Codependency and Beyond Part 7
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 1,221
You are reading from The Language of Letting Go by Melodie Beattie
September 16
REVENGE
No matter how long we've been recovering, no matter how solid our spiritual ground, we may still feel an overwhelming desire at times to punish, or get even, with another person.
We want revenge.
We want to see the other person hurt the way he or she has hurt us. We want to see life deal that person just rewards. In fact, we would like to help life out.
Those are normal feelings, but we do not have to act on them. These feelings are part of our anger but it's not our job to deal justice.
We can allow ourselves to feel the anger. It is helpful to go one step deeper and let ourselves feel the other feelings--hurt, the pain, the anguish. But our goal is to release the feeling, and be finished with them.
We can hold the other person accountable. We can hold the other person responsible. But it is not our responsibility to be judge and jury. Actively seeking revenge will not help us. It will block us and hold us back.
Walk away. Stop playinng the game. Unhook. Learn your lesson. Thank the other person for having taught you something valuable. And be finished with it. Put it behind, with the lesson intact.
Acceptance helps. So does forgiveness--not the kind that invites that person to use us again, but a forgiveness that releases the other person and sets him or her free to walk a separate path, while releasing our anger and resentments. That sets us free to walk our own path.
Today, I will be as angry as I need to be, with a goal of finishing my business with others. Once I have released my hurt and anger, I will strive for healthy forgiveness--forgiveness with boundaries. I understand that boundaries, coupled with forgiveness and compassion, will move me forward.
September 16
REVENGE
No matter how long we've been recovering, no matter how solid our spiritual ground, we may still feel an overwhelming desire at times to punish, or get even, with another person.
We want revenge.
We want to see the other person hurt the way he or she has hurt us. We want to see life deal that person just rewards. In fact, we would like to help life out.
Those are normal feelings, but we do not have to act on them. These feelings are part of our anger but it's not our job to deal justice.
We can allow ourselves to feel the anger. It is helpful to go one step deeper and let ourselves feel the other feelings--hurt, the pain, the anguish. But our goal is to release the feeling, and be finished with them.
We can hold the other person accountable. We can hold the other person responsible. But it is not our responsibility to be judge and jury. Actively seeking revenge will not help us. It will block us and hold us back.
Walk away. Stop playinng the game. Unhook. Learn your lesson. Thank the other person for having taught you something valuable. And be finished with it. Put it behind, with the lesson intact.
Acceptance helps. So does forgiveness--not the kind that invites that person to use us again, but a forgiveness that releases the other person and sets him or her free to walk a separate path, while releasing our anger and resentments. That sets us free to walk our own path.
Today, I will be as angry as I need to be, with a goal of finishing my business with others. Once I have released my hurt and anger, I will strive for healthy forgiveness--forgiveness with boundaries. I understand that boundaries, coupled with forgiveness and compassion, will move me forward.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Amy :ghug3 I think things will start to turn around soon!
Lisa, are you primed and ready to take over our daily readings for a bit?! You are going to do a great job. Please take care of yourself so that you can continue to enjoy your new-found freedom!!!
Hugs to all! I've nothing much to add right now as I'm just crazy busy getting ready for the wedding etc.
Blessings......HG
Lisa, are you primed and ready to take over our daily readings for a bit?! You are going to do a great job. Please take care of yourself so that you can continue to enjoy your new-found freedom!!!
Hugs to all! I've nothing much to add right now as I'm just crazy busy getting ready for the wedding etc.
Blessings......HG
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 346
((Amy))...We will all storm heaven with our prayers. Someone mentioned that if your name comes up before him enough...he might just say...OK, here you go... for some peace....LOL...I believe it...in fact I think there's a bible verse similar to that.
I'm rejoining a bible study next week that I had stopped going to when the crap hit the fan with AS. They are a great bunch of ladies who are very accepting (since all of us are very imperfect). I like it so much better than the churches I have been to of late where I just don't seem to fit in with the Sunday morning crowd. Hope that doesn't sound judgemental....it's just that I've tried for years to form relationships in traditional churchs...and it doesn't seem to work. I'm not a traditional wife sort...and I dunno...I guess I turn some people off.
Anyway..please pray that the bible study will be a place where I can heal and offer healing to others.
You are all on my mind a lot. Thanks for your support and encouragment.
Annie
I'm rejoining a bible study next week that I had stopped going to when the crap hit the fan with AS. They are a great bunch of ladies who are very accepting (since all of us are very imperfect). I like it so much better than the churches I have been to of late where I just don't seem to fit in with the Sunday morning crowd. Hope that doesn't sound judgemental....it's just that I've tried for years to form relationships in traditional churchs...and it doesn't seem to work. I'm not a traditional wife sort...and I dunno...I guess I turn some people off.
Anyway..please pray that the bible study will be a place where I can heal and offer healing to others.
You are all on my mind a lot. Thanks for your support and encouragment.
Annie
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
I will start tomorrow, take a break girl!
Just to let you all know, we may have some early readings, and we may have some late ones as I am not sure I will have net this weekend=)
Amy, its coming!! I just know it is. We need one of those dang readings on patience haha.
hugs to everyone else
Just to let you all know, we may have some early readings, and we may have some late ones as I am not sure I will have net this weekend=)
Amy, its coming!! I just know it is. We need one of those dang readings on patience haha.
hugs to everyone else
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Okay, this may be long but it has been one of the worst days in my recent life (but I'm not letting it get me down). I can feel all your prayers and good thoughts, and I think that's what kept me from falling apart in my SECOND wreck today...yep, and both my fault.
My day started with me calling the lawyer. I was hoping more for someone who dealt with workman's comp AND obnoxious behavior by the company, but they deal with the workman's comp only. When she took all the information, she asked me exactly what I wanted, and I said "I want my life back, and I truly believe that's not going to happen without therapy". I said something about looking for another job, as my boss is going out of his way to make me miserable and she said "be very, very careful about getting another job, but the lawyer will go over that when she calls you back".
Talk about feeling like I got hit with a ton of bricks! I'm doing all this to get another job, and they're insinuating not to do that? Not to mention I still don't know if I have a clue as to whether I can sue my company..need to look through the 100's of lawyers to see if I can find one that appeals to me online and call them.
At that point, I decided to wait to talk to the lawyer before going to the restauant today. If she hasn't called tomorrow, I'll go anyway. I'm thinking I can use it as a main job (but tell current job it's my 3rd job) and see if I can cut hours at work. One of the new servers they hired us, that we didn't need, got suspended for something totally stupid. He'd already said he needed another job because business was so slow. After the suspension, he got a job as asst. mgr. at Aaron rentals and cut back his days at oUR job to just Sat. and Sun. so he may have helped set a precedent for me.
I called my dentist as my tooth was KILLING me and she said they could see me if I got there in 30 minutes. I made it in 28 minutes. They said the tooth could be saved with root canal and crown, I told her I have no money, so they took it out. I no longer have ANY bottom back teeth, thanks to soft teeth (according to a dentist years before addictin ) and addiction. They said I will need a partial, soon, or it will mess up my top teety. Gee, like Ijust happen to have $650 minimum in my pocket.
On my way to get my hair cut, roads are wet and I'm thinking of all the things I can't pay, worried that I'm going to be stuck at this job and run into the back of a Toyota Avalon. Her car got more scruffed up, mine needed a new bumper. A very nice cop gave me a ticket for following too close. What's bad, is I had already DONE this, but it was a bit truck and it just hit his trailer hitch.
Just a few miles down the road...same thing, but this time I hit a jeep and caued him to hit a chevy Tahoe or some other SUV. Pouring down rain! I had all my precriptions in a plastic bag..didn't want to open my purse in an interview and them see all the pills. The sheriff who first stopped saw me putting them back in there.
When the same cop who had just given me a ticket came back, he asked me what type of medicine I was on. I told him, also told him I was a recovering addict and that "I don't play with drugs". I still had to do a field sobriety test. I didn't exactly pass the heel-to-toe which i just can't do, and could only stand on one leg, the other outstretched for15 seconds instead of 30. I said "did I fail" and he lauged and said "if ou did,you'd be in handcuffs". He wrote me another ticket for following close, said "you've had a bad day, you're tired, go home and get some rest, okay?" He was the nicest cop I've ever met in this county.
I still had to get my hair cut, did that, and now I'm home. I'm taking tomorrow off as a mental day. i think I deserve it. I have NO idea where I'm going to come up with teh car tag and emmissions testing money but dad will help me if he can.
The BEST part of today is that I know it's just a bad day....good days are coming soon.
Hugs and prayers!!
Amy
My day started with me calling the lawyer. I was hoping more for someone who dealt with workman's comp AND obnoxious behavior by the company, but they deal with the workman's comp only. When she took all the information, she asked me exactly what I wanted, and I said "I want my life back, and I truly believe that's not going to happen without therapy". I said something about looking for another job, as my boss is going out of his way to make me miserable and she said "be very, very careful about getting another job, but the lawyer will go over that when she calls you back".
Talk about feeling like I got hit with a ton of bricks! I'm doing all this to get another job, and they're insinuating not to do that? Not to mention I still don't know if I have a clue as to whether I can sue my company..need to look through the 100's of lawyers to see if I can find one that appeals to me online and call them.
At that point, I decided to wait to talk to the lawyer before going to the restauant today. If she hasn't called tomorrow, I'll go anyway. I'm thinking I can use it as a main job (but tell current job it's my 3rd job) and see if I can cut hours at work. One of the new servers they hired us, that we didn't need, got suspended for something totally stupid. He'd already said he needed another job because business was so slow. After the suspension, he got a job as asst. mgr. at Aaron rentals and cut back his days at oUR job to just Sat. and Sun. so he may have helped set a precedent for me.
I called my dentist as my tooth was KILLING me and she said they could see me if I got there in 30 minutes. I made it in 28 minutes. They said the tooth could be saved with root canal and crown, I told her I have no money, so they took it out. I no longer have ANY bottom back teeth, thanks to soft teeth (according to a dentist years before addictin ) and addiction. They said I will need a partial, soon, or it will mess up my top teety. Gee, like Ijust happen to have $650 minimum in my pocket.
On my way to get my hair cut, roads are wet and I'm thinking of all the things I can't pay, worried that I'm going to be stuck at this job and run into the back of a Toyota Avalon. Her car got more scruffed up, mine needed a new bumper. A very nice cop gave me a ticket for following too close. What's bad, is I had already DONE this, but it was a bit truck and it just hit his trailer hitch.
Just a few miles down the road...same thing, but this time I hit a jeep and caued him to hit a chevy Tahoe or some other SUV. Pouring down rain! I had all my precriptions in a plastic bag..didn't want to open my purse in an interview and them see all the pills. The sheriff who first stopped saw me putting them back in there.
When the same cop who had just given me a ticket came back, he asked me what type of medicine I was on. I told him, also told him I was a recovering addict and that "I don't play with drugs". I still had to do a field sobriety test. I didn't exactly pass the heel-to-toe which i just can't do, and could only stand on one leg, the other outstretched for15 seconds instead of 30. I said "did I fail" and he lauged and said "if ou did,you'd be in handcuffs". He wrote me another ticket for following close, said "you've had a bad day, you're tired, go home and get some rest, okay?" He was the nicest cop I've ever met in this county.
I still had to get my hair cut, did that, and now I'm home. I'm taking tomorrow off as a mental day. i think I deserve it. I have NO idea where I'm going to come up with teh car tag and emmissions testing money but dad will help me if he can.
The BEST part of today is that I know it's just a bad day....good days are coming soon.
Hugs and prayers!!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Lisa))) - I figure this is HP's way of making absolutely SURE that I appreciate the good stuff when it comes
I guess the REALLY good part is I didn't have to use over any of it, and I didn't come home and take it out on any of my family. They are being very supportive of me, and letting me have my space.
I'm taking tomorrow as a "mental regroup day". Been trying to walk for 3 days but it's been pouring down rain, but maybe tomorrow there will be enough time to sneak in a walk.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I guess the REALLY good part is I didn't have to use over any of it, and I didn't come home and take it out on any of my family. They are being very supportive of me, and letting me have my space.
I'm taking tomorrow as a "mental regroup day". Been trying to walk for 3 days but it's been pouring down rain, but maybe tomorrow there will be enough time to sneak in a walk.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
I don't know how to 'detach with love' from my youngest, defiant kid. I'm still legally and morally responsible for her so on days like today;, when I have a cleaning job I really need, I can't go as I'm waiting for her to get up and get ready, very late, to go to school very late. I just don't know what to do, other than go in her room and slap the sh!t out of her lazy @ss...But I don't want to do that... so I'm just waiting for her to get up and get going so I can take her to school and get to my tiny little job, for which I really need the money...
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Thursday, September 17, 2009
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
New Relationship Behaviors
We talk much about new relationship behaviors in recovery: allowing others to be themselves without over reacting and taking it personally, and owning our power to take care of ourselves. We talk about letting go of our need to control, focusing on self-responsibility, and not setting ourselves up to be victims by focusing on the other person while neglecting ourselves. We talk about having and setting healthy boundaries, talking directly, and taking responsibility for what we want and need.
While these behaviors certainly help us deal with addicted people, these are not behaviors intended only for use in what we call "dysfunctional relationships."
These behaviors are our new relationship behaviors. They help us in stressful relationships. They can help us get through times of stress in healthy relationships.
The recovery behaviors we are learning are tools - healthy relationship skills - that help us improve the quality of all our relationships.
Recovery means self-care - learning to take care of ourselves and love ourselves - with people. The healthier we become, the healthier our relationships will become. And we'll never outgrow our need for healthy behaviors.
Today, I will remember to apply my recovery behaviors in all my relationships - with friends and co-workers, as well as in any special love relationship. I will work hard at taking care of myself in the troublesome relationships, figuring out which skill might best apply. I will also consider ways that my healthy relationships might benefit from my new relationship skills.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
New Relationship Behaviors
We talk much about new relationship behaviors in recovery: allowing others to be themselves without over reacting and taking it personally, and owning our power to take care of ourselves. We talk about letting go of our need to control, focusing on self-responsibility, and not setting ourselves up to be victims by focusing on the other person while neglecting ourselves. We talk about having and setting healthy boundaries, talking directly, and taking responsibility for what we want and need.
While these behaviors certainly help us deal with addicted people, these are not behaviors intended only for use in what we call "dysfunctional relationships."
These behaviors are our new relationship behaviors. They help us in stressful relationships. They can help us get through times of stress in healthy relationships.
The recovery behaviors we are learning are tools - healthy relationship skills - that help us improve the quality of all our relationships.
Recovery means self-care - learning to take care of ourselves and love ourselves - with people. The healthier we become, the healthier our relationships will become. And we'll never outgrow our need for healthy behaviors.
Today, I will remember to apply my recovery behaviors in all my relationships - with friends and co-workers, as well as in any special love relationship. I will work hard at taking care of myself in the troublesome relationships, figuring out which skill might best apply. I will also consider ways that my healthy relationships might benefit from my new relationship skills.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Wow, today's reading hits hard for me, and sounds like it applies to your situation too Least.
When my daughter started failing classes, I fought hard at first. I grounded her, yelled, all sorts of unpleasantness. The exact same things my parents had done "for me".
Then I remembered how little all of my parents controlling tactics had worked on me, and I let go.
This was before I began recovery and met you all, but I knew subconsciously that A) all of my stress and effort was just hurting both she and I and B) she was going to be fine, which ever path she walked at that moment.
What happens if she doesn't show up Least? If she is the one who gets in trouble, I suggest you leave her in bed. When she gets in trouble calmly remind her she made the choice not to go. If the school comes after you, have you tried talking to the school counselor and telling them she wont listen to you?
Good luck~
When my daughter started failing classes, I fought hard at first. I grounded her, yelled, all sorts of unpleasantness. The exact same things my parents had done "for me".
Then I remembered how little all of my parents controlling tactics had worked on me, and I let go.
This was before I began recovery and met you all, but I knew subconsciously that A) all of my stress and effort was just hurting both she and I and B) she was going to be fine, which ever path she walked at that moment.
What happens if she doesn't show up Least? If she is the one who gets in trouble, I suggest you leave her in bed. When she gets in trouble calmly remind her she made the choice not to go. If the school comes after you, have you tried talking to the school counselor and telling them she wont listen to you?
Good luck~
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Her school said the police could take her to school. I gave her the choice and she wants me to take her. i've got a migraine right now as big as this whole house. All i want is to be rid of her. there's no love left, only hate and resentment and disgust and dislike. I'm forced to have her in my house and she brings nothing but pain and anger. I can't "step back" as she 's thrown me into the middle of this sh!t. I am lost and afraid. and very angry...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 346
(((Least))) Let go, but don't give up. I totally agree that you need to let her "make her own bed and lie it. Let the police take her to school once. I'm pretty sure she won't want it to happen again.
I am still working through it, but I wanted to divorce my son when he started using and telling me things I wanted to hear...and then blowing me off and doing whatever he wanted anyway. He would talk back, and ignore me, and stay out all night and he even forgot my birthday..not even a "happy birthday" mom. Instead he went on a road trip with friends with money he didn't have. All this made my physically ill. We he got busted by the cops...it woke him up a little. I wanted to get an attorney and fight the charges (since the cops really screwed up. I have since found out that we could have easily gotten the charges dropped since the cops violated nearly all of my son's rights)...but we decided to let him get out of this trouble himself.
He's living at home now...but I rarely call him anymore. If he skips class...he get's an F I guess. It kills me since he used to be a straight A student...but with help from wise friends...I realized if I keep bailing him out...he will continue in this helpless behavior.
It's been 5 months since the arrest...and he's finallyl starting to look like an adult...He made the college tennis team, joined the college newspaper and told me he is trying for straight A's this semester.
So...We all understand...and we are here for you to vent with and to pray for.
Hugs
Annie
I am still working through it, but I wanted to divorce my son when he started using and telling me things I wanted to hear...and then blowing me off and doing whatever he wanted anyway. He would talk back, and ignore me, and stay out all night and he even forgot my birthday..not even a "happy birthday" mom. Instead he went on a road trip with friends with money he didn't have. All this made my physically ill. We he got busted by the cops...it woke him up a little. I wanted to get an attorney and fight the charges (since the cops really screwed up. I have since found out that we could have easily gotten the charges dropped since the cops violated nearly all of my son's rights)...but we decided to let him get out of this trouble himself.
He's living at home now...but I rarely call him anymore. If he skips class...he get's an F I guess. It kills me since he used to be a straight A student...but with help from wise friends...I realized if I keep bailing him out...he will continue in this helpless behavior.
It's been 5 months since the arrest...and he's finallyl starting to look like an adult...He made the college tennis team, joined the college newspaper and told me he is trying for straight A's this semester.
So...We all understand...and we are here for you to vent with and to pray for.
Hugs
Annie
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
On the way to school "daddy dearest" called and wanted to talk to her. I could hear him screaming from his end. She hung up on him. So he called me back and screamed and cussed ME out and asked me "is this clear to you now??". I was bawling so I just said "yes" and hung up. Then had a long talk with the principal of the school. He is going to talk to her....
I'm praying to God for peace of mind cause I sure don't have any of my own. I'm so depressed over this mess I can't think straight. I am just praying for peace of mind... and, how unkind of me, praying for 'daddy dearest' to just drop off the face of the earth and never bother me again...
Years ago, when we were still miserably together, I used to have a fantasy that a state patrol cop came to my house in the middle of the night to tell me that my bf was dead... and my reaction was... "are you sure??" I still feel this way about him. If you think he's dead, kick him really hard to make sure he's truly dead...
I'm praying to God for peace of mind cause I sure don't have any of my own. I'm so depressed over this mess I can't think straight. I am just praying for peace of mind... and, how unkind of me, praying for 'daddy dearest' to just drop off the face of the earth and never bother me again...
Years ago, when we were still miserably together, I used to have a fantasy that a state patrol cop came to my house in the middle of the night to tell me that my bf was dead... and my reaction was... "are you sure??" I still feel this way about him. If you think he's dead, kick him really hard to make sure he's truly dead...
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Dear Least,
You are not a bother to us, we are just not all on-line all the time. I can only just imagine how hard your day has been and how frustrating it is to be legally responsible for a minor who refuses to behave. What did the principal say? What mechanisms are in place in the school system to ensure that she does what she needs to do to graduate? Just because SHE wants you to take her, does not mean you are obligated if the choice is you or the police. I say let her deal with the embarrassment of having a police officer pick her up from the house and take her to the school.
Other than screaming at you and telling you its all your fault (which its not, I assure you), what has your exH done to help in any way? If nothing, then guess what--he has lost the right to complain. In the future, perhaps only written communication with him, except in the case of emergencies, would be best.
Easier said than done (and you can ask Amy about how hard it is), when the child is screaming like an insane, spoiled little human, it is usually best to just remain calm and say things like "Gee, I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way". If she is given a choice or you set a boundary, if you don't follow through with the consequence, then she will continue to believe that she can run all over you. It is hard, but it does work.
We cannot move to your location and physically help you with your child. However, we can empathize and sympathize and offer any support we can for you. Sarcasm like the statement above may feel good to you in the moment, but does not help you in the long run. Please continue to post and vent and ask for ideas and we will continue to listen and share our experiences as best we can.
Huge cyber hugs and prayers to you and your children. HG
You are not a bother to us, we are just not all on-line all the time. I can only just imagine how hard your day has been and how frustrating it is to be legally responsible for a minor who refuses to behave. What did the principal say? What mechanisms are in place in the school system to ensure that she does what she needs to do to graduate? Just because SHE wants you to take her, does not mean you are obligated if the choice is you or the police. I say let her deal with the embarrassment of having a police officer pick her up from the house and take her to the school.
Other than screaming at you and telling you its all your fault (which its not, I assure you), what has your exH done to help in any way? If nothing, then guess what--he has lost the right to complain. In the future, perhaps only written communication with him, except in the case of emergencies, would be best.
Easier said than done (and you can ask Amy about how hard it is), when the child is screaming like an insane, spoiled little human, it is usually best to just remain calm and say things like "Gee, I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way". If she is given a choice or you set a boundary, if you don't follow through with the consequence, then she will continue to believe that she can run all over you. It is hard, but it does work.
We cannot move to your location and physically help you with your child. However, we can empathize and sympathize and offer any support we can for you. Sarcasm like the statement above may feel good to you in the moment, but does not help you in the long run. Please continue to post and vent and ask for ideas and we will continue to listen and share our experiences as best we can.
Huge cyber hugs and prayers to you and your children. HG
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
I am serving no purpose other than a rguing. best i leave here now and stay away. no one want s to hear me, I've had muc hprooof of that. I'm out of htere. it was nice know ing you all. not every one can be helped. some are hopeless cases. I'M ONE OF THOSE...
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
My dear woman you are NOT A HOPELESS CASE. No one is.....
You have had a very tough time with a very rebellious teenager!!!! Do I know how that feels....yeah. Exept mine is my future stepson who has actually threatened to kill 3 member of his own family. We live in fear that someday he will find out again where we live!
Please, you said you spoke with the principal.....how did that talk go? What was said?! Did the school administration offer any helpful tools or other advice? Have you spoken to the school counselor? Sometimes they have very good ideas about what may be able to turn a situation around with a student......
Don't go, don't give up, we care!!!! Of course we care!!!! Please stay and talk to us.
You have had a very tough time with a very rebellious teenager!!!! Do I know how that feels....yeah. Exept mine is my future stepson who has actually threatened to kill 3 member of his own family. We live in fear that someday he will find out again where we live!
Please, you said you spoke with the principal.....how did that talk go? What was said?! Did the school administration offer any helpful tools or other advice? Have you spoken to the school counselor? Sometimes they have very good ideas about what may be able to turn a situation around with a student......
Don't go, don't give up, we care!!!! Of course we care!!!! Please stay and talk to us.
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