Living In Sobriety Pt 27
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: over the seas and far away
Posts: 862
morning everyone,
thanks for all the posts i have loved reading them, louis and rusty i am looking forward to coming back to follow yours a bit closer... alas work calls this morning !
RO: keep posting whatever, however you like, it is never just a rambling to us, but to listen to a friend in need... if it helps you it makes us feel better
ditto to you New Leaf
Bee: exes can be such a pain, i too get very angry when he upsets the girls and tended to get angry back, but that only upsets the girls more, now i talk them through it.
i know its different when money is involved and you are doing a great job, i cant believe he is doing that to his own daughter!! ((hug)) for you lovely bee
how is your pain? that cant be helping any i guess, has the steroids started working?
SOber: i can relate to you and your mum issues, i know in advance that will be a major job for me in the resentment step making amends ... i have felt resentful toward her for years about her ways of manipulation, putting her husband before her kids and grandkids, and getting all teary and upset to win sympathy when i call her on it.
now i am polite, but certainly not the type of relationship i would want with my kids when they are grown.!!
i had an experience of 'progression not perfection' over the weekend,
i went to my work christmas party where the free alcohol flowed freely! bottles of wine on the table.. and waiters bringing cocktails, spirits whatever you wanted around
i didnt even desire a drink during the night, amazing. It made me think back to when i had the other similar function in october and how anxious and agitated i was before and during the night about alcohol, and how i had to actively not pick up.
i also am very aware NOT to become complacent!
take care all
and a big hello to everyone
love
kate
thanks for all the posts i have loved reading them, louis and rusty i am looking forward to coming back to follow yours a bit closer... alas work calls this morning !
RO: keep posting whatever, however you like, it is never just a rambling to us, but to listen to a friend in need... if it helps you it makes us feel better
ditto to you New Leaf
Bee: exes can be such a pain, i too get very angry when he upsets the girls and tended to get angry back, but that only upsets the girls more, now i talk them through it.
i know its different when money is involved and you are doing a great job, i cant believe he is doing that to his own daughter!! ((hug)) for you lovely bee
how is your pain? that cant be helping any i guess, has the steroids started working?
SOber: i can relate to you and your mum issues, i know in advance that will be a major job for me in the resentment step making amends ... i have felt resentful toward her for years about her ways of manipulation, putting her husband before her kids and grandkids, and getting all teary and upset to win sympathy when i call her on it.
now i am polite, but certainly not the type of relationship i would want with my kids when they are grown.!!
i had an experience of 'progression not perfection' over the weekend,
i went to my work christmas party where the free alcohol flowed freely! bottles of wine on the table.. and waiters bringing cocktails, spirits whatever you wanted around
i didnt even desire a drink during the night, amazing. It made me think back to when i had the other similar function in october and how anxious and agitated i was before and during the night about alcohol, and how i had to actively not pick up.
i also am very aware NOT to become complacent!
take care all
and a big hello to everyone
love
kate
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Kate! Hi Nelcs! Lovely to see you both. Yes, Kate, isn't it wonderful to not be fixated on the booze when at a social gathering? I don't go to many events where there is a lot of alcohol, but when I am, I'm usually not spending much time thinking of what I might be missing. Such freedom.
Daughter and I hung our Christmas lights outside first time in a couple of years and they look good. We had a nice meal and some oven baked cookies and have shopped for the week. I almost don't want to go to the meeting tonight, but I had best. I can still feel the edges of that anxiety nibbling away at my stomach, and I need to stay in gratitude - if I isolate, that's not likely to happen.
I think I'll take a bath and read for a time, then get ready.
I hope everyone is having a good day/night wherever you are.
Hugs.
p.s. thanks to Bee for my signature image: me, with my poppy out stick! I'll think of you and Louis when I finally have it in my hand! Woooo! Pretty!
Daughter and I hung our Christmas lights outside first time in a couple of years and they look good. We had a nice meal and some oven baked cookies and have shopped for the week. I almost don't want to go to the meeting tonight, but I had best. I can still feel the edges of that anxiety nibbling away at my stomach, and I need to stay in gratitude - if I isolate, that's not likely to happen.
I think I'll take a bath and read for a time, then get ready.
I hope everyone is having a good day/night wherever you are.
Hugs.
p.s. thanks to Bee for my signature image: me, with my poppy out stick! I'll think of you and Louis when I finally have it in my hand! Woooo! Pretty!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Just finished getting a beef stew into the oven. First thing I really accomplished all weekend other than getting myself to Mass. It's a start.
Now I'm going to sit down with my calendar and figure out what I need to do when to get the house organized and semi-clean, finish up the last minute details for the weekend event (without thinking about the one I forgot), move forward on the next big volunteer related event, and get some paid work time in.
I did bring up taking antidepressants again with my doctor during my annual physical a few weeks ago and discussed how much anxiety comes into play with regard to getting stuck in my tracks. The two for me are kind of hard to separate. The weight gain's something I don't want to deal with though -- not because I'm worried about the way I'll look but because my blood pressure's been tough to treat as it is. The one med she suggested is definitely out, because when I tried it last time -- the anxiety it produced was scary, so much so that I would get panick attacks while driving and feel the urge to drive into telephone poles. NOT a good thing.
I MUST take time to deal with some of these issues but feel like my hands are tied. I feel like a hamster on a wheel. I got myself into this volunteer position because a very close friends needed my help desparately -- too long to explain but I took it on to lessen her heavy load after she'd lost her husband to suicide. I was basically her last hope and I feel that if I let her down... Well... all I have to do is hang on until July and then PROMISE MYSELF to say "no" to the next thing that comes along.
Kate -- before I go, I wanted to say how great it is that you could enjoy the Christmas party even with all the booze flowing freely. Same with you, Lis, when you wore your bartender's hat recently. The thing that I appreciate even more though, is that neither of you have taken your sobriety for granted. You're careful to keep memories of your past days close to your hearts, humble enough to admit it, and kind enough to share.
Ro -- I know you know all about the stifling anxiety -- and the depression. Thank you for reminding me to take time for myself, but more importantly -- to stay in the moment. I really forget to do the latter, because it's so hard to push the worries away, to let them go. As usual -- you show by example. Stringing the lights, enjoying your meal, taking time to relax, and changing your outlook with regard to going out tonight say it all. Thanks.
Thanks Nels. Hoping you're all comfy now and ready for bed.
K. I need to get to work on that calendar so I can prove to myself that things are manageable and not too far out of reach.
Now I'm going to sit down with my calendar and figure out what I need to do when to get the house organized and semi-clean, finish up the last minute details for the weekend event (without thinking about the one I forgot), move forward on the next big volunteer related event, and get some paid work time in.
I did bring up taking antidepressants again with my doctor during my annual physical a few weeks ago and discussed how much anxiety comes into play with regard to getting stuck in my tracks. The two for me are kind of hard to separate. The weight gain's something I don't want to deal with though -- not because I'm worried about the way I'll look but because my blood pressure's been tough to treat as it is. The one med she suggested is definitely out, because when I tried it last time -- the anxiety it produced was scary, so much so that I would get panick attacks while driving and feel the urge to drive into telephone poles. NOT a good thing.
I MUST take time to deal with some of these issues but feel like my hands are tied. I feel like a hamster on a wheel. I got myself into this volunteer position because a very close friends needed my help desparately -- too long to explain but I took it on to lessen her heavy load after she'd lost her husband to suicide. I was basically her last hope and I feel that if I let her down... Well... all I have to do is hang on until July and then PROMISE MYSELF to say "no" to the next thing that comes along.
Kate -- before I go, I wanted to say how great it is that you could enjoy the Christmas party even with all the booze flowing freely. Same with you, Lis, when you wore your bartender's hat recently. The thing that I appreciate even more though, is that neither of you have taken your sobriety for granted. You're careful to keep memories of your past days close to your hearts, humble enough to admit it, and kind enough to share.
Ro -- I know you know all about the stifling anxiety -- and the depression. Thank you for reminding me to take time for myself, but more importantly -- to stay in the moment. I really forget to do the latter, because it's so hard to push the worries away, to let them go. As usual -- you show by example. Stringing the lights, enjoying your meal, taking time to relax, and changing your outlook with regard to going out tonight say it all. Thanks.
Thanks Nels. Hoping you're all comfy now and ready for bed.
K. I need to get to work on that calendar so I can prove to myself that things are manageable and not too far out of reach.
Last edited by Emily2002; 12-06-2009 at 03:05 PM. Reason: Adding something.
Im not crazy and neither am I
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: My place in (M)Assachusetts
Posts: 2,088
my anxiety comes from fear and its alot less when I am balanced in life and recovery - thats just me though
"just be" I used that just the other day at a meeting - my interpretation to BEING in the moment.
"just be" I used that just the other day at a meeting - my interpretation to BEING in the moment.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
My fears in general have gotten a bit better since I've stopped drinking too, First, but every once in a while when I let my guard down or when I get blindsided by life's inevitable surprises they end up snowballing big time.
I think part of it is actually due to the fact that I'm facing them head on and not avoiding them by numbing. It's HARD.
I SO need to work on learning how to meditate or slow down my runaway thinking by breathing. I know that will help but it's hard to make the time to first learn and then DO it.
I did finally pencil some goals into my calendar for this week and next. I feel a little bit better.
(((RO)))
I think part of it is actually due to the fact that I'm facing them head on and not avoiding them by numbing. It's HARD.
I SO need to work on learning how to meditate or slow down my runaway thinking by breathing. I know that will help but it's hard to make the time to first learn and then DO it.
I did finally pencil some goals into my calendar for this week and next. I feel a little bit better.
(((RO)))
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
Bee nope, the two foots aint related,
ones a redneck, and the other a cowboy...
lou, as a fear based alcoholic, facing them dead up, has led to a new wonderful life full of freedom...
of course, it didn't happen overnight, and i had to peel a hell of a lot of onions to find them,
and then make the soup out of them...
yep, with the gooey melted cheese on top too! lol
its my Onion Soup of Life!
and i still peel some onions, if need be!
nights LIS
Hey Rusty, Are the two barefoots related?
ones a redneck, and the other a cowboy...
lou, as a fear based alcoholic, facing them dead up, has led to a new wonderful life full of freedom...
of course, it didn't happen overnight, and i had to peel a hell of a lot of onions to find them,
and then make the soup out of them...
yep, with the gooey melted cheese on top too! lol
its my Onion Soup of Life!
and i still peel some onions, if need be!
nights LIS
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Sometimes, Liz, I just play different meditative type videos on You Tube if I'm having a difficult time calming down. That, or I distract myself with some stand-up comedy. Laughter always helps me - when I can let it happen.
Tonight's meeting was good it started snowing on the way it was cold but very pretty with all the Christmas lights we saw. Daughter was a good sport and came to the meeting with me tonight. I'm grateful to have such an accepting and loving daughter.
The girl who spoke tonight was only 17 and in her first year of sobriety. When I closed my eyes and just listened, she sounded like a much younger version of myself. And, some of the feelings she described, I identify with today.
I am grateful for my sobriety, for my life today.
Special hugs going out to Liz. Try to be gentle with yourself.
Tonight's meeting was good it started snowing on the way it was cold but very pretty with all the Christmas lights we saw. Daughter was a good sport and came to the meeting with me tonight. I'm grateful to have such an accepting and loving daughter.
The girl who spoke tonight was only 17 and in her first year of sobriety. When I closed my eyes and just listened, she sounded like a much younger version of myself. And, some of the feelings she described, I identify with today.
I am grateful for my sobriety, for my life today.
Special hugs going out to Liz. Try to be gentle with yourself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
I appreciate the suggestion to tap youtube, Ro. And as for laughter and comedy -- I'll have to hit hulu to see if there are any episodes of Modern Family I may have missed. That series -- a new one -- always makes me laugh.
Your daughter sounds simply lovely. You really arelucky, and imho so is she.
I'm so full right now. Ate way too much of the beef stew I made earlier, but the full meal's doing it's job. I'm beginning to feel sleepy so will go downstairs to get my 14 year old to bed. I know all he wants to do is stay up to finish watching Harry Potter's Goblet of Fire, but tomorrow's a school day and he's got a nasty cough. Time for me to put my foot down!
Your daughter sounds simply lovely. You really arelucky, and imho so is she.
I'm so full right now. Ate way too much of the beef stew I made earlier, but the full meal's doing it's job. I'm beginning to feel sleepy so will go downstairs to get my 14 year old to bed. I know all he wants to do is stay up to finish watching Harry Potter's Goblet of Fire, but tomorrow's a school day and he's got a nasty cough. Time for me to put my foot down!
Last edited by Emily2002; 12-06-2009 at 07:24 PM. Reason: spelling and it bugged me! lol
Living in sobriety
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,870
Good Morning to all "living on sobriety"
Well I feel better after a good nights sleep. Boy I really felt drained yesterday. I think I may have caught something. Just felt weak, tired and had a sore throat. Nothing a few early nights wont sort out I am sure. I am very grateful this morning.
Reflections read and house tidied. I am about to drop curtains etc into cleaners and pick up some food shopping. meeting a member for coffee at lunchtime and hopefully I will get some office work done this evening.
I am amazed, simply amazed at the amount of growth in recovery I am listening to lately on this thread and I feel part of a very special group here. BY God...... "It works it really does"
(((((Rowan))))) I know this week is a big week for you and you are very much in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck today with the fitting etc. They are getting someone VERY special!!
BTW I love the avi.......so apt!!!
Well I feel better after a good nights sleep. Boy I really felt drained yesterday. I think I may have caught something. Just felt weak, tired and had a sore throat. Nothing a few early nights wont sort out I am sure. I am very grateful this morning.
Reflections read and house tidied. I am about to drop curtains etc into cleaners and pick up some food shopping. meeting a member for coffee at lunchtime and hopefully I will get some office work done this evening.
I am amazed, simply amazed at the amount of growth in recovery I am listening to lately on this thread and I feel part of a very special group here. BY God...... "It works it really does"
(((((Rowan))))) I know this week is a big week for you and you are very much in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck today with the fitting etc. They are getting someone VERY special!!
BTW I love the avi.......so apt!!!
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Good morning peeps
Last night laying in bed while taking my inventory of the day I realized I needed to come here this morning and say I was sorry for ignoring everyone yesterday. I did read the posts but I was in a pretty lousy space and couldn't offer anyone anything. So please accept my apology.
I am grateful that God hears my prayers
I am grateful that I am sober and have the AA program in my life
I am grateful for my health
I am grateful for 2 loving children and their strength
I am grateful to know love and give love to others
I am grateful that the steriod med is helping a little
I am grateful for a home and heat on these cold days
I am grateful for my job and the paycheck I am able to bring home
I am grateful for all the friends I have
I realized I hadn't made a gratitude list in a few days and needed to see how much I do have to be grateful for.
Last night laying in bed while taking my inventory of the day I realized I needed to come here this morning and say I was sorry for ignoring everyone yesterday. I did read the posts but I was in a pretty lousy space and couldn't offer anyone anything. So please accept my apology.
I am grateful that God hears my prayers
I am grateful that I am sober and have the AA program in my life
I am grateful for my health
I am grateful for 2 loving children and their strength
I am grateful to know love and give love to others
I am grateful that the steriod med is helping a little
I am grateful for a home and heat on these cold days
I am grateful for my job and the paycheck I am able to bring home
I am grateful for all the friends I have
I realized I hadn't made a gratitude list in a few days and needed to see how much I do have to be grateful for.
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Liz, congratulations on your 100 days sober, that is so awesome.
Kate, thanks for asking, the steriod meds are helping a bit, I can get out of bed with no pain today, on a scale of 1 to 10 the pain was a 10 and is now a 6 or 7 so that is really good.
Ro good luck at the swearing in today, What time do WE have to be there? I hope you didn't think you were going solo on this. I'm so proud of you Ro.
Kate, thanks for asking, the steriod meds are helping a bit, I can get out of bed with no pain today, on a scale of 1 to 10 the pain was a 10 and is now a 6 or 7 so that is really good.
Ro good luck at the swearing in today, What time do WE have to be there? I hope you didn't think you were going solo on this. I'm so proud of you Ro.
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