Class of December-Part 4
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Happy Saturday !
Nothin new really here.. just pluggin along.
The closing on the house had to be pushed forward a bit, I HATE the mortagage industry.. I can't wait for laws to change so that there is some oversight and they aren't just private businesses with no one to be accountable to. Gr!
Had my 16 week appt, all looks well so far. I can feel the baby move a lot now, so that's awesome and freaky at the same time.
I hope you guys have a great weekend!
xox
Nothin new really here.. just pluggin along.
The closing on the house had to be pushed forward a bit, I HATE the mortagage industry.. I can't wait for laws to change so that there is some oversight and they aren't just private businesses with no one to be accountable to. Gr!
Had my 16 week appt, all looks well so far. I can feel the baby move a lot now, so that's awesome and freaky at the same time.
I hope you guys have a great weekend!
xox
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Ok Warren, I have to just say something. Chalk it up to another episode of tough love.. I almost reacted out of pure gut yesterday, decided to sleep on it, but my gut is the same.
Your posts lately have scared the crap out of me because the running theme to me has been “I am craving a drink.. I am still craving a drink, now I’m craving a drink”.
That worries me of course, but it is your life, and your recovery..
This last post, practically predicting ALL of our failure was a bit out of line for me. My first gut instinct was “how dare he even say that”, but I am probably just hormonal. I am frightened to say that what I’m reading here from you sounds like you’re setting up your own relapse. The mention of “at least we’ve all really tried” and “put a good amount of sober time in”… go against everything that MY sobriety is about. For me this was life or death, this was not a break, a test, a “am I strong enough to let it go for a while” thing, this is a life change, and I feel confident to say that I’ve made that change. I don’t know what your future holds, and I don’t know what your motivation for staying sober is ..
I wish you well, I care for you deeply.. and I know (hope?) you understand where I’m coming from.
In one of your posts out “there” you recommend newcomers coming here to read your story.. live the story you’d prefer to be read. I don’t know how helpful it would be for a newbie to come in here, honestly.
Sorry if I’m out of line.. I just had to say something instead of avoiding the Class
Your posts lately have scared the crap out of me because the running theme to me has been “I am craving a drink.. I am still craving a drink, now I’m craving a drink”.
That worries me of course, but it is your life, and your recovery..
This last post, practically predicting ALL of our failure was a bit out of line for me. My first gut instinct was “how dare he even say that”, but I am probably just hormonal. I am frightened to say that what I’m reading here from you sounds like you’re setting up your own relapse. The mention of “at least we’ve all really tried” and “put a good amount of sober time in”… go against everything that MY sobriety is about. For me this was life or death, this was not a break, a test, a “am I strong enough to let it go for a while” thing, this is a life change, and I feel confident to say that I’ve made that change. I don’t know what your future holds, and I don’t know what your motivation for staying sober is ..
I wish you well, I care for you deeply.. and I know (hope?) you understand where I’m coming from.
In one of your posts out “there” you recommend newcomers coming here to read your story.. live the story you’d prefer to be read. I don’t know how helpful it would be for a newbie to come in here, honestly.
Sorry if I’m out of line.. I just had to say something instead of avoiding the Class
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Hey Jess just so you know, I am 100% forever sober with you sister! I will never be able to make anyone who hasn't been there understand the horror of that morning, but I will never again invite anything (aliens, demons or booze!) to possess my body.
I read the slip threads, the struggles, the excuses and rationalizations, and they just make me ever so grateful that I am not going through that.
I love you Dori! I am still interested to hear what happened because even though in my heart I know I will never falter, I have done a thing or two in my days that I knew I would never do. . .
Warren, I guess you are just in a better place to be compassionate or at least relate to the relapsers (I made up a word!) because you can see yourself going there. It is as hard for me to picture how one ends up drinking again as it is for me to picture what it might feel like to be a watermelon.
Would it help just insisting to yourself that this IS a forever thing, and that you WONT ever drink again? Or would that be like me telling myself I can fly over and over again?
Love you all <3
btw Jess, I am not sure if you had many cravings for booze in the early stages of sobriety, but when I was preggers, I never thought of booze and the smell of people drinking kind of repulsed me. So "Life" may have given you an extra advantage towards firmly planting yourself in sobriety lucky girl, who knows.
I read the slip threads, the struggles, the excuses and rationalizations, and they just make me ever so grateful that I am not going through that.
I love you Dori! I am still interested to hear what happened because even though in my heart I know I will never falter, I have done a thing or two in my days that I knew I would never do. . .
Warren, I guess you are just in a better place to be compassionate or at least relate to the relapsers (I made up a word!) because you can see yourself going there. It is as hard for me to picture how one ends up drinking again as it is for me to picture what it might feel like to be a watermelon.
Would it help just insisting to yourself that this IS a forever thing, and that you WONT ever drink again? Or would that be like me telling myself I can fly over and over again?
Love you all <3
btw Jess, I am not sure if you had many cravings for booze in the early stages of sobriety, but when I was preggers, I never thought of booze and the smell of people drinking kind of repulsed me. So "Life" may have given you an extra advantage towards firmly planting yourself in sobriety lucky girl, who knows.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Oh I would never ever want Dori to feel unwelcome at all!! I wasn't even getting there. I love you guys, all of you, thick and thin.. sober or not. Dori, it sucks that you drank, but you're here and you're back and I bet you're stronger than ever and I know you can get through it with even more resolve than before. I believe in you, absolutey.
And Lisa, you're probably right.. I have no way of knowing what my strength would be if I wasn't pregnant. I do know however that the committments I have made to my sobriety outside myself (to hubby, family, employer) might stick me through if 'self' ever wavered. I know I would lose every single one of those parts of my life, and I would hope even without this little miracle in my belly that I would be standing just as strong.. but of course, there is no way of knowing that.
I never had a craving, not since I quit... but I think between all of us, the circumstances of our "last drink" are so varied that I can understand how we'd also vary in viewing a future drink/relapse/whatever. In one moment, drinking became akin to losing my job, my marriage and likely very soon, my life. I'm amost grateful that my low was as low as it was, because it always reminds me of where I could be again.. a place I never ever thought I would in my life.
<3
And Lisa, you're probably right.. I have no way of knowing what my strength would be if I wasn't pregnant. I do know however that the committments I have made to my sobriety outside myself (to hubby, family, employer) might stick me through if 'self' ever wavered. I know I would lose every single one of those parts of my life, and I would hope even without this little miracle in my belly that I would be standing just as strong.. but of course, there is no way of knowing that.
I never had a craving, not since I quit... but I think between all of us, the circumstances of our "last drink" are so varied that I can understand how we'd also vary in viewing a future drink/relapse/whatever. In one moment, drinking became akin to losing my job, my marriage and likely very soon, my life. I'm amost grateful that my low was as low as it was, because it always reminds me of where I could be again.. a place I never ever thought I would in my life.
<3
Drunkaholic
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Channelview, TX (Houston)
Posts: 514
My Mac crapped out and is in the Apple hospital. I will give a better update later. My lip surgery rocked - can't wait to share pics.
IPhones are awesome but not enough to say everything.
IPhones are awesome but not enough to say everything.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,055
Hello Classmates!!! I'm back from vacation and can I just say it was PARADISE!!!! I have some errands to run before the Holiday weekend but I'll be back soon to catch up on how everyone is doing =) Just wanted to let you know I was home safe and sound~
BTW, one of the best parts of the vacation? Being SOBER and remembering EVERYTHING! lol
XOXO~
BTW, one of the best parts of the vacation? Being SOBER and remembering EVERYTHING! lol
XOXO~
friend of bill w.
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: east coast
Posts: 218
Hi everyone,
Thank you Charles for that seahorse picture!!! That made my day..you are an amazing photographer. You should work for National Geographic or something!
I am still not ready to share my story of my three slips...I will be soon though..so stay tuned....but one of the reasons was ...I thought the house I was moving into was a sober house...well that was far from the truth..I was not prepared to be living with a few active alcoholic/addicts...and I became unraveled and lost my focus...not to mention there being no computer access so I lost one of my tools which was your guys support....
So June 1st is my anniversary. So I am a little over a month sober. What I did to get myself back on track is get an AA sponsor. She has 29 years sober. She wanted me to get a month in sober before we worked the steps. Tomorrow I am meeting her at Dunkin Donuts to start working step one. When I was attending AA I was only doing it half-arsed..not getting a sponsor, or working the steps...now she has me doing 90 in 90...90 meetings in 90 days! This will be the first time I ever 'worked the program' the way it was supposed to be done..so we'll see...
You all are doing such a wonderful job I am so very proud of everyone...it's not fair to you guys to be a member of this class anymore but I can be a 'friend of the class of december' or something!!!
But I will respond more to each of you later....I love each and every one of you...right now things around the neighborhood are crazy...there was a double homicide right down the street from where I live..in fact I heard the gunshots...so i'm trying to keep my focus and my serenity..when I am surrounded by chaos....
more later....hugs all around!!!!!
Thank you Charles for that seahorse picture!!! That made my day..you are an amazing photographer. You should work for National Geographic or something!
I am still not ready to share my story of my three slips...I will be soon though..so stay tuned....but one of the reasons was ...I thought the house I was moving into was a sober house...well that was far from the truth..I was not prepared to be living with a few active alcoholic/addicts...and I became unraveled and lost my focus...not to mention there being no computer access so I lost one of my tools which was your guys support....
So June 1st is my anniversary. So I am a little over a month sober. What I did to get myself back on track is get an AA sponsor. She has 29 years sober. She wanted me to get a month in sober before we worked the steps. Tomorrow I am meeting her at Dunkin Donuts to start working step one. When I was attending AA I was only doing it half-arsed..not getting a sponsor, or working the steps...now she has me doing 90 in 90...90 meetings in 90 days! This will be the first time I ever 'worked the program' the way it was supposed to be done..so we'll see...
You all are doing such a wonderful job I am so very proud of everyone...it's not fair to you guys to be a member of this class anymore but I can be a 'friend of the class of december' or something!!!
But I will respond more to each of you later....I love each and every one of you...right now things around the neighborhood are crazy...there was a double homicide right down the street from where I live..in fact I heard the gunshots...so i'm trying to keep my focus and my serenity..when I am surrounded by chaos....
more later....hugs all around!!!!!
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
fair is a ridiculous notion my dear. You are and always will be one of us. I am sure class of June has good people, and you can learn and grow with them, but you will always be CoD to me.
There is ONE good thing about class of June. Being as your sober date is the first, you will always be the first one celebrating milestones!! I am always last here haha.
There is ONE good thing about class of June. Being as your sober date is the first, you will always be the first one celebrating milestones!! I am always last here haha.
Drunkaholic
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Channelview, TX (Houston)
Posts: 514
I actually went to a social event. It was a pool party.
This was a big deal for me because I just tend to ask myself when I am at social gatherings - why the hell am I here?
I got there about dark - way after the party started, so some people had already been well into the booze. But it was a very civilized group.
I ended up getting a "Weekend Marriage." The karaoke guy used it as part of his shtick to be entertaining. The girl I was paired with was a friend, and when "I had to kiss the bride" I could smell the vodka she had been drinking earlier in the day.
It wasn't gross or anything, just noting how my brain observed it.
I never wanted to drink, or thought about it in any desiring way. I am so blessed that I just don't want it or miss it.
I am just so apathetic to the whole idea of drinking anymore. I do consider this major growth. Early on it was just being aware I was not craving it. Then I moved into fear of craving it, but when that never happened I am now feeling more comfortable out in the world.
I still have some real social discomforts I am working on, but I do feel progress is being made.
This was a big deal for me because I just tend to ask myself when I am at social gatherings - why the hell am I here?
I got there about dark - way after the party started, so some people had already been well into the booze. But it was a very civilized group.
I ended up getting a "Weekend Marriage." The karaoke guy used it as part of his shtick to be entertaining. The girl I was paired with was a friend, and when "I had to kiss the bride" I could smell the vodka she had been drinking earlier in the day.
It wasn't gross or anything, just noting how my brain observed it.
I never wanted to drink, or thought about it in any desiring way. I am so blessed that I just don't want it or miss it.
I am just so apathetic to the whole idea of drinking anymore. I do consider this major growth. Early on it was just being aware I was not craving it. Then I moved into fear of craving it, but when that never happened I am now feeling more comfortable out in the world.
I still have some real social discomforts I am working on, but I do feel progress is being made.
Drunkaholic
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Channelview, TX (Houston)
Posts: 514
As promised I wanted to show some of the pictures of my surgery experience. Don't worry, I'll save the "gross" ones for private viewing only.
First, here I am in the final moments just after surgery:
This is a before and after of what the issue was. There was a (to me) huge dip where a Navy doctor has "disfigured" (over dramatic on purpose) me during a surgery back in the mid-90s. There was nerve damage, and we discovered they had not reattached a muscle back then.
So this was my doctor's second attempt, and this time he got it right (in my opinion).
The scar is from when I was 5 years old and fell. It was that minor event that led to this surgery 27 years later. A saliva gland was damaged and began to act up when I was 32 and that caused the initial surgery.
The Navy doctor went crazy and cut out way too much tissue. Back then, I had almost no feeling in my lip, and with that dip, I would find drool on my chin sometimes. It was really embarrassing.
Anyway, the procedure was cheap, and even though I had to do it twice I am very please with the results.
First, here I am in the final moments just after surgery:
This is a before and after of what the issue was. There was a (to me) huge dip where a Navy doctor has "disfigured" (over dramatic on purpose) me during a surgery back in the mid-90s. There was nerve damage, and we discovered they had not reattached a muscle back then.
So this was my doctor's second attempt, and this time he got it right (in my opinion).
The scar is from when I was 5 years old and fell. It was that minor event that led to this surgery 27 years later. A saliva gland was damaged and began to act up when I was 32 and that caused the initial surgery.
The Navy doctor went crazy and cut out way too much tissue. Back then, I had almost no feeling in my lip, and with that dip, I would find drool on my chin sometimes. It was really embarrassing.
Anyway, the procedure was cheap, and even though I had to do it twice I am very please with the results.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Hey guys n gals 
Just checking in really quick, seems as though everyone is doing well!
Charles, your lip 'fix' looks good.. are you done yet? lol..
We've been packing, moving etc.. the house is just beautiful. Every time I'm there I feel like I'm not supposed to be, like I'm visiting. We brought the dogs over (my biggest worry), and Kyla (she's blind
) did really well. I was pretty worried that totally changing her yard/house would throw off the mapping in her head and she would hurt herself as she learned the new house.. but she did great. Now if we could wave a want and have Sebastian never bark, we might be accepted into such a fancy neighborhood! lol.. Finally feeling the baby kick pretty regularly, I guess he/she is the size of a yam by now. Even the past 2 days I've been able to feel it from the outside of my belly.. totally weird.
On Sunday, Jason and I were taking the dogs up to the new house (which is like 10 minutes from the 'old' house), and had to go through a DUI checkpoint. It was kinda fun, being on the 'good side'..I was driving and when we pulled up to the cop who of course leaned into the car to try to get a whiff of my breath.. asked me if I had had anything to drink today, and it was very cool to just say "Nah, I don't drink". I pulled away and just grinned.. it was a really good feeling.. not sure why it affected me so much.
Anyways, back to work, just wanted to check in
Ta ta!
Just checking in really quick, seems as though everyone is doing well!
Charles, your lip 'fix' looks good.. are you done yet? lol..
We've been packing, moving etc.. the house is just beautiful. Every time I'm there I feel like I'm not supposed to be, like I'm visiting. We brought the dogs over (my biggest worry), and Kyla (she's blind
) did really well. I was pretty worried that totally changing her yard/house would throw off the mapping in her head and she would hurt herself as she learned the new house.. but she did great. Now if we could wave a want and have Sebastian never bark, we might be accepted into such a fancy neighborhood! lol.. Finally feeling the baby kick pretty regularly, I guess he/she is the size of a yam by now. Even the past 2 days I've been able to feel it from the outside of my belly.. totally weird.On Sunday, Jason and I were taking the dogs up to the new house (which is like 10 minutes from the 'old' house), and had to go through a DUI checkpoint. It was kinda fun, being on the 'good side'..I was driving and when we pulled up to the cop who of course leaned into the car to try to get a whiff of my breath.. asked me if I had had anything to drink today, and it was very cool to just say "Nah, I don't drink". I pulled away and just grinned.. it was a really good feeling.. not sure why it affected me so much.
Anyways, back to work, just wanted to check in
Ta ta!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Southern CA.
Posts: 17
Hey Guys and Gals,
Sorry to have dropped off a cliff. I was pleasantly surpirsed to see the December Class is still going strong. I am sincerely so proud of all of you. I may have fallen off a cliff, but, I haven't fallen off of the wagon. Still sober... annnnnnnnnnnd loving it.
Rock on Classmates!
Sorry to have dropped off a cliff. I was pleasantly surpirsed to see the December Class is still going strong. I am sincerely so proud of all of you. I may have fallen off a cliff, but, I haven't fallen off of the wagon. Still sober... annnnnnnnnnnd loving it.
Rock on Classmates!
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