colagirl

I had 10 days off over the holidays and immediately started doing the same thing. I wish my job would allow me to be a night owl!

...looks like you are still online tho... (insert tapping smilie which I can't find)

Ananda

A great day....my son is having drinking dreams about me :rotfxko

I told him they will probably fade in time, but he may always have them on occations...I mean...he knows as well as I do that no matter how many days, months or years I am sober....It is possible I will drink again...

It's sad to have your son live through your bottom with you

Still a good day though...lots done, great meeting, time with friends

Ananda

ok..so...

I think when you are so into cleaning and organizing that you feel compelled to iron your underwear....

You have probably crossed a line that shouldn't be crossed

:wtf2

Ananda

wow..got everything done to clean my house except the closets and vacuming the bedroom...er..well i haven't tackled the computer room where i have boxes from my move almost a year ago....but those should all be done by the end of this week *insert smiley..over limit)

Job interview tomarrow and 3 more open positions on campus

And the treatment center is letting me only pay "what I can" for the next 3 months to give me a chance to get a job and a budget they will even extend that if necessary

If I end up an agnostic...are you all gonna freak????

allport

Oh no :O not an agnostic, the shame of it!!!

Just kidding hun why would anyone care, you can become an Islamic convert for all it matters

I am glad that things are going well and hope they continue to get better :ghug3

allport

Oops I have just realised that what I said might sound a bit dismissive

If you are having some king of mental shift and it is making you feel better then that is great.

You know that whatever happens I will be there to support you (hug) x

Dee74

I have only one thing to say Nands...join usssssssssssssssssssssss


LOL
D

Ananda

lol I knew that alley :ghug3

It feels a little strange to be considering some shifts in some major beliefs I have...believe me I'm going to keep my feet rooted firmly in science...but...this is a dificult re-evaluation of things for me....and how ever i turn out aitheist, agnostic, or something else...yet to be determined

anyhow....job interview went well...gotta figure out if I will really be willing to live at 1/3 my salary...or if it's even possible....

The employer has been very honest and upfront and I don't think i can take the job if I know I won't stay....

I have apps in for 3 jobs, all of which pay a lot more...but all of which are with the university...

I don't wanna take a job that will become an excuse to drink.....not till i have some more security in my sobriety

Ananda

sigh.......

Ananda

Had a really good day today....busy but satisfying....

Had dinner tonight with a table of about 30...I mostly spoke to one couple across the table...but it was such a joy....not a drinker in the bunch!

of course i got lots of positive attention, and i really really think want my joy to be based on that...I mean it's good to get positive affirmations from outside, but if I always get it there...not sure i'll learn to get it from inside myself...and if I don't have it inside myself...I'll only have the bottle to fill that need when others are busy...


So work to do but I'll get there

Ananda

Letting go isn't easy for me...

I can't let go in my heart or head easily..I don't seem to have control of how and when that happens, but...

I can take actions of willingness to let go....

So what I did, was set myself a 4 day limit on posting to this thread. If no one shows up for 4 days I need to let the thread sink....if someone needs it, they will "resurect" it

I'm not upset...and i sorta figure one of you will dig it up later....I just don't see much value in me posting about me...seems rather self centered to be honest...

I think I would be of more use to others if I post elsewhere for now

love you all (biggest hug)

Dee74

the thread might be quiet Nands - it doesn't mean that the friendships are over or nuthin
:ghug3

Don't let me count in your 4 day thing - I'm always here LOL
D

allport

I am around Nands I just don't have a lot to say at the moment.

I'm trying to get some kind of work ethic thing going with my study, I've got two courses on the go at the moment and I don't want to be leaving it all until the day before it is due in like I normally do.

I am not posting anywhere really so it's not just this thread.

FizzyWater

Its allowed that you do work before the day before its due Ally !!!!!!!!!!!

Never done that.

I'll go back to doing the self centred thing Nands mentions !!!!!!!!!!

We're all ruining her 4 day mylarky thing as well, sorry Nands.

Why don't you want anyone posting here for 4 days ?

Ananda

ok...forget it

I visited with H&R block....my tax refund is smaller than expected about half...but it should still be enough to see me through another 6 weeks without pay....longer if i find some temp work.

sobriety is going fine right now....and the rest of my life is amazingly straightening out except on the job thing...and i haven't put enough energy into that really....I'll be going full speed on that next week...still have 4 applications out...hopeing for interviews.

Dee74

lol.
D

FizzyWater

Think we've blown it again Dee mate, too quick, sorry Nands, maybe we should just take baby steps at this no posting thing rather than just straight going for 4 days, kinda nacks the one day at a time thingy as well !!!!!!!!!!!!

Whats the prize if we do the 4 days ?

Dee74

Dammit Fiz, I had 2 days going there...

LOL D

Ananda

Five minites in a private chat room with no moderator...and this lovey young thing

Ananda

I have a selfish and selfcentered need for attention



thats my 10th step :rotfxko

snirkle