything but I physically feel ill thinking about how that addiction felt, how it felt to NEED to be messed up or I'd be shaking and sweating. It's hard to explain, but boy will I be glad when some of those feelings/memories are more distant.
I hope everyone is doing well.
The thing I struggle with most now seems to be memories of being totally messed up and things I did or said. My skin absolutely crawls when I think about some of the worst points in my addictions. Okay, that's probably not so bad, it keeps me scared and sick to my stomach about how I acted and some of the crap I did that it makes me determined to stay clean. I just hate the images coming back and the way it feels, I'm not craving or anything but I physically feel ill thinking about how that addiction felt, how it felt to NEED to be messed up or I'd be shaking and sweating. It's hard to explain, but boy will I be glad when some of those feelings/memories are more distant.
I hope everyone is doing well.
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Threads tend to drop off after a while - I don't think everyone falls off the wagon...I think a lot of people just get back into their lives, y'know?
I hope you'll find the memories fade after a while MGS.
Whatever happened 'back there' you're doing everything right now - there's no more anyone could ask of you but that
D
I hope you'll find the memories fade after a while MGS.
Whatever happened 'back there' you're doing everything right now - there's no more anyone could ask of you but that
D
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by unbrokenchain
This thread is losing members. That is disheartening but I will remain as long as I have internet connection. It's a point of Honor for me to remain till the candle lite dies out.
Cheers the remainder!
Cheers the remainder!
I'm right there with ya' UBC.
Is that (^) an example of existentialism ? Man , you're as literary as ever !
I was thinking the other day we have (at least) three teachers on this thread. How great is that ?!? .....the odds have to be pretty slim too ! When I start teaching some leaded glass classes, we'll have three and a half. lo
A new season's just beginning . I'm no counter of days much, but September celebrates 5 months for us, at some point. Seems like time has sped up since that grueling first month.
Don't mean to sound pollyannish, but this has been a great trip so far.
........."till the candle lite burns out "
.
Last edited by topspin; 08-29-2010 at 08:10 PM. Reason: sp?
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
You know something I never thought about when joining SR was the bonds I would form with people. When I joined it was to get support not to drink. Now...I haven't been a member long...still this has become more to me. I truly have people that I care about like great friends. People I consider friends.
I didn't expect to make these friendships and I wasn't prepared to lose any either. There is an SR friend I feel like I did lose today and I'm really sad about it right now. I don't need sympathy and I'm not going to drink over it...just really sad over it right now.
I looked over the Class of April Threads starting with the first one. Just looked over them, obviously didn't read em all. I am an Apriller but didn't join the thread till May. Didn't realize UBC started it out. Didn't know Dee was an Apriller...thought he was posting because of being a mod. Didn't remember all those names that came and went. Was prob pretty stupid looking over the threads with the state I'm in, but did.
Anyway...just didn't expect to make all these friendships. Glad I did and glad I found SR...just kinda bummin right now.
thanks for letting me vent and thanks for being there.
I didn't expect to make these friendships and I wasn't prepared to lose any either. There is an SR friend I feel like I did lose today and I'm really sad about it right now. I don't need sympathy and I'm not going to drink over it...just really sad over it right now.
I looked over the Class of April Threads starting with the first one. Just looked over them, obviously didn't read em all. I am an Apriller but didn't join the thread till May. Didn't realize UBC started it out. Didn't know Dee was an Apriller...thought he was posting because of being a mod. Didn't remember all those names that came and went. Was prob pretty stupid looking over the threads with the state I'm in, but did.
Anyway...just didn't expect to make all these friendships. Glad I did and glad I found SR...just kinda bummin right now.
thanks for letting me vent and thanks for being there.
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Hey guys, I totally agree that people move on. Yes, some may have fallen along the way but look at the meat of the thread. Most of us actually are still here. There are some who are sober who just don't post as often and remember that people are taking traveling and just living life.
I know that I am active on SR but don't post nearly as much as I used to. I also too have been just living life and have been working on recovery. I feel solid and have sorta left the nest if you will but I still come on because I enjoy our Aprillers group and I do post on some of the newbies offering my experience and encouragement.
I am a different place now so what I have in SR now is different then when I first came on. I know also know when to avoid things that may be a potential negative for me. Not you fine folks but some random posters who are still drinking and then talk about recovery in a negative way and well......Wish you the best but I don't want to spend my time with that. I will help anyone who wants to change but I won't stand by and feel depressed (which has happened recently) and listen to folks who I know are still using. I just move on.
I guess I feel nothing is hopeless and anyone who has gotten sober and who has or is making positive change in their life is evidence of that. But what I do is safeguard my sobriety and if negative nelly or debbie downer is rambling on and on about recovery in a negative light then I close the door and move on. Seriously....I am wise enough to know that while I am solid in my recovery that I am still in the early stages and would be foolish to ignore anything that affects my chi.
Huggs Aprillers and keep it going. I am so proud of us and am so lucky to have met a great group of people who are traveling this journey right along with me.
Here is to an amazing week!!!! Kim
I know that I am active on SR but don't post nearly as much as I used to. I also too have been just living life and have been working on recovery. I feel solid and have sorta left the nest if you will but I still come on because I enjoy our Aprillers group and I do post on some of the newbies offering my experience and encouragement.
I am a different place now so what I have in SR now is different then when I first came on. I know also know when to avoid things that may be a potential negative for me. Not you fine folks but some random posters who are still drinking and then talk about recovery in a negative way and well......Wish you the best but I don't want to spend my time with that. I will help anyone who wants to change but I won't stand by and feel depressed (which has happened recently) and listen to folks who I know are still using. I just move on.
I guess I feel nothing is hopeless and anyone who has gotten sober and who has or is making positive change in their life is evidence of that. But what I do is safeguard my sobriety and if negative nelly or debbie downer is rambling on and on about recovery in a negative light then I close the door and move on. Seriously....I am wise enough to know that while I am solid in my recovery that I am still in the early stages and would be foolish to ignore anything that affects my chi.
Huggs Aprillers and keep it going. I am so proud of us and am so lucky to have met a great group of people who are traveling this journey right along with me.
Here is to an amazing week!!!! Kim
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Originally Posted by Ghostly
You know something I never thought about when joining SR was the bonds I would form with people. When I joined it was to get support not to drink. Now...I haven't been a member long...still this has become more to me. I truly have people that I care about like great friends. People I consider friends.
I didn't expect to make these friendships and I wasn't prepared to lose any either. There is an SR friend I feel like I did lose today and I'm really sad about it right now. I don't need sympathy and I'm not going to drink over it...just really sad over it right now.
I looked over the Class of April Threads starting with the first one. Just looked over them, obviously didn't read em all. I am an Apriller but didn't join the thread till May. Didn't realize UBC started it out. Didn't know Dee was an Apriller...thought he was posting because of being a mod. Didn't remember all those names that came and went. Was prob pretty stupid looking over the threads with the state I'm in, but did.
Anyway...just didn't expect to make all these friendships. Glad I did and glad I found SR...just kinda bummin right now. thanks for letting me vent and thanks for being there.
I didn't expect to make these friendships and I wasn't prepared to lose any either. There is an SR friend I feel like I did lose today and I'm really sad about it right now. I don't need sympathy and I'm not going to drink over it...just really sad over it right now.
I looked over the Class of April Threads starting with the first one. Just looked over them, obviously didn't read em all. I am an Apriller but didn't join the thread till May. Didn't realize UBC started it out. Didn't know Dee was an Apriller...thought he was posting because of being a mod. Didn't remember all those names that came and went. Was prob pretty stupid looking over the threads with the state I'm in, but did.
Anyway...just didn't expect to make all these friendships. Glad I did and glad I found SR...just kinda bummin right now.
thanks for letting me vent and thanks for being there.I can really relate to what you say about not having expected to "make all these friendships" on SR, and not being "prepared to lose any either."
Some times I'm all over the map with experiencing raw emotions these first months in recovery. The difficult ones used to be my main trigger to justify more drinking. " Dr.'s in the house with a little medicine" to relieve the pain , and all. On the flip side, the "good" emotions I feel seem amplified now,
......Thank Goodness !!
My biggest concern at SR , is me just blabbing on (done THAT plenty enough !?!) and unintentionally distancing anyone coming here for support because of something I said (wrote). Thankfully, (I hope and pray ) I'm not as likely to do it as I was in the first few weeks of sobriety, but it's something I need to be vigilante about.
I worry mostly about it here on this April Thread, though.
Always learning here.
Something marinating in my mind Dee said about "and as bad as my past has been, I learn and grow from that too- it's another coat of varnish on who I am and what I believe today ...."
I'm so grateful we're not going through early sobriety alone.
.
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That Dee's pretty smart LOL.
I dunno... sometimes I think I'm just not that powerful to drive people off, or make them drink, or not, or whatever...
then I see the good we do here, and we clearly do make a difference.
so I figure it's best to assume I do have a role to play....and I consider myself accountable for everything I post...
D
I dunno... sometimes I think I'm just not that powerful to drive people off, or make them drink, or not, or whatever...
then I see the good we do here, and we clearly do make a difference.
so I figure it's best to assume I do have a role to play....and I consider myself accountable for everything I post...
D
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That Dee's pretty smart LOL.
I dunno... sometimes I think I'm just not that powerful to drive people off, or make them drink, or not, or whatever...
then I see the good we do here, and we clearly do make a difference.
so I figure it's best to assume I do have a role to play....and I consider myself accountable for everything I post...
D
I dunno... sometimes I think I'm just not that powerful to drive people off, or make them drink, or not, or whatever...
then I see the good we do here, and we clearly do make a difference.
so I figure it's best to assume I do have a role to play....and I consider myself accountable for everything I post...
D
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Feelin better today and may have been overreacting with my post yesterday...still that's what I was feeling so glad I have a venue to Post about it.
Interesting about the diet UBC. I do believe in a high protein low carb/sugar diet. When I did the 30 day challenge I lost over 10 lbs of fat and gained muscle, and felt really good. I didn't know how good I felt till I went off it. I think it is a very healthy diet. The plan I was following allowed for as much lean meat, fruits and veggies as I want. So I really could satisfy my hunger. I am trying to follow it again while allowing myself cheats.
Anyway...I can feel other Aprillers eye's glazing over as they read this, and eventually skipping it so I'll stop here. Would love to discuss it more sometime if you'd like UBC. Congrats on the weight loss! I want to lose about 20 lbs of fat.
Thanks for the positive outlook. You did alarm me a bit with that talk about the possibility of starting over in April 2011...none of that!
Interesting about the diet UBC. I do believe in a high protein low carb/sugar diet. When I did the 30 day challenge I lost over 10 lbs of fat and gained muscle, and felt really good. I didn't know how good I felt till I went off it. I think it is a very healthy diet. The plan I was following allowed for as much lean meat, fruits and veggies as I want. So I really could satisfy my hunger. I am trying to follow it again while allowing myself cheats.
Anyway...I can feel other Aprillers eye's glazing over as they read this, and eventually skipping it so I'll stop here.
Would love to discuss it more sometime if you'd like UBC. Congrats on the weight loss! I want to lose about 20 lbs of fat. Thanks for the positive outlook. You did alarm me a bit with that talk about the possibility of starting over in April 2011...none of that!
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another coat of varnish
Originally Posted by topspin
Dee said about "and as bad as my past has been, I learn and grow from that too- it's another coat of varnish on who I am and what I believe today ....".
Sometimes I just run outta gas before I get to an idea. Late night end of shift fatigue. <sigh>
Having heard about getting to understand certain things about myself in recovery is like "peeling back the layers of an onion" ....a popular (metaphor ?), I guess?
So, this expression "another coat of varnish" (another metaphor ? ....you English Majors help me out here ) .......has a totally different meaning.
Inclusive ?!?, and all.
I probably just like (and relate) to it cause' I first swung a paintbrush at 11. Lo
Cool choice of words D
One more thing, ....you guys can find Dee's Story here. It's worth the time.
and if I knew how to give the link, I would !
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Yea, UBC,
You can come on over to the Fitness thread Ghostly and I get to some. I sound like a broken record talking about how Ba....aaad I think refined sucrose is for anyone, much less those of us in Recovery. Kinda like easing up in a bar mentioning how bad liquor can be for ya liva'
lo
You can come on over to the Fitness thread Ghostly and I get to some. I sound like a broken record talking about how Ba....aaad I think refined sucrose is for anyone, much less those of us in Recovery. Kinda like easing up in a bar mentioning how bad liquor can be for ya liva'
lo
Last edited by topspin; 08-30-2010 at 07:38 PM. Reason: to edit
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LOL I guess my coat of varnish metaphor comes after the peeling back onion skin process...
I dunno - I just got in my head an old antique piece of furniture...you don't know where it's been all it's life, but you can probably see it's been dented there, got a chip out of it there, been puttied up there...painted there, varnished there...
Everything thats happened to it contributes to the piece of furniture you end up with...
everything adds up...the good and the bad.
and thats what I meant.
I'm not happy I'm an alcoholic or that I drank away all those years - but all that does make me who I am today, and I wouldn't want to be anyone else
That'll serve me right for making up my own analogies lol
D
I dunno - I just got in my head an old antique piece of furniture...you don't know where it's been all it's life, but you can probably see it's been dented there, got a chip out of it there, been puttied up there...painted there, varnished there...
Everything thats happened to it contributes to the piece of furniture you end up with...
everything adds up...the good and the bad.
and thats what I meant.
I'm not happy I'm an alcoholic or that I drank away all those years - but all that does make me who I am today, and I wouldn't want to be anyone else
That'll serve me right for making up my own analogies lol
D
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Join Date: Jan 2010
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I have to say guys....whatever kind of day I have....coming here to the Aprillers and reading your posts....man it just makes all alright. No solution or fix.....just some peace in knowing I have all of you and it really helps me tremendously.
Now UBC, Ghost and TS.....keep on posting about the weight thing and dieting. Seriously I am interested here.....guess I will tell all of you why....
Yeah, I have another blip on the recovery radar. For the love of the Lord give me a freaking break. Cancer scare.....suicide risk....surprise you are 6 weeks pregnant and the latest thing.......hubby has to lose weight to pass the new training standards for the Air Force or he gets the boot. Believe this ****....oooopsie....yes sobriety still throws its curveballs....lol.
The problem for him is that he has improved which is the biggest thing but instead of just passing areas of the test (running, sit-ups) well he has a waist measurement that is a must pass or fail. Hubby is a bigger boy - 40 inch waist. He has to get down some and has a few months to do it. He works out everyday faithfully and bikes on his days off like 10 miles each time. Now he is a diet.....salads, fruits, low sodium, water, raw veggies, and no more dressings. He is miserable but can't lose the belly. I mean he is a big guy (ex hs football player) so skinny was never part of his make up.
Oh well that is the latest hurdle. Im sober and it doesn't make the problems better literally but being sober says....ok it is what it is and we will make it through. I mean that is all I can say and do for myself and for him at this point.
4 1/2 months sober and a lot has happened that are pretty big challenges but each one is overcome sober.
Oh for the peeling of layers or coats of varnish thing....I like that. I can't erase anything I did but something in me says....there was a reason I took paths in life and each thing (like Dee shared) makes me who I am. If I didn't hit all those nasty lows....I am not sure I could handle the things I am going throw in recent months. Not that I want those bad things to be there but for me they kinda make up who I am....know what I mean guys?
I'm soooo glad that I can post and ramble here. Probably the only place where I truly have openly shared unlike in my personal life. I am glad I stepped up for counseling as part of my recovery but I still love to come here on a day to day basis and let it out and know that whatever is going on that y'all hear it and know it.
Oh and by the way I have a confession!!! I am a royal bitch lately. So tired and pregnancy is kicking my arse!!! I am one moody monster....LOL. Nothing like a whole bunch of pg hormones to kick in during early sobriety. Holding most in except for my husband who deals with my wrath when he is home. Mostly I am so exhausted and bitchy that I literally have just shut off. Not saying too much to anyone anymore. What I need to do for now I suppose.
Huggs Know too that we all have a crappola days....LOLOL but nothing ever could compare to those years of drinking....bluhhhh.
Now UBC, Ghost and TS.....keep on posting about the weight thing and dieting. Seriously I am interested here.....guess I will tell all of you why....
Yeah, I have another blip on the recovery radar. For the love of the Lord give me a freaking break. Cancer scare.....suicide risk....surprise you are 6 weeks pregnant and the latest thing.......hubby has to lose weight to pass the new training standards for the Air Force or he gets the boot. Believe this ****....oooopsie....yes sobriety still throws its curveballs....lol.
The problem for him is that he has improved which is the biggest thing but instead of just passing areas of the test (running, sit-ups) well he has a waist measurement that is a must pass or fail. Hubby is a bigger boy - 40 inch waist. He has to get down some and has a few months to do it. He works out everyday faithfully and bikes on his days off like 10 miles each time. Now he is a diet.....salads, fruits, low sodium, water, raw veggies, and no more dressings. He is miserable but can't lose the belly. I mean he is a big guy (ex hs football player) so skinny was never part of his make up.
Oh well that is the latest hurdle. Im sober and it doesn't make the problems better literally but being sober says....ok it is what it is and we will make it through. I mean that is all I can say and do for myself and for him at this point.
4 1/2 months sober and a lot has happened that are pretty big challenges but each one is overcome sober.
Oh for the peeling of layers or coats of varnish thing....I like that. I can't erase anything I did but something in me says....there was a reason I took paths in life and each thing (like Dee shared) makes me who I am. If I didn't hit all those nasty lows....I am not sure I could handle the things I am going throw in recent months. Not that I want those bad things to be there but for me they kinda make up who I am....know what I mean guys?
I'm soooo glad that I can post and ramble here. Probably the only place where I truly have openly shared unlike in my personal life. I am glad I stepped up for counseling as part of my recovery but I still love to come here on a day to day basis and let it out and know that whatever is going on that y'all hear it and know it.
Oh and by the way I have a confession!!! I am a royal bitch lately. So tired and pregnancy is kicking my arse!!! I am one moody monster....LOL. Nothing like a whole bunch of pg hormones to kick in during early sobriety. Holding most in except for my husband who deals with my wrath when he is home. Mostly I am so exhausted and bitchy that I literally have just shut off. Not saying too much to anyone anymore. What I need to do for now I suppose.
Huggs
Know too that we all have a crappola days....LOLOL but nothing ever could compare to those years of drinking....bluhhhh.
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
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Thx UBC!! Since when can't we post off topic....LOL. This is some good stuff and I am going to check out the links and talk to my hubby about them. I appreciate it and I agree that healthy eating offsets so much of the alcoholic tendencies.
Now personally I eat healthy to "gain" weight....LOL but hubby on the other is all about losing so both of us have 2 seperate meal plans and while we both do the salads/fruits....I am trying to plump up a bit.... I think the carbs though may have been his problem too. I used to do a lot since it didn't affect me and my metabolism but had was a disaster for him though.
Thanks for sharing!!!
Now personally I eat healthy to "gain" weight....LOL but hubby on the other is all about losing so both of us have 2 seperate meal plans and while we both do the salads/fruits....I am trying to plump up a bit.... I think the carbs though may have been his problem too. I used to do a lot since it didn't affect me and my metabolism but had was a disaster for him though.
Thanks for sharing!!!
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