Codependency and Beyond Part 5
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,789
Talking about being a guy, until yesterday I belonged to 3 dating sites, I thought that if I wanted to meet someone I had to be out there in someway. Two years ago I met someone and we had some fun but that was all and apart from that teh sites have been boring or insane.
I realise now that it will happen in time when everything is ready and all I need to do is be open to that. Same as everything else really; acceptance
Kevin
I realise now that it will happen in time when everything is ready and all I need to do is be open to that. Same as everything else really; acceptance
Kevin
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
That's the way I am, Kevin. I'm not actually looking for someone, right now. In the past, I've only picked alcoholics or addicts, so I'm trying to get to the point where I don't gravitate to the sickest man in the room! I figure the healthier I am, the healthier men I will attract. For now, I'm in no hurry.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Grateful,
You are so right about that! Sometimes, despite my best efforts to maintain balance in my life and doing everything 'right', my body still reacts. It's good to know that others have this going on too.
Kev,
Hope you feel better!
You are so right about that! Sometimes, despite my best efforts to maintain balance in my life and doing everything 'right', my body still reacts. It's good to know that others have this going on too.
Kev,
Hope you feel better!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I am grateful for each post, thank you so very much.
Geez,balance......feels like trying to learn to juggle!!!!
Well, I certainly was NOT looking to meet someone, so this is making me pretty nervous so I had to laugh at the reading on surrender.
I am not feeling truly comfortable with that....
but everyone in my face to face circle has been having a really good time and we sound like the comedy club crowd.....lots of laughter and I do believe that's always a great gift.
Amy, I have been thinking about you ....but can't find anything to say...yeah, me speechless!
Geez,balance......feels like trying to learn to juggle!!!!
Well, I certainly was NOT looking to meet someone, so this is making me pretty nervous so I had to laugh at the reading on surrender.
I am not feeling truly comfortable with that....
but everyone in my face to face circle has been having a really good time and we sound like the comedy club crowd.....lots of laughter and I do believe that's always a great gift.
Amy, I have been thinking about you ....but can't find anything to say...yeah, me speechless!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 1,221
((Kev)) so glad your feeling better and that you are here on this thread too!!!
(((Sher))) (((Grateful)))
I have had a friend for many years that has BP2, so I sort of know what its like. I am so glad that you manage to stay on top of it Grateful. You both take good care of yourselves.
(((Sher))) (((Grateful)))
I have had a friend for many years that has BP2, so I sort of know what its like. I am so glad that you manage to stay on top of it Grateful. You both take good care of yourselves.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 1,221
((Amy)) Don`t feel bad, my first H was an alcoholic and I am married to an alcoholic now,but he has been sober for a long while at least. Oh yeah, I also grew up in an alcoholic home...what can I say!!!
((Lisa)) I definitely think you should let go of that awful night!!!!
((Lisa)) I definitely think you should let go of that awful night!!!!
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
o.k, my new, more playful name (can you guess who I am?!?!) Hahaha. I am glad we have a guy on board to Kev, (well, I'm especially glad its you and not some other, stinkier boy). I am pretty in touch with my guy side however, and I too am on a few of those sites. Profile has been set to unavailable for a long time, as it will happen when it does. Actually I am looking real forward to some alone time. I have only lived alone once in my 43 years, for a year, and it was marvelous.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Lisa)) - I LOVE your new name. I had to come here and find out who the heck was Gypsy feet??
I'm reading through the gov't job openings and found one I thought I'd be perfect for..."drug demand reduction specialist"
Don't have a CLUE what the job really is, or anything, but I cracked up laughing when I saw it and couldn't believe they really have a job with that title!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm reading through the gov't job openings and found one I thought I'd be perfect for..."drug demand reduction specialist"
Don't have a CLUE what the job really is, or anything, but I cracked up laughing when I saw it and couldn't believe they really have a job with that title!Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Livingroom
Posts: 323
Lisa, love the new name!!
Kevin, I'm glad your with us also...
I myself have started a mood stabilizer for the first time in my life. My skin feels irritated but I don't see any rash. They told me I would have to stop the med if I came down with a rash. I have been trying really hard to do some self care but it's hard getting into my new HEALTHY habits.....
Kevin, I'm glad your with us also...
I myself have started a mood stabilizer for the first time in my life. My skin feels irritated but I don't see any rash. They told me I would have to stop the med if I came down with a rash. I have been trying really hard to do some self care but it's hard getting into my new HEALTHY habits.....
Leap of Faith Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Kendra, It is not easy to start a new med, eh...I think even though you don't see a rash, you should tell your doctor about the skin irritation,...he may feel it is a precursor to the rash or related in some way...
it is frustrating finding the right med but great when you finally do.
there are several other options as you probably know....hugs
it is frustrating finding the right med but great when you finally do.
there are several other options as you probably know....hugs
Leap of Faith Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
You are reading from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie Copyright 1990 - The Hazelden Foundation
Being Vulnerable
June 18
Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections - not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.
Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.
Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn't respect our confidence. Or we have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.
We can learn from our mistakes - and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately, so we don't scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.
Today, God, help me learn to be appropriately vulnerable. I will not let others exploit or shame me for being vulnerable, and I will not exploit myself.
Being Vulnerable
June 18
Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections - not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.
Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.
Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn't respect our confidence. Or we have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.
We can learn from our mistakes - and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately, so we don't scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.
Today, God, help me learn to be appropriately vulnerable. I will not let others exploit or shame me for being vulnerable, and I will not exploit myself.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
I don't really know where my faults and weaknesses are, does that mean I don't have any? 
I am off for a mini retreat folks! I need a vacation from the man after vacationing with the man haha. Up to beautiful coastal santa barbara to recharge my inner mergirl. Be good to yourselves<3
<~~~~hansen's diet tangerine lime, don't worry!
I am off for a mini retreat folks! I need a vacation from the man after vacationing with the man haha. Up to beautiful coastal santa barbara to recharge my inner mergirl. Be good to yourselves<3
<~~~~hansen's diet tangerine lime, don't worry!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 1,221
((Lisa)) have a fun vacation!! You are so funny.
I have a hard time being vulnerable and honest about my defects, I am sometimes afraid of what others will think, or that they won't like me if they new everything about me. I have been open about somethings on this thread, but second guess myself and wonder, should I have said that. But I would really like to be able to say anything thats on my heart, I do believe that it is safe to do that here. It does say in today's reading that sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing. I think it is so important that we accept other just the way they are, also to love ourselves just the way we are.
I have a hard time being vulnerable and honest about my defects, I am sometimes afraid of what others will think, or that they won't like me if they new everything about me. I have been open about somethings on this thread, but second guess myself and wonder, should I have said that. But I would really like to be able to say anything thats on my heart, I do believe that it is safe to do that here. It does say in today's reading that sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing. I think it is so important that we accept other just the way they are, also to love ourselves just the way we are.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Lisa, I LOVE your new name. And, I absolutely LOVE Santa Barbara. I think it's such a gorgeous city. There is so much history and it's beautiful. Enjoy your vacation!
Kendra, it is often hard to give to ourselves what we so willingly give to others. Take care of you!
Kev, I am all for letting happen what will happen. Whenever I try to make things happen the way I'd like them to, I get disappointed.
Kendra, it is often hard to give to ourselves what we so willingly give to others. Take care of you!
Kev, I am all for letting happen what will happen. Whenever I try to make things happen the way I'd like them to, I get disappointed.
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