Class of May 2010 Part 2
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 142
Hi RGO.
It IS a great day in VT too. That is a bit of a dilemma. Like artsoul said, only you can determine what is right for you given your state of mind.
I actually went to a restaurant last night with a friend who was aware and very respectful of whether he had a drink, knowing that I had stopped. I was of the mind, go ahead, his drinking had nothing to do with my sobriety. I felt that I had to test the waters so to speak, and experience any emotions that would result. I passed with flying colors! Which made me proud, and feel better yet as I just returned from a 4 mile walk this morning before 10 AM. I realized that no one can take away that great feeling. It is what I want and I am in control.
That being said, I don't advise anyone to try to be a hero and put themselves in jeopardy if they are feeling vulnerable. Many people on this forum always suggest having an escape plan. So regardless of what you decide, having that in place is always a good move.
Also, I think that we put a bigger emphasis on not drinking due to our own internal dialog and what we bring along in the form of baggage relating to previous drinking and why we are not doing it now. What I have come to see is that there are a lot of people who just aren't drinking - whether it is to be healthy, trying to lose weight, driving, being on medication- and it isn't as big of a deal to grab a club soda with a splash of cranberry and a lime as we envision!
Be kind to yourself in whatever you decide to do! We'll be thinking of you.
It IS a great day in VT too. That is a bit of a dilemma. Like artsoul said, only you can determine what is right for you given your state of mind.
I actually went to a restaurant last night with a friend who was aware and very respectful of whether he had a drink, knowing that I had stopped. I was of the mind, go ahead, his drinking had nothing to do with my sobriety. I felt that I had to test the waters so to speak, and experience any emotions that would result. I passed with flying colors! Which made me proud, and feel better yet as I just returned from a 4 mile walk this morning before 10 AM. I realized that no one can take away that great feeling. It is what I want and I am in control.
That being said, I don't advise anyone to try to be a hero and put themselves in jeopardy if they are feeling vulnerable. Many people on this forum always suggest having an escape plan. So regardless of what you decide, having that in place is always a good move.
Also, I think that we put a bigger emphasis on not drinking due to our own internal dialog and what we bring along in the form of baggage relating to previous drinking and why we are not doing it now. What I have come to see is that there are a lot of people who just aren't drinking - whether it is to be healthy, trying to lose weight, driving, being on medication- and it isn't as big of a deal to grab a club soda with a splash of cranberry and a lime as we envision!
Be kind to yourself in whatever you decide to do! We'll be thinking of you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Sorry I'm late to this RGO...I always work by the rule of thumb if you're worried enough to post about it, you better give it a lot of thought.
I'm not sure I could have gone out with my hard drinking mates so early in my recovery.
I passed up a few occasions - I figured there'd be others later on when I felt better with the whole sobriety idea....and there were...
If you decide to, please do have an escape plan.
D
I'm not sure I could have gone out with my hard drinking mates so early in my recovery.
I passed up a few occasions - I figured there'd be others later on when I felt better with the whole sobriety idea....and there were...
If you decide to, please do have an escape plan.
D
Recent T-totaller
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 120
1th day of the second two weeks
Today is Sunday. Two weeks ago we woke up still drunk from a 48 hour alcohol binge and we knew we could not go on and we managed to get passed the first horrible days of detox and withdrawal and slowly we allowed ourselves to get accustomed to life without alcohol.
A 10 day home holiday and some much needed rest (and perhaps the first alcohol free holiday in our 23 years of marriage) made it easier and now it is the 1th day of the next two weeks hopefully making it to the four week mark.
It still feels very fresh and fragile so I don't want to make it the start of the third week because time wise that may be so but I still feel very much like a beginner and that is why I have decided to make this the first day of the second two weeks to remind me of the beginning and of the terrible way I felt then.
Now it will be about the mind and the mental longing and the way alcohol has a way of sneaking up to you from behind. Hubby will be going back to work and we will need to stay alert because tiredness is so dangerous for us.
Thank you for your support these last two weeks. This group has been a life saver and an inspiration.
I don't think I will be leaving any time soon.
A 10 day home holiday and some much needed rest (and perhaps the first alcohol free holiday in our 23 years of marriage) made it easier and now it is the 1th day of the next two weeks hopefully making it to the four week mark.
It still feels very fresh and fragile so I don't want to make it the start of the third week because time wise that may be so but I still feel very much like a beginner and that is why I have decided to make this the first day of the second two weeks to remind me of the beginning and of the terrible way I felt then.
Now it will be about the mind and the mental longing and the way alcohol has a way of sneaking up to you from behind. Hubby will be going back to work and we will need to stay alert because tiredness is so dangerous for us.
Thank you for your support these last two weeks. This group has been a life saver and an inspiration.
I don't think I will be leaving any time soon.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: new york
Posts: 49
Congrats to all on your accomplishments as we move forward day by day !!
RGO, I have had a similar problem about going to parties with very close friends or family...One I will be attending tomorrow and what I did at the last get together was I got there a little early with some appetizers, greeted everyone, had a few conversations never sticking with one too long without the "accessory" drink in hand...joked with the children in the family...and then did what Dee mentioned...I escaped. No goodbyes, no formalities...I did what we call in New York "The Shuffle"...or "Take the Left"...whatever works, get home safe...AND sober. Peace.
RGO, I have had a similar problem about going to parties with very close friends or family...One I will be attending tomorrow and what I did at the last get together was I got there a little early with some appetizers, greeted everyone, had a few conversations never sticking with one too long without the "accessory" drink in hand...joked with the children in the family...and then did what Dee mentioned...I escaped. No goodbyes, no formalities...I did what we call in New York "The Shuffle"...or "Take the Left"...whatever works, get home safe...AND sober. Peace.
New Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 162
definitely agree with art, pork, dee & king! Escape plan is key, just in case you need it--a lil cushion. Also (right on pork) the club soda with a splash of cranberry & twist of lime is super tasty--that's what I sipped on when I had my first bar outing (to see a friends band play) 19 days sober. I felt fine too. I was really happy to be a completely sober DD for the first time in my life, how disturbing. Also I had a lot of fun--as much or more than when I drank. It's such a mental case we put ourselves through--that's where the escape cushion comes into play!
Best of luck with whichever decision you make
Best of luck with whichever decision you make
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New Hampshire, USA
Posts: 224
Day 27! I went to a great meeting yesterday, and I'll be going to a meeting today. Things are going great. It helps that it is such a beautiful day here.The winters here are brutal, but spring and summer are wonderful, perhaps because they arise miraculously out of such coldness and darkness: maybe there's an analogy there for alcoholics. I wish the best to everyone.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 59
Sunday...
Thank you all for your advices. The party is tonight and I have decided to go for few reasons.
It's day 15 today, and I feel great physically, but a little lonely. I've been avoiding friends because I wasn't feeling strong enough to deal with them.
I have done research, and reading about alcoholism for the last 15 days, now I want to slowly start putting in practice what I have learned.
I do have an escape plan in case things start getting bad. I'm planning to use KINGOFNEWYORK escape plan.... "The Shuffle"... pretend that I'm going to the restroom and just go home.
Well, I'll let you know how was it.
Enjoy the rest of this Sunday!
- I am 100% sure that I do NOT want to drink alcohol again.
- I know that it only brought misery to my life.
- I also know that I have to learn to live sober.
It's day 15 today, and I feel great physically, but a little lonely. I've been avoiding friends because I wasn't feeling strong enough to deal with them.
I have done research, and reading about alcoholism for the last 15 days, now I want to slowly start putting in practice what I have learned.
I do have an escape plan in case things start getting bad. I'm planning to use KINGOFNEWYORK escape plan.... "The Shuffle"... pretend that I'm going to the restroom and just go home.
Well, I'll let you know how was it.
Enjoy the rest of this Sunday!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Detroit MI
Posts: 119
Hello to everyone!
H2Only Hi and welcome to SR
Crow300 Congrats on the sobriety time
Bobgt Thanks for checking in
Artsoul HI and hope all is well
Margareth Happy belated birthday and on the time sober
KofNY hope all is well
Norther Congrats on the time sober
RGO congrats on the sobriety
for those that I did miss I apologize but I do hope that all is going well.
Remember one day at a time, if you have to one minute at a time.
I am doing okay a lot of anxiety but have been able to turn it into something else or give it away.
Thanks
Dean
I am being rushed by 3 of the children.
H2Only Hi and welcome to SR
Crow300 Congrats on the sobriety time
Bobgt Thanks for checking in
Artsoul HI and hope all is well
Margareth Happy belated birthday and on the time sober
KofNY hope all is well
Norther Congrats on the time sober
RGO congrats on the sobriety
for those that I did miss I apologize but I do hope that all is going well.
Remember one day at a time, if you have to one minute at a time.
I am doing okay a lot of anxiety but have been able to turn it into something else or give it away.
Thanks
Dean
I am being rushed by 3 of the children.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: aground
Posts: 102
I'm In !!
Hey all,
Day 5 for me again
As you can see from my join date, I've been struggling with this awhile, but I'm not going to give up. I'm going to begin again at the beginning. It's getting near the end of the month but I have to get started now, so I would like to join this class before the bell rings !!
Looking foreward to getting to know everyone! ( I was going to wait until June to join a class but the Mayflower / Pilgrim thing pushed me over the edge lol ! )
Thanks guys,
hadit
Day 5 for me again
As you can see from my join date, I've been struggling with this awhile, but I'm not going to give up. I'm going to begin again at the beginning. It's getting near the end of the month but I have to get started now, so I would like to join this class before the bell rings !!Looking foreward to getting to know everyone! ( I was going to wait until June to join a class but the Mayflower / Pilgrim thing pushed me over the edge lol ! )
Thanks guys,
hadit
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
yea! Another fellow pilgrim! Welcome to the Class, hadit! I'm a repeat offender, too, and want to make this time the last. It's true what they say about things only getting worse eventually. Hope to get to know you better..... we're all going through the same stuff, which makes it alot easier (for me anyway!)
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New Hampshire, USA
Posts: 224
Hadit: Keep pitchin' and welcome back.
Day 29. I went to two meetings yesterday. The second one was a return to what was my home group 15 years ago, my first stint in AA. I saw some of the same faces, including two guys in their eighties with over 40 years of sobriety. There were a few others whom I know from other meetings to have over 30 years. It makes me regret that I didn't stick the first time, but I won't dwell on it - that could lead to a drink - I'm just grateful to be back and to feel that this time I'm on a more real - honest - footing than I was last time. Best of luck to all.
Day 29. I went to two meetings yesterday. The second one was a return to what was my home group 15 years ago, my first stint in AA. I saw some of the same faces, including two guys in their eighties with over 40 years of sobriety. There were a few others whom I know from other meetings to have over 30 years. It makes me regret that I didn't stick the first time, but I won't dwell on it - that could lead to a drink - I'm just grateful to be back and to feel that this time I'm on a more real - honest - footing than I was last time. Best of luck to all.
Welcome hadit... 
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 59
Last night... Hey AtlasMcGee,.... hi all!
Thanks for asking. Last night went really well. I stayed at the party till the end, and only had water to drink. They had lot of food so I kept myself busy eating... I think I gained 2 pounds last night!
I'm very glad I was there. It was a very different experience to party sober. The old me would buy 2 bottles of wine on my way home from work. Open one as soon as I get home and start drinking to get "in the mood", drink at the party from start to finish, then go home and drink the second bottle of wine.
Last night, I could finally see how ridiculous some of my "friends" behave. I cannot believe that I've been hanging out with these people for years and I never noticed how they act when they drink. I guess I didn't notice it because I was always drunk too. The dinner was about 2.5 hours long, and their bar tabs were from $ 40 to $80 bucks per person (only for drinks)... and after dinner they went to bar to continue the party. I went home.
I'm sober and content today but I'm confused. I thought I understood my addiction but I don't think I do. I didn't feel like drinking last night but I knew that if I had one drink I will continue drinking till pass out. I made an appointment with an drug and alcohol counselor, June 9. Hopefully, they help me to understand it better.
It was fun last night, but I think I will try to stay away from some of these "friends" from now on.
Your turn. How are you?
Thanks for asking. Last night went really well. I stayed at the party till the end, and only had water to drink. They had lot of food so I kept myself busy eating... I think I gained 2 pounds last night!
I'm very glad I was there. It was a very different experience to party sober. The old me would buy 2 bottles of wine on my way home from work. Open one as soon as I get home and start drinking to get "in the mood", drink at the party from start to finish, then go home and drink the second bottle of wine.
Last night, I could finally see how ridiculous some of my "friends" behave. I cannot believe that I've been hanging out with these people for years and I never noticed how they act when they drink. I guess I didn't notice it because I was always drunk too. The dinner was about 2.5 hours long, and their bar tabs were from $ 40 to $80 bucks per person (only for drinks)... and after dinner they went to bar to continue the party. I went home.
I'm sober and content today but I'm confused. I thought I understood my addiction but I don't think I do. I didn't feel like drinking last night but I knew that if I had one drink I will continue drinking till pass out. I made an appointment with an drug and alcohol counselor, June 9. Hopefully, they help me to understand it better.
It was fun last night, but I think I will try to stay away from some of these "friends" from now on.
Your turn. How are you?
Recent T-totaller
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 120
Originally Posted by RGO 
[FONT="Verdana"]
Last night, I could finally see how ridiculous some of my "friends" behave. I cannot believe that I've been hanging out with these people for years and I never noticed how they act when they drink. I guess I didn't notice it because I was always drunk too. The dinner was about 2.5 hours long, and their bar tabs were from $ 40 to $80 bucks per person (only for drinks)... and after dinner they went to bar to continue the party. I went home.
It was fun last night, but I think I will try to stay away from some of these "friends" from now on.
Last night, I could finally see how ridiculous some of my "friends" behave. I cannot believe that I've been hanging out with these people for years and I never noticed how they act when they drink. I guess I didn't notice it because I was always drunk too. The dinner was about 2.5 hours long, and their bar tabs were from $ 40 to $80 bucks per person (only for drinks)... and after dinner they went to bar to continue the party. I went home.
It was fun last night, but I think I will try to stay away from some of these "friends" from now on.
I stopped drinking for one year when I was 40. It was strangely easy. I stopped at midnight new years eve. I had been drinking all evening and when everybody went into champagne overdrive I stopped.
That year I was at parties as a non drinker and I thought on the whole they were the most boring events with everybody else getting drunk.
I wish now that at the time I had the wisdom of staying sober, I felt fine but exactly one year later at new year midnight I started drinking again.
I honestly don't know why but I blame my insecurity and wanting to fit in. I remember doing the same thing when I started drinking at the age of 21.
All I can say is; good for you for recognising the bizarre behaviour of people spending loads of money getting sloshed and starting to behave ridiculous.
I look for friendship now in people who don't drink or drink so little it is negligible and most of all who do not put any pressure on me to drink or engage in behaviour which is self-destructive to me.
It is a huge relief, I hope you will find the same.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 12
Good afternoon Mayflowers. I hope we're all ok and did good things over the weekend.
RGO - On the subject of finding drunk people a bit taxing - I met my husband and his friend after work on Friday evening. I had two orange juice and lemonades while they tucked away a few bottles of beer/cider. I was having an ok time but I could NOT get a word in edgeways! I gave up, left them to it, bought a pizza on my way home and had a fabulous night on the sofa watching trash on tv....and thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Anyhoo, no drinks for me over the weekend. I got tons done and feel great today I hope everyone is the same.
RGO - On the subject of finding drunk people a bit taxing - I met my husband and his friend after work on Friday evening. I had two orange juice and lemonades while they tucked away a few bottles of beer/cider. I was having an ok time but I could NOT get a word in edgeways! I gave up, left them to it, bought a pizza on my way home and had a fabulous night on the sofa watching trash on tv....and thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Anyhoo, no drinks for me over the weekend. I got tons done and feel great today
I hope everyone is the same.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hello all! (Happy Memorial Day to those in the States) - it's thunderstorming here and I imagine alot of barbeque grills are getting wet. I spent the weekend painting a little, doing things around the house, watching TV and hanging out at SR. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I like it just fine. I have 30 days today, and I've had a few cravings and actually felt a little emotional this morning (went back and read my first post). I guess we're supposed to expect those kind of things at major milestones??
Draciack - I just have to say you are really going to town! I'm still on the fence as to whether I'll go back to AA meetings or not on a regular basis. I know it wouldn't hurt(!).
Great post, RGO - I have a party coming up this Thursday and it will be interesting to observe the different levels of sobriety. I'm going to take some mental notes and will report in Friday morning. Thanks goodness there will be a good mix of people and lots of food (will probably gain two pounds myself!).
There's always the King's "Shuffle," if I get antsy.
So great to see everyone keeping up their sobriety - it gives me so much inspiration! WAY TO GO MAYFLOWERS!!
.......groovin' together, yeah yeah yeah.....
Draciack - I just have to say you are really going to town! I'm still on the fence as to whether I'll go back to AA meetings or not on a regular basis. I know it wouldn't hurt(!).
Great post, RGO - I have a party coming up this Thursday and it will be interesting to observe the different levels of sobriety. I'm going to take some mental notes and will report in Friday morning. Thanks goodness there will be a good mix of people and lots of food (will probably gain two pounds myself!).
There's always the King's "Shuffle," if I get antsy.
So great to see everyone keeping up their sobriety - it gives me so much inspiration! WAY TO GO MAYFLOWERS!!
.......groovin' together, yeah yeah yeah.....
New Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 162
RGO- You're mighty welcome & I'm glad to hear the night went well! I felt very similar with my bar experience a couple weeks back. When everyone was going to tab out I definitely smiled to myself & did not miss that at all. There were times when the bartender would be like you have to pay, because I was about to walk out without paying or times when you'd have to wait forever to tab out. Also a few of my "friends" were being slightly ridiculous & a lot of behavior seemed immature. I was glad to not be a part of that.
This weekend was a lot of fun to me & I did a lot of things that about a month ago would have needed to be court ordered or something...haha
I was off work Friday, which was great. I ended up spending the day reading & the evening with my mom. We went out to dinner & went to a few stores. Bought a Yoga mat & got some groceries--coconut milk ice cream...yum.
Saturday I picked up the breakfast shift at work (6 a.m.!) because a coworker can not work for a week due to doc recommendations. That is so very early in the morning for me. I tried to go to bed early the night before, but I could only reach lights out at 1:30 a.m. So, I had very little sleep, but was excited about it being my 30days sober & being able to go to my new home group in AA to get that chip at 8 p.m. Got off work & had loads of time to kill, I was free from 2:30-8. Called some friends in the area to visit, but they weren't home. So I went to a AA house to catch a meeting in between to take up time. Well I ended up going to all 3 meetings then heading to my home meeting. They were all great to attend.
Sunday I worked another double & went to another meeting afterward. It was a birthday meeting, so a guy celebrating 4 years shared his story & we had some cake...yea!
Decided to not go on a canoe trip today, because my car has some mildew in it (from the Great flood of Nashville) & was driving me allergies nutsO. So I'm taking it easy breezy & relaxing. Feels good. Also had a great convo with my dad. Instead of being all annoyed & upset about being back home at my parents, I'm enjoying the company I keep & relishing the amazing opportunities constantly around me.
I hope everyone had a great weekend!!
This weekend was a lot of fun to me & I did a lot of things that about a month ago would have needed to be court ordered or something...haha
I was off work Friday, which was great. I ended up spending the day reading & the evening with my mom. We went out to dinner & went to a few stores. Bought a Yoga mat & got some groceries--coconut milk ice cream...yum.
Saturday I picked up the breakfast shift at work (6 a.m.!) because a coworker can not work for a week due to doc recommendations. That is so very early in the morning for me. I tried to go to bed early the night before, but I could only reach lights out at 1:30 a.m. So, I had very little sleep, but was excited about it being my 30days sober & being able to go to my new home group in AA to get that chip at 8 p.m. Got off work & had loads of time to kill, I was free from 2:30-8. Called some friends in the area to visit, but they weren't home. So I went to a AA house to catch a meeting in between to take up time. Well I ended up going to all 3 meetings then heading to my home meeting. They were all great to attend.
Sunday I worked another double & went to another meeting afterward. It was a birthday meeting, so a guy celebrating 4 years shared his story & we had some cake...yea!
Decided to not go on a canoe trip today, because my car has some mildew in it (from the Great flood of Nashville) & was driving me allergies nutsO. So I'm taking it easy breezy & relaxing. Feels good. Also had a great convo with my dad. Instead of being all annoyed & upset about being back home at my parents, I'm enjoying the company I keep & relishing the amazing opportunities constantly around me.
I hope everyone had a great weekend!!
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