For members with less than 2 weeks sober...Part 7
Ending the Old Me.
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Under a Rock
Posts: 377
Originally Posted by PaddingtonBear 
You know, even after all this time, my mind still tries to play tricks with me, trying to persuade me that "really i'm just a heavy drinker, not alcoholic". Sometimes I wish that someone (outside of myself, that is) would just give me an official diagnosis - "yes, you are an alcoholic" or "no, you're not an alcoholic". But I know life is never that easy, and I have to take responsibility for myself.
I re-read my diary last night, and it's a record of so much wreckage caused by drinking - I think that alone is all the proof I need that I am alcoholic (plus the fact I answer "yes" to 8 of the 12 questions on the AA website).
The therapist my wife and I were seeing said the same thing; I had "alcoholic tendencies". Again, WTF?
I don't know if would have helped me, a professional stating "Your an Alcoholic" or not. Probably not, I think I needed to get beat down some more before I was ready to accept it.
I guess it goes back to, (the only you can decide if your alcoholic) school of thought.
I know now that I'm an alcoholic, and as the saying goes, it takes one to know one.
So if it will help you, I think you have drinking problem!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 31
Hello all, It's another Day 1 for me. I have been through 2 rehabs last year and decided to drink yet again, this time on a 2 day bender.
I feel really good about quitting this time though - I tried before because other people wanted me to quit. This time I am doing it for myself. I knew that I had enough when for the first time ever I seriously thought about suicide as an option when drunk yesterday. At least I will never have to feel that way again.
I have a Step 1 workbook from a therapist that I am going to fill out after work tonight so that I have it all right in front of me how much alcohol has ruined my life and how much I gave away to drinking. I gave away Friends, family, my license and a job to this disease, now it's time to get as much of those things back - and preserve what I haven't yet lost.
You will all be in my prayers.
Chris
I feel really good about quitting this time though - I tried before because other people wanted me to quit. This time I am doing it for myself. I knew that I had enough when for the first time ever I seriously thought about suicide as an option when drunk yesterday. At least I will never have to feel that way again.
I have a Step 1 workbook from a therapist that I am going to fill out after work tonight so that I have it all right in front of me how much alcohol has ruined my life and how much I gave away to drinking. I gave away Friends, family, my license and a job to this disease, now it's time to get as much of those things back - and preserve what I haven't yet lost.
You will all be in my prayers.
Chris
Ending the Old Me.
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Under a Rock
Posts: 377
Welcome Chris80.
Glad to hear your doing it for yourself. I too knew I had I reached the end when I was hoping to get pulled over for DUI, thinking about walking into work drunk, hurting myself - anything to end the cycle; force me to stop.
In the end, none of that happened. I just gave up, stopped fighting it and asked for help.
There some good information on working the steps here: Step 1 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Are you planning on working a recovery program, AA,?
Again, welcome and stick around, read and post often this thread helped me finally make it past 2 wks.
Glad to hear your doing it for yourself. I too knew I had I reached the end when I was hoping to get pulled over for DUI, thinking about walking into work drunk, hurting myself - anything to end the cycle; force me to stop.
In the end, none of that happened. I just gave up, stopped fighting it and asked for help.
There some good information on working the steps here: Step 1 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Are you planning on working a recovery program, AA,?
Again, welcome and stick around, read and post often this thread helped me finally make it past 2 wks.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 31
Thanks for the info and the welcome Omega.
Yes I am planning on working an AA program - I have way too much of a problem to stop on my own. I have a sponsor who has 12 years clean and is a great guy. I'm also seeing an addiction couselor tomorrow and am going to start either IOP or Early Recovery Group hopefully in the next week.
I don't have a car or a license right now so getting to meetings can be difficult, and that is why I drank again - lack of meetings. My mind plays tricks on me and convinces me that it's ok to drink when I spend too much time alone. But I really want to stop so I will find a way to get there.
I like this site because it helps keep me focused on my recovery throughout the day, so you can bet that I will be posting and reading here often.
Yes I am planning on working an AA program - I have way too much of a problem to stop on my own. I have a sponsor who has 12 years clean and is a great guy. I'm also seeing an addiction couselor tomorrow and am going to start either IOP or Early Recovery Group hopefully in the next week.
I don't have a car or a license right now so getting to meetings can be difficult, and that is why I drank again - lack of meetings. My mind plays tricks on me and convinces me that it's ok to drink when I spend too much time alone. But I really want to stop so I will find a way to get there.
I like this site because it helps keep me focused on my recovery throughout the day, so you can bet that I will be posting and reading here often.
Ending the Old Me.
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Under a Rock
Posts: 377
Originally Posted by Chris80
Yes I am planning on working an AA program - I have way too much of a problem to stop on my own. I have a sponsor who has 12 years clean and is a great guy. I'm also seeing an addiction couselor tomorrow and am going to start either IOP or Early Recovery Group hopefully in the next week.
.
I'm picking someone up before my meeting tonight. No excuse for me to miss when someone else is counting on me to get there.
Ending the Old Me.
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Under a Rock
Posts: 377
Originally Posted by ExNavyInHouston
I can't believe I am on Day 14 ... I get to move on to another thread tomorrow -- after I make it through today. 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 15
Any thoughts on why is day 3 such a hard one to get through? Two days is (relatively) easy. I feel fantastic and ready to take on the world and then suddenly I find myself with a bottle of wine in my hand at the checkout (Yes, I do know how it got there!) and no interest in sobriety even though I know how good it feels.
being me
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 252
Hi Juliet, day 3 or 4 used to be chronic relapse time for me. For me it probably had to do with dealing with emotions that I wasn't used to. A couple days was fine, but to really have to stay fully in reality? It seemed very hard at the time, but now it really seems like the best way to live.
Just one day and one moment at a time is all you have to conquer. Don't drink for this day and choose to pick up some tea or juice or another drink. Perhaps think about why you want to drink and find another solution to quell that feeling. Or just trust that you want to see what another day sober is like. You can do this.
K
Just one day and one moment at a time is all you have to conquer. Don't drink for this day and choose to pick up some tea or juice or another drink. Perhaps think about why you want to drink and find another solution to quell that feeling. Or just trust that you want to see what another day sober is like. You can do this.
K
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Juliet...
Good to see you with us.
Have you considered making a list of why you want to be sober?
You could read it when your tempted to drink.
I carried around the details of my final de tox for a long time.
...I do think it helped me ...I never want to feel like that again!
Good to see you with us.
Have you considered making a list of why you want to be sober?
You could read it when your tempted to drink.
I carried around the details of my final de tox for a long time.
...I do think it helped me ...I never want to feel like that again!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 31
Hello all,
Day 2 for me, and I feel great so far. I know that days 3-4 will be tougher based on my prior experience. But I have therapy today so I can talk to my counselor about it. I have really had enough and have learned the hard way that "half measures avail us nothing." So just for today, I won't be drinking.
Chris
Day 2 for me, and I feel great so far. I know that days 3-4 will be tougher based on my prior experience. But I have therapy today so I can talk to my counselor about it. I have really had enough and have learned the hard way that "half measures avail us nothing." So just for today, I won't be drinking.
Chris
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Indy
Posts: 18
Day 13 tomorrow is the big 1-4.
I bought a keyboard to help with my anxiety and keep me occupied. I learned twinkle twinkle little star on the piano. I never learned to play an instrument so its the first time I ever made music(minus poor singing in the shower). It made me happy. Ive always wanted to learn how to play, and i need healthy habits. Thanks everybody for you support.
E
I bought a keyboard to help with my anxiety and keep me occupied. I learned twinkle twinkle little star on the piano. I never learned to play an instrument so its the first time I ever made music(minus poor singing in the shower). It made me happy. Ive always wanted to learn how to play, and i need healthy habits. Thanks everybody for you support.
E
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 31
Day 3 and still going strong
Hello again friends. Today is day 3 for me. I had a great session with my addiction counselor yesterday. It was only my 2nd time seeing her, but she was VERY insightful. She gave me some things to work on this week to help with why I drink and hooked me up with a relapse prevention group that uses Gorski's book as a guide. I'm excited for that meeting, I don't want to wait until Thursday to go.
EC1979 - Congratulations!!
All: I have kept you all in my prayers - I hope that God (read Higher Power if desired) answers based on screen names haha.
Cheers,
Chris
EC1979 - Congratulations!!
All: I have kept you all in my prayers - I hope that God (read Higher Power if desired) answers based on screen names haha.
Cheers,
Chris
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