Woodchucks Chucking Wood
This is difficult to question answer. The amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the individual woodchuck. According to a Wall Street Journal article, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equal to 700 pounds.

Some say it depends on three factors:


The woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood.

The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood.

The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood.
Others say:


He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

If he could chuck wood, the woodchuck would chuck as much as he could!

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

If a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would and should chuck wood. But if woodchucks can't chuck wood, they shouldn't and wouldn't chuck wood. Though were I a woodchuck, and I chucked wood, I would chuck wood with the best woodchucks that chucked wood.

If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then s/he'd chuck all the wood, s/he'd chuck and chuck and chuck and chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.

One quarter of a sycamore if you give him a quarter for every quarter of the sycamore he cut.

It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.

Some maintain that woodchucks could not and would not chuck wood at all.

It depends on how good his dentures are!

A woodchuck, would chuck, as much wood, as a woodchuck, could chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood. But unfortunately, woodchucks do not chuck wood.

About 5.72 fluid litres of wood

About as many boards as the Mongol hoards would hoard if the Mongol hordes did hoard boards.

Um....... 23????



Tons. More than you can count. Honestly. No one can chuck more would than a woodchuck.

If the woodchucks name was Maurice, then it could chuck all the wood that it wants to. However, if its name is Frank, no chucking would be for it.

Due to the average size of a wood chuck and the general density of wood (not including cork) if a wood chuck could chuck wood it would probably get through about 6.573 pounds per day, assuming the wood chuck is functioning correctly.

Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3. However, Chuck Norris' awesome roundhouse kick declares that all decimal points cannot be used in formulas such as this, and so it must be rounded to the final solution of 69 units of wood.

It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.

i want a CLUCK U tshirt.

Cluck U is a chain of fast food places that specialize in chicken wings and buffalo wings. They always deliver and they only exist near colleges and universities. good, spicy, cheap food, delivered real quick to your dorm room or keg party.

In addition to making wings with different sauces on them (honey hickory, cajun, teriyaki, etc.) they have several levels of spicyness - mild, atomic, thermonuclear and 911.

The 911-flavored wings are so spicy that you actually have to sign a waiver to get them. It's only half-serious - the waiver ends with the sentence "I am an idiot.". Then again, it's only half-kidding; the effect of whatever hell-spawned concoction they put on those wings is very close to the effects of tear gas. Lest you think i'm exaggerating, allow me to point out that the preceding observation was made by a friend of mine who was in the Army for a while. After eating some of the demon-crafted 911s, he explained to me, through watering eyes, a runny nose, and between huge gulps of water, how during basic training, army recruits are actually exposed to tear gas. He went on to say that how he felt right then was remarkably similar. I was too busy cramming my mouth with as much bread and water as i could get and eating handfuls of TUMS to pay attention, but he told me again later, when the gastrointestinal holocaust had ended.

Regardless, the food is first-rate, as far as cheap, spicy buffalo wings go. I heartily recommend it to all you carnivores who may read this. Unfortunately, they are only found on the East Coast, south of New Jersey. The first Cluck U was established in New Brunswick, New Jersey (near Rutgers) and they've migrated south from there. A favorite with students at UMD.

How about this K?

What the Cluck! T-shirt from Zazzle.com