Jules62

Oh Gyps....I'm so effing sorry.

You don't have nothing.You have a pause in your life-it's not the end okay?

You can still do this-but you need to heal first. That's all.This isn't the end. Call Tanya-yes.I'd call you too if i could.But please don't give up. this is NOT the end.

Love you. xox

Dee74

Gyps - just wait until you see the ortho - you can't tell anyone anything til then
Didn't sound like surgery to me on the latest you gave me anyway. You can tell her that I guess

I'm with you as well tho - I still have hope that indomitable Vee Vee spirit will prevail

D

gypsytears

Thanks Jules, Tana & Dee.

I'll be back later... doubt I'll sleep much.

I think going out driving and letting a deer hit me sounds good right about now.

IO Storm

So sorry Gyps..

That's a hard knock..

A lot of BS for one day, hun.

But Dee is right..(as usual..your indomitable spirit will ride this out, too)

Try to rest.

Dee74

...and don't kill Bambi

D

tellus

(((Gyps)))

Rowan

Val, I am so so sorry about everything that is happening right now. Don't drink (had to say it, just in case it crossed your mind), don't hurt yourself more.

I know it's hard - the 'what ifs' - but TRY to stay in today. The future will unfold, and worrying will not change a thing. Take it day by day and have faith. Do you have anything spiritual that you can read that helps you when you are feeling like this?

This is but a blip on the radar of your life. Things that seem insurmountable rarely are. Think back to something big that happened in your life and how hard it seemed to get past. Yes, it WAS hard, but you did it.

Rest. Be gentle with yourself. Don't forget to breathe, yogi.

xoxoxo

Rowan

And Gyps, to make you feel better.... (K, too - you will love these)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...n-recipes.html

Rowan

^

gypsytears

Didn't sleep at all.

I didn't want to kill Babmi Dee.... I was hoping the deer would hit me. Seriously.

THanks IO. I really feel my spirit has been crushed beyond recognition right now though.

Not going to drink Ro. At least I'm not planning on it.

Last thing that was insurmountable ended in divorce.

Happy Anniversary to us this year Yippee.

I'm taking a shower soon and leaving for yoga way early. I don't have to be there till 10:30 but I don't see th epoint in being here and ignored on our anniversary.

gypsytears

He must have known I was going to get in the shower. He hasn't taken a shower this early all vacation and especially when he's been working from home.

*******.

Now I have to wait. Before I get showered, dressed and out of here.Yoga, studio after even though it's NYE then I have to take the van in for an oil change.

I'll be back later. I expect he'll be spying on the board again but I don't care anymore. At all.

RK2007

Sorry to hear all this stuff is going on again Gyps.

Sounds like bullying to me, he is trying to manipulate your emotions and make you feel like sh*t. With all the stuff you're doing, the kids, the house etc, I'm sure he'd just start crying because nothing gets done in the house if you followed his orders and went out to work. Point is Gyps, I don't think you can win with him by the sounds of it - and I say that only becuase this is the Xth time this has happened. Even if you get a job, you will still be wrong. Some other problem would appear.

Maybe you should suggest that instead of you getting a job, that he gets a better one because you already have your hands full looking after him as well as the other stuff you do.

Anyway, I've probably said too much - just listen to your instincts Gyps, I have a feeling you have good instincts and they will look after you.

RK2007

Hi Damon.

gypsytears

^^^ Rk

gypsytears

Oh RK... why are you so wise? Everything you said is true, also is everything many other people have said to me too. I can be rather stubborn and dense even, in not wanting to give up on anything. Even it's not good for me.

Nothing I do or don't do is ever good enough, you're right. There is always something that will set him off. An argument or difference of opinion is enough for him to threaten divorce. Everytime.

Today just happens to be our anniversary. He just threw a card on the bed and said "I guess it doesn't mean anything anymore". So I threw it across the room as he stomped out saying then if it doesn't matter why give it to me, just to hurt me more?!"

Inside the card it said... handwritten:

"I'm sorry for all the times I didn't say I'm sorry.
I hope the new year can be a new start for us.

Love Always,

Damon"

Which would've been sort of nice even with his ridiculous attutide last night and threats... until he came back into the room to remind me that it doesn't mean anything and that he wrote it weeks ago.

Then he left... presumably to go to PT for his neck problems.

All About Love

good one RK...LOL

sweet gypsy, what a trialling time you are going through.
you know, you will come out of all this with so much strength
your one gutsy lady an i know you will be okay.
im sending you humungo hugs
an loads of love
8minutes here til its 2009 so i want to wish you the best possibilities there are an all the love in the world for next year
lets face it, love comes to you from all over the world!!! in huge ways!!!
did you get that xmas card yet or what!!?
rusty got his just yesterday...hope yours came or is on its way to your mailbox soon
good old snail mail..what would xmas be without a late xmas card!

All About Love

Hi RK
how r you?


4minutes to go!

gypsytears

I don't have to rush out after all. He is gone so I have time to eat something, check my emails and cry some more.

* crying over my potential neck problem and definite shoulder surgery indicated as well as now my instructor probably won't let me start teaching. And I need some money now especially plus the experience of course. I am pretty beside myself thinking that my teaching career may be over before I even had a chance to get somewhere with it .

All About Love

happy 2009 idiots!!!!!!!!!
yes! i did it i made it im clean wooohoooo!!!!

gypsytears

Nikki, it didn't come yet. It is taking a long time but you do live FAR away so I'm sure it's on it's way. Looking forward to it hun . Maybe it'll even come today :bounce.

Thanks for the love everyone. I do feel it from you guys :ghug.