ANEWAUGUST

Maybe there is something in the air right now making people even more annoying then previously.

I have a manager that technically is under me...(I try not to distinguish levels, I work with everyone). However, EGO is HUGE...never has been in the position he is in now..
loud...always right...paranoid...(and those are some of the better qualities,just kidding).
Never takes a day off because he has no life outside of work...arggghh...some of need him to take a day off so we can have a break.

I know I can't change other people...but, there is always drama where this man is concerned..I am so anti-drama that is makes my skin crawl. It is almost like hearing
Fran Dreschers voice from The Nanny...loud and whiny!!!!

Today, I leave early to take my daughter to a weekend retreat. A friend is driving with me, and we are eating at one of my favorite restaurants...P F Changs..

So, I am looking forward to that., and hopefully a sunny weekend..

How about everyone else?

bdiddy5522

Sorry a lot of you seem to be having issues with co-workers. I get that way too, but I work very hard on not letting anyone disrupt my "serenity." It is very hard sometimes, let me tell you. I guess just one other thing for me to continue working on.

TB- Congrats on getting your license back! That is awesome, and now hopefully you can get to your meetings on your own agenda and don't have to rely on others. What a gift!

Anew- Have a great weekend. Sounds like fun. I am not doing much. Just relaxing and probably getting some stuff done around the house. The weather is finally getting nicer. (mid 30's) which is like a heat wave for us! Snow is melting, and it is feeling like spring finally.

ANEWAUGUST

I may grumble some...but, I really try not to let anyone rock my serenity boat. I have to maintain some type of balance with over 90 employees to deal with...customers, etc.

KC----I beat your hubby was proud of his cleaning caper...even though it ruined the floor. I am always amazed by what "men" decide needs to be cleaned, or what chore to be done..as opposed to what I know (haha) needs to be done. Men/women definetely come from different places and spaces!

Zebra1275

Anew, great resturant choice, I love P F Changs. Their lettuce wrap appetizer is worth the trip alone.

On the subject of office drama, I'm trying to deal with a subordinate who has some anger management issues. That's not the least of it, he is 6' 8" ~ 350 lbs. and confessed to me that he is transgender (I actually had to google it since the political correctness of the label has changed since I was younger). He is trying to wait until retirement to make the actual "change" but little things keep popping out. I remain hopeful that he will keep his office life and personal life separate.

ANEWAUGUST

Zebra...the lettuce wraps are our favorite!!

I had to smile, and I know it isn't funny...but, anger management issues and "transgender:....sounds like a Dr. Phil show.

You know..it is always a reminder that others have things to deal with in their lives...and my little bumps in the road, aren't too bad.

ANEWAUGUST

And dare I ask...what little things keep popping out Zebra...

(sorry...I just couldn't resist)

thirtybubba

Well, I haven't actually gotten the license yet, B. Assuming I can get to the place on Monday (should be able to... I have a 8-hour window to get there), I will be then eligible to go down to the DMV and pay them lots of money.

Well, a while back y'all and everybody else I know was at me to think of the positive things, and I was not too capable of that at the time. Admittedly, I'm not much better right now, but I'd like to announce (& I'm mighty sorry--((hugs)) all around) that I don't have office drama... haven't worked in a while either, but I can think back to some people/ supervisors I have worked for... yeah that can be a good thing, if you look at it right.

Speaking of people who make lives miserable though, I ran into Evil Roommate the other day. She looks like Hell warmed over, hair an absolute mess--not even combed--and her loyalists weren't right there with her. I'm not a good enough person to forgive her yet, but I don't hate her any more, and haven't since I moved into this new apartment.

Well, I'm all woke up, headed out on a long walk, possibly the last mandatory one, to get some tights... I'm invited to a sweet 16, a family that's friends with mine. They've seen me wasted (not the routine daily drinking... the out of control parties back in the day) and it'll be interesting showing up and not drinking. These people I don't know nowadays (college put a rift between us all) but I do know them, which is a change from most of the people I see daily.

Anyways, have a really good day y'all,
TB

PurpleCat

I told my husband last night that I am not happy with things as they are, and that he needs to give some serious, hard thought to getting help for his addictions. I have a strong feeling that this will not end well, but I don't want to spend the next 20 years of my life dealing with his addictions - and there are several.

bdiddy5522

Oooooo, good for you PC! I am sure he did not like to hear that, but sometimes the things we hate to hear the worst, are the ones we need to hear the most. Keep us posted how all of that goes for you. At least now he knows that you are aware, and things have to change. Best wishes, and keep us in the loop.

ANEWAUGUST

PC-I am sure that was hard to say (at least it would be for me). But, I know what you mean about looking at the years ahead and knowing how you would like to spend them.

TB-sounds like Monday is the day....hurray! Enjoy the party..

KC1

Listening to the office dramas gave me quite a smile tonight! I was recently travelling with one of my sales people and we passed a deer carcass on the side of the road. It was clear that it had not been there long. I said "oh, no, look at that poor Bambi." And he said "gosh, you actually have emotions." That was a real eye opener. Anyway, I am sitting here drinking a diet coke. The 6:30pm craving has passed and hubby is coming home with sushi for dinner very soon. Made it through another day. Tomorrow is Day 7. Not much going on for the weekend except work stuff. Family issues have surfaced again - my three week respite from being a caregiver are over so that is ow back in my life, but I seem to be able to cope better without the alcohol. I hope it continues. Will check in with everyone over the weekend. Have fun whatever you do.

KC

Zebra1275

And dare I ask...what little things keep popping out Zebra...

well Anew, you asked! Let's just say I had to give him a directive to not wear a bra under his sports coat. When he got warm in the office he would take his sport coat off, and well, you could see bra straps. It wasn't pretty. He also had a health emergency at work a couple of years ago and had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Gossip from a nurse that made it to a friend of mine was that this very large man (him) in a business suit was admitted to the hospital. The old question, is he wearing boxer's or brief's didn't apply, unbeknown to the nursing staff was that there was a third option.

On another note, my oldest daughter is home from college this week and we went out to dinner downtown as a family. We ended up getting seated in the rowdy bar side of a nice hotel restaurant, next to a party of about 10 people, probably in their 40's or 50's. One older woman was pretty drunk, loudly singing, bouncing around in her chair, and making loud animal noises that she thought were funny, in addition to just being obnoxious. She looked like a drunk, 50 year old fool. I was amused watching her make a fool of herself and glad that I don't drink. I guess I'm also kind of glad that I did my serious drinking alone at home. I don't think I've been a drunken fool in public since my college years.

thirtybubba

Well, I've been thinking a lot all day about this party and this other event I have this month. It's in a bar... not my decision, but it is a logical place for the event. Nothing in hosting the event in a bar says I gotta drink, and it would be easier to host it if I wasn't drinking... hey I just thought that up. That's good, I think I'll use that.

On the other hand, the party I just need to brace myself for. The people (well, some of them) who will be there knew me long time ago, and many others know of me... so they've heard a tale or two of crazy stuff I did drunk/high as an adolescent (when most of the 'good stories' come from...) and, I think that makes it easier for me to tell them that I'm not drinking anymore. I know there'll be more pressure there from my 'peers' to drink, but when I turned 21 I stopped doing drugs for the most part, and I told them that plain as day, and there was no problem. Don't know how me being all the way clean will go over, but... can't be worse than me being a college student, so...

And they might get it. We all partied hard for a very long time, and they're still at it... no way all of them are still in those 'good old days' stages of drinking/drugging. I doubt any of them are... it's been 15 years or so for most of us, and, um, we didn't believe in moderation to say the least. So they might understand why I did it. Not that I forsee hanging out with any of them on a regular basis, just tomorrow. And maybe the next time someone gets married or such...

And, heck, maybe I'll have fun. It's been a mighty long time since I've been around people I actually know.

Anyways, what I really need to do is go to sleep, but I'm hyper. I was talking to my cousin for a couple of hours, basically tossing stuff at him to see if it made sense. According to him, I still haven't completely lost it. That's a good sign. He doesn't think anybody would have a problem with me not drinking either, which is another good sign, 'cause he's from 'our crowd'. If all fails and it's too hard, I can always politely excuse myself--after all, I live a ways from the party. The event at the bar I won't be able to do that without bringing up a lot of questions, but this will be the "practice" one, on home turf if you will.

Take care y'all,
TB, not sure if I'll be around tomorrow, but have a nice day anyways I'll be okay

ps. I had a really good day, as far as I felt really good all day long. No apparent reason, just light & free...

bdiddy5522

I am so glad things are looking up for you TB. This is a pretty sweet reward you are getting because of your sobriety, eh? I mean, I don't think you would be able to get your license back if you walk into the DMV drunk and smelling of booze? So what a great gift to yourself. I am glad your weekend is going well.

Hello everyone else. Zebra? Your co-worker sounds like a real piece of work! I just can't imagine. I guess I should be happy I work for our small family business. I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff. haha.

I am playing with my new PC. TJ got one just like it, however hers hasn't arrived yet. It is pretty sweet, and a good way to spend some time this weekend. I went to the grocery store with my wife and daughter today. It was fun. I haven't done that for years. I got some chicken wings that I am going to make my own sauce and cook sometime. You are all invited over to try them. May have to throw some Texas Pete in there, hey Jason?

Anyways, I hope you are all having a great weekend. Sober high fives all the way around.

thirtybubba

Well y'all I did it! Was there for most of it, and sober for all of it.

It was weird, being around people I sorta knew, and a bunch I really knew. A friend of mine was there, pouring Bacardi into the pepsis from the bar (cheapskate alcoholics, what can I say) and I helped her 'cause... 'cause she was gonna spill, really. And she did--I got a hand covered in rum out of the deal. But I didn't drink a one. Her man bought rounds of pepsi for us all, and I just drank mine straight. I was honest about why, I quit drinking. They teased me about it not lasting, and I just went along with it--heck, I got no time to speak of so who am I to say "no this time it'll work"? Although I wanted it to... just silent resolve is all. They got wasted, I saw clearly for the first time how drunk people act...

Then... my ex showed up. The two of us would have married, but for what can only be divine intervention. Between us, we could finish off a gallon of whiskey in a day, and did that every day. Miracle of miracles, he's getting sober too... in a rehab program and all that. We talked a lot (being the only two sober adults for starters) and a lot of the same feelings towards alcohol and our lives. We laughed about what would have happened had we married... picturing the fighting and the drama. We never did fight during our years together, not physically or even much arguing, but... funny how in retrospect you can see where something might have gone.

Noticed all the people drinking, how the dancing got worse and the heels got kicked off and the ties loosened... the repetitive talking, people forgetting what they'd said five minutes earlier. Arguments about nothing at all. Both of us kept tripping out on how it was, and realizing that we would have been on the worst end of the behavior we were watching. As we were leaving, the security guard tipped his hat--back in the day, he would have been calling the cops on one or both of us and we'd have been running for the cars. Since we were both adding to the list of what was different (neither one of us felt normal being sober there) it was probably a more comprehensive list than I might have made alone.

Although, I gotta admit, when he first brought me a coke, I smelled it--hoping that it was full of whiskey. But even though it was freely available and nobody would have noticed or cared... I didn't.

Proud of me.

So I texted my sponsor that all went well... and got a message back that it was too late to text or call, people are asleep. How is this sponsor thing supposed to work, all this AA call-people stuff, if 12:30 am is too late??? I suppose I'm supposed to fall apart in the daytime. That kind of makes me nervous, because in the daytime, I don't usually get in that mode that causes me to relapse. So, it's lip service, I'm really flying on my own here.

Oh well, still kinda hyped. La la la twirl. Step, rock...

Take care y'all.
TB

KC1

WAY TO GO, TB!!!! WAY TO GO!!!!!! WHOO HOOO. You should be very very proud of yourself, you did so good! It really is not that hard, is it? And yes, watching everyone getting a little louder, repeating themselves and not remembering things, does something to reinforce what we are doing, doesn't it?

I had a similar experience last night as well. Went over to friend's house for dinner - there were 5 couples in all. I was the ONLY one not drinking. One friend knows that I am trying to quit, but she said she would not say anything to anyone if asked, she would leave it up to me. I took a 6-pack of the small bottled Pellegrino waters with me. As soon as I got there, one guy said "how come you're not drinking" and with at least 4 others within hearing distance I said "I've decided to adopt a healthier lifestyle." He was speechless and everyone else just looked at each other and that was that. No one said another word the entire night. I could see some of the women whom I have drank with in the past stealing funny looks at each other but no one said a single word.

My one friend who knows I am quitting, was getting a bit tipsy and she said "I'll help you with the drinking - it is so nice to be with you and you are not falling down and throwing up (did I do that around here??? don't even remember throwing up!) and crying (did I do that, too?) and so I will help you. I will even stop drinking when I am with you so you don't get the urge." WOW! I honestly didn't know what to say. Was I really like that???? I guess so. She went on to say how when we were at the beach together (she is the one with a beach house) that the next morning I clearly would not remember "how bad" it was the night before. I guess crying and sobbing and falling down were a norm for me. How sad.

Anyway, I just woke up - slept for 12 hours. Love waking up without the hangover and I've lost a few pounds this week, as well.

I'm going back to see Avatar again tonight - really friends - if you haven't seen it, go see it. My husband hasn't seen it and I am more than happy to go again.

TB - again, congrats on doing so well last night. I am really very proud of you. And you are not by yourself in this - you have us. While we can't speak to you at 12:30am, you can write. Get on here at 12:30am and write and write and write.

KC

bdiddy5522

KC, TB- So happy you both made it through the weekend without drinking. Awesome victories for you both! TB, about the sponsor saying it is too late is very un-nerving to me. They are supposed to be available 24/7 for when you need them. Sounds like she is being a bit selfish, and you may need to find another sponsor.

Friday night my wife and I went out for one of her co-workers 30th birthday party to a local lounge. I really didn't want to go. Frist off, I knew I wouldn't really know anyone there. I mean, I know her co-workers, but not well enought to want to spend the night with them getting drunk. A lot of their spouses were also there, but I don't really know them either. Usually in situations like this, I used to just start drinking and everything would be fine and fun. Well, this time it just wasn't fun because there I was surrounded by people I don't know and was the only sober one there. (My wife only had three drinks all night.) We left about 10:30. One of the guys there said "man, it must SUCK not drinking." I laughed and said "we will see when we both wake up in the morning." He just looked at me, and said yeah, you are right. haha. He complimented me on how great I look (I have lost 27 pounds) and said he wished he could stop drinking too. I just smiled, and said when you are ready to stop, give me a call.

So today we are getting ready to head to church. Wife has a roast in the oven and smells fantastic! It's going to be a nice little Sunday. I hope all of the rest of you are doing great!

traderjane

Nice to see everyone doing so well this weekend! Way to go TB and KC!!!

I have never understood people saying it's too late to text. That's ridiculous. If you don't want to be woken up, they have this thing called "vibrate mode" on phones. That's ridiculous what your sponsor told you TB. I'm not much into the sponsor thing myself, as it goes against believing that this is MY decision and my decision alone -- but I can see how it helps some people.

My deal lately is that I've been totally sober during the week and drinking moderately on the weekends. I've been trying to see how this is working for me, and I really think I'm ready to stop the drinking on the weekends as well. It's not doing much for me at all. I try to get that perfect buzz where everything seems great and all my troubles go away, at least temporarily. This perfect buzz is getting more and more elusive. So what is the point of drinking on the weekends if it's not even an escape for me!

So here I go... sober during the week AND ready to try sober weekends, too.

Next weekend my daughter and I are going to New York City for a mother/daughter weekend. I made the plans a while back, and I had ordered a special tray of chocolate covered strawberries, bottled water and a bottle of red wine to be waiting for us at the hotel when we arrive. I'm going to call the hotel and have them cancel the red wine. I can do this without the red wine --- as Brent said before, it's just a crutch. I don't need it.

I have a work party tonight celebrating the two year anniversary of our company. I am driving and will have diet cokes or cranberry juice. I'm not really worried about seeing other people drink in front of me. I have to go, so skipping it is not an option. I can do it without alcohol. I'll report back later

Nice Sunday to all!

Laura

traderjane

Oh yeah, one more thing. This vertigo thing may be a blessing in disguise for me. It is well documented that alcohol use, even in moderation, can cause dizziness and vertigo. So if I'm not drinking and people ask why, I have the perfect explanation. I'll simply say it was causing vertigo/dizziness and that I'm not drinking for medical reasons. For me that is a whole lot easier than saying, "I'm not drinking because....I have a problem with alcohol.... blah blah blah..." Easy out for me in any situation!!! And it's not even a lie!

bdiddy5522

Good for you TJ. Sounds like you are realizing that alcohol is just not a good thing. Doesn't matter if it is the weekend or the week. Mad props for calling and canceling the bottle of wine for next weekend. Just think how much more enjoyable the weekend will be with your daughter when you are clear headed the entire time! You will love it. Have a blast! Also, thanks for mentioning the dizziness thing. I have been dealing with this since even before I got sober. I am almost 4 months without a drop, and it is still there. Pretty much all the time. I am going to see an accupuncturist tomorrow to see if he can help. It was really bad Friday night. We were out with some of my wifes co-workers, and one of the "larger" gals starting hopping around right next to me. It made the floor move just a bit, and I almost fell over! I felt like I had to sit down. So I started walking and got away from there ASAP. I wonder how longs it takes for this to go away? It really is frustrating! Keep us posted on your vertigo.

Well, just finished up family dinner after church. I had to go to my parents house a few miles away and feed their horses since they are out of town. Fun stuff. Happy Sunday everyone.