Anna

The last part:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-4-a-22.html

least

Ok, let's get serious to the fifth power! I'm ready to be serially serious here...:ghug

Rowan

Dang. I wanted to be first.

Seriously.

stone

Woke up a complete mess, bed soaked with sweat, anxious as hell, thoughts all over the place, scared. Sort of rooted to the spot with fear, not as bad as yesterdays panic attack though.

Face everything and recover, you say frst? I think my plan is to face one thing a day for a while. And in 30 days or 50, I must remember that I am not fine and I must remember not to drink.

Ess, thankyou for the link I am going to phone them.

I really need to just concentrate on today and todays thing is a meeting tonight. Until then I am going to try and keep busy around the house and have a shaky walk at some point. The Jobcentre will be tomorrows thing, I cannot cope with it today.

Thankyou all for your support, I will get through this one day at a time and with help.

stone

Sent an Email to the Drug and Alcohol misuse team in Liverpool, thanks Ess.

Bamboozle

Hello, stone. Wishing you well.

stone

Thanks Bam.

Time to get moving...hard to do right now but have to, I am not good at brave, lol.

nelco

have a good day!!

Rowan

Yes - have a good day. You can do this.

stone

I don't think it is going to be good, as such but better than yesterday anyway.

I have spent 3 years saying "never again" after each binge...one time that is going to happen (isn't it?) ...please "God or whoever", let it be this time!

bugsworth

Morning Stone...after 3 years I would think you are coming to the realization that "God or whoever" is you. I sincerely hope you are getting sick and tired of this and are willing to push through the hard times.

stone

LOL, yea. Thanks Bugs.

Ananda

:ghug

stone

Hi Nands.

I keep getting up, doing some cleaning and then I need to sit down again, lol. If I had just got through that one day, I would be OK now! Maybe I needed a final lesson.

I think at some point we accept defeat, I have felt like I have very often so I can't know if this time it is true either, I hope it is.

espresso

Stoney

Believe808

Stoney, we start to get it when we are just sick & tired of being sick & tired. Good luck with your meeting tonight. Step I - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable.

parentrecovers

love and support to ya today, stone. hugs, k

stone

Hi guys and thanks.

Oh I know step 1, Believe, the step I could never get, lol and the only one you need to get 100%. Cliches are coming back to me already! I am gonna fit right in tonight.

Step 1 is surrender, defeat, the smashing of the delusion we can drink like a normal person one day. AA or not, I think step 1 applies to everyone beginning recovery. Well, I surrender!
It is depressing how many times I have thought that but been wrong. I really do think one day we just have enough and until then all we can do is keep trying our best, but until we are beaten....

Believe808

You know what Stoney, I have heard it over and over and it is so true, INSANITY IS DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS!!!!! Maybe we are all nuts.....Really glad you are giving something different a try.
Now we have to get working on A Power Greater Than OURSELVES

Ananda

Stoney.....i did have to come to believe that it was possible that i was done...and that sobriety was a possiblitiy...as long as i didn't believe....i was stuck in the hopless cycle

(hug)

yeah right...don't even talk to me about cleaning