August Sobriety Part 9
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Zebra..it seems to be wide spread that alot of parents supply the alcohol for teenagers parties. Although it is admirable that they will keep those teens off the road., I worry about the message it sends, to say nothing of that fact that it is illegal.
I would hope they would learn that when of legal age, they need a designated driver.Someone is not always going to be there to take the keys away.
How wonderful that your house is known as a comfortabled, fun, alcohol free hang out. Our prom was two weeks ago...and my daughters date is a non-drinker also. It was nice to know that drinking was not something we needed to worry about that night.
You will have a late night tonight..but, a fun one..enjoy!
I would hope they would learn that when of legal age, they need a designated driver.Someone is not always going to be there to take the keys away.
How wonderful that your house is known as a comfortabled, fun, alcohol free hang out. Our prom was two weeks ago...and my daughters date is a non-drinker also. It was nice to know that drinking was not something we needed to worry about that night.
You will have a late night tonight..but, a fun one..enjoy!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
Zebra - I don't have kids, but I think what you are doing is great. My husband has two (now grown) sons from his first marriage and both of them have had serious problems due to alcohol and I suspect drug abuse. He and his first wife "wanted to be friends" with their sons because they thought that would make them (the sons) be open and honest about things in their lives. It had just the opposite effect. I think kids want discipline or rules - it shows the parents care. To have none and be allowed to do whatever you want...well, I see what happened to them. The oldest is now 40 and has never held a steady job, has no savings of any kind and no retirement of any kind. He owes us tens of thousands of dollars. The youngest had many stumbles, but eventually made out fine, but lost everything in this economic downturn - he had his own business which went under. He also owes us tens of thousands of dollars, which we finally could no longer send to him. But my husband is estranged from him because we would not - and could not afford to - bail him out of his most recent financial troubles. My husband is retired. So his son just cut off all communication. My husband hasn't seen him or his grandchildren in almost 5 years. A long winded comment, but I do believe it all goes back to the lack of discipline when they were growing up. Anyway....................
I am off to the golf course - it is sunny right now, so maybe we will have a good day. I am NOT having any alcohol at the 19th hole. NONE.
KC
I am off to the golf course - it is sunny right now, so maybe we will have a good day. I am NOT having any alcohol at the 19th hole. NONE.
KC
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
I got nothing on parenting, lol. Guess some things just weren't meant to be.
Yesterday I got fired by my sponsor. She never wants to talk on the phone, all of a sudden she does. I was in traffic, sneaking a phone call. I didn't have time to talk. I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to tell all about myself to someone who doesn't talk back. This whole "pay to play" idea of friendship is not really appealing to me at all, even if I'm being told it's normal and I should be happy for the attention--it's unconditional love for me, as long as I go out of my way to seek it and invite myself along to places, and volunteer to help people out, and don't expect a thing in return--because my turn will come when I have a few years and newcomers come in. Feels like a Ponzi scheme, and I'm late to the party.
Anyways, I now have a solution for my little "overhappy" problem I get every so often... go to a meeting. It truly works.
Cause, see, when I'm happy I want to be around people and when that is not possible, I hit the bottle... but an AA meeting will remind me that people are overrated.
Yeah, this has been less than 24 hours since I was on cloud nine. I didn't post last night because I was angry again... sponsor asked me why didn't I volunteer to fix "X"'s car 'cause that would have made me a friend. WHAT? I don't want friends I have to do stuff for in order for them to notice me. I don't really like talking to people who are told to come talk to me by their sponsor (and less so talking to the sponsors who come to me for confirmation that their sponsees did in fact come and say hi). It does not make me feel welcome. It does not make me feel better than when I come in looking blue. I know, I know, I have to wait a while before people will talk to me, so many new people, and I've only been coming around five months. I mean, who could expect someone to genuinely come up and want to get to know me?
Every meeting I stand up as a newcomer, and laugh when they say "so we can get to know you at the break."
On the other hand, some people apparently noticed me. I've gotten several people glare at me and accuse me of being dishonest when I said "I don't have a license" in order to "make them go out of their way" and pick me up for a meeting. I didn't have a license. I never said I didn't have a car.
I don't want to stay here. I want to leave.
I have to do lots of homework and I don't want to. But I will. See y'all tomorrow, hope you all are having a much funner weekend than me.
Take care,
TB, still hoping Monday will go better vis a vis leaving here--got a phone call to make, might work out after all*
*something I thought up while camping. AA has been of no help, except to say I should just go rent a place while I look for a job to get some money. Sober someone up for a few years and they think AA is so idealized that even though I can't get a ride... of course someone there will let me LIVE IN THEIR HOUSE for a few months rent free.
**yeah, I'm bitter... sorry. gonna go calm down and come in and write those dang old papers.
Yesterday I got fired by my sponsor. She never wants to talk on the phone, all of a sudden she does. I was in traffic, sneaking a phone call. I didn't have time to talk. I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to tell all about myself to someone who doesn't talk back. This whole "pay to play" idea of friendship is not really appealing to me at all, even if I'm being told it's normal and I should be happy for the attention--it's unconditional love for me, as long as I go out of my way to seek it and invite myself along to places, and volunteer to help people out, and don't expect a thing in return--because my turn will come when I have a few years and newcomers come in. Feels like a Ponzi scheme, and I'm late to the party.
Anyways, I now have a solution for my little "overhappy" problem I get every so often... go to a meeting. It truly works.
Cause, see, when I'm happy I want to be around people and when that is not possible, I hit the bottle... but an AA meeting will remind me that people are overrated.
Yeah, this has been less than 24 hours since I was on cloud nine. I didn't post last night because I was angry again... sponsor asked me why didn't I volunteer to fix "X"'s car 'cause that would have made me a friend. WHAT? I don't want friends I have to do stuff for in order for them to notice me. I don't really like talking to people who are told to come talk to me by their sponsor (and less so talking to the sponsors who come to me for confirmation that their sponsees did in fact come and say hi). It does not make me feel welcome. It does not make me feel better than when I come in looking blue. I know, I know, I have to wait a while before people will talk to me, so many new people, and I've only been coming around five months. I mean, who could expect someone to genuinely come up and want to get to know me?
Every meeting I stand up as a newcomer, and laugh when they say "so we can get to know you at the break."
On the other hand, some people apparently noticed me. I've gotten several people glare at me and accuse me of being dishonest when I said "I don't have a license" in order to "make them go out of their way" and pick me up for a meeting. I didn't have a license. I never said I didn't have a car.
I don't want to stay here. I want to leave.
I have to do lots of homework and I don't want to. But I will. See y'all tomorrow, hope you all are having a much funner weekend than me.
Take care,
TB, still hoping Monday will go better vis a vis leaving here--got a phone call to make, might work out after all*
*something I thought up while camping. AA has been of no help, except to say I should just go rent a place while I look for a job to get some money. Sober someone up for a few years and they think AA is so idealized that even though I can't get a ride... of course someone there will let me LIVE IN THEIR HOUSE for a few months rent free.
**yeah, I'm bitter... sorry. gonna go calm down and come in and write those dang old papers.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
KC and partner are in SECOND PLACE in the golf tournament. Only 2 under par. Whoooo Hoo. However, it is supposed to rain all day tomorrow. Because the other players are such hard core competitors, they want to play even if it rains ... so long as the course if open. So if the course is open, we play, even in the rain. I am not a good rain player. If the course is closed, then we either vote to end the tournament at 18 holes (which means ending up in 2nd place) or we agree to play again next Saturday to complete the tournament. I don't really care one way or the other. I am happy to be 2 under par. Just hate playing in the rain.
All players except 3 or 4 of us went into the bar afterward. I went in only to order take out for my grandmother - who is still seriously ill and whom I am helping to take care of. She is 93 years old Mother's Day weekend. It makes me so sad to see her this way. She is sick, lives alone, won't go to a nursing home or assisted living and is basically wishing she would die so she is no longer alone. She really appreciated me bringing her dinner and she said my grandfather would be so proud to know I was in second place tonight. He would roll over in his grave if he knew of my drinking problems.
OK - off to bed. Gotta get rested up in case I end up playing in the rain. Hope everyone has a good night.
KC
All players except 3 or 4 of us went into the bar afterward. I went in only to order take out for my grandmother - who is still seriously ill and whom I am helping to take care of. She is 93 years old Mother's Day weekend. It makes me so sad to see her this way. She is sick, lives alone, won't go to a nursing home or assisted living and is basically wishing she would die so she is no longer alone. She really appreciated me bringing her dinner and she said my grandfather would be so proud to know I was in second place tonight. He would roll over in his grave if he knew of my drinking problems.
OK - off to bed. Gotta get rested up in case I end up playing in the rain. Hope everyone has a good night.
KC
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
Well, my daughter's prom was a success, but I only got 4 hours of sleep. It's going to be a loooooong day. I'm going to go to an AA meeting tonight with the men's group I enjoy. That end's at 8, then it's going to be an early night for me.
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Originally Posted by Zebra1275 
Well, my daughter's prom was a success, but I only got 4 hours of sleep.
Nice, KC and partner, second place. It's raining (according to the internet at least)... so what happened? Call it or next weekend? I gotta admit, I was kinda confused by 36 holes of golf at first, figured they had bigger courses some places.
Well, I didn't do much studying wise yesterday, but I got a schedule now, just gotta stay on it. Everything should work out. I don't know why I don't do this earlier on, if I can do it sort of comfortably (schedule does not involve losing sleep, missing class, or missing meetings) at the last minute, I could surely do this in some 'middle minutes' a lot more comfortably. I've known I have to work on procrastinating since I don't know when. Another cyclical problem of mine--I'm procrastinating on doing something about my procrastinating. Maybe they got a site for that. Maybe I'll check it out later
But, good mood's back. Woke up kind of early, ready to get started with the day. I'm ignoring obstacles till I forget to.
Hope y'all are having good days too,
TB
TB
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: malibu, ca
Posts: 12
Hi all,
After being a creepy little lurker since August, I've finally decided it was time to make my presence known. After college, I was accepted into law school and decided that it was time to take a hard look at my alcohol abuse. In a way, I felt that starting law school was a way to make a fresh start and began looking for support groups online. While I've stayed silent among you all for the better part of a year, I've been following all of your progress and thanks to this board I've felt much comfort. The stress and competition of school makes it hard to fight the temptation of visiting what I've felt was my best friend...alcohol. The guilt I feel for the way i've treated others...especially an ex....makes me feel the need to be numbed by booze....throughout these trying times, I've come to this board for support. so thanks. I'm proud to say that after several failed attempts, I haven't had a drink since April 2, 2010. That's all I've got.
- scout (my parents were big 'to kill a mockingbird' fans.
After being a creepy little lurker since August, I've finally decided it was time to make my presence known. After college, I was accepted into law school and decided that it was time to take a hard look at my alcohol abuse. In a way, I felt that starting law school was a way to make a fresh start and began looking for support groups online. While I've stayed silent among you all for the better part of a year, I've been following all of your progress and thanks to this board I've felt much comfort. The stress and competition of school makes it hard to fight the temptation of visiting what I've felt was my best friend...alcohol. The guilt I feel for the way i've treated others...especially an ex....makes me feel the need to be numbed by booze....throughout these trying times, I've come to this board for support. so thanks. I'm proud to say that after several failed attempts, I haven't had a drink since April 2, 2010. That's all I've got.
- scout (my parents were big 'to kill a mockingbird' fans.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Hi all...
TB-I thought of you, I spent some time in the wilderness...did some hinking and
meditated at a waterfall..very relaxing.!
Zebra, glad to hear the prom went well..
KC- Can't wait to hear how you all fared today.
Scout...welcome..so glad you came out of lurkedom and are on the road to recovery..woo hoo!! Glad you are here with us..
TB-I thought of you, I spent some time in the wilderness...did some hinking and
meditated at a waterfall..very relaxing.!
Zebra, glad to hear the prom went well..
KC- Can't wait to hear how you all fared today.
Scout...welcome..so glad you came out of lurkedom and are on the road to recovery..woo hoo!! Glad you are here with us..
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Welcome Scout! Glad you are with us. Let us know if and how we can help you.
KC- Keep us posted on the golfing.
TB- Glad you are in a better mood and the cloud seems to be lifted for now. I hear you on the procrastination. I am right there with you. I always seem to get everything done, but I wait until the last minute with I HAVE to do it. It would so much easier if I just got things done right away...... but it is just how I am. Maybe why it took me so long to do something about my drinking.
Welcome back Anew. How was the retreat?
Zebra- Glad prom went well.
KC- Keep us posted on the golfing.
TB- Glad you are in a better mood and the cloud seems to be lifted for now. I hear you on the procrastination. I am right there with you. I always seem to get everything done, but I wait until the last minute with I HAVE to do it. It would so much easier if I just got things done right away...... but it is just how I am. Maybe why it took me so long to do something about my drinking.
Welcome back Anew. How was the retreat?
Zebra- Glad prom went well.
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Just sitting here struggling with thinking that drinking might help me here... I need to get kick started (well, I did start but it's going mighty slow) and alcohol usually does that. Or so I remember of last finals... even though it ended horribly. Then I see ANew reminding me of my lil' camping trip and Scout's location being--well, roughly exactly where I was. Remember the good, just get through this... Gotta press on. Gotta press on. (repeat chorus as necessary...)
Welcome ex-lurker btw
Congrats on the sobriety... you got 6 days on me.
Ok, back to working then. I'd just stopped in to see if anything useful could be garnered... guess so.
This site works in strange ways.
Take care y'all,
TB
Welcome ex-lurker btw
Congrats on the sobriety... you got 6 days on me.Ok, back to working then. I'd just stopped in to see if anything useful could be garnered... guess so.
This site works in strange ways.
Take care y'all,
TB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
TB-Gotta press on..gotta press on..gotta press on..gotta press on..
Besides, remember we can never just have one..and one thousand is never enough..
at one point hiking..we decided rather then go back up the trail, we would take a short
cut "up" a steep path/cliff., my calves were screaming..but, it felt great. Something
about nature and being outside..just rebalances me..
Bdiddy..at the retreat there is a brand new chapel of stone, wood and glass against a backdrop of woods..the sun was shining thru all that glass this morning thru the trees. I could have stayed there looking at that all morning. How is your packing going?
Besides, remember we can never just have one..and one thousand is never enough..
at one point hiking..we decided rather then go back up the trail, we would take a short
cut "up" a steep path/cliff., my calves were screaming..but, it felt great. Something
about nature and being outside..just rebalances me..
Bdiddy..at the retreat there is a brand new chapel of stone, wood and glass against a backdrop of woods..the sun was shining thru all that glass this morning thru the trees. I could have stayed there looking at that all morning. How is your packing going?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
KC and partner had a rough day in the rain. The other women are fiercely competitive and would not "call" the tournament. So we played. I was bundled up in wool pants, rain pants over those, long sleeve top, sweater and rain jacket, baseball cap and gloves. Still came in SECOND PLACE, but only 2 over par. Gave the defending champions a run for their money. I played the worst round ever, so it was all my partner who kept us in the running. Still a good showing for being a very cold, windy, rainy day. I am just out there to have fun....that's all. Next tournament is a mixed couples Mothers Day tournament. Playing with a golf buddy of mine whose wife does not play. Since my husband does not play, we are a good pair. Even better he is a 5 handicap and I am a 32 handicap. If I play well, we will do very well. If I play bad........well, similar result as today.
Everyone have a great week. I am very very busy with work, so will check in when I can.
KC
Everyone have a great week. I am very very busy with work, so will check in when I can.
KC
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 711
Hi everyone! I hope y'all had a nice weekend.
My husband and I were talking on Saturday about how things 'used to be' with me. It is honestly hard to hear, but something I need to hear.
I was basically out of it for much of the time and do not remember all of the stupid and horrible things I did and said, but I know I was not there for him for a long time. I was in my own miserable world.
I would wake up early on weekends and drink while my husband was still asleep. By the time he woke up, I would be passed out. I did a lot of drinking myself unconscious. I am still learning why I did that. I am working step four and it is very revealing. I truly did not know that I am such a selfish person. I have a lot of fear and a lot of shame.
I picked fights with him about really stupid stuff. I threw things. I broke things. I talked about killing myself. I hid liquor all over the house. I wasn't taking care of my responsibilities around the house. I almost lost my job. I got a DUI.
Anyway, although I only have just under five months sobriety, I am so grateful to be sober and so happy now. I know I have a lot of bridges to cross and mend, but I feel like I can do it now that I am sober. I love being sober. It is a gift. This sounds corny, but I feel God working my life.
I just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for reading.
Libby
My husband and I were talking on Saturday about how things 'used to be' with me. It is honestly hard to hear, but something I need to hear.
I was basically out of it for much of the time and do not remember all of the stupid and horrible things I did and said, but I know I was not there for him for a long time. I was in my own miserable world.
I would wake up early on weekends and drink while my husband was still asleep. By the time he woke up, I would be passed out. I did a lot of drinking myself unconscious. I am still learning why I did that. I am working step four and it is very revealing. I truly did not know that I am such a selfish person. I have a lot of fear and a lot of shame.
I picked fights with him about really stupid stuff. I threw things. I broke things. I talked about killing myself. I hid liquor all over the house. I wasn't taking care of my responsibilities around the house. I almost lost my job. I got a DUI.
Anyway, although I only have just under five months sobriety, I am so grateful to be sober and so happy now. I know I have a lot of bridges to cross and mend, but I feel like I can do it now that I am sober. I love being sober. It is a gift. This sounds corny, but I feel God working my life.
I just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for reading.
Libby
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Good Morning All..
Bananagrrrl..I just mentioned the exact same thing to someone the other day. Looking at the wreckage of my past is scarey.Looking at how self-centered I was, and can still be is hard.
You are right though, isn't life better sober!
Thank you for sharing that with us...
Bananagrrrl..I just mentioned the exact same thing to someone the other day. Looking at the wreckage of my past is scarey.Looking at how self-centered I was, and can still be is hard.
You are right though, isn't life better sober!
Thank you for sharing that with us...
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
Welcome, Scout.
Great job on the golf, KC. My son is playing in a tournament today. The morning started out rainy and windy - now the sun is out, but it's still windy.
To the others, glad things are going well.
Did anyone see The Hallmark Al-Anon movie last night? Boy did some of that hit home with me. Maybe I've been barking up the wrong tree and should take a good look at Al-Anon.
Great job on the golf, KC. My son is playing in a tournament today. The morning started out rainy and windy - now the sun is out, but it's still windy.
To the others, glad things are going well.
Did anyone see The Hallmark Al-Anon movie last night? Boy did some of that hit home with me. Maybe I've been barking up the wrong tree and should take a good look at Al-Anon.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Morning everyone!
Banana- I know exactly what you are talking about. My wife and I had a great conversation last night also. As it turns out, she had thoughts of leaving me! What an eye opener! I had NO IDEA!!! She didn't know why I acted like I did because she didn't know i was drinking. She just knew whatever was going on, she couldn't take much more of it. Good luck on step 4.
KC- Congrats on the tournament. Sounds like the next one you will do well playing with a great partner and your low handicap. That should give you a serious advantage. Keep us posted. So did you skip the 19th hole on Sunday?
So, did anyone watch the movie on CBS last night? It was a movie on the life of Bill W. and his wife Lois. How AA came to be, and Al-Anon. Their struggles and recovery. Absolutely AMAZING!!! If you missed it, every alcoholic NEEDS to see it! It is called "When Love is Not Enough". Wynona Ryder plays Lois Wilson.
Banana- I know exactly what you are talking about. My wife and I had a great conversation last night also. As it turns out, she had thoughts of leaving me! What an eye opener! I had NO IDEA!!! She didn't know why I acted like I did because she didn't know i was drinking. She just knew whatever was going on, she couldn't take much more of it. Good luck on step 4.
KC- Congrats on the tournament. Sounds like the next one you will do well playing with a great partner and your low handicap. That should give you a serious advantage. Keep us posted. So did you skip the 19th hole on Sunday?
So, did anyone watch the movie on CBS last night? It was a movie on the life of Bill W. and his wife Lois. How AA came to be, and Al-Anon. Their struggles and recovery. Absolutely AMAZING!!! If you missed it, every alcoholic NEEDS to see it! It is called "When Love is Not Enough". Wynona Ryder plays Lois Wilson.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
KELOLAND.com | Sioux Falls News & Weather, South Dakota News & Weather, Minnesota and Iowa News
This is an eye opening article in my local news. I highly doubt the two drivers or the person killed planned on this happening this weekend when they thought they were going out for a night of "fun". Makes us realize just how quickly life can change as a result of our drinking.
This is an eye opening article in my local news. I highly doubt the two drivers or the person killed planned on this happening this weekend when they thought they were going out for a night of "fun". Makes us realize just how quickly life can change as a result of our drinking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Amazing is a good word for the movie..
KC-I have attended (and probably still will) Al-Anon meetings. Like AA meetings,if you can find a group that is the right fit for you, they are great. I have learned alot from them, and continue to.
Bdiddy...wow...your wife knew something was going on and had thoughts of leaving you,
I bet that was a shock!
KC-I have attended (and probably still will) Al-Anon meetings. Like AA meetings,if you can find a group that is the right fit for you, they are great. I have learned alot from them, and continue to.
Bdiddy...wow...your wife knew something was going on and had thoughts of leaving you,
I bet that was a shock!
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