August Sobriety Group Pt 6
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,911
KC, glad you are back. When you left I figured you would come back at some point. A lot of folks from the August group have slipped since then (me included) and many have just disappeared. You are still a part of the group as far as I'm concerned.
Keep posting, and don't drink tonight. Can you get out of your business dinner tomorrow, claim you have the flu or something? I would. If I had, had a night like yours I would want some time to re-group.
Keep posting, and don't drink tonight. Can you get out of your business dinner tomorrow, claim you have the flu or something? I would. If I had, had a night like yours I would want some time to re-group.
Last edited by Zebra1275; 11-11-2009 at 07:19 PM.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 957
((KC))
So very glad U R okay considering 'the night you had.'
It could of been so very worst, where U could of killed someone or yr self. So glad that it was just cosmetic damage. If yr friend valued yr friendship, he will B there 4 U; U might have 2 tell him that U do have a drinking problem, that U were drunk, it sure couldn't hurt.
Take care and forgive yr self.
So very glad U R okay considering 'the night you had.'
It could of been so very worst, where U could of killed someone or yr self. So glad that it was just cosmetic damage. If yr friend valued yr friendship, he will B there 4 U; U might have 2 tell him that U do have a drinking problem, that U were drunk, it sure couldn't hurt.
Take care and forgive yr self.
perpetual optimist
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 2,959
What a horrible night KC..........I sooooooooooooo feel for you. I hope it helps to know you are not the only one to have gone thru such a night. It's hell.......and the more you can't remember, the worse it is........sets in a kind of panic that cannot be described. Time will start to heal............but please take the lesson in it. You have been spared..........this time. I think back to my DUI.......I made a choice that night......almost turned on to the highway and I thought........nah, gonna go see my guy.......drove down a curvy little road and ended up in a little ditch.......I think I had passed out........WHAT IF I was on that highway. I had been spared.......wow. Scary stuff. My feelings are right there with ya. (( ))
Take care and keep us posted.
Take care and keep us posted.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
G'morning all. Just sitting here with a cup of coffee and getting ready to head out for the day. It's nasty here on the East Coast and where I'm headed we are supposed to experience coastal flooding and 60mph winds. I still feel like crap - did get a very good nights sleep thanks to Ambien and I while I woke up refreshed, I still feel like crap on the inside. I know you all know what I mean. If my friend ever contacts me again, I will tell him about the drinking. I could just cry. Anyway, I hope you all have a good day today. I won't be checking in till late tonight after I get home - round 11:00pm EST. Oh yeah, I did do one thing to try to cheer myself up - tomorrow night after work I am going to get a "holiday makeover", manicure/pedicure at a new Spa that opened up near here. New face, new me perhaps? :-)
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
KC ... what a night. I think (sadly) we here can all relate to nights like those. Sometimes they are the wake up call that we need.
It is nasty day (weather wise) here on the east coast. I'm having Florida withdrawals at this point. Must haul my butt into work now in spite of the weather.
I'm getting back on the purple bus....I think it's time to stock up on some non-alcoholic beverages for the weekend!
Have a good day, all.
Laura
It is nasty day (weather wise) here on the east coast. I'm having Florida withdrawals at this point. Must haul my butt into work now in spite of the weather.
I'm getting back on the purple bus....I think it's time to stock up on some non-alcoholic beverages for the weekend!
Have a good day, all.
Laura
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
We had the remanents of Ida here Tuesday and a bit yesterday. I hope it passes quickly for all of you in the path of what remains.
KC-glad you are feeling better this morning.
This is a wonderful supportive group..I hope all of us here on the August thread can continue to support our recovery....
KC-glad you are feeling better this morning.
This is a wonderful supportive group..I hope all of us here on the August thread can continue to support our recovery....
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
KC, stop that. I reckon a lot of us are used to being rejected for a little transgression... August group would be empty if we followed that practice.
Well, y'all, I finally couldn't take it...
And as a result, I am now moving...
Gotta go back to LA (spent last night there--no way I feel like coming home to Hell), but I'll be back later.
Yesterday I spent the day playing around on a guitar and enjoying my old 'hood... they still remember me, they were shocked at how thin and sad I looked. I emailed Housing from Kinko's. Right now I had a meeting with the 2nd in command, and I'm moving to a new apartment. Hopefully (pray for me/hope for me/whatever suits your tendencies... I'm not picky here) it'll work out. You'd think it would, based on odds alone... and I am not a betting woman. Just know math.
LA was bad and good for me. I had 18 days, starting all over... soon. The news that I was moving was enough motivation for me... I didn't like the bottle from the moment I cracked it (and all my friends were against me drinking it, but....). It was done in a moment of desperation... kinda like a vent release. Hopefully I can keep it to two bottles (ain't that the saddest 'moderation' we all done ever heard...). No reason for more--sad, honest truth this was more scientific than from the heart. I couldn't bear the idea of going home... sober.
I really really really hope that this next roommate situation is better. I truly thought I had what it took to stay sober, and I might have if not for this (not trying to make excuses... I did what I did with eyes wide open). I think I can go back and do it again... 20, 40 80 days maybe.
Brent, the irony... I got a list of food banks from the doctor... my church is on the (short) list. I've been wondering about it, as far as what kind of programs (it's a fairly large parish) they might have, and you know what I think I will go over there and ask--they may have something for sobriety. The irony, I keep hearing everybody talk bad about AA for being too God-oriented, I can't get with a lot of the concepts of AA because of its contradiction to many things I believe. I got nothing to lose... pretty sure they'll still let me into mass.
So that's what's happening in Bubbaland...
Anono, how are you doing?
I am so sorry y'all, but it don't feel the same as even the other times I went out... this was done for self-protection (mental) and with the need gone, there is no desire...
Take care of y'all selves,
TB
Well, y'all, I finally couldn't take it...
And as a result, I am now moving...
Gotta go back to LA (spent last night there--no way I feel like coming home to Hell), but I'll be back later.
Yesterday I spent the day playing around on a guitar and enjoying my old 'hood... they still remember me, they were shocked at how thin and sad I looked. I emailed Housing from Kinko's. Right now I had a meeting with the 2nd in command, and I'm moving to a new apartment. Hopefully (pray for me/hope for me/whatever suits your tendencies... I'm not picky here) it'll work out. You'd think it would, based on odds alone... and I am not a betting woman. Just know math.
LA was bad and good for me. I had 18 days, starting all over... soon. The news that I was moving was enough motivation for me... I didn't like the bottle from the moment I cracked it (and all my friends were against me drinking it, but....). It was done in a moment of desperation... kinda like a vent release. Hopefully I can keep it to two bottles (ain't that the saddest 'moderation' we all done ever heard...). No reason for more--sad, honest truth this was more scientific than from the heart. I couldn't bear the idea of going home... sober.
I really really really hope that this next roommate situation is better. I truly thought I had what it took to stay sober, and I might have if not for this (not trying to make excuses... I did what I did with eyes wide open). I think I can go back and do it again... 20, 40 80 days maybe.
Brent, the irony... I got a list of food banks from the doctor... my church is on the (short) list. I've been wondering about it, as far as what kind of programs (it's a fairly large parish) they might have, and you know what I think I will go over there and ask--they may have something for sobriety. The irony, I keep hearing everybody talk bad about AA for being too God-oriented, I can't get with a lot of the concepts of AA because of its contradiction to many things I believe. I got nothing to lose... pretty sure they'll still let me into mass.
So that's what's happening in Bubbaland...
Anono, how are you doing?
I am so sorry y'all, but it don't feel the same as even the other times I went out... this was done for self-protection (mental) and with the need gone, there is no desire...
Take care of y'all selves,
TB
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
I found this site recently working on something else - might be useful...might not be...
don't be misled by the title - it looks a really helpful resource link TB
I Hate My Life
D
don't be misled by the title - it looks a really helpful resource link TB
I Hate My Life
D
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
HI....how is everyone?
I am fine. Just ate some great Mexican food (Chipotle) and have to take my daughter to the art store. Had 3 parent teacher conferences and work today. So, I am tired. I am so ready to relax and stay in (that is, after the art store). May stop off at Trader Joe's for my favorite beverages (all non-alcoholic, of course!) and favorite snacks and mint CC ice cream (it is right next to the art store).
I'm kind of mellow today, so I guess that's a good thing!
Hope everyone is good
I am fine. Just ate some great Mexican food (Chipotle) and have to take my daughter to the art store. Had 3 parent teacher conferences and work today. So, I am tired. I am so ready to relax and stay in (that is, after the art store). May stop off at Trader Joe's for my favorite beverages (all non-alcoholic, of course!) and favorite snacks and mint CC ice cream (it is right next to the art store).
I'm kind of mellow today, so I guess that's a good thing!
Hope everyone is good
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
Hello - how is everyone doing tonight? I just got home from work - ugh. What a day. I drove over 200 miles in this storm - it was brutal. Some of the roads were closed and I had to do detours, etc. etc. What a mess. Hopefully it's over.
Did anyone notice that I said "I" drove over 200 miles today? My hubby decided he would not accompany me in my travels because "anyone who went through what you did on Tuesday night probably does not want to drink anything." HA HA. Whatever. My only problem today was more car problems and not even my own. Pulled into the office parking lot in a blinding rainstorm, wind gusting up to 70mph and when I got out of the car, the windgust grabbed my car door and flung it into the car next to mine. Major damage, not just a small ding. A big nasty dent. Great. I went into the office and asked who the car belonged to ... of course it was one of our staff members. I told her what happened and she looked like she would cry. We did not go back outside cuz it was raining sideways, but you can see from the window that it was pretty bad. By the time I left, it was dark outside and you couldn't see very well. I am sure that tomorrow I will be getting a call that it is some major damage. I am not a car person, but I am guessing she will have to have her entire door repaired and repainted. Probably run me about $2,000. At least this one was an act of nature, and not the act of a drunk. LOL.
Went to the cocktail hour and dinner and hardly anyone was drinking cuz of the weather. A few others had to drive as far as I did and did not want to take any chances. Most people were drinking coffee. So that was good. I had NO desire to drink at all, but it did help that most others didn't either.
I have cried a couple times today while on the long drive - I miss my friend. It feels like raw grief, almost like he died. It really, really hurts bad. I did not text him or try to call him. I did the bad deed, sent an apology text yesterday and now I will just lay low. He may come around, he may not. I decided that I will give it a few weeks...I will not try to contact him again....maybe wait till Thanksgiving. If I have not heard from him by then, I will call and wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. If he has not contacted me by then, I know he will not take the call, I will just leave a VM. Maybe I can slowly repair the relationship over time. I hope so. So for now, I am trying to keep my mind busy with other things. Its the long drives that will hurt the most - when I have time to think about all of this mess. The rest of the work day I can stay pretty busy. At home I have all of you to think about! :-)
Our annual Caribbean vacation is coming up on December 30th and we will be away till January 15th. Of course, this will be the hardest for me - this is a "it's five o'clock somewhere" kind of vacation and it's five o'clock at 10am on that island. However, I'm putting that out of my mind - going to take it one day at a time. I did it yesterday, I did it today. I will do it tomorrow, too. Pretty soon, I will have done it all the way to December 30th.
TB - glad you are going to your church for help. I am not a church goer, but have been thinking about it. There are three churches within 1/2 mile of my house. I did try the local AA groups "last time I tried this", and it just did not work for me. I haven't been to a church in 40 years (other than weddings or funerals). But again, I may try it.
Anyone heard of any "online meetings"? Not like us here on the forums, but "live" meetings? I might try that. I am willing to try anything right now. Oh, I did go online and fine a few websites where you can meet other people in your area who have similar interests and are looking for friendship. I posted a message on two sites - we'll see what happens.
Well, that's about it for now. Going to go to bed...me and my friend Ambien. Need another good nights sleep. Trying to shake my "grief." Tomorrow is another busy day.
KC
Did anyone notice that I said "I" drove over 200 miles today? My hubby decided he would not accompany me in my travels because "anyone who went through what you did on Tuesday night probably does not want to drink anything." HA HA. Whatever. My only problem today was more car problems and not even my own. Pulled into the office parking lot in a blinding rainstorm, wind gusting up to 70mph and when I got out of the car, the windgust grabbed my car door and flung it into the car next to mine. Major damage, not just a small ding. A big nasty dent. Great. I went into the office and asked who the car belonged to ... of course it was one of our staff members. I told her what happened and she looked like she would cry. We did not go back outside cuz it was raining sideways, but you can see from the window that it was pretty bad. By the time I left, it was dark outside and you couldn't see very well. I am sure that tomorrow I will be getting a call that it is some major damage. I am not a car person, but I am guessing she will have to have her entire door repaired and repainted. Probably run me about $2,000. At least this one was an act of nature, and not the act of a drunk. LOL.
Went to the cocktail hour and dinner and hardly anyone was drinking cuz of the weather. A few others had to drive as far as I did and did not want to take any chances. Most people were drinking coffee. So that was good. I had NO desire to drink at all, but it did help that most others didn't either.
I have cried a couple times today while on the long drive - I miss my friend. It feels like raw grief, almost like he died. It really, really hurts bad. I did not text him or try to call him. I did the bad deed, sent an apology text yesterday and now I will just lay low. He may come around, he may not. I decided that I will give it a few weeks...I will not try to contact him again....maybe wait till Thanksgiving. If I have not heard from him by then, I will call and wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. If he has not contacted me by then, I know he will not take the call, I will just leave a VM. Maybe I can slowly repair the relationship over time. I hope so. So for now, I am trying to keep my mind busy with other things. Its the long drives that will hurt the most - when I have time to think about all of this mess. The rest of the work day I can stay pretty busy. At home I have all of you to think about! :-)
Our annual Caribbean vacation is coming up on December 30th and we will be away till January 15th. Of course, this will be the hardest for me - this is a "it's five o'clock somewhere" kind of vacation and it's five o'clock at 10am on that island. However, I'm putting that out of my mind - going to take it one day at a time. I did it yesterday, I did it today. I will do it tomorrow, too. Pretty soon, I will have done it all the way to December 30th.
TB - glad you are going to your church for help. I am not a church goer, but have been thinking about it. There are three churches within 1/2 mile of my house. I did try the local AA groups "last time I tried this", and it just did not work for me. I haven't been to a church in 40 years (other than weddings or funerals). But again, I may try it.
Anyone heard of any "online meetings"? Not like us here on the forums, but "live" meetings? I might try that. I am willing to try anything right now. Oh, I did go online and fine a few websites where you can meet other people in your area who have similar interests and are looking for friendship. I posted a message on two sites - we'll see what happens.
Well, that's about it for now. Going to go to bed...me and my friend Ambien. Need another good nights sleep. Trying to shake my "grief." Tomorrow is another busy day.
KC
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
In re seeking help at church... yes, I have been a church goer, but that doesn't make it any easier... If anything, possibly harder.
But I'm at a point where I'm willing to try things I wouldn't have otherwise.
What can I say.
I either stop this now, or it goes on... forever?
I don't like this rollercoaster. The emotional one of sobriety is better somehow. I don't like thinking I was through earlier today, only to find out I wasn't quite done... The shaking, the lack of alcohol, the need--this is no fun y'all.
And it's only been two days back on the bottle.
Something's gotta give--and I don't mean with this liquor and I don't mean with this lifestyle--something's gotta give in me, else I'm never gonna accept it, never gonna take what has been given me.
I thought I had it...maybe I still do. This, I don't want this y'all. So why am I still reaching for the bottle?
Take care,
TB
But I'm at a point where I'm willing to try things I wouldn't have otherwise.
What can I say.
I either stop this now, or it goes on... forever?
I don't like this rollercoaster. The emotional one of sobriety is better somehow. I don't like thinking I was through earlier today, only to find out I wasn't quite done... The shaking, the lack of alcohol, the need--this is no fun y'all.
And it's only been two days back on the bottle.
Something's gotta give--and I don't mean with this liquor and I don't mean with this lifestyle--something's gotta give in me, else I'm never gonna accept it, never gonna take what has been given me.
I thought I had it...maybe I still do. This, I don't want this y'all. So why am I still reaching for the bottle?
Take care,
TB
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
maybe you're just in 'the zone', Bubba - reason doesn't apply there and you live as long as your next drink.
It's a pretty crappy place to be - what are you gonna do when yr money runs out?
Put the plug in the jug TB
D
It's a pretty crappy place to be - what are you gonna do when yr money runs out?
Put the plug in the jug TB
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 711
KC you are in my thoughts and prayers. Have you thought about therapy? It helps me a lot.
TJ, glad you are doing well
TB, what Dee said- put the plug in the jug. You were doing so well. You can do it again.
Hello to Purple cat, Anew, tallcactus, anono, vicious cycle, brent and anyone I have not mentioned!
I am doing okay, been going through a case of the blahs. I think I have been too much in my head lately and not having enough conscious contact with my HP through prayer and meditation. I am working on changing that.
Anew, I did try a new group and I enjoyed it. I had gone a few days without talking to my sponsor and I was worried she was mad at me because of that.
I talked to her though and she is cool with me going to different meetings, which is good. I am going to continue to go to new groups.
TJ, glad you are doing well
TB, what Dee said- put the plug in the jug. You were doing so well. You can do it again.
Hello to Purple cat, Anew, tallcactus, anono, vicious cycle, brent and anyone I have not mentioned!
I am doing okay, been going through a case of the blahs. I think I have been too much in my head lately and not having enough conscious contact with my HP through prayer and meditation. I am working on changing that.
Anew, I did try a new group and I enjoyed it. I had gone a few days without talking to my sponsor and I was worried she was mad at me because of that.
I talked to her though and she is cool with me going to different meetings, which is good. I am going to continue to go to new groups.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
KC-glad to hear you are feeling better, and that you are safe and sober...
TB-please take care of you, I care about you.
Bananagrrrl...glad you found a group you like, and that you shared this with your sponsor. I hear you about taking that time to pray and meditate. When I do that each day, it truly helps. How many days do you have now?
To all...have a good Friday the 13th.....
TB-please take care of you, I care about you.
Bananagrrrl...glad you found a group you like, and that you shared this with your sponsor. I hear you about taking that time to pray and meditate. When I do that each day, it truly helps. How many days do you have now?
To all...have a good Friday the 13th.....
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